Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Nellie 55 Aug 2020
Last I checked i was the one ugly
But now I'm focusing on trying to be happy
No longer in theater arts so I don't have to be acting
Like performance of a lifetime
With no spotlight
The way I am is a whole new level of normal
I've got teased but that's fine because I am me
Chasing reality
Sober from the bad
The secrets I've had
Now I climb up a step
Drinking a regret
Lost track of the people that left
"Too good at goodbyes"
But that's okay because I'm still alive
Tell me my personality horrible
Last I checked I've met too many that ended up gullible
Nellie 55 Sep 2020
She had me gazing upon her beauty. Had to message her because she's the cutie. Heart racing everything I got a new message. Hello darling how are you today? You're something real that made my day. Would you like to hang soon? I'll drive over and we can hang and get to know one another. That smile with the gaze in your eyes. Had me lose myself and I glance upon the skies. All because I see a fallen angel. Hello beautiful you're flawless in every angle.
Nellie 55 Feb 2024
Honestly what is power to people?
It can be family, it can be Loyalty, it can even be something as strong as a addiction.
Love is powerful.
Why is love thrown somewhere so deep and tough to dig up?
I don't have that answer
But I do know one thing.
It still reaches into my heart.
Pumps the blood in my veins.
But power is something someone is strong enough to lose and gain.
You'll lose a lot on the way, you'll gain some as well.
But don't allow power to be your addiction.
Nellie 55 Dec 2019
I'm a mess, still wearing slippers and sweats.
Have been crying, to the world I've been lying.
Don't know how to deal, endless thoughts that make me feel.
In agony, she don't want me.
She's been moving on, I'm here feeling gone.
Wish I had the chance for one last time. Still daydreaming about her being mine.
I'm not okay, wish she could stop everything to save my day.
I'm ready to cry,
But wait that's all I've been doing.
Nellie 55 Feb 2020
At a club
Still sober not gonna **** it up
Was with homies
Still lonely
If everyone is trying to wreck my confidence
Missions accomplished
My temptations stronger
Nah man I'm trying I'm not staying any longer
Alone like crazy
Like for real on a serious note
I'm the type to do good until you start becoming a ghost
A bit needy
Clingy
****! When will I change to make others happy?
Like I'm trying
Bet
Not like I'm isolating and crying
Time to pretend I'm ight
Don't wanna fight
"It's cool I checked out"
I'm a be fine
Nellie 55 Jan 2020
Where's my mental support
I'm really hurt
Let me grab my coat
With this I'm hoping to cope
Let the memories rest in piece
I can't believe this happened to me
No more dates
No more escapes
Now I'm lost in anxiety
**** this reality
Nellie 55 Feb 2020
I've got ***** hands
Not ready for reality
Wish I was able to understand
Where is my hero
Wheres my drink
Pass me something strong
Because i dont want to think
I can't believe life is torturing
I'm in agony
I'm toxic
An alcoholic
Nellie 55 Jul 2020
I'm sitting in the car. Engine running with songs crying with me. I sing the blues in a realization of this agony. I want to pour it down my system till the chills go away. Start off with a better day. How does one good man face something like this? The simpler times run through my head and I begin to truly miss.
I'm a go on, time to prove them wrong. I'm not letting myself go, I'm a restart and take it slow. I've got this, I've got my strength.
Not living in regret, I'm a start myself all over.
Nellie 55 Mar 2020
Like crazy
You're one tough lady
Been crossing my dreams lately
You're beautiful baby
What? do you admire me?
What's this about in this reality
Am I dreaming?
Wake up!
Yeah, ***** real
What's up beautiful?
How you doing?
I'm a hit up the backroads
Jam out to my stero
Wanna join? I've got no cruise control.
But you're cruising on my mind
Hey, want to hit up fast food?
Don't need fancy ****
You know it
But I am full of surprises
Hope you like the club
I'm a dress you up
Possibly take you out for a walk
Hmm call me sweetheart we'll talk
Sneak peek on part two ^_^
Nellie 55 Jan 2020
Have you ever done anything you instantly regret?
