Break me past my breaking point
Submerge me past the sea line
Suffocate my air, push my limits farther
Make loving you harder
Lace my life with confusion
Paint me a fictitious illusion
Tie my ankles and bind my wrists
Give me something to resist
I dare you to try like you have something to prove
I might just like it so I may just let you.

No you can't stay
Get the **** out
I called you to come over for a quick session
And now I'm done, so your time is out.

What do you mean you're feeling tired?
You have to go, you need to leave
Yes I'm serious, get the **** out
You've done all you can for me.

I don't want your company,
I don't want to cuddle
Thanks for being my midnight squeeze
You can leave your number on the table.

I doubt I'll call
Don't ask me personal questions
Don't walk away feeling more than
The bare essential intentions.

I told you what this was in the beginning
I have no room for your feelings
I don't know that you expected from this
But it really did have NO meaning

Come and be my bright light
To illuminate my dark way
Grab my hand and run off with me
Tell me that you need me to stay.

You speak of love as if you should know it
But you have never fallen in love with a poet

You have never been captivated by a sentence or a phrase
A heartfelt tribute that would leave you weakened for days

You have never been held prisoner by a verse about love
A single idea expressed in rhythm that made you feel like you couldn't get enough

You've never read an emotion that broke your heart and broke you down
No, you've never loved so deep that you thought you might drown

I love you this way, the same that I love my lyrics
If you can feel what I feel, then tell me so I can hear it.

Rebel?
Maybe.

Sensitive?
Rarely.

Drunk?
Definitely.

Needing you?
Completely.

Tonight I discovered something.
After all the time I spent putting my pieces back together that your lies had so effortlessly thrown around...
I realized that you couldn't be honest with me
Because you couldn't be honest with yourself.
And that's a big deal.
Because for a long time you were the closest thing to Truth that I thought I had.
You were the closest thing to feeling whole that I had ever found.
And when it was over you had me lost for days.
I lost my mind and I lost myself.
But now that I've put all of my pieces back together
I can clearly see that it was you who were the lost one.

and baby, I'm wild.

I'm a double handful.

But I promise I'm worth it.

A picture may be worth a thousand words
But I'll tell you what,
You learn a lot more about a persons character through their words.

He tried to play a girl who knows a thing or two
But his game was hella wack
A miserable rookie trying to play in the big leagues
Looking a lot like Colin Kaepernick
Switching girls the way you switch up gears
Bad timing, stalling from 1 to 2
You're messy and all over the road, boy
You wanna be a player? Well here, let me show you -

It just so happens that beauty covers these scars best.

Although we parted and went about our own ways
Our bond was one that remained.
When you left this life you took a part of me with you
Good night and take care dear friend, I'll see you again soon.

Where have you been
I haven't heard your voice in what feels like decades
Have you been near love?
I haven't felt this distant from you since I've seen your face

Stuck in time, frozen in memory
You stay...

I hate to close my eyes
Because I see your eyes
And I feel your warmth
I hear you tell me there's no one else that you're meant to be with in this moment

I hate to dream
Because I feel your hand
And I taste your kiss
And my heart beats out of my chest in sync with yours

In this memory world, I live a life of fictitious smiles that are based on moments. But it feels like a life we could have created. We had it in a second.

My skin that bled for days
And I thought I might drown in such blood
Barley breathing
He came to heal my wounds
My new skin
Covering my lashes and panic
To bring new light.
To bring new hope.
But yesterday I fell
And I scraped my hands and cracked my head open
I sat there and watched the blood run down my body
I watched the blood drip from my mascara painted eyelashes
And my tears made a ****** mess
I tasted like cheap copper
Little by little I faded away
Because my new skin was ruined
And I couldn't see it anymore
My new skin had vanished
All his light
All my hope
He vanished from me and I was forever more just a blood stain on the street

His oil creased fingers
Wiped the blood from my lip
That he knew was from him...
In his oil based hands my neck laid
Slipping into his arms
Falling into his world...
He kissed my stained lips
And I saw the blood drops levitate
Melting into the ceiling
While the oil from his hands painted my body

I imagined us. Over and over I saw us.
It was real. It was you. You were real.
...I imagined us

The way we could be. The way we deserve to be.
Free. In love. Happy. It was real. We were real.
...I imagined us.

