Attention lacks, blank selfies fills my snaps. Notifications about to go off. Creativity is rare, real talk is no longer there.
Stories filled with music videos, or hypocritical drama. Or the ones whom add you but leave you on read. All though the stories they have are like a hour long. Where has snapchat gone wrong? Then comes the people that come talking to you with they're issues. All of the sudden they miss you! I sit and attempt to entertain snapchat, then I get boring responses. Is there even a point in adding me I don't know. I should probably go back to ghost mode. Maybe that's why snapchat has a ghost mascot. We snap then pretend we forgot. Then I get the same selfie that's already on the story. So creative right?

Crystal clear, fame no where near. But I don't care about that I search for relationships. My personal favorite is when everyone can understand and show support so I don't feel alone. Darkness divided my insides out. Destruction destroyed me and my doubts. Pure distance from trust. With this Crystal I shall attempt to see clearly because I'm afraid to bust.

As long as if i don't suffer any more pain, I know in the longer run I'll be okay. Not like everyone will be the same. Just always a new wave. Rounds after another one, I pour some then I'm done. Lost too much before, had to start all over. Don't want this on anyone else.

I'm mentaly feeling the pain, wrong motivation drives me insane. I look at myself and see failures. No ones hates me as much as I hate myself. Always joking, sinking potential so I'm not floating. I plead, try to succeed, tempted to bleed, why is this happening to me? Felt so ugly, leave me be.
The world goes against me. I've lost confidence but gained the weight. I'm told it's never too late. But mentally I break.

Every one knows me, we're all attempting to be happy. Take the judgments away because I guarantee I'll be scrapping. Happens so fast you wouldn't know what's happening. Woke up ready for a drink, fell asleep with a drink. Alcoholics need a drink, well i have a drink. I'm supposed to please everyone?
(The ****) well I with the Hollar Boys and don't have time to be frowned upon. Drink the keg and cases til it's gone. Music loud, keg stands and laughing out loud. Ain't know one here playing with me, I'm real and got more faces to see. We're all buzzin, drinking by the keg by the dozen. Have we met before? Nah lil homie thats fake don't show anymore.

I pull up with drinks, miss the way I use to feel. Independently I'm a deal. I miss the touch, miss snuggles too much. Miss the way I would secure that comfort, compliments with a flirt.  Wouldn't let them drown upon the shore, palms up waving hoping it wouldn't happen any more. I know I can do it Independently but I don't want to. Miss the love climbing up for the view. Now I pry myself asking me what do I do! Someone save me, it's not ever "meant to be"

Headphones on and I'm putting it on shuffle, some songs helping me through some trouble. Playlist increases as I sing to myself. Therapeutic no need for help. Headphones through a workout, through a uncomfortable crowd. I lip sing because this is nice and loud. The best feeling as goosebumps crawl in my skin. Like a mental live performance on my life in these songs, what can really go wrong?

Laying in a field of dandelions, buzzin like a bee. Phones off leave me be. No one I want to see. Out here in the peace, ready to think. Ready for a late night breeze.
All I can do is watch the sky darken.

Memories taking control of how I think, I'm having difficulties making a decision. There's comfort with these tears creeping down my face. Use to go to bed paranoid because I never had my own place. I guess you can call it homelessness, I always felt so homeless. Depression my number one rival. I'm fight for survival. Threw me enemies like doubt and anger. Regrets filled me with anxiety now I'm a one man army.
These insecurities won't leave me alone, I'm laying down screaming to my health! After I settle down I began counting my flaws, how could I have done this to myself?
Has anyone cried in the car with the music loud, get out and play it off? Act like everything's okay. Please tell me I'm not the only one! With this survival I'm barely holding on. Rivalry has me paranoid all the time! Give me peace because I'd like that to be mine.
Why do I have to battle the rival?
This feels so awful!
I've been the one to sit in a corner letting the silence numb my hearing. Disappointment is something Everyone's fearing.
Drop some pills or some alcohol and chill out. We're in a igloo chilling. Alcohol consumption and insecurities consuming!
How about we have a meeting and just talk about it, about to take a minute for the speech. We're all struggling and on a search for some peace.