I use to have the world in my hands
Now I'm losing my **** everyday
I'm not even allowed anywhere safe
The dark part of me won't leave because I'm a few steps behind.
I use to rush home to kiss your beautiful smile
Now I'm lost in a dark shadow.
Nellie 55 Jan 2020
Dear Nelson,
You crossed my mind reading some dark post.
You need help and I don't think you should be a ghost.
How's the life treating you?
Any paid time off I believe you need it.
You don't need to be suicidal because you're better that that.
Have you ever noticed your feelings affect others?
Maybe you need to be away for a little while.
Get away from a familiar place.
Come on Nel have some faith.
I really believe you're an amazing man
Not all good people make it and I believe in you.
You shouldn't isolate
Butbi know you cant help it.
Come on Nel reach out please

sincerely your sane thoughts
Nellie 55 Jan 2020
How many times do I have to feel this feeling
Wanted her to be happier now I'm suffering
Does it feel better?
When will I get a letter?
**** whats the number
I'm in need of help
Wanted to plan a few things
But then I thought of my brothers baby
**** I need to see him been a while lately
Nellie 55 Mar 2020
"His palms are sweaty"
"Knees weak, arms heavy"
"Had a dream I was king, woke up still king"
Just these few quotes kept me away from losing everything
Thank you Marshall
You my hero
I always was a huge fan
Like y'all don't understand
Him and I relate
I'd a done whatever it had to take
Watched my world break
Because some ***** decided to be fake
I'm a hit up the club
Maybe go to a after party
Cellphone off
Music load
**** dod i bring a charger
**** it I've got a spare in a toolbox
Just no charge block
Quick screens shut off
I'm ready
No ***** but my sweater ready
Rule the kingdom
I know i can be random
**** a beat
I just need a pen and blank sheet
Wrote down my own vibes
About to be revived
Nellie 55 Jul 2021
I'm not a good friend I've gone mental
Ignore the facts I've been slightly suicidal
Girls ranting to me about wanting to be happy
But can't fight the reality
I'm not there right away
So now I'm the cause of pain
We learn from failure not a bad memory
Sad to see I'm someone's world temporary
**** the smiles I've once had
Always rushing to get the past right back
Now I'm trying to move from that
I'm a horrible friend because I blame the mental
A repeated cycle but **** me for being suicidal
Crossed paths victims and a suspect
But I'm the one who you chose to disrespect
I'm there but it's not enough
Then you tell be it's the memory and dark thoughts from above
Who do I believe?
What are you trying to achieve?
I tell you my days off 3 times a week
But you remember conversations
But you don't remember what we planned last week?
Excuse me for not participating in your cycle
I'm just looking past it to avoid going ******
Nellie 55 Dec 2019
I have to try and let go. She don't want it anymore, feeling tears run down my "handsome face"
Here crying without you baby, my wishes are meant to be for the best. Hope our love will meet again and the past may die down and in peace rest. Knowing you don't want me back is one of the worse nightmares ever experienced.  How do you really feel my darling? Everything secretly alright? Just one last kiss, before we consider each other strangers. I'm still in love, but it's time for me to let go. To me you'll ways be cherished because when you smile you made my heart glow. By the time I improved myself, my life flashes. The love of my life decided it was time to go and before i know my face melts and hopes crashes
What's wrong with me? I wish to be held till i cry myself to sleep
Nellie 55 May 2020
I'm working on life as best as I can, always that helping hand. Made huge mistakes that can ruin my job, tried to brush it off. I live life anxious and that's how it'll be. Feels like there isn't much humanity. Everyone's so unique in their own way. I write positive vibes everyday. I'm a phenomenal poet, yes I know it. It's a escape, I know who's fake. Don't mean to watch others break. I'll always pick up the phone even if it's late. Just spam the call, hope you know I'm not about to allow an individual fall. I can't say I'll always be there to catch, but I'll pick them up and help them with a regret. That's it that's all me. Now tell me what's the next achievement to be happy.
