Imitation stars.
Bright lights for a shadow heart.
Wonder where the imitation starts
And he begins.

Imitation sky.
Bright lights from this empty cave.
Tunnel vision making love look brave.
Like we could win.

And emulation heartbreak from fabricated warmth,
and telling myself
I am okay.
This is not real.
This love was warped.

But echoes of heartbeats,
Tell me if you hear them, dear.
And pictures of people,
And stories of places,
And songs that no one could hear.

When the idea of pain leaves real scars,
And photographs cut this deep.
Look at pictures of his smile,
rip up every chance of sleep.
Blue foam eyes and barefoot boys,
stolen time, white noise,
5000 miles and 600  days,
6 hours to wonder if he stays.

And realise that you are gone.
Apprehend that he was never here.
And you are mourning a ghost.
You're crying for a vision, dear.

Because in complete darkness I found you,
and dreamt what you might be.
Bright lights for a shadow heart
are all you left with me.

Vincent van Gogh**

o man of greater talent blessed
in loss the same as all the rest
wrestled he with demons of the mind
but oh! such beauty
palate knife could find!

in sweat and pain
did Vincent make his mark
in poverty
obsessed for love of art
he, in his eyes, God's poetry was made
struggling til his mortal soul
was shade

his great love, a woman of distain
he could not win
nor loss of her sustain
a bandag'd head of sorrow
woe betides
but greater wound
within his chest resides

o wond'rous lights
the stars in heav'n found
they to fortune's hand
he was forever bound
looked he upon your rays back then
now his own light goes soft

unto eternal end


soulsurvivor
(c) 6/5/2015