I.
You know
some days
I am that person
gasping
begging
pleading

II.
And others
I am the one
to hold them tight
and say
"Stuff is going to be okay."

I.
There has come a point
in which
it is not who I would die for

II.
It is
who I would keep living for.

I.
Not yet,
am I seventeen.

II.
When I was five or six
I imagined a world in which
my first kiss was on my sixteenth birthday
and I was wearing a pink dress.

III.
I had my first kiss when I was fourteen,
in plaid pajama bottoms
and a loose top.

IV.
When I was seven or eight
I imagined a world in which
I was a vet tech
with my hair in a bun.

V.
I am in a world
where vet school
is not interesting.

VI.
My hair
will never be long enough
for a bun.

VII.
"Be the person you needed
when you were younger"
I would have balked,
and disagreed,
I know.

VIII.
If I could see a picture of me now
when I was little
I would laugh
and never believe a word about
how I hated my *******
my hips
my voice.

IX.
I would have never believed a word of how
I'd fall in love with a girl
who was sad as night
and made me as happy
as the sun.

X.
And I never would have believed
that I would love that little girl
who had grown into a man.

I.
It's one day into the semester
and they have already
assigned something
I cannot do.

II.
I'm sorry I need clear instructions,
like which format to use.
I'm sorry I need clear directions,
like how many sources are required.
Not "A Fair Amount"

III.
Maybe I'm just too stupid to
be here in school.
Maybe that's it.

I.
Shut you're
beautiful
grinning mouth.

II.
Stop being so
hilarious
and stop taking such
good care of me.

III.
You're like
the prize
and I'm the
loser.

I.
Hush
twelve times
and begin again
my dear.

II.
You are worth
only more
and more.

I.
America
the home of the free
and the land of the brave.

II.
That may well be.

III.
But the free
and the brave
are not the same people.

I.
For
hell's sake
let me caress those fingers
and arms,
the ones you can't abide.

II.
They're so
good
they hug so strong and
they hold so well.

III.
You've written on them
these
remnants of
pain,
and it hurts to see.

I.
He is
one of my absolute
favorite humans.

II.
He is
so strong and
funny and
wonderful.

III.
He says he wants to
hurt himself
again.

IV.
What can one even argue,
besides
"Don't hurt someone
I love
so much."