Nellie 55 Jan 2020
No sleep
Tempted to bleed
I'm not going to eat
Call me stubborn but I feel as if I can't breathe
I'm arguing with my thoughts
Conversing the ****** side of myself
Don't be a ******* Nel
You deserve the worst and you better listen well
You dug your own grave
Hahahahaha
Now you claim you're in pain
Don't nobody want to hear it
Just handle your own ****
Best not cry neither
You're the lying manipulative cheater
Especially when you're the one who can't pull that trigger
Guess what she was the one to pull it and still couldn't even get the shot
Welcome to a petty party
I hope you siffer and silence
Especially when you think about it
Hope you can't speak or even not sleep about it
Not hungry again
Well good radiance what's next? Is your veins going to be open?
The past is like a split leg or wrist
Something to bleed up until you're numb and want more because you can't resist.
The past will maybe heal but you'll have one hell of a scar.
You'll be lucky if time allows scars to disappear but guess what nel?
Nobody gives a **** who you are.
This is something you need to suffer through.
Look at the dumb **** you put her through.
You're nothing but a "sin"
Time to cry again
Nellie 55 May 2019
I feel the insecurities
I get the heart aches
Dont matter what time it is
My chest dont hold back
Been a mental struggle
Success was considered a myth
How long before I sit in comfort
Or even in silence
All my aches and insecurities scream at me
Just please give me a break
Sorry couldn't think of a title for this one as well lol
Nellie 55 Jun 2020
I don't know
Feels like I'm speaking to a ghost
What's killing me the most?
I guess insecurities got the best of me
What do you mean a check from reality?
Taxes beyond debt
But ***** it I'm spend my regret
Having fun yet?
Family before life
Spend some time and get some buzzing vibes tonight
Nellie 55 Jan 2020
You're losing it
Abusing ****
Might as well quit
Nobody ain't going to be there
No one actually does care
Guess what?
You're crazy and don't deserve love.
You can't even commit to your own loss
**** you're filled with nothing but flaws
Reality check
You know what I'm sick of being insecure
I'm sick of life guess who's not afraid to disappear
I've left before and ghosted every body
Don't think you'd expect me to do it agin
Hahahah
Man i really can ghost everyone and still never be open
Try to test me
I'll leave quicker then reality
Nellie 55 May 2020
My loyalty use to be cold
No I'm running my own world
Loyalty is now an achievement
We're guilty let's make an agreement
Make a change and hit up the trust range
I've lied and cheated
I've also been the victim
Now I'm older and ready for something real
Lessons taught
About to seaclrch for myself and what not
Nellie 55 Jan 2020
Loss of confidence in myself
Lost in a bad thought
Lost is lack of comfort
Lost communication
Lost myself
Lost but I need mercy
Lost in many ways no one will ever truly understand
Nellie 55 Feb 2020
I am ******* at myself
Who gives a **** about my health
Fuckk it ghost mode
Nellie 55 Jan 2021
With the boys at work, just enjoying ourselves while we put in our two cents worth.
I've got a hollar back, they put me on track. With us it'll be like that. Busted a crackpot to roast each other. A proud homie a good brother.
We laugh to tears, got jokes for years.
Thank homies for patching my back, for you I'll work with some slack
Nellie 55 Dec 2019
I'm a bit afraid of me. Can't tell if I'm living in reality. Been hung out airless. Both of us have been known to be beartless. All I've cared about about was keeping us both happy. Now let's talk how have you and him been? What's that to weird? I'm sorry, I'm a try to stop. Anyways how you feeling? Are you eating? Need any help?
What's going on with me? Now I've done it.
I can be very impossible, my defense is not controlled. But hopefully you're able to move. I'm finding a new groove.
Hopefully meds help me, but it's been a hella of a start I'm going on a bumpy ride. Insecurities lifting me time to hide.
When will I be loved? Am I a decent human being? I've said **** i didn't mean. Actions of mine hurt us both. I guess it's meant be a start of a depressing life.
