every night now dreams infuse
hollow lotus flowers
colored by words
strangled by gloom

life is robot + always waiting

I don’t feel the same anymore

silence is thinking cant stop until this is what i need

idc if u think u know at all what i mean

cant change or explain the past
it’s there for a reason

ive just been wasting time

summer here but not for anyone else

there is nothing u can do

life is too short and unpredictable

i love u for understanding

when someone i give myself to looks at me i want to feel love in their eyes

the empty that ur feeling is the living ive been feeling for

some people are just not right for each other and some people are made to exist together

I thought that trash bag was a person

i have to figure out what is wrong so i can destroy this
and go and be where i need to be

when it could only be the best for me
and never was or will be the best for you

u will slay that is what u do

don’t know how to plan **** things just happen and I go along with them

she says she’ll never let go
when she already let go

i dont know u but i love you i dont love u but i know you and it all can be made the same

i love u im sorry if i said anything that made u feel sad or upset i love u boo i hope you come tomorrow to sleep with me i love you

u want a painting with everything u want in it to look at and admire when you feel like it from a cold distance not a relationship

a sign

so many people raised and taught to be cold and calculating instead of caring and understanding

some gone girl is speaking when next to my bed
whispered linnet murmurs preying online thru perilous sheds
blue under trees under the moon to leave shadows in your head
god is unloving and fabled in redress
i am a tomb i came too soon i am the tomb to live too sssoon
with lead palms crawling out of skin molds to scratch at the moon
fingers left crinkled and shriveled under what is new
uncluttered archers in stone slit platoons
letting them go letting them go letting it go letting them go
im staring down sideways to watch it unfold
everyone can smile and everyone can glow
but it takes a special evil to hide it from all
limbic numeracy is past reaching goals
it spreads and descends upon the lives it unfolds
its holding a Mesmer that cloves what hasn't sold
then spreads it like skelter across the crust of the world
god god god god how the **** are u where have u been
i need u we needed u like now its like
i ******* never want to see u again
like here is the palm in the eye of the world next to a
doctor boring gold mines into the veins of the scourge
riding checkered pale hearses across blank frail reading boards
educating all our current lovers on eternity and remorse
ur lacking the emotion to understand why it hurts
ur lacking the heart to feel when it ******* burns
your understanding is nothing to the weight of my birth
u live like a vulture failed in naming her worth
i dont give a **** what u take into your remission
the reaper undevils me u know im lacking ambition
the burning in my throat is the lane of my life
empty bottles living rags eating forbidden apples like its nothing
screaming and unbelieving and inhaling the rest at night
bareskin is deadskin thats the only way she could like
its unburdened there where the aqua violet struts and stares
im terminally confused and in unending repair
thats the only way i can survive it not that i like it
just the only way to survive in it and its ******* nothing how i like it
it just reminds me of this and i want to burn in hell again
i need it to continue ill burn in hell again
**** u for thinking you owned anything
im alone in this no one is watching and touching m y shoulder
when im writing this i am alone in this i already disclosed it
i am emulsified in it the world that is forever unopened
and i never even learned how to calm down
and breathe in
this is all that its worth and u arnt enough human to unveil how it hurts

i love constantly
and that can never change

dont even know where to start

as real as you want it to be

every1 deserves better than this
except for myself when i know i am the cause of all this

how do u love someone who doesnt feel love at least anyway close to how u feel it

fighting this everyday for too long when i know its right and i gave up because i was too weak to keep trying somethings are just connected regardless of what u feel about me so many things i cant believe that you said because its exactly what im thinking

im not making anything until it just comes out of me it makes me crazy, bothers me, more than anything but it would be nothing without waiting

nighttime is a beautiful place

nobody knows what your going thru so don’t expect anyone to understand

this couldnt last forever
and now i have an ending

dreams feel so real and how they make me feel when i wake up, sad and afraid

why does everybody want to put a label on **** *******
let **** be what it is

rainbows sleep /live / hide above her open eyes

do what you have to do now once this ends nothing is stopping me

all i had to do was be myself and u tried to take that from me and change me into what u wanted me to be

when life catches up to you

about anything that u are meaning
and everything that u have to live with

there are things in life that pass by and they were perfect then and are perfect now but that doesnt mean that they will ever exist in my reality

need to do this the right way or it will never be worth anything if it can ever be at all

its passed this time stop asking stupid ******* questions

******* doing this inspite of what happens to my life thats how i know its real