Philia

Philia Sep 2016

2016

2016 is coming to its end.
If someone ask me about my achievement this year,
I will tell them, how this year taught me a lot.

I broke up with my 2-year-boyfriend.
I fell for someone who had the idea of the perfect boyfriend, but sadly I cannot fall for him completely.
And finally, I realized that I fell for my best friend.

This year taught me not only how I jump into people's hearts.
But, it taught me about finding and losing people.

It's funny when I first try to move on from my ex,
And God give me that Taurian, who perfectly describes the guy of my dream.
But, I could never fall in love with him.
So I walked away.

That regret came to my mind.
Maybe I could just try to fall for him.

But, nahhh.
Love is not something to learn about.
It's a feeling. And your heart would know when it comes to "the one".

In the late July, I realized that I fell for my bestfriend.
I thought it's only a crush or something temporary.
But, finally I realized, it's him.

For once in my life, I could finally be sure of someone.
I'm no longer hestitate things, I do believe that the one exists.
It's funny how all the pain just instantly erased from my mind and my heart.
And I just fall for him.

I never thought that I would have this sweetest guy,
I never thought that we could be together right now.

What I learned from this year is,
I believe good things really take time.
I believe for everything bad that could possibly happen in your life, something good will eventually come to you.
I learned to give myself a break, and take time to figure things out by myself.
What I want and what I need in life.
I learned that not everything you captured perfect in your mind will always be the one that you want and need.
Maybe it's just not it.
I learned not to lower my standards, or my tolerancy,
I learned to respect and value myself more.
I learned, someone that is all I ever wanted is really do exist.
I learned everything is possible.

*My dreams is no longer about freedom or travelling the world, I dream about home. About him.

Philia Sep 2016

(22).

I’m sorry, but I think you are under the Neptune’s spell.
Because when I visit Fontana di Trevi last summer, I threw coins and I ask Him to show me my ‘person’.
Turns out, it is you.
You are not only my all-time crush, but you are also my best friend.

I thank Him for letting you fall for me, too.
Because I never thought that I will love this hard again.
I’m a cynic when it comes to love.
But you make me love like I’ve never been hurt before.
For once in my life, I’ve never been so sure about someone,
And now, all I ever think about is you.
You make me realize that to love is not to hurt myself.
Because somehow, you make me fall head over heels but feel secure at the same time.
I never felt that I would meet someone who is my whole package, someone who can be my lover, my best friend, and my brother.
You are not just the one I need, but you are also the one that I want in life.

This is our first “(22)”,
Congratulations for us.
I finally believe that ‘the one’ actually exists.
And I believe, it’s always been you.

I may write a lot. But when it comes to love,
You are my only inspiration.

Well, Love doesn’t make sense,
It’s all happen so fast, and I’m glad it is you.

Philia Sep 2016

Fontana di Trevi.

When I look at you,
I remember my last Summer.
When I spend a day in Rome,
that day was so hot,
I was wearing stripes tee and Adidas cap,
Not a cute outfit, I admit.
Under the Sun, I walked by the crowd.
it was Fontana di Trevi
throw your dimes into the fountain, they said.
one dime, then you will go back to Italy.
two dimes, then you will find your true love.
Well, I've been always a fan of this superstitious thing,
Whenever I find a wishing well, or anything that will grant you a wish,
I'm on it.
So I turned my back to the fountain, and I threw two dimes behind my shoulder.
All at once.

And this Autumn, *I have you.

Philia Sep 2016

Letter to the Brokenhearted,

To the brokenhearted,
I promise you, things will get better.
The rain will stop, and the Sun will shine again.
Get up, stand up, then move on.
They said time will heal eventually,
yes indeed.
Someday when you finally able to take a few step forward,
take your time to stop and look back, reflect.
I promise you, you will smile. You will be so proud of yourself.
Maybe if you are lucky enough, you will find someone who will help you to mend your broken heart. Someone who helps you to find all the pieces of your heart,
and when the time has come, you will love again.
Or maybe, you are by yourself, mending your own heart.
But that's okay. You will be fine. You will learn a lot of yourself.
and You will learn to accept, to love, and to respect yourself more.
When the time is right, I promise you, he will come.
He is the one that makes you love like you never been hurt before.
Not in the fastest way, not in the easiest way,
but I promise you, he will.
I promise you, he will love everything about you, cherish every moment with you, and respect you a lot.
He may not a prince charming, but he knows how to treat you.
I promise you, to love someone is to not hurt yourself.
Maybe he is not the one that you expect him to be,
or maybe he is exactly the one that you've been looking for this whole time.
He will make you fall head over heels yet you feel secure at the same time.
I promise you, you will find a brother, a best friend, and a lover for you.
A whole package. The one who gets you excited, the one who makes you deeply in love, the one who makes you feel so loved.
The one that makes you feel that talking to one person is enough.
I promise you, he will make you forget all the pain, all the sadness you've been through before.
He will make you forget all the love story, all the love songs, and all the memory you had before him.
Being with him is all you want. and you are willing to face things that may look impossible.
I promise you, you will find him.
Maybe he is your best friend, maybe he is someone new.
But sooner or later,
I promise you, you will find your one.

Philia Sep 2016

Be my thoughts.

Be my 2 pm thoughts,

When I'm wondering,
If you are doing fine,
Have you eaten your lunch?
How's your day?
Are you tired? Or sleepy?
Have you got enough sleep last night?
What are you having for lunch?
Are you thinking about me too?

Be my 2 am thoughts

When I'm wondering,
Do you love me as much as I do?
Are you dreaming about me?
How do I look in your eyes?
Do you miss me?
Do you know that I love you a bit too much?
Do you know that I'm so grateful to have you in my life?
*Do you know that you are exactly what I've been looking for?

Philia Sep 2016

Lucky.

I love you,
A little too much.

I miss you,
A little too often.

It's like riding a roller coaster,
I'm into you head over heels.

Well I think I'm just lucky enough to fall for my bestfriend.

Philia Aug 2016

Addiction.

I love you
more than you could ever know

I love you
more than you could ever imagine

it is like keeping myself eating cakes,
so addictive.
I couldn't stop even it can make me diabetes.