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When she brushed his hand aside, he had to think;

to search the heart, adrift in the body,
to find a way that would make things clear,
but all that came was a breath of air
,
and it carried with it some words,
 spoken with resignation,
that spelled a plea:
  
   “don’t make me beg”, he said.

Half a world away, a man rested beside a woman.

she looked up at him and brushed his hand
 along her breast.

when it came to rest, at last
, along a thigh and probed between,

she brushed his hand aside, and breathed

a breath of air that said,
 “don’t…”
a moment passed, maybe three.


make me beg…”, she whispered.

20 September 2013
A look at the difference a humble comma can make and ****** ******* in the complete absence of physical restraint.
read here by the author:
https://soundcloud.com/warmphase/dont-make-me-beg
Here was a human animal, most kind,
With a sword for the heart of kindness,
Any that came from a place of deceit.
Are you true to yourself?  
Say, or no, and be quick.

If she told you she cared, or not at all,
Then you had good cause to believe,
That she meant it- every word unspoken,
Or none, as the case may be...

The world built a challenge,
In pretense and sloth.
She gave it the finger and
Bang-  Took the day.
If the night was a struggle, she never did show it,
She made it look easy anyway.

She appeared in the masks we all have to wear.
A voice from behind spoke at last.
Speaking grace through atrocity, reliance on self,
And she never once spoke of the past.

This most human animal, in touch with the world,
Most kind in the offing, decay for the wood,
Preserving a cycle, flesh beetles contented,
That life destroys, as well, to create.

So the life that relentlessly comes, now must go.
I can’t tell you a thing,
You don’t already know.
a meandering through themes on my mind these days, personified into a composite.  Wisdom comes from experience, cumulative collisions and recovery from adversity.  Here, the original idea was to describe a soul who manages to do great good through great harm.  Long way to go, but I wanted to release this into the wild, see if it had wings on it's own.  Not a theme to be wrapped up in one day.
the bass and horn and drums blare
all in a sudden wave of noise that ebbs
and flows
washing over the barbican center in resounding and quieting washes of color
and sound and music and flavor and passion and life
and reverberating through my bones
the geeks and nerds around me get up to retreat from the music or else head closer
the ones in front of the band whoop and shout
as the guy by the mike announces unintelligibly
perhaps the song and band
but will anyone remember once the passion and music is over?
no matter
all i care about right now is the faint sushi like taste in my mouth, of cucumbers and tuna, from my sandwich
and the disappearing,
fading buzz from the back of my plastic seat
as the music and the noise from the band
ever so slowly
quickly
dies
9.8.14
wow its been a while since ive written, but i got a sudden burst of inspiration from the band playing here
its lunchtime in london and wikimania is exciting
hopefully more poetry will spill out soon
some days

some days i wake up
feeling warm and lovely and happy
feeling whole and right in who i am and what i appear to be

some days i go to bed
barely holding my eyes open against the weight of dreams
barely staying in reality a moment longer

some days i want to create
a dream of imagines on paper
and spill the ink of my mind out onto the world,
eagerly showing the creations of my mind and what excites me as far as
what i can imagine and bring out of the ethereal into the only slightly more tangible inner chambers of my mind palace

other days
i want to destroy
to tear, end to end, the world i have created in my mind and every piece of it i have brought into existence
to shred myself to pieces to rid the universe of such and inadequate creature as myself who dares feel more comfortable as a fluid being, more free to explore and weave in and out of the norms set by society

and then i fall, weak and hollow, to my knees,
full of life and brightness that has been pressed to aside by the gaping holes of heaving singularities within my gut and soul
and i feel dark
and wrong
and numb

but then every so often i get a spark of light in the inky dark of me

and it flutters close

circling my form slowly and giving out the slightest bit of light and warmth

sometimes this first Good Thought or Good Feeling will be crushed
snatched from the air in the claws of a demonic and wild gargoyle

but even so, one by one the light spots will gently blanket the gargoyles,
forcing them to lie in wait once more

for who can fight the gentle persistence of a butterfly
8.9.14
hopefully i feel a bit better and less dysphoric soon; im not quite so fond of fighting these clawed gargoyles

8.21.14
my dragon (and his butterflies) are hugely helpful to me, especially in that he's saved my life before and continues to help me through all sorts of anxiety and gender dysphoria, though I know it isn't easy for him either. this is my way of thanking him for the beautifully patient love and comfort he offers me
Take these words and hold them dear
as proof that once I lingered here
within these hallowed written walls
that speak the fate of one and all.

Do not mourn me when I'm gone
heal your heart and carry on.
In sorrow ne'er my heart did dwell
for I was blessed to know you well.

Place no flowers, lay no stone
for barren earth is not my home
no marker there to bare my name
no mourners heads bowed deep in shame.

Shed a solitary tear,
then walk in light and never fear
as darkness creeps across the land
I will be there to hold your hand.
I am so stupid
to love you
but
I love my stupidity
and
will always
Cherish it
I'm stupid and may be that's the reason that you don't love me. .....
 Aug 2014 mybarefootdrive
lX0st
I wish I could describe love;
Give it a definition
Or some understanding,
But I am so young
And so confused
And all that I know is
My chest hurts
When I think of your voice
And my lips go numb
When I spit your name
And the emptiness hits harder
Than any liquor I drink
And I just can't come up with
A way to define
My state of being.
Yet another annoying poem about how you've ruined everything.
 Aug 2014 mybarefootdrive
ARI
You fell for the girl
with a travelers heart
who's eyes mimic
the worlds most vibrant art.

You loved the girl
with marks on her skin
like permanent kisses
from the places she's been.

You held the girl
with songs in her soul
which she learned from experiences
you'll never know.

You were angered by the girl
who left you alone
'cause the need for adventure
was etched in her bones.

-ARI
 Aug 2014 mybarefootdrive
Noder
i sometimes wish there was a war coming
it is selfish
it is foolish
but that's what i long for

i wish there was a war coming
so i wouldn't have to study
i wouldn't have to work
i wouldn't have to love

i wish there was a war coming
so there would only be worry
so there would only be hushed voices
silent stares in the night
and death and selfless sacrifice

i wish there was a war coming
so i could flee or fight
i could be a hero, a coward
i could be honest at last

i wish there was a war coming
so peace could settle to my heart.
Sometimes only big things can make small worries go away.
 Aug 2014 mybarefootdrive
L Marie
"Stop, don't feel that," I think sharply;
As though I can control mind and
Heart-what a joke, it's like catching
Salt from a pile of sprinkled sand.
"I'm in love," I snide from within,
Yet the pressure boils steady
And I can't help but yearn in such
Overweighing, cold agony.
"Don't look"- my eyes dart straight to him
While the guilt overflows my chest,
Setting the butterflies ablaze,
A raging fire in this mess
That I created at first sight.
"He isn't anything you like,"
I try but I know it'll fail;
It's true but this attraction's spike
Still cuts through like a sharpened blade.
"You love him more and he loves her",
Despite the honesty it held,
The reality was ******.
He has his troubles with his love
And although feelings might be on
One side, this emotion can't be
Shaken; innocence has foregone.
Two options remain: wait and see
Or shut my eyes and feel it bleed.
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