id do anything to give u anything that u want

everything was for u and  i dont care what way you see it

i dont know u but i love you i dont love u but i know you and it all can be made the same

what did u write

never wanted anything more

love u

all that you write of me
im done//its time for change
you never read what i write

and i read that **** everyday

you never show emotion
even when you cry
expressionless at my funeral
dry eyes all in white
money, ***, comfort
thats all u need in life
as your past pours down
on familial wings
and pulls you from my sight

in closed eyes
u look dead and white
open mouth black
closed lips in violence
u let me feel alive

love my family

i love u im sorry if i said anything that made u feel sad or upset i love u boo i hope you come tomorrow to sleep with me i love you

ready to give up

anything

come here msg me

idk how to ask if ur okay

i have no faith in relationships and that is why its so hard to enter or to leave them

its all alone and gone

i dont want to destroy what i have of you

i dont want you to hate me

time changes nothing

i dont want you to hate me

love is existence without existing

all i know is that someday there will be a better place for everybody

doesnt need to be anything else

is this a product of what i do or who i am

everything is becoming the same

im not ready for it but its already here

portrait of the american family in death

portrait of the american family on drugs

portrait of the american family in flames
portrait of the american family in purgatory

too much to ask
to give what im giving
and expect something back
words mean nothing
fire is in your past

constantly repeating memory of everything i never wanted to see

dont want what we have been
i want kaleidoscope glitter
and parting of skin
eyeholes filled with i know
backpack full of this is how it might end
full of never feeling full
or ever coming back again

textbook: ruin your life 1 day at a time

white lights and vampires

****

every night now dreams infuse
hollow lotus flowers
colored by words
strangled by gloom

it means nothing, just friends with my family, we were just *******, it meant notthing

you come around for a while
before u sleep and  i smile
knowing its only when youare dreaming
and awake i hate being alive

my chain is a rope
above a sad gold elephant
hung to heaven from the floor

clouds of smoke
speak in exhaust
write in tongues
by their frail haunches they unlatch
then attach to my lungs

when it could only be the best for me
and never was or will be the best for you

things undone
cannot be undone
lack of effort
cannot be undone
you cannot change anything that you truly feel
increase or decrease the intensity
or alter the way that it will lead you
and feigning heartfelt change
thru something u could easily erase
its defeating to tell the truth
is it worse than what u already do
idk
but its safely packaged
in all the passive relapses
that remind you of what you may have been sent here to do
if i never called u anything
would u still have said those things
or was it just easier to hide behind them
and pretend we werent suffering
and live unhappily
forever and after
shotgunned by the fear
of blame or a connection
to these halflife disappearances

be a good person
be a happy person
y cant they coexist

gonna wake up in the morning
and not remember i wrtoe any of this ****
sit in this chair
read it again
feel completely embaressed
until i smoek and drink again

been hiding to destroying everything that i need
sitting at stoplights daydreaming unable to breath

about anything that u are meaning
and everything that u have to live with

im really good at giving advice that i am completely unable to follow and dont really understand

and you contemplate that **** until it makes u sick
and there is nothing left of what u had
and u dont know if u ever even meant it

rainbow eyes lifeless skinlight
error in human
eats my heart and sins

one other thing **** old people
who act like they world stops for them
and it is okay to be an ******* bcuz u old
idgaf  if u are 90 20 65 48
an old man with a cane
old lady with a red hat
my grandparents idgaf
u dont deserve respect for living  lets get that **** ******* straight

if u a racist
if u an *******
if u are iggnorant
age doesnt excuse u from being human
burn in hell