I wish i could do what you wish
I really do
I'm desperately sorry
I can't help it
Leave me alone
ED's in control
This isn't your little girl
It's ED who has
****** me in
Never letting go
Go away

Rules, rules, rules
Counting calories
Counting seconds
Minutes left to run
Bites to eat
Hold my mouth closed
From food
Of all things
Not allowed
Not allowed a lot of things
There's demons, demons
In my brain
Evil, all evil
Surrounding me
Locking me in a cage
Of silence and isolation

People surround me
Content with the people
I've encountered
These people who i can say
Now are friends
Knowing that i have human interaction
Keeps me calm
Keeps me still
Keeps me from drowning
In isolation

No one can change
The connection we had
I feel guilty
I didn't say i love you
Before your body
Turned to ash
I want you to know
I love for eternity
I always do
I always will

Thoughts running through my mind
Body checking
Standing
Looking at my grotesquely
Obese figure staring back at me
Crying at my revolting body

Internal war
In my mind
All day
Every day
Have to obey ED
Or something bad will happen
Orders to obey
Numbers to calculate
Miles to run
Food to either throw away
Or scarf down
In a certain amount of time
Have to obey him
Can't risk
Something terrible happening
Way easier
To give in

Ana's in my head
Raging at my rational mind
Fighting a world war 3
About to explode
In my brain
Thoughts please go away
I can't stand each day
With you by my side