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Philia Oct 2014
I dream about a guy..

A guy who will treat me well through thick and thin,
A guy who will respect me, for who I am, and won't judge my mistakes..
A guy who will keep telling me, how much he loves me,
and how much he miss me..
A guy who will understand my weird poems, and sentimental quotes,
A guy who will choose to spend his night with me,
A guy who will say sorry, because our relationship isn't about winning,
A guy who will forget his ego to love me,
A guy who will see that I'm the only one for him,
A guy who will fight for me, even I'm so hard to be with,
A guy who will not let me sleep with tears in my eyes,
A guy who will not let my broken heart left falls apart,
A guy who will understand me, in every words, or silence..
A guy who will love me, for who I really am..

*A guy who doesn't exist,
A guy who lives in the fairytale..
Philia Sep 2014
Don't date a guy who won't make time for you.
Don't date a guy who makes you feel unworthy.
Don't date a guy who can't appreciate your feeling.
Don't date a guy who can't accept you the way you are.
Don't date a guy who makes you insecure every single time.
Don't date a guy who breaks your heart everyday.
Don't date a guy who can't make you feel that you're the only one.
Don't date a guy who makes you wanna **** yourself.
Don't date a guy who makes you drink a beer to stop your tears.
Don't date a guy who is too cocky to say sorry.
Don't date a guy who can't understand your words and your silence.
Don't date a guy who is stupid enough to let you go.
Don't date a guy who is temperamental.
Don't date a guy who can't treat you right.
Don't date a guy who treats you like ****.
Don't date a guy who breaks you apart and can't mend it.
Don't date a guy who doesn't know how to make you happy.
Don't date a guy who doesn't make you feel loved.
Don't date a guy who makes you cry every night.
Don't date a guy who let you sleep in your tears.
Don't date a guy who kills you slowly.
*........
Philia Sep 2014
So I put my *** on the bar stool,

"hey! scotch and soda please!"
a moment later, he pass my order,
"thanks!"
He flash a smile, and keep busy with his job.

"you know.. it's been a long week," I start my story,
"I have a lot things to do in school, and him.. OH MY GOD, Him!! I don't understand why he's so rude to me. He doesn't care with my feelings, he doesn't appreciate me at all..."
I sip my scotch a bit.

"...So, about last Saturday, I told him that I missed him, oh yeah! he told me that he missed me too.. but you know, he didn't give me his time to at least talk in the phone. What the ****. I don't need his stupid words tho.."
I sip my scotch a bit.

I look at the barista for a moment,
He looks at me in the middle of mixing the drink,
well I don't care if he doesn't care with my story.
I just need to tell my problem to somebody.

"you know, I'm trying to be a better girlfriend.
I'm trying to stop flirting around or fooling around with other guys,
I'm trying to be more tolerance and ****..
but seems it's all useless.."
I sip my scotch a bit.

He stops mixing the drink,
and now he's wiping the table while looking me in the eye.

"Sometimes I think that he forget how to use his brain.
because every time there's a problem with us, he can't analyse by himself,
he keeps asking the same question. And I'm so tired you know??
I'm so tired explaining the same thing all over again.."
I sip my scotch a bit.

He still looks at me without a word.

"And you know, I wish he looks at his self in the mirror.
It's not me who's messing around. It's him too!!!!
I want him to reflect, how he did to me is really breaking my heart.
I wish he's standing in my shoe, so he knows how much pain I have to endure while I'm bearing with him..
I wish he would ever know.."
I sip my scotch a bit.

and before I open my mouth for another complaints,
he cut my words and say,

**"how much longer will you hold on? why are you still there?"
Philia Sep 2014
As I sit in this old log tonight,
in the middle of severe storm,
I feel nothing.
There's nothing could hurt me more than this broken heart.

As I walk into a deep, and cold forest,
in this creepy night,
I feel nothing.
There's nothing could scare me more than the idea of losing you.

As I hold a bottle of beer in my hand,
I slipped by the frozen ground,
I sit.. and I still feel nothing...
...
...
...
...
...
Philia Sep 2014
A bottle of beer in front of you,
it promise you to blow away your pain,
your insecurity,
your heartache,
drink a little bit..

Now, you're alone in your room,
even though you refused to be alone tonight,
you have no one, admit it.. you're lonely..
drink a little bit..

It's rain outside,
you're staring out of your window..
you start to sob,
you're just too tired to face this rude, rude world..
drink a little bit..

You buy this cheap beer,
just because you will easily fall asleep when you're drunk..
and you hope tomorrow, you can smile again,
like tonight is never happen..
Well, your beer promise that..
drink a little bit..

Tonight, you refuse to think about that man..
the one who makes you think that missing him is a mistake,
because you know that he doesn't even care about you..
now, drink a little bit more..

Your bottle is empty already,
so how?
*Does you beer really blow your pain away like its promise?
Philia Sep 2014
"Cry yourself to sleep,
no one would save you, no one could, and no one may..
it's you who stand up for yourself. Get up, Princess.."

"Cry yourself to sleep, Princess..
you know, a little glass of ***** won't hurt you,
get drunk, then sob.."

"Cry yourself to sleep,
from now on, forget about your Prince Charming ;he's lost, or dragon already ate him,
save yourself,Princess.. save yourself.."

"Cry yourself to sleep,
but don't hurt yourself, Princess ;He doesn't deserve your pain, or your blood.."

"Cry yourself to sleep, Princess..
but for god's sake, he doesn't care.. so what for?"
Philia Sep 2014
I wanna write a love poetry.
A cheesy romantic poems, just for you..

A love story that makes you excited,
makes you envy,
makes you thrilled.

The best romantic story you've ever read,
The best you've ever heard.

A perfect picture of romantic situation,
A flawless moment.

All the sweet moment you've ever wish for,
All the thrilling moment you've ever imagine

A poem that makes you dream,
and smile,
till you fall asleep.

a 'happily ever after' kind of ending.

*...which never exist.
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