I am yours,
forever,
never forget that.
We are blood, we are one,
and my heart will keep that promise.
And this distance is but a mirage,
a temporary illusion that
dissolves in our memories together.  
This heart still beats for you,
uninterruptedly
and always,
my sun,
never forget that.

The night has a way
of stirring the mind and memory.
Silence and shadow dance
to the rhythm of nostalgia
and everyone who held and broke this heart
flash before my my eyes.
Which of them will I take as my muse tonight
as I put pen to paper?
Shall it be the one who hurt me,
the one I loved or the one I thought
I forgot about so very long ago.

Saying 'I'm sorry'
is just another way to
announce 'I love you'

12:59 AM
16/9/22

We may not have been
each other's favorite chapter,
but I hope you can still smile when
you turn back the page to
where we began.

I don't know you anymore
and that is both beautiful
and terrifying at
the same time.

When the demons
get too loud,
all you can do is
write to them or
let them **** you.

If I loved it was you,
If I dreamed it was of you,
If I felt it was for you.

Dear diary;
I think I am starting
to believe in love again.
Each crush feels like the first time
and each kiss melts this heart-
the same stone heart I thought
would never crack again.
Indeed, I think I am ready
for love to destroy me
again.

I lost count
of how many times
you said "forever".
How many promises
of forever have I heard?
I think I have lost count.
Promises break faster than a
glass heart and I'm tired of
picking up the pieces.

Oh, how big you have grown,
how smart you are getting and
how creative you have become!
I could not be more proud and
these are just few of the reasons
I miss you more
with each passing day!

Your love painted
a masterpiece upon
this broken canvas
of a man.

Dear diary;
it has taken me
far too long to realize that
my biggest obstacle in life
is me, always has been,
and that hurts more than anyone ever could.
Wherever I go, whatever I do,
my shadow will follow me around-
a subtle reminder of my
mistakes, regrets and reminders
of who I used to be.
Yes, I now realize that no one
is as guilty as me when
it comes to me.

Dear diary;
Today was
a good day to die.
But worry not,
ready or not,
I'm going to
live young
and die fast.

I will bloom from the
implosion of you and I-
from ashes, I grow

11:08 PM
26/1/21

I wish you
were still here
so that I could wrap
my arms around you
so that you can feel
all of this love
I have for you
but cannot say.

Night has come,
and with it, the shadows
and the sorrowful moon.
I lie in bed and it's a little too silent.
I close my eyes, waiting for sleep,
but it always never comes.
You come to me in darkness
and I am reminded of a warmer time
so very far from where I ended up.
You are not here and neither am I,
at least the I that you remind me of
so very long ago, so very far from alone,
or maybe I always have been.

The discards of a
book wrote together but
never chose to read

4:03 PM
26/7/22

You do not know what
to do with me but that is
okay, no one does

5:58 PM
23/9/22

I am not okay
but I am better than who
I used to be then

11:36 PM
22/2/22

To dream you is to
still believe that one day you
will come back to me

4:12 PM
10/2/23

My heart is so full of you.
Your love brightens it,
turning this heart into a garden
of endless beauty.
One smile from you is enough
to bloom a thousand sunflowers.

We fall
for the ones
who ignore us and
we ignore
the ones
who fall for us.
Such is the irony of life.

My own mind must be
the biggest thief that I have
ever known

How does it feel to
know that you're the only one
standing in your way?

3:04 PM
7/4/21

I have laid in your
bed of sunflowers and
I have taken one home.
I keep it upon my bedside table
so that I will never forget you
and your warmth and joy you bring.
This is how I continue to adore you and
how you continue to
brighten my world.

Maybe I will never understand
how you took control this heart.
Was it sorcery or something sinister?
No, I suspect it had something to do with
the sweetness of your soul or
your beauty that leave
even the nymphs
in awe.

I am the god, I am the sea
protector of humanity
atom bombs and all the kaiju
they’re no match, you know that it’s true

I am the king, I am the beast
rage and wrath have now been unleashed  
I am the wonder of this world
there’s not a thing I couldn’t hurl

Has anyone flown
up to the stars to make sure
they were not replaced?

7:16 AM
2/11/23

I will always find
reasons to love you
and that will be
the death of me

Knowing that you are
loved is what keeps this heart beating.
I hope you know just how cherished you are
and how many smiles you bring to so many people.
I think I speak for everyone when I say
what a difference you have made in so many lives
and that we will be forever grateful.

In this heart,
I keep the memories
we share so far and I
nurture them every single day.
I hope we can add more to this heart one day
but until then I am content knowing
that you are happy and loved
and making your own memories.
As for me, I can open this heart
and recall the way you smile.
Indeed, there is nothing more beautiful
than you and our memories will
stay in this heart forever until
the next one we create.

One day,
someone will want
your smile as the first image
they see for the rest
of their life.

All this time
we have been given,
I will not waste it.
I will not give up
on us.
I will keep on
trying.

If you truly want
what's best for your heart,
then loving me is not the path
you should venture down.
I am but a dead end
waiting for you at
the end of
the road.

As the stars come out each night,
as do my thoughts of you
the way they set my skies ablaze
in your beauty and every
memory we shared.

My mind,
the largest metropolis I know.
Thoughts of you roam the streets-
our memories are set in concrete.
This city never sleeps,
but with you as
its population,
it knows peace.

I was not born a
leader nor a follower-
I was born to write

3:58 PM
3/6/22

Dear diary;
I hate to admit that
I am still dependent on
feelings I promised myself I
would no longer feel and
now I punish myself
for it.

I hope I wake up
when this nightmare is over-
it's taking so long

8:17 PM
14/3/23

We all get a little
overwhelmed sometimes
but the memories of you and I
sustain me the most.
I submerge myself in the thought of you,
that sublime smile and
the sunflower that is your heart
and I feel better again.
Just knowing you exist,
the miracle that you are,
is more than I could ever ask for.

We are born
naked and alone-
the centre of someone's universe.
And yet,
we remember
none of it.

Stardust flows through
your veins and every touch
creates galaxies upon my skin.

For muscles to grow,
they must bruise and tear
and it is the pain we must endure.
Surely, it must be true
of the heart?

I have never been
anyone's favorite person-
wouldn't that be nice?

12:00 AM
25/6/22

Just know that
you are not the only one
going through this
all-too-human and
inevitable pain.
The grief, the loss,
the unbearable weight of it all.
Just know that you do not have
to carry it all on
your own.

There is nothing I can say
to make you want to stay.
Nor will staring at our photographs
or replaying our shared laughs.
Nor will reading your horoscopes
or your old envelopes.
All I can do is to move on
and hope that you are gone.

Have you fallen in
love with a dream that you could
never make come true?

9:06 PM
17/8/23

Hope is killing me
yet hope is the only thing
keeping me alive

7:20 PM
10/12/22

After so much pain
under the chill of the winter moon,
a kiss from the sun herself
is enough to get me
through one more
year.

Dear diary;
my heart
met my soulmate
in the space between
slumber and waking.