Dear diary;
I have always felt
like an inconvenience.
Perhaps that is why I flee
before I am made
aware of it.

Though I am lost,
I am still trying to find
my way back to who I was.
I am still out there,
somewhere,
and I believe he too is trying
to find his way back to me.

One day you said
your last goodbye
and we turned away.
We just disappeared
from each other's world
and that was that.

12365 kilometres,
an ocean and two countries apart-
it may as well be another galaxy,
yet I can feel the warmth of
your smile radiate from
across the globe and I can
still sing along to your heartbeat.
With all this distance,
we are never really alone
when our love
transcends all.

Dear diary;
I am still learning to
let go of that of which I
have no control over or that
remains in the past.
Some days are harder than others
to accept things the way they are
and not the way I had hoped
they could be.

My life is a mess
but so are
you.

I overdosed
on love
and found a detox
in lust.

It's true that I can't
see you anymore but I
still can't forget you

5:24 PM
25/2/25

Sometimes,
we all feel a little lost-
lost in a void-
a prisoner of silence.
So come lay with me
here in the darkness,
in silence.
Perhaps we can bring
a little light to
each other's world.

Depressed and
spiraling into
darkness.
I am calling out
for help but I
am in far too
deep now.

To stay like this,
forever far away, silent
and unknown to your heart
is something I hope will
not burden me for the
rest of my life.

"You don't seem quite yourself."
you used to say to me.
You never really did understand
that there is more than one
who inhabit this body
and that you only
loved one of them.

sometimes time is the
only remedy for a
little broken heart

8:28 PM
26/12/19

I am not heartbroken
by your lack of faith,
but by your denial
of what we held sacred.

If I lived in a
vast gingerbread house, I would
have built it with you

11:40 PM
5/12/21

you are a sunflower that
coats this ground in petals.
They form a path for me to follow,
a path that will always bring me
back to you.

Her heart is a country
foreign to me.
I am just a traveler
admiring its beauty
in all its culture and
history.

I close my eyes and
my mind gives itself to you
like the a sunflower to the sun.
You planted your seeds
inside this heart,
only for a garden to grow
over this wasteland of a soul.

Isn't it ironic how
heartbreak can make you
push people away when all
you want is love.

You made me dependent
and now I hate myself for
ever letting it get
to this point.

I have met
so many hearts and
let go of so many more.
Each one I remember-
I cherish them all so much
that every now and again,
I can't help but shed a tear.

December trudged
after November looking haggard
After carrying another year on its back.
As if that was not enough,
we burden December with our
expectations and hopes
of a miracle.

It's 2 am
and I'm searching
every corner,
every street,
and every inch-
but even in darkness,
I cannot find light.

I now know that
I cannot live without love,
but love alone is not enough
to vanquish these demons.
They are not so easily repelled by love alone,
in fact they are not satisfied
by anything at all.
They feed on the darkness
and in this emptiness,
they make their home.

You are only
torturing yourself
when trying to guess
what would have happened.
The past has happened,
and no amount of
thought will
change that.

The only thing we
should depend on is ourselves.
Everyone else is just an illusion-
do not fall for it.
So live life your way-
there is no other way.

If not for the you I used to know
I would have thought you
to be a monster.

Isn't it funny how
the days, weeks, months
never seem to change,
but looking back,
the years never
feel the same?

To this day,
I can still sense you
in every sunray and
all its warmth you have shared
with the world.
Daughter of the sun,
it is with your light
this world doesn't seem so cold
so for the sake of humanity,
don't you take that away.

Dear diary;
Sometimes,
I let myself give in to the
hope of holding
you again one day.
False hope, maybe,
but it's the only thing that
gets me through
nights like these.

She was
ninety-nine percent angel,
but oh,
that other one percent
****** me
up.

You got used to the
shadows and solitude
where you always felt
most at home.

Nobody wants to
be sad but we're human and
no one's free of it

9:32 AM
19/8/23

We are just
ordinary poets in
an extraordinary world.
We have no fancy words nor meter-
what sets us all apart are our stories
and no one can take that
away from you.

Most people will never know
the burdens you carry,
all the demons,
all the sleepless nights,
and all the love and loss along the way.
They will never know
the hidden strength it took you
to get out of bed each morning,
to put on a happy face,
and to do it all again.

Last haiku of an
arduous year and I will
go out with a bang

12:53 PM
22/12/21

Come and fill this space
in my heart that no one has
been able to fill

4:11 PM
28/3/22

Lose yourself in the
sunshine of the summer sky.  
Let the sunflowers cradle you like
the sun cradles its children below.

I was born up there,
between the stars and the strange,
between the silence and space.
I was born up there,
alone and afraid and
far from anything we call human.
I was born up there,
as an alien, an outsider, a foreigner,
a small gift sent from the cosmos.
I was born up there,
thrown down to Earth
with nothing but by innocence
to guide me through this
rock I call my home.

You are my sun,
and I am your moon.
Find your way to me across
the skies, the land and the oceans
and meet me at dawn.

I either feel too
much or I don't feel at all-
there is no between

11:58 PM
28/6/22

What if the flowers of spring won't blossom?
What if I never run through the fields again?
What if I can't make it through the winter?
What if I may never see you again?
What if you won't wait for me anymore?
What if we won't find a way?

Dear diary;
I caught myself
thinking about you again.
I know,
it's nothing new-
I thought about you yesterday
and the day before that.
I need to work
on that...

The demons in me
are waiting for another
body to possess

4:17 PM
29/10/21

Even though
I love you hard,
it is still so
easy.

You were my greatest
sleepless night and my greatest
and only daydream

12:59 PM
9/5/21

Not all goodbyes
are considered a loss.
Rather than see it as a separation,
See it as an opportunity
to start anew.

The heart is
a heavy burden
for anyone
no matter how strong
they think they are.

I feel better when
the memories of you and
I come flooding back

12:58 PM
3/4/22

You were the softest
fire I had ever touched-
the flame to guide me

7:30 PM
3/2/25