two lips rings on the side of his lip
he would play with them with his straight
white teeth when he was nervous or feeling
risqué

he had them so for as long as he could remember
they became apart of his personality
but i don't think metal rings
could be a trait

but to him, that's what made him... him

besides the liquor and cigarettes
the guitars and midnight lustful
*** in motel rooms

he tasted like tobacco and liquor
if i concentrate hard enough
my tongue will take me back
to the familiar taste

he didn't like his curls
so he would straighten his hair
it's not rock and roll!
he would always tell me

you see, the metal rings on the side of his lip were the first thing i ever noticed about him
and those same exact rings were the last thing i tasted before he disappeared

drinking hot peppermint mochas in the hot shower because i've learned i love the way the boiling liquid goes down my throat while the water droplets from the shower go down my spine at the same time

it reminds me of the days i slept next to you and you would trace shapes on my spine and lower back
while i drank hot chocolate

i guess even when things change
i still find a way to find familiarity

i like change and always seem to be a different person than when you last saw me

blue hair and pale skin
turns into brown hair and tanned skin
while my eyeliner is no longer big and bold
but small and thin

i'm always changing and i don't know who i'll be next, but i know it wont last long

you told me you can't keep up with my pace
and i told you no one could
yet you still tried to follow me like a lost puppy
looking for a home

you told me i was your home
but i don't see how a broken vacant lot
could ever be home

i could never be someone's safe haven
i could never be someone's fairy tale when i'm living a brother's grimm book

so i'll keep changing my hair
the way i dress
my makeup
and the way i talk

because that's when i feel i have the most control.

cut me with the petals of your favorite flower
let your fingers glide gently on my skin and carve the letters of your name into my flesh

drench me in your favorite perfume so it becomes my permanent scent
the one you adore and look forward to when you see me

there's blood staining my teeth and gums
i wipe it off and it stains my chin
but you still think i'm beautiful

so cut me with the flower petals
and drench me in your favorite perfume
while you wash the blood out of mouth
and carve your name into my flesh

because i finally want to be the one you adore.

they say eyes are windows to our souls
so why hasn't anyone seen the beauty within mine?

and this is when i learned being alone is safer than being with you
your knuckles are bruised and wrapped in ace bandages
you told me you just had a bad night and it'll all be fine in the morning

but the bad nights just kept coming
the ace bandages never unwrapped from
your hand but you swore the light at the end of the tunnel was getting closer and closer

i don't think your dollars held together by a rubber band and smooth lies are going to save you this time

you can't keep avoiding the problem and expect it to be fixed and solved by itself
it doesn't work that way

once something goes wrong, you immediately flee and never look back
until you do and the problem comes back
but you're too much of a coward with too much pride that you can't even see it in front of you anymore

i hope my voice rings loudly in your ears telling you that you need to get your **** together and stop living in a make believe world

one day you will realize that not everyone is going to fall down on their knees for you

and it'll be a huge wake up call.

we lit the flower petals on
fire because we wanted to destroy something beautiful

i didn't know i was beautiful
until you destroyed me.