Nellie 55 Dec 2019
They say moving on maybe the best. But i got this fear in my chest. I'd rather be broken apart then to be strangers, because that would me bye forever. We walked this panet, now I'm running up to catch it. The keys are still tucked in your pocket. My bearts your just come home and lock it.
Where is my darling, I lost my one and only hero. Couldn't even share one last night together watching tv and dosing off in each others arms. I'm screaming like a puppy waiting around for you to come revive me. Drunk off the flames and hearing my thoughts taunt me. Where do I swim from here because I'm a drown alone, wish I can call whenever but she ain't gonna wanna answer the phone. I don't even get to here her voice on the voicemail. Just myuck huh.
Miss the snuggles miss the food and miss all the times we spent. I didn't care about anything because I was happy. You know. Knowing a lot of people don't matter because I'm still lonely. Not a **** cure will even help. But look at me, I hate myself.
Nellie 55 May 2021
To sit and to think. Too enjoy that silence of peace. Where's that better place? I change my mind...... this is the best I can ever get. Once upon a broken heart I've realized it's easier to let go but not to forget. My favorite is sunset with some tunes. No one but me. I think this is a sign, I think for once I'll be alright. NO!
I am alright, I am in a safer place. The beautiful lies people feed me. The tough live I've got. For once in my life I'm fine. Not a person can change that.
Nellie 55 Dec 2019
You ever love some one so much you'd walk through a physical storm for them? Make sure they're warm and safe.
My baby ain't coming back, I've got to change my act. But it's hard to see what's going on I'm a have to react.
Sometimes I feel like I'm a be alright. All it takes is music and a motivation to write. I find myself writing the same things woth different metaphors.
I glace out the window picturing her next to me. Feel the chills all the way down to my feet.
Toxic, betrayal, and love threw knives. But I'll still have her back. Not like I'm a monster I'm just trying to get back on track.
Nellie 55 Jan 2022
It makes two mistakes to cause a conflict of interest, but from the sounds of it someone is dealing with it with ignorance. One can wash the hands full of sins, but God forbid the others sin begins. Talk about a toxic conflict. No one talks about love, just depression. I try this, I try that. I'll still take words I've never said back. Once upon a unfair broken heart, but I still creep my way into the dark. **** what's my gut telling me? Is this another broken story? Happily never after, excuses one after another. I've heard it all but still feel the worse. Life's putting my roses into the dirt. But it's painfully beautiful with the thorns that hurt. I guess that's why they're red, ****** pedals full of "romance"
I think I'll consider my second thoughts instead.
Nellie 55 Jan 2021
My heart was sitting on a fence
Couldn't pick a side so I had to learn self defense
Like trouble I'd like a time out
Trying to improve anyone ready to take me out
Here's a chance, but I'm for once generally happy
Aside from daydreaming of a settle
Hopefully one day I'll have my own cute family, but until then I'm okay with where I'm at
Not to skinny, not too fat
Just a decent man waiting for someone to see that
Loyalty is my specialty
The past is the past and I'm on a new journey
Nellie 55 Jun 2020
I heard that I'm too lazy, you don't understand what I do to me. Let me tell you what I think of you. I don't think you'll understand what I'm about to do.
I put on mad work ethic, and I'm to be lazy or pathetic?
Last I checked I put in the work, weather I'm feeling good or worse.
I dont cry or complain about mental or physical pain. I find my jaw and lay down the business.
I ***** my sleep schedule to make it easier. Now you take it away from me and take it for granted.
Bye, bye.
I'm a watch you burn down, I'm smiling because I know I'm safe and sound.
I treated the knives on my back and ditching you to round two
Open calling in with a little headache
Have fun I'm on break
And now I'm drop down to part time :p
Have fun dissing my hard work
Because I'm the better one
Nellie 55 Jun 2020
Working overtime restless
Got suspended for being exhausted
Critical mind consumes my performance
Work ethic too "poor"
Lost overtime and much more
What do you want from me

I put in 70 hours in 5 days
Got a weekend off to receive a text I'm suspended and lost that overtime pay
What was the point?
