what rock did i crawl from under from

writers block is a myth if u have to push something out just for the sake of writing it u shouldnt be writing it its garbage

trying to do the right thing to a fault

Slowly loosing purpose

gonna wake up in the morning
and not remember i wrtoe any of this ****
sit in this chair
read it again
feel completely embaressed
until i smoek and drink again

walking aimlessly thru complete dark no where to come from no where to end up

Not doing this anymore im gonna get what I deserve

you are ******* nothing

this girl doesn’t love me

i tried to make it right
thats fine
*******

read what im saying because its for you i am for you

success doesnt make u an artist
money doesnt make u a more worthy *******

admitting u are wrong is the hardest thing in the world to do

real life is discovering
that what u are is something
that any onewho ever loved u
cannot accept u as what u have to be
and the realization that this is the reality
and that the past is everything
and that it is never changing
and what u thought was love+reality
isnt real and doesnt mean anything
and everything u always believed
about consciousness + dreaming
was confused completely

i dont care

id do anything to give u anything that u want

come here msg me

honestly disgusted that i ever tried to give you a part of myself thats the only thing i ever will regret that i didnt know myself enough to understand i deserved better than your sadistic controlling mentality

i hate so many things
cant fix cant change

care too much u are needy
care too little you are an *******
there is no in between

life is a burden so we work towards what is after not knowing where we are going

i dont know what the **** im saying ever

i consume myself

try telling every one in your life
exactly how u feel like

thethings u dont tell any1 the things u always have been hiding from

thethings in the back of your mind that only you know and u dont want anyone else to ever know

see who stays

see who goes

idk how i kept it for so long

there is no point to this anymore

when you do things for people
they stay
maybe they would not have stayed
if you didnt do those things
sad
when you always want others to be happy
in spite of yourself
mostly
they will stay and more will come
when there are too many
it makes you crazy
and you try to be loved
by everyone
and the other half
becomes so selfish
no one else matters
then they go away. SSome,
didnt receive the same treatment
for near as long so they wait
people go to hospitals
people die
people go away
and then its calm
sad and calm
until it starts over again

fix yourself and find what you are looking for

everyone understands my problems except for me

when someone knows but wont admit you are not what they really want

true selfishness is deeper and stronger than what u do with your money

love u

world full of artists muted by doctors medicine

all that you write of me
im done//its time for change
you never read what i write

and i read that **** everyday

you never show emotion
even when you cry
expressionless at my funeral
dry eyes all in white
money, ***, comfort
thats all u need in life
as your past pours down
on familial wings
and pulls you from my sight

tired of feeling like **** ignored displaced while u go on like nothing is happening

i am just a better human being than u thats all there is to say

so many problems so many inconsistencies so many feelings

never ready to be alone again even if it is for  a short time

why can’t u say anything I’m saying everything I have to say and u can’t say anything

going to Thailand in august idk if I’ll come back

punctuation and grammar are just limitations to otherwise flawless forms of communication

starts over

where the **** is your god

if u never resolved what was in your past how can u know that what u want is something that i have

someday soon

building things out of u coudl never be

some things need time to be alive

******* tear me apart

u make me smile