I've attempted dating, all these matches are just girls faking. I lied and said I don't believe ghost. But little did I know they disappeared. I went home to crack a beer. Dating sites are not worthy due to fakes and premium hoes. where does the right one glow?
so I've had some conversations, got left in read or got randomly blocked. I guess they didn't like what they saw when they stalked. My ex found a relationship right away, a ring already and she begged him to stay. I'm here losing weight. attempting to be great.
I've lost the motivation to be honest. No one deserves me, I'm trying to be happy. Now I'm paying for sites just to be back at square one. Dating has been a a bad attempt so I'm done.

I've been calling, falling, bawling, crawling, honestly any dramatic way to reach a reassurance from you. Tell me a story how you lost interest in me. Bitter sweet me up with a tough check. Either way I'm paying closer attention for me. I've received strength from lack of help. Fought my way out of hell. Tested the bridges I've built with people I genuinely love. Am I to fall again to drown in these eyes? I hear the same excuses.
"You're not like the other guys"
"I need a best friend right now"
"You're too far, wouldn't work"
I can go on all day but here's what usually hurts the most.
I'm chasing a ghost.
You've successfully raised my spirits to drown them with strung along finger I've been wrapped around.

I run my own world ***** off everybody
No need for the toxicity because this song speaks to me softly. When is the right time? I'm a turn the lights off to **** that shine. Stars die too, I'm not about to lose. Life goes dim before it dies. I get ghosted and get filled with lies. That's okay I stay busy. Subliminal hints directed towards me. I'm a work some overtime to bring back my shine. Sporadically between feels and jobs I may need a break. Not about to be letting this heartache. I'm perfectly fine because I'm a learn. My tears changed into sweat. Bout to ear my success. This won't be a regret. It's like flirting with reality and I'm play karma roulette.

One minute you love and adore me
Wait why are you ignoring me
Now why are you holding it against me
Is this our reality
Calm down you don't mean those words
Stop doing that stuff you don't want to do those things with stranger again
They let you down and I'm crying disappointed
You then have me hold you then you say you love me
Then you're back to ignoring me
It's all going impulsively

Ashley, oh my dear sweet Ashley.
How I miss you ever so much my dear.
The snaps, text, and even calls that use to save me and you knew well and clear
Do I ever miss your compliments and your son sending me love
I miss you baby
I still love you my honey

Why me and why my old friend?
I now know I'm not special and my chest is torn open.
I thought you were crazy about me
You tell me your angry because of jealousy.
But you hid it from me
And now there's a new guy for "hikes"
and now a few movies.
**** man I feel betrayed,
But it doesn't matter to you because we're not "together"
But you're allowed to be jealous and angry

A guilty pleasure, a beautiful sin. A pick of poison.
Moment of weakness
A moment of celebration
Call it old fashion, but I like a smooth chill drink.

I've got my hope hanging by a strand, anyone truly understand? If you do, you better take my hand. I'm letting my emotions being *******, I better hang. All this relates I'm going insane. My hope is like thin ice. Each step something has to crack, whatever happens I'll be sure to collect knives in my back. Hope hanging by the strand, I need a hand. My hope is hanging byba string, but that's technically a strand. As the hope I once had, the rope was once tide tight. The love took me up, the hate dragged me back down like and anchor. I need some paper, some help me oh wait you need a favor. The hell out here, we all need to stick together no fear

I ain't trying to compete. But you want to get your *** beat. Maybe you shouldn't talk **** now you don't speak. Bet you're ******* weak.
Don't try to test me kid. Hearing you talk makes me sick. Sick of the games but I can still slay. Start something you can't finish will out you in debt but I know you can't pay
Last time I checked you came to me for help. Then you ghost me like I'm nothing. How funny, how silly. Now I'm ready to throw hands don't need no homies.

I've got 4 by 4s ready to treat you like you do to your ******. Six feet deep, decay below my feet. You won't even have a wake. I'm a be  at your funeral paying my disrespects. You and your poor choice of reality checks.

Memories taking control of how I think, I'm having difficulties making a decision. There's comfort with these tears creeping down my face. Use to go to bed paranoid because I never had my own place. I guess you can call it homelessness, I always felt so homeless. Depression my number one rival. I'm fight for survival. Threw me enemies like doubt and anger. Regrets filled me with anxiety now I'm a one man army.
These insecurities won't leave me alone, I'm laying down screaming to my health! After I settle down I began counting my flaws, how could I have done this to myself?
Has anyone cried in the car with the music loud, get out and play it off? Act like everything's okay. Please tell me I'm not the only one! With this survival I'm barely holding on. Rivalry has me paranoid all the time! Give me peace because I'd like that to be mine.
Why do I have to battle the rival?
This feels so awful!
I've been the one to sit in a corner letting the silence numb my hearing. Disappointment is something Everyone's fearing.
Drop some pills or some alcohol and chill out. We're in a igloo chilling. Alcohol consumption and insecurities consuming!
How about we have a meeting and just talk about it, about to take a minute for the speech. We're all struggling and on a search for some peace.

I watch the sky set, as I'm gazing upon
I've notice how peaceful the sky sleeps
World full of surprises. Little cold, pretty happy. Birds singing, I'm daydreaming. Trees greeting me, stars gazing down on me. This is perfect.

I'll be the only one standing, don't **** with me because I've got a temper. I can be unstoppable. I use to be a *******, you winning would be impossible. I don't take kindly when anyone ***** with a homie.
You got hands? Show me? I dare you, I'll be the last one standing how do you wanna lose? Unstoppable, me losing is impossible.
Try me!

Slow life down, ready to consume to settle down. Apple crown, about to drown. Watch my tolerance build itself. Time to enjoy the bad health. I'm drinking tonight, not talking on the phone because it's my life. Not caring tonight.
This is why we shouldn't talk. Easily triggered and offended to top it off. About ready to get a new number so I dont get the confidence to block. I'm an adult, I make my own choices dont really care what's at fault. I'm just enjoying life a bit, sloppy words I spit.
Criticism and disappointment! Oh well, not my priority. Dont care about seniority. This is the real me, can't handle it there's the exit. Not about to quit. I dont want to have to mask myself everytime something offends someone. I'd much rather be done. I know my real homies and that's all that matters to me. Cheers because it's time to be happy.

The way love tortured me, I was still fighting and it still made me happy. Gave in to go out and drink. Hate me, love me, *** with me. All that work to feel nothing. But I was still feeling something. She'd move on, false hope got me wrong. I'd black out on purpose to not feel it. Last night I was the dumbest and that's something I strongly admit. It's a shame I don't remember it.
Been a couple years now, been over a year since I moved out. Dating tough, being attractive is rough. I get ignored a lot, regret that I ever fought. Sleep deprived again eyes going blood shot. What was going on today? I forgot.
One day I'll be appreciated as far as I know. I've got real homies by my side and it shows.
I'm a change because I reread some of my messages. Life's tough and I get it.
She's not worth it bub, calm down and hush.
She won't speak up. Won't even make time for you. Now you're to drop it all. **** it don't need another drunk call.