Summers filled with fires and cold beverages,
Sitting next to the heat laughing and singing songs. Hoodie and jeans to keep the mosquitoes bite less. Sky filled with beauty might lay here and rest. Summer songs got my attention tonight, love that everyone is pretty chill it just feels so right.
Stories shared, surrounded by people who care. This is unforgettable, tonight ain't so terrible.

In the light of the you, Darkened the light of you. Paralyzed me! Eyes drowning, But I didn't have you I found me.
Every flower died! Just like my eyes it all dried. I've fallen but I picked myself up,
The guts spilling my instincts. Watching everything sink. No life jacket just me alone shredding to shore. Alcohol flooding my lungs so I got up for more. I'm doing just fine now. I've fallen with the right crowd. Global crisis never left my world. But I continue to rotate this time with no girl. What else do I need to say? I've always found away. Wouldn't mess up again. I think I was more broken. But now my veins stay closed with my heart open.

eyes blood shot, happiness is something long forgot. Always losing train of thought. Pills in one hand, alcohol in the other. Razors by my side, depression winning and taking over. Why is it impossible to stay sober. I dreamt of love and woke up broken. Pillshot returned and half tempted to split these veins open.
I've got pills for days, emotionally confused by these waves. Shredding the shore, no life support. Floating but yet still drowning. Pills flooding my throat, liquor making new waves. I swear there isn't a vacation away from the dark. Just dimness surrounding the world. Options limited, wished for the best and got the worse. Suffocating slowly as the love deteriorate. Pill the trigger and poor me a shot.

He's writes out his feelings realizes the empty holes in his chest. Working for improvement when really it's another distraction to keep busy. Forgets to keep a conversation, what a blank situation. How many likes before I realize I'm more me, is this ugly? Had some dreams thinking it was real and felt at peace. Woke up and felt so lonely. No one by my side, just a false hope. Always so broke.
One day I'll get there. Will someone actually be there? Need some love, need something real. Get me to the top I climb slowly. I know I can make it without help but I prefer company.

I watch the sky set, as I'm gazing upon
I've notice how peaceful the sky sleeps
World full of surprises. Little cold, pretty happy. Birds singing, I'm daydreaming. Trees greeting me, stars gazing down on me. This is perfect.

You're going to tell me that I'm a known bad guy for eternity. All because I've cheated in the past, here's a lesson.  Younger relations are known to have knives in your back. Heartache, heartbreak, risks to take. I can't count how many relationships I've ******* up. But that's the true definition of tough love. I've got future lessons to learn. Treat everyone like it's my last one not about to burn. Cheaters learn, commitment hurts. That's the way it'll always be. For the rest of eternity.
Relationships so complete, some toxics will disagree. Others try to compete. I'm on a search and there's plenty of fish out at sea.
couples with matching sealfies. Toxic relationships filled with some counseling. What are relationships without passwords?
Lack of trust and real worth.

Slow life down, ready to consume to settle down. Apple crown, about to drown. Watch my tolerance build itself. Time to enjoy the bad health. I'm drinking tonight, not talking on the phone because it's my life. Not caring tonight.
This is why we shouldn't talk. Easily triggered and offended to top it off. About ready to get a new number so I dont get the confidence to block. I'm an adult, I make my own choices dont really care what's at fault. I'm just enjoying life a bit, sloppy words I spit.
Criticism and disappointment! Oh well, not my priority. Dont care about seniority. This is the real me, can't handle it there's the exit. Not about to quit. I dont want to have to mask myself everytime something offends someone. I'd much rather be done. I know my real homies and that's all that matters to me. Cheers because it's time to be happy.