Headphones on and I'm putting it on shuffle, some songs helping me through some trouble. Playlist increases as I sing to myself. Therapeutic no need for help. Headphones through a workout, through a uncomfortable crowd. I lip sing because this is nice and loud. The best feeling as goosebumps crawl in my skin. Like a mental live performance on my life in these songs, what can really go wrong?

Headphones on, jamming to a song. What can go wrong. I'm a jam til the bottles gone. Albums for weeks. Good songs put a blush on my cheeks. Now I'm daydreaming. Headphones on with songs streaming. Thank you for putting up a good taste. With this moment and liquor I wouldn't waste. Going to keep my pace.

I visit the pictures you posted when we matched. December 15th on a Happy Sunday. I glance and peek at that **** like I won that lottery. You're a hottie, a baddy, my Ms Beauty. Howdy ma how you deeerrrrrring? You've got my dreams swerving, hair twirling, and world spinning. When you message me I feel like I'm winning. You should see my happy dance when you compliment me. Let's bake some cookies, watch TV and go for a drive. You may wear my hoodie, sorry for the cigarette smell I've some spray. I just want to hold you all day.

I held on to the weight of her guilt.
Carried the regrets she once felt.
I'll still seek forgiveness for the way I once was. Simply not meant to be. But we work on ourselves to be happy. False hope and filled with misery. Wishes fill the field and the sky. Please take me away from this planet. I will be better I demand it. Here's my agony you can have it. Held on for nothing! Held myself for comfort, Also held a bottle. Even then I still felt the pain. Held that pain in between my arms. I held on to her weight of guilt. With the false hope I've once built. I will hold my own, Find A new home. Sick of the darker thrown. My experience has grown. Now it's time to plant me A new future. I had A gut feeling when the toxic relationship started.
She's the one that gutted me and no longer felt guarded. I held myself for so long.
I killed my love and she got so cold.
Lost my world, I held on to let go.
Don't know if I regret my choices.
Wanted someone to hold. Please forgive me. I can't forgive myself. We kept secrets, lies with bad conversations to ourselves. All that to make sure none of us will go insane because we wanted safer health. Held on for so long. Let go so we can move on. I'm sorry I emptied A clip to your heart. Lost my shot and we both fell apart. I forgive you and I will get better. I'm slowly finding out who I am

She said hello to me, she enjoys talking to me. But I'm a good.i prefer things idiot proof. She like that silly in me, I enjoy her conversations with me. I'm her goofy goober.

The way love tortured me, I was still fighting and it still made me happy. Gave in to go out and drink. Hate me, love me, *** with me. All that work to feel nothing. But I was still feeling something. She'd move on, false hope got me wrong. I'd black out on purpose to not feel it. Last night I was the dumbest and that's something I strongly admit. It's a shame I don't remember it.
Been a couple years now, been over a year since I moved out. Dating tough, being attractive is rough. I get ignored a lot, regret that I ever fought. Sleep deprived again eyes going blood shot. What was going on today? I forgot.
One day I'll be appreciated as far as I know. I've got real homies by my side and it shows.
I'm a change because I reread some of my messages. Life's tough and I get it.
She's not worth it bub, calm down and hush.
She won't speak up. Won't even make time for you. Now you're to drop it all. **** it don't need another drunk call.

Tried to be self medicated, found myself not motivated. Look I have no idea what I've created. No way of understanding, use to feel outstanding. I don't reconize that man, grab my hand. Take me to a safe place. Tear drops and alcohol running down my face. Heart pounding I think I need a relief. Something that cuts deep. This is something I try to get use to. The disappearance of humanity gave me some kind of anxiety. Wish this wasn't consuming me. The never ending feeling of pressure when I ugly cry. Next thing you know I wake up to the sunlight from the sky. What the hell happened to me?
Where is my help, suffering alone with mental health. I've got no room and I feel as if it's all rushing me.

Hush darling don't you cry. Please remember to breathe I'm a write you your personal lullaby. I know how it works, we both have seen some **** before. You and I are unique. Together we both descovered that toxic **** because we've been down beneath. Feels like we're in to deep, come here honey I'm hug you till your safely asleep. You forget to recognize how amazing your personality is, I'm grab you and remind you we'll rule that petty world. You're everything girl. Hush now, I'm speak sofly and I'll keep it down. I'm keep you safe and sound.

It was my fist day, i wore a white T dark jeans, some converse. I was a freshman just wanting to look fly. before i knew it i was going around looking like a fool. By the second year my sophomore year i just wanted class too look more then fly. Things were done that i wasn't to proud of but i got my first job. by the time i was a junior i was working full time at a hotel, just not caring what my class thinks of me. All i wanted was to help i use to have tears rushing down my face saying i hate this place. Now I am a senior ready for the walk, ready to start a new life. I am scared i am happy i will miss this all. i cant tell you how your gonna turn out but whatever you do, just cherish the moments because in a blink of an eye you will be a senior. I had a lot of good and bads, laughed a lot, cried a lot. but being angry at whatever it is or being proud of an achievement is precious. you and your peers should stick together because soon enough you or your peers need to seek help or did seek help and i would rather be in debt helping someone get by rather then having them suffer alone. you don't have to help but it is more then appreciated to stick up for someone rather then walk the line with your cool or precious money or scholarship pretending it was all about you when really its all about the people around you. I am a 19 year senior class of 2015, this is to all the kids who suffered a lot and i hope for the best. just don't give up or don't choose the easy way out because the ones who suffer the most turn out to be the most successful so just be patient and things will eventually be okay.

We're all different, yet we have a lot in common. We fight the cold with fire, but others call it burning bridges. I guess there's a difference.

Its funny how it was the past and feels so odd and feels like time has stopped. felt like time didn't even wanna exist. Now I'm crying so i sent a kiss. Why does this have to go, I'm a hyperventilate and now my bodies cold. I take any object or challenge you throw at me. I cry a lot in pain with sorrow now in agony. This love is my all and only hope

As long as if i don't suffer any more pain, I know in the longer run I'll be okay. Not like everyone will be the same. Just always a new wave. Rounds after another one, I pour some then I'm done. Lost too much before, had to start all over. Don't want this on anyone else.