I think I love you
But is that good enough
Am I in too deep to back out
Because I feel trapped
I feel like a fake
Or maybe this was the only time I was real
I want to meet up and catch up
Or do I want to say been there done that
Am I using you
Because right now *I think I love you
But will it be true on the morrow

I'm shielded in a group
Not from anyone in particular
Just a group
Shielded by hope ,innocence
And sweet ignorance
But I know more than what you think
Even when I pull back from things
I am a spectator
And I know what's going on
But I am still hoping it will get better
Keeping my innocence and not becoming part of it
And using my sweet ignorance to overlook it

Unexpected chinks of sunlight
Drain through the corrugated iron
Dripping off my shoulders
Washing away the tears and pain
But I wonder
Did they even exist
Or were the droplets of crystals from my eyes
A shadow passing over
My unexpected chinks of sunlight

Should I hate you?
With mind so opposing to mine
But in that frame
Captured by that camera
We are so close
We laugh together
We breathe in the scent of dewy grass
People think I use you
People think you use me
They have no idea
Because I still know you better

I was worn down
I opened up and confided in you
Admired you even
But I didn't really did I
I only wanted what you had
What I thought I needed so badly
Now I have it and more
But it's so unexpected
So inexplicable
I've moved on from it now
But you're still a constant reminder of something
Something I never should have wanted
And I want to go right back to what I didn't have
To where I was before
I had trust, respect ,laughter and I was honest
Now I am you

You smile across the room
And it's not aimed for me
But then I see those dimples
Glowing with the embers of your gaze
And I know I will come back to you
No matter what
In hopes to obtain your affection and attention
And feelings I only wish I still caught in my grasp

One minute you are with me
And I fall for it again
Then you turn on me with anger
And I scrape to find dignity again
Even though it's a fulmination
And I don't understand
I relive with recreation
Waiting for those moments when we walk hand in hand