In a home someplace. Making love and raising babies. Holding hands. Living simple. It was a dream. It was perfect. You would have loved it.
...I imagined us.

This scar on my shoulder reminds me that you were real
Those texts in my old flip phone show me you were here
I hear your laugh in my head
And see your eyes when I look in the mirror
I can still feel your body heat
Like you never left

She said she loved you
And your stare was empty
Your heart couldn't feel
Your eyes couldn't see
The love she had
Was more than you deserved
And yet she loved you
More than words

Hey guys,

For a long time I kept my poetry to myself. It was the only outlet I had to express my thoughts and feelings. Since finding this site and receiving all of the support from everyone, I've decided to create a website as another outlet to share my work. Mostly everything I've posted on here is there, with a few exceptions.

I'd really love it if you guys would check it out and let me know your thoughts. What you like, what you don't like, etc. I feel like everyone here has been a helping hand in it.

Thanks so much guys! :)

Www.reflectionpoetry.com

I traded in my crucifix to run away with a man
The life of a rebel
My life with a criminal
Battling my conscience with the devil
Second guessing & rethinking my ways
Freedom tastes so sweet
But is the price worth the pay?
My skin burns as my religion renounces me
Yet my heart beats to his drum
Sins and all
Loving him is a guilty liberation
A brutal descent, a satisfying fall

Sometimes the deepest secrets are told when they think nobody is listening.

From the moment I saw you
I knew you would be the death of me

...and I would let you be.

These words are all that I have
They can always be recited
But never replicated
They are what make me orginal

Maybe one day I'll finish all of these half started rhymes
When the day comes where I can lay in tulips all day sipping a bottle of wine
When the earth stops spinning and I'm resting on cloud

...   ...    ...   ...

So here's to another, half finished piece
Maybe it'll find you more solace than it ever did me.

To be a hero to someone
There will always be a villain found in you
By someone else -

Knock, knock;
Hollow and empty
You can come back another day if you want
But you'll still find nothing.

The "I love you" 's and "I promise"
The dreams of the future and hope for tomorrow
The smiles and the laughter
The holidays and all the family videos...

We don't forget, we only embrace
Now that it's all over I seem to miss those days..
Now that you've gone and I let go of my hate
I wake up sometimes still seeing your face...
I tell you I miss you
And you become so enraged
You scream at me and swear
That I'm just playing games...

I called for an elevator today
I walked in and didn't press a floor
I wished it would take me to a place far away from here
As it gently shut its doors.
I closed my eyes as it lifted me
Gliding past hallways and empty suites
Thinking of the me and you I hoped for us
The me and you we used to be.

Just hold me

I don't need you to promise that you'll love me forever
Or that it will all be alright.
I'm not a child, I understand that the world is cruel and we don't always mean what we say.
I understand that people grow up and grow apart.
I don't need to hear a happy ending
Or a perfect dream.

Just hold me and be silent.
Let me fantasize what it might be like to live in that moment for infinity with you.
If I could exist in a dream, that would be it.

It will break you, challenge you, shape you.

It will rip your heart out and devour it, ***** it back up and serve it to you for dinner.

It will twist your mind and make you question your sanity, your intentions, and your morals.

It will leave you on a street corner begging for a ride or curled up on your bathroom floor with a half empty bottle of gin.

He said "It feels like I'm dying"
I replied "Part of your heart that you gave away is dying. A piece of you is decaying. A vital ***** is suffering.
But you will live. You will grow. Then you will love again".

I remember the rainy night I showed up on your door step begging for answers

It was 2 years later and I cried like it was yesterday

You invited me in and even though I hated you, in I walked

I remember feeling brave
I remember feeling broken, shattered
I remember how easily you brushed my tears off
But you acknowledged how **** I was
Such causality
And I wondered why you had asked me inside with no feeling of remorse.

I left shortly thereafter with fewer answers than I came with
I left with the feeling of regret all over again like a fresh coat of paint

But something happened that night
Somewhere between following you from room to room
Talking about insignificant memories
You reminded me that people move on
You reminded me how sometimes strength is a deep rooted pain, disguised.
And in that night I learned that I don't want your excuses after all
Even if you had any to give.

Getting older, learning to burry the past
Looking for men who may heal me fast
Found myself in bad situations, the kind that wake me from my sleep
When all I ever wanted was someone to love me
Bare hands kept me silent
No matter how far I go, I can't run from it

No nightmares again he said, and we close our eyes
But still I wake at 3am fighting the Demond's in the night.