About to walk out because y'all are too petty
Don't need something fake or two faced
Nellie 55 Jan 2020
Let me get one thing straight!
I'm not afraid to speak up.
You forget to realize I survived the darkness while all of you grew up in luxury.
I'm feeding off kindness but the angery side of me is hungry.
I'm not the one you want to *******,
Sure I'm trying to change but I also could say ***** it all.
There's a reason why I'm silent.
I don't want to hurt anyone but I'm not afraid to get violent
I've gone to far
But I also don't care who you are.
Let's say I'm weak,
But you don't know that till I knock you off your feet
I've bled before,
I've lost a war
But battle me and you'll see a new darkside of me
I can make you regret fighting because I'll put you in misery
Nellie 55 Dec 2020
Kisses feeling empty, am I losing everything?
Did I get slowly replaced? Or is this just a glitch or a phase? Why am I not feeling loved or safe?
I know it's not my place to try and intervene
But losing myself through sanity and I catch myself saying **** I don't mean
One minute I'm loved
Then it feels like I just got shoved
Depression comes in waves
Shook my hand back
**** it i guess I'm drowning to that
But I'm fine, then I'm not, then I'm okay
I smile because it's natural but then I lose at the end of the day
Talk about two broken hearts in the same place, I think my is deteriorating
Nellie 55 Jan 2020
I'm feeling so ******
******* and don't want to be here
No more love and snuggles but now I get to look at him everyday at work and it's making me anxious and insecure
I "don't got to prove ****"
Mother **** what do yoh mean?
I'm not going to be classified as a liar for the rest of my life?
You know what **** it you're right
I guess I'm that flaw that wont change
Grab me a blade so I can open another vein
Look at me though
Should I become a ghost
**** the feelings I've got inside
Don't no one feel them so why should I hide?
I'm a be so ******* ****** if the next human being cracks ****** *** jokes
Last ****** that said my name in vain got punched in the face and **** near choked
I'm a pick up my ****** world and drop it on you
Hopefully you'll see what i go through
Honestly no one cares about me
I'm a just do my think and hope someone real appreciates me
Nellie 55 Jan 2020
My sanity went through a massacre
I always put people first
I'm indeed independent and critical against myself
Get me off pills please
Daddy told me I'm alright
I'm a end up again lonely tonight
No more spooning snuggles to cure the insecurities
Wish there was a easier side of me
Did you know I'm a ****** mess?
I'm literally a regret slash threat
You wanna try me let's make a bet
But look I'm fine.
Give me something duel to be more forceful
Time to met these tears shine
I'm losing myself and the past I left behind
Half tempted to become a ****** ghost
***** been hurting especially when i need the help the most
Just can't get the picture to let go
I'm feeling numb and cold
Goodbye now
Nellie 55 Jan 2020
Wait you're scared of me?
I'm not that suicidal man this is embarrassing
I mean I can commit to the pain
It's complicated but I swear I'm sane
I would put a blade to my skin
Grab a lighter to burn to burn it open
Man that's ******* up I know
Doctor visits? Hell no!
I've been arguing with help and I'm kind of an ***
I don't want help no more because I find myself detached
Give me a good reason like for real
This ***** something different
How am I doing?
Well to be honest I'm a ******* lie about me doing well
I'm honestly in mental hell
But who wants to ******* listen to me
Or deal woth me being petty
For reality I'm not really ready
Nellie 55 Mar 2020
mom,
i cried because of Marshalls song
felt like i was never a good son
wished it was me that was gone and done
isn't life fun?
i remember the good and the bad
wished i was a man that wasn't a regret you once had
glanced from a distance and saw the old white car you use to drive
tear drops flooding my eyes
hey where dad?
