Overly prideful
Incredibly flawed
Aware of all the flaws that exist
Poke at them in my mirror
See them more than you do
You might've been able to recognize them
If you had spent 17 years looking at them, too
They say flaws are beautiful
They say it's what makes us human
What if I don't want to be human?
Now what do you tell me?
Hm?

I'm in a closed box
With tape on the top
Don't have any scissors
Have to use my fingernails
Scratch Scratch Scratch
Doesn't work
****
Maybe I should shout?
Let me out?! Let me out!
No one is listening.
I look through the slit
Through the clear tape
I touch my hand to the top
Of my cardboard box
All I see is white outside
I go to curl up a bit
Moving my hand,
But I can't
It sticks
To the top of the box
And I tug & pull
But it doesn't come off
I let out a small sound
I prop my other hand
On the side
And then I realize
That it's now also attached
****
Panic creeps into
The back of my brain
I pull very hard
But to no avail
I start to scream and thrash
As my skin
Touches the box
It sticks
And now I'm still
Still as can be
The box is holding me
Prisoner
The more I tug
The more I feel
Myself getting tugged
Towards it's surface
What is it's purpose?
I put this box in
The back of my brain
Long ago
What was in it?
I really don't know
Or I just can't remember
I'm overly uncomfortable
Then I realize,
I'm in it
And it's trying to consume me
I shouldn't have done it
I put my, myself in this box
And I tossed it into
The back of my brain
I have to refrain
From screaming in pain
As the box let's go of
My skin
I hear the schick schick
Of the tape peeling off
The top of the box
Opens very quietly
I stand up and stretch
Afraid it'll happen
Again
And get out of the box
Before it changes it's mind
And I look around
It's all white
So, this is what the inside of
My head looks like
Boxes upon boxes
Are stacked up like skyscrapers
I see some scissors
Lying beside the now open
Box
I look around again
Then I grab the scissors &
A box,
Slash the tape
Hoping to find all of
Myself again

You keep finding
Yourself
Fawning after her
With doe eyes

She's all sharp edges
And geometric lines
Bold colors
Unraveling in twines
Touch her
And she'll fold up
Like a flower

It's not hard
To find people
Who party
Like it's still 1991
There will always
Be the girls
Who get
Decked out
Get drunk
And pick fights
Guys who flirt
With your skin
On the dance floor
Who take you
To their place
Showing you
Something
You've never known
There will always
Be additives
That make you
Have a great night
Or send you crashing
Without any hope
Of holding on
People take the ride
And it spits them
Out like chewed up
Sunflower carcasses
To live is to be
Free, they say
You give a bird
Too much fly room
And he'll wear
Out his wings
You can dream
About the ***
You'll have
And the girls you'll
never meet
But after all of
The drinking
The smoking
The good time
You still go home
And you still lay in
Your bed
And you still get up
In the morning
With a hangover
And you still feel
Like you are the
Only person
Like you
And you still
Want to be able
To sit around
Without having to
Think about
How lonely you
Really are
Even though
Every night,
You felt like
You were
A exploding
Star

I'm getting a desk tomorrow
To be sitting in a chair
I can write, and paint
I couldn't do those things
Before
Not the way I needed
I need this metaphorical
Structure
I believe that a desk will
Always be a staple in my life
Solid & mine