I bet you wonder if you’re in it
Is there a mention of all your monsters?
There might be.
But then again,
Maybe that one poem you thought was about you
Wasn’t about you.
Maybe you’ve actually faded from my memory and become irrelevant.
But that’s your deepest fear, isn’t it?
Not of what you’ll read about yourself
But what you may not find

Vintage baby
With your 519 Levi's and high tops
Slicked hair, don't care
Soft eyes you risen angel
Vintage baby
You got me
Yeah, you got me
You got me good
I got it bad
Watching you against your '67 Camero  
Slowly ashing away your drag

You've always got some pretty little thing
Mid week comes and she has a new name
You're rugged baby
Made for heartache, a physical heart break
Modern day Greaser
The baddest in the school
I wonder about you as I sun bathe in my pool
Walking home or running from basic
Good girl I stay but watching you is toxic
Give me a chance baby, I promise you'd like it
Turn a good girl into a terrible classic babe
I promise you'd like it

I just do.
Because I don't have another way.
My daughter needs a strong mommy
And so I fight these battles every day.
I do what I do because
My mom never did for me
I wasn't a good enough reason
For her to be happy.
I didn't make her smile enough
For her to love me over men
And I'd always give her another chance
Hoping each time would be different.
She was notorious for the best promises
She really had some good ideas
But she was too depressed to leave her room
So we never did any of those things.
I always wanted to know what it was like
To have a mother who would do anything for me
But she always wanted to know what it was like
To leave this life and be set free.

I crumble in your lap
I fall to pieces within your sentences
Dropping every guard
Surrendering to you completely

But you have no idea
Because all of this is internal
And you can't see it
Because I won't let it show
And you can't feel it
Because I don't want you to know

I don't trust me with you
I would fall too hard
Too fast
And maybe never recover

So I silently go through the motion
I'm lifted, on cloud 9 with you
Silently drifting away to another place
While we lay here
Watching bar rescue
And you hold me like I'm never leaving you

Until I need to leave you
I say I'll see you again
But who knows,
Maybe I won't.

I'm sure he's a great
But I don't need a great man

I need chaos and mayhem
I need destruction and ruin
I need defiance and uncertainty

I don't want a great man
Because great men don't want girls like me.

I'm wearing your favorite color today
You know, that one you said always looked best on me
I curled my hair just the way you like
Spent extra time on my makeup and whitened my teeth
I painted my finger nails and did a dance in the mirror
Before I left the house
Listened to all those old tunes we used to sing together
Knowing I won't see you around
I'm wearing your favorite smile today
That one that lights my eyes green
And while I'm thinking about everything except you
I hope your stuck thinking about all of these things on me.

I love you to pieces
But I'm terrified of you
Trembling that I may be blind, that there's something major I'm missing...
You seem just too good to be true.

I ponder for hours late at night wondering
What could there possibly be?
Your flaw, of course, your skeleton in your closet...
What is it that you haven't told me?

Something that would surely scare me off,
Something I couldn't possibly tolerate,
Please baby, if there's something you're holding back...
Tell me now, don't be afraid.

You see, I love you to pieces darling
But I'm terrified of you,
Terrified I may learn something that would tear me to pieces...
Something terrible about you.

Sweet as candy, lemon squeeze
I religiously take 2 sugar cubes in my morning tea
Unless it is Sunday, then I have 3
But I lose track of days so I always take 3
I dye my hair white so that I can wear organic fleece
Imported from the marketplace in Venice, Italy
I like rainbow sprinkles melted on my Bitto cheese
Would you be so kind to fetch me some, please?
Oh yes, I adore my little castle on the edge of Rimini
I open my kitchen cabinets to feel the salty breeze
I don't ever leave.
My hallways play music so that I can tap dance and sing
In the southwest corridor I lay down to watch the ceiling
Gold on my fingers and diamonds on my feet
I am the queen of my city
And I defy lucidity

You loved me once
But I buried that in the dirt
In the junk yard behind my fence
Where forgotten things commingle with hurt
It's a perfect image of us
All along, this has been our apparent fate
You'll forever be the junk in that yard
But I refuse to be another girl living with your pain.

"Call me when you feel better"

I'll never feel well enough to call you again.