I'm sick of being used
I'm not some toy to pick up
And when something shiny comes along
To discard in a decrepit box of dust
It's not right
I deserve someone as much as you do
Except you have many choices
And I do as well
So why time and time again
Do I bother choosing you
When I could have someone else
Someone who accepts me also
Why should I change to become more like you
When I'm not even wanted just there by luck

I'm so sorry for what I'm about to do
But I can't stand the pretence anymore
For I know if it carries on too long
We shall both be caught in fabrications
Of the reality we belong in
And I need help because I care for you  still
But not in the way I'm expected to
I'm too bittersweet for this sort of thing
And you're too withdrawn and doting
So that's why it has to end
Right  now ,before I'm torn further

I want to play a game with you
One where I always win
But never feel or love
I want to reach out and entice you
Grab your shirt and pull you in
I'll make it strong and you'll make it sweet
But I will never wait around
To see how good the ending could be
I'm going to hurt you
But I don't care
Because well that's what I do best
It's what I achieve in
I want to apologise for my abrupt behaviour
But that would shatter
The carefully strung illusion
I'm going to leave you
And you already know it
So why hold on when it could snap anytime
The reason is always the same
You don't love me
You love the games I play

Glittering beads stream down my face
And I don't even know if they are mine
For the sky is spilling them
But then so are my eyes
They cascade across my hollow cheeks
Leaving a glistening trail
And I dare touch one
It rolls onto my palm
Testing out the rugged skin
On which it has been placed
Then trickles down my arm
One slides through my mouth
Another slicks down my hair
And a jeweled sphere flutters on my scuffed shoes
I look up to the sky and let the rain envelop me
Like a barrier between me and all harm
It washes away the flaws and the mud
And the sweat and the sorrow
Till all that is left is my exposed soul
And I am free

In a field full of dandelions
It's full of possibilities
In one breath
That whistled across the grass
Passing between chapped lips
It's plucked from the soil
Chosen for a feat of beauty
Then it is scattered

I may speak another language
But I still know what you're saying
The words reverberate across your mouth
And play upon your tongue
You may read trite books with drawn out words
But I read raw emotions
As they swell over your body
I see the way you snarl
When you let out a torrent of torment
And cruel words meant for humor
I can tell you it isn't a pretty face
But in actual fact I can't tell you
Because I don't speak your messed up language

I get that buzz when I see your name
I get excited to see you
I worry I don't deserve you
I worry that I'm too emotional for you

I think that I fully understand you
I think our relationship is flustered and dysfunctional
I know that I love you
I know that I know nothing about this kind of thing

I wish I could always be there for you
I wish that you will never discard me
I want laughter and fun
I want us