People are like knives,
cutting into me,
with their every word.
They know where it really hurts.

They stab where I easily bleed,
I feel like I maybe will relapse,
but I'm trying to see beyond,
beyond the words and the abuse,
but death is always my daily muse.

Even when I'm here, I feel dead inside,
but I'm trying to make it through,
because I love the people in my life,
but the pain, it makes a mark on my little heart,
I'm trying so hard to make it all work,
but people like taking stones and throwing hard,
until they strike me and others applaud.

I feel sick to the very core of it all,
how can you hurt such a fragile girl?
who could never even **** a fly,
you know it hurts and I'm scarred for life,
but still, you wanna destroy me,
and I really don't know why.

Triggered is a small word,
but ****, I wanna cut deep,
I really have an urge to bleed,
but I'm trying to write myself to sleep.

You might hide behind a computer screen,
and hurt me with the words you say,
but you're a coward, I can tell,
and guess who's going to hell?

YOU.

I'll just protect myself,
and watch your power fade.
You won't **** me, I won't let you,
Karma is a ***** & she'll find you too.

There was once this girl I liked.
I liked her so much,
it made me lose my breath,
every time we talked.

Yes, she was that incredible..

But, there was a few things I didn't like,
her lack of emotion when it came to feelings,
how she always used to press my buttons,
just to get a reaction,
how she lead me on,
just to break me down.

A true player, she broke hearts for fun,
just to cheer herself up when she felt down in the dumps,
she ******* up quite a few people's hearts.

I remember the first time I spoke to this girl,
she seemed nice at first, until,
her mood became worse.

It came to the point where we used to fight,
and have this certain distance for weeks,
she always said she was 'done',
then weeks later, she'd come back around,
saying she was sorry and that she felt dumb.

This happened on many occasions,
but even at her worst,
she was still the best,
in my blinded eyes.

This behavior went on for years,
and while I was swallowing my tears,
she was showing her smiles.

Cruel was an understatement.
She knew how I felt,
and made fun of,
my feelings.

The girl I loved, played with my heart,
and I was too blind to see,
this wasn't the one for me.
But, I gave her a chance,
hoping she'd change,
wow, I was wrong,
but, I couldn't move on,
at that point in time.

She broke hearts for the thrill of it,
how sick is that?
Too mean.
But I'm done.

Y'know, when we first spoke,
her plan was to make me fall,
her plan was to lead me on,
and then break my heart.

But guess what?
Her plan failed.
She, herself, fell in love.
And couldn't cope with that,
so she ignored me for weeks,
but came back always,
because she missed me that much.

The player failed at her own game.
Instead, she fell in love,
with the one she wanted to break,
and after that, she sorta 'changed' her ways.

Until, six days ago.
The ex who I tried to keep,
as a best friend,
she gave up on me again.

Wondering why I act so surprised...
I knew this would happen,
but at what time?
I never knew.

I guess a part of me wants her in my life,
but as a friend.
Just wish our friendship,
wouldn't always end/re-mend.

Some friends are hard to be around,
feels like the old connection is gone,
like, you're with a stranger in a room,
and all you can do is try your best,
to make that work out.
If you can't,
then I guess,
that friend,
you have to live,
without.

Save your words and be gone.
Don't let me hold on.


U      
  G    
      H   

I'm too strong,
yet too weak,
that I need,
and I feed,
on,
your,
love.

You are my drug.

It's like I can live without it,
but my mind would fail me,
in a certain moment,
of time,
I would,
eventually,
lose my mind.

This poem makes no sense,
neither does my life,
or the recovery process,
which I'm trying to 'possess'.

I am such a

MESS.

What am I trying to express?
I have no idea.
I guess we all need a space,
to vent and take that weight off our chest,
so it doesn't end up breaking our necks,
from the pressure in our hearts, bones & veins.

Again, this makes no sense,
so excuse the mess of this,
this poem I am trying to write,
using the thoughts of my messed up mind,
which is the reason, for this poem,
which is a mix of lovely & ugly.

  Messy poetry.
By me.

Sorry,
but,
maybe,
not sorry.

Excuse my lack of sense,
I just needed to get these thoughts,
out of my crazy mind.

It's way past seven
Still haven't slept
All I'm thinking of
Is him and his face
The way I fall
Into day dreams
Escaping reality
For what feels like
Absolute eternity

He makes it worth the time
And the moments of
Constant lust
Like a ghost
Sending chills
Down my spine

****, I can feel the cold
Like his hands travel down
And touch all over my skin
This one really knows
Every trick in the book
Stole my heart
With just
One look

I am the woman of your dreams
You are the lover of the night
But there's something about you
Something I just can't describe

I just don't know anymore
Am I losing my sense of mind?
I've just never felt this before
Your love has made me blind

Not as strong as I once thought
Because now, I'm in love
With the man
I only wanted
To ******
I guess love
Truly bites
When you
Find the
**One

There's a special girl who I've known for a while
Her name is flawless, and she has perfect style
We've been besties ever since day one
So glad to call her a friend of mine

She is the funniest
And the most random girl
That I have ever known
But I like that
Makes our conversations
Less boring
And more fun
And also guess what?
WE'RE BOTH ITALIAN!
So we laugh about that
And we joke around
I love it
She's a true friend

Happy birthday again
To the fabulous girl I know

Happy 21st to the punkster I love and adore
I hope we'll be friends forever and more

we are lost souls
looking for true bliss
we are wild hearts
seeking real love
we are the poets
who are messed up
looking for people
who can fix us
give us true love
give us true bliss
give us everything
we thought we'd miss out on
give us strength
fix our hearts up
put us together
and please fix us
adore us like
a masterpiece
explore our minds
and soothe our souls
show us what true love is
show us happiness

Feels like I'm in the summer spirit
Drink in my hand
Baby, I'm feelin' it
Drinking champagne
On a Monday mornin'
Gentle summer breeze
And it's barely 10AM

Having fun with a friend or two
Chillin' as I forget about him
Wine, champagne
All the finest
And as the night comes
Dude, we'll be laughing
Drinking, smoking
As we enjoy this day
Finally feels like summer to me

I am a flirt, most of the time
But let's be honest
Who wouldn't pay attention
To such a crazy babe?

Yeah, her
The girl I always mention
Her
That crazy, hip chick
Who makes me smile
With a little text

Her name begins with E
I'm sure she'll see this
And hopefully smile
I think she'll like it
**Maybe

A few years ago, I remember when
I lost myself and
fell into a severe depression
I struggled getting out of bed
my mind was full of thoughts
most of them were
of suicide

I always smiled
through the pain
but there were times
that my mood crashed
to the point of no return
as I felt the tears falling
making my eyes burn
as I went up to look
at my reflection
but all I could see was a lost person
a person trying to find herself
as well as regain her emotional strength
to fight those terrible thoughts in her head
and put all that struggle to rest

there are still times where I fall apart
crying myself to sleep
but I am still trying
to make a full
recovery