******* depression
i'm beginning i'm the regret everyone had
she don't want me neither
i'd rather sit here in silence and take whatever everyone has to throw at me
just letting every thing hurt me
that's how it's supposed to be
dear family,
wished i was something ya'll wanted
now my feelings **** me guess who's haunted?
ma
wished i didn't hurt you
nor watched you die a few times
**** i'm glad no one was ******* there for me
i'd go take try because i was always lonely
even when i did want help
guess what? I ain't got no one else
plus who wants to waist time sitting with me in the waiting room
i'm a be here suffering in silence
guess what i'm trying to say
is that I'll eventually be okay
love ya ma
love ya pops
i'm a not ask for help'
i can take it with me back to hell
Nellie 55 Feb 2021
I can handle the gossip, I can take some insults. I can even be the bad guy in some of these stories. I'm in no rush or a hurry. Just don't abuse my time and be fake. These stars die, but atleast there's some light. Even the darker ones get a glance of a dim direction. It's a great day to catch my friendship pending. Snaps that's been sending. But I'm not worried, kind of curious to see who's next, or who'll use me when they send me a text. Left on read, that's fine. I do the same sometimes, but don't be rude and expect my time. I've got a horrible record of having poor conversation skills. But atleast my loyalty is real. I find myself bored as well with blank forehead selfies, but atleast the streaks are increasing your score though. I'm open to talk, well more than likely to play the question game. Atleast I'm curious and attempt to know more then your name. I know some of my questions are clingy, cheesy, and raw. But atleast I'm trying and giving it a shot.
Nellie 55 Jun 2020
I don't suffer with jealousy.
Just having bad anxiety.
I predict, watch myself commit.
I'm a be the end if me.
Plans change all the time, for what though?
That's fine, I'll get over it.
I'm at my best with no one by my side anyway.
Nothing affects me, not having jealousy.
Being a concerned friend is now considered jealousy and butting into business?
Forget I said **** then.
Excuse me while I go close myself because I was beginning to be open.
Nellie 55 May 2019
I'm sitting on top of a tree watching **** scrambling beneath me.
Feel the need to feel the wind rock me to sleep.
I should get a good comfortable bearable seat.
But until then I shall speak in silence and hope nature understands me.
Can't think of a title
Nellie 55 Dec 2019
I already miss your company
Still mean the world to me.
Now you wanna be a stranger
Insecurities put me in danger.
Don't know how to pull through.
I officially don't know the new you.
Nellie 55 Dec 2019
Babe take me back, been missing us and i think we should get back on track. We can eventually help each other through it. Harder on ourselves but i swear we can prove it. By the time I woke up I noticed you weren't next to me. Truly yours and meant to be. Tell me how you still feel. Am I wrong about believing because my loves real. In tears think of me replaced. I wanna come home to your beautiful face. I am sorry, i am loyal, babe I can prove my worth. I can give you everything i have to offer. Please consider me back. In love with you no joke nor a act. Darling xoxoxo a kiss, it's you I miss. I've got a wish. Please be mine
Nellie 55 Jan 2020
Once again hung, change yourself nel
You dont got to act up. Don't tell me to act up I've got feelings might as well broad cast my activity because the thoughts catch up to me.
It's okay though this stuffed animal is next to me. I've got a playlist to ugly cry it out. Maybe tomorrow it'll get better. It has to grandma did you write me a letter?
Hey nel,
Why are you still hung up? Honestly you'll always ***** up love. You and your dumb actions sink you down you can't swim your way out. Guess who left everyone you loved is now a stranger. Keep that petty **** out because you'll drown deepr and you'll stay in danger.
Come on man I'm just trying to fix how I act. No one gives me the time to explain because I cause to much pain.
Nice try Nel,
You haven't changed. You're actions make you uglier.  I don't blame people leaving you to be happier. Guess that's why no one actually reaches out to you. Especially with the stupidity you put others through.
Okay man good talk. I'm a step down and walk away. Thanks for the advice anyway. I know i can get through it. Just have to force myself and keep the good vibes alive.
Whatever nel,
You're just a little *****. Why dont you make another stitch.
Nellie 55 Mar 2020
Why do I have new issues with everyone?
Hold up, I'm done.
