If there is a possibility I dont wanna know, not ever. I want these feelings to go. You've hurt me too close to home. Where'd life go? I dont know. I'm all alone.
It's my time to find me, because I dont recognize my own reflection.
I've got to make myself fall so I remember the old me. Get back up, on the search for self love. One day I'll be happy again. But for now I splitting flesh open. Treating myself first aid, in need of a new bandaid. Time to let the healing process begin.

Crystal clear, fame no where near. But I don't care about that I search for relationships. My personal favorite is when everyone can understand and show support so I don't feel alone. Darkness divided my insides out. Destruction destroyed me and my doubts. Pure distance from trust. With this Crystal I shall attempt to see clearly because I'm afraid to bust.

Headphones on, jamming to a song. What can go wrong. I'm a jam til the bottles gone. Albums for weeks. Good songs put a blush on my cheeks. Now I'm daydreaming. Headphones on with songs streaming. Thank you for putting up a good taste. With this moment and liquor I wouldn't waste. Going to keep my pace.

As long as if i don't suffer any more pain, I know in the longer run I'll be okay. Not like everyone will be the same. Just always a new wave. Rounds after another one, I pour some then I'm done. Lost too much before, had to start all over. Don't want this on anyone else.

I need music with the right beat. Words freely coming to my mind but I can hardly speak. About to hesitate, with a heartache, possibly about to deteriorate, I'm a contemplate, everyone's fake, not about to break, risking it all but that's  what I'm a take, didn't mean for anyone to break, give it time with a rate, musics loud this is great.
How many times will I shine, star light that's mine, doing this all the time, need a Corona with a lime, back on the grind, secretly trying to be fine, but rejoice is something I'm a find, not looking behind, I'm just too kind.
Like lately, been crazy, maybe, where's my baby,  emotionally waving, I'm saving, love craving, feelings levitating.
Dear Nel, you surprised hell, but oh well, do tell, did it burn when you fell, was it a spell, you stuck in a shell? Come on man, help me understand, I'm a fan, how'd you start off was it a crayon, hard to keep up so i ran.
What's love, looking up, high above, i won't pry nor shove, look a dove!
Impossible! unstoppable!
Forgettable, debatable, realtable?
I'm a play on the swing and let the words free, no tax fee going to let it all be. So tell me who's next to criticize me.

Sick of catching my recycled words!
**** of feeling alone!
When is it supposed to be fine?
I write, lose a fight, restart and take off for a flight!
Then I crash again! Just sick of feeling broken!

Babe take me back, been missing us and i think we should get back on track. We can eventually help each other through it. Harder on ourselves but i swear we can prove it. By the time I woke up I noticed you weren't next to me. Truly yours and meant to be. Tell me how you still feel. Am I wrong about believing because my loves real. In tears think of me replaced. I wanna come home to your beautiful face. I am sorry, i am loyal, babe I can prove my worth. I can give you everything i have to offer. Please consider me back. In love with you no joke nor a act. Darling xoxoxo a kiss, it's you I miss. I've got a wish. Please be mine

I just don't care,tears evaporate in the air. I'm A punch out, put enough time now my heads in the clouds. Storms & lightning flashing. Hungry so I'm door dashing. But lost appetite I don't need to make A flyer. Just climbing for the views so I'm A get higher. My brain storms intense but yet can't keep a thought. I think of some good but I forgot. Now times ticking but I avoid glancing at the clock. I've been told I got potential. In all honesty it started off with A pencil. I doodled on pages. But mama's homie told her im just searching for changes.that idiot said they're just phases. I just about lost my mind. I tell myself keep writing things will take time. Wish I would of been able to rewind. So I can replay my flaws to keep the success to shine. This moment will be forever mine. Page after page. Now I'm awake. Never meant to snooze now I'm A stay woke. Wish I never struggle being broke. I can only hope. Picking A field full of wishies put my sanity out of control. But I don't care what anyone thinks, working on me, this is my personality, who else is trying to be happy. If I don't have anyone to love atleast I have me. I'm not even sickening. I'm just always over thinking. I break because **** gets overwhelming. Cleaning out my truck to sleep, cup of noodles to eat, hot tea to drink. Below zero outside but I learned how to chill and sleep. I don't care because I'll always have me.

Summers filled with fires and cold beverages,
Sitting next to the heat laughing and singing songs. Hoodie and jeans to keep the mosquitoes bite less. Sky filled with beauty might lay here and rest. Summer songs got my attention tonight, love that everyone is pretty chill it just feels so right.
Stories shared, surrounded by people who care. This is unforgettable, tonight ain't so terrible.

He's writes out his feelings realizes the empty holes in his chest. Working for improvement when really it's another distraction to keep busy. Forgets to keep a conversation, what a blank situation. How many likes before I realize I'm more me, is this ugly? Had some dreams thinking it was real and felt at peace. Woke up and felt so lonely. No one by my side, just a false hope. Always so broke.
One day I'll get there. Will someone actually be there? Need some love, need something real. Get me to the top I climb slowly. I know I can make it without help but I prefer company.

In the light of the you, Darkened the light of you. Paralyzed me! Eyes drowning, But I didn't have you I found me.
Every flower died! Just like my eyes it all dried. I've fallen but I picked myself up,
The guts spilling my instincts. Watching everything sink. No life jacket just me alone shredding to shore. Alcohol flooding my lungs so I got up for more. I'm doing just fine now. I've fallen with the right crowd. Global crisis never left my world. But I continue to rotate this time with no girl. What else do I need to say? I've always found away. Wouldn't mess up again. I think I was more broken. But now my veins stay closed with my heart open.

Attention lacks, blank selfies fills my snaps. Notifications about to go off. Creativity is rare, real talk is no longer there.
Stories filled with music videos, or hypocritical drama. Or the ones whom add you but leave you on read. All though the stories they have are like a hour long. Where has snapchat gone wrong? Then comes the people that come talking to you with they're issues. All of the sudden they miss you! I sit and attempt to entertain snapchat, then I get boring responses. Is there even a point in adding me I don't know. I should probably go back to ghost mode. Maybe that's why snapchat has a ghost mascot. We snap then pretend we forgot. Then I get the same selfie that's already on the story. So creative right?