Wanted to be the new role model
I'm a survive
Because my love ain't alive
Tell me that makes sense so you can pretend I'm actually okay
Oh wait that hasn't ever happend
I be to busy caring
With a decorating heart I'm still sharing
Loud music blaring
So nobody can hear me scream
Am I in a dream
Hush
I'm just thinking
Hmmm i need a bottle so these suicidal voices stop making my thoughts shrinking
How do I get far
When all the past catches me
I'm truly alone in this ****** up reality
I raised the younglings
Because my family taught me what no to do
So it's something my "babies wont go through"
I'm always at my worst
Quick i need a new verse
Mom and dad loved me to hate me
But that was only temporary
I see the potential change
Now I'm reliving regrets because nobody ever loved me
I've cheated, got beated
Been cheated on, hearts gone
Always in the wrong, when I'm right
Sick of this fight
I'm in pain
Say my name
I'm not insane
I'm okay I'm okay I'm okay I'm okay
I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine
Give me something
Any subject to distract me
I've got this ******* personality
Some ******* hurt me to make them happy
So I happily let it happen
To duel the mental pain so now I'm cheering and clappin
Like fights on ***** lets go
About to black out to see how far I go
Do I have mental illness
Or is this another manipulation someone said to comfort me
Wish to one day actually be happy
I've been digging to climb
Fell to repeat the cycle again
Ready to split myself open
Nellie 55 Feb 2021
Feels like fighting more than that temptation. Ruins every good relation. It's like throwing hands with the world! Not only that, fighting back the urge to hurl. Wanting to fight everything but wanting to feel nothing. Something to get rid of this panic. Doesn't help with this global pandemic. I'll refuse you to fall apart on me, I'll try to get you back on your feet. You've got a family. We can be each others crutch, I know it isn't much. But it beats falling back into old habits. When you were in jail feeling like you're off this planet. The bad issues piled up and pain really demanded it. Honestly, I wish I could do more than being mental help. Wish I can take the storm so you can have some better health. It was you that can look at me without a judgment. It was you who saw a reflection through my eyes. Both faced a little bit of the worse and dealt with too many goodbyes. I promise homie I'll have your back. I wouldn't want you to fall off track.
Nellie 55 Jan 2021
There you go
Off by your lonesome
Thought you'd be different
Nope that was a mistake
What's a date?
Give me a story
Ghosted once again
**** ya'll
I'm a focuse more on me
Nellie 55 Feb 2021
Call me a rug because I'm one the ground getting walked on and I'm lying. Did me ***** and no one's prying.  I want to feel okay, but I'm cold and need to get away. Had a perfect job but I lost it all. Jobless, homeless, but atleast I've got passed due bills to top it off. ****** to have to hear everyone's problems before they have the conscious to worry about mine. But no need to worry I've got thinking time. Why give advice, when they tell me the same issue the next hour or day later. I get firm and informed a redirection and I'm a hater. Before I know it that's another conflict now I need my own saver. But instead I speak truth to a paper.
Nellie 55 Feb 2020
Not a lot of you know my story
But I've been the suspect and the victim
Ask a ex, I was abusing all sorts of ****
I even took it to far for a bit
Started blacking out on purpose
Got hooked real bad
Lost all the responsibility I've once had
I've been taken for granted
Hurt others to a whole new planet
I don't deserve ****
I wanna really feel the iverdose for a bit
Nellie 55 Apr 2020
Let me tell you that I normally mean well.
One call away because I know how to get out of hell
We're all going through issues
Mockery is my personality
Not true, never meant to mock intentionally
Just trying to have a little fun
But people are sensitive and are watching a bad "habit"
Didn't mean to trigger something traumatic
Still feeling neurotic?
I'm no alcoholic
Disappointment you say?
I'm sorry, can I change your mind today?
You know I'm a fantastic human being
Escuse me for taking advantage of free time
I needed another break, and I'm a be okay.
I've got a thin line of people I trust
Sorry I hurt you
Never had a single clue
Next page