Sometimes I need my solitude
when the battery gets low,
when the voices are too loud
and when I feel the weight
of the world upon my shoulders.
We all have our ways of recharging
whether it be in shadows
or in light.

We spent four years
wounding each other?
Is that love?
Some people would call us mad,
but that's what I just call
life.

My soul's melody
can still be played but
it is missing your voice.
It is still pleasant to listen to
but without your harmony,
I will forever sing alone.

How fragile must
we be to have our pride hang
on another's words

8:14 PM
25/3/22

Even in dreams
I cannot escape you.
Your voice still shrieks through sleep
and your face can still be seen
throughout these dreamscapes.
What was once a method of escape
has now become a prison of
memories of a love I thought I
left behind long ago.

What if everything
was as scary as my mind
made it out to be?

10:56 PM
4/7/24

I have now realized that
there is no place in this world
for me without you.
There is no star where you do not twinkle
nor sunflower where you do not blossom.
Indeed, I will always carry you with me
no matter where I go,
and no matter the time.

Dear diary;
Today,
I feel alive.
so much so that
my demons are
laughing with me.

Solitude is not
about where I am, it is
about who I am

6:05 PM
21/5/23

Dear diary;
this heartbreak stuff
does wonders for my writing.
Is it a price worth paying?
Probably not,
but it’s not
like I have a
choice.

There are some people
you can know a lifetime
and still not relate to
just as there are strangers
who you can relate to
as if having known
them a lifetime.

I thought I
could save you
but it turns out that
I only made it
worse.

You may not
be able to forget them,
but you sure as hell
can remember them
as lessons.

what a
tragedy it is
to think of you
and not tell you
because you are
no longer
mine.

Don't let me close my eyes-
wake me if I do,
even if I am dreaming because
no dream can compare to the one I lay beside.
I want to dream of you
with eyes wide open.

It's the solitary nights
I cherish the most.
The silence and shadows,
the thoughts and theories-
these are the things that
keep this heart beating-
this is what it's all about.

What will I do with
all that vulnerability
you have given me?

3:59 PM
9/2/23

Though I now may be damaged,
I could never hurt anyone
the way you hurt me.

Why is it so hard
to let go of those who
hurt us the most?
Is it because they were once
the source of happiness
and everything nice?
Are we still clinging onto the hopes
that it will go back to
the way it was?

The burden of hope
is bound to take its toll on
everyone one day

11:56 PM
15/5/21

I can still feel your presence
through distance and time,
through the tears and the smiles,
and through the darkness and light.

Baby,
I'm a broken man.
I'm nothing but damaged goods
but I promise to give you
all of the love that I
couldn't promise
to myself.

I want someone who
knows the silence of my soul.
Yes, we will build our lives
from a sweet silence that
only we can understand.

Distance is the bridge
that separates our two worlds-
A bridge I must cross.

8:51 PM
26/9/24

These memories blanket me
like the cosmos above-
countless worlds I will
never experience.
The stars above sparkle
like the unsaid words and
our broken promises-
out of reach yet oh
so beautiful.

I still believe there is a
little piece of love that flickers in
the centre of your heart-
Like an ember struggling to breathe
in the heart of a
stormy night.

The Earth can only
contain so much before
it bursts open from its
volcanoes and geysers,
as can a star when it
goes supernova.
What chance do you have
of holding it all in?

This is where we go
when we die: into the hearts
of those who love us

8:57 PM
27/3/20

I have lost so much
and one more thing won't make a
difference - I'm at peace

4:12 PM
29/6/23

The mere act of thinking about you
takes me to the cosmos and beyond,
that is why I love to write you,
all of you, my inspiration and
absolute devotion.

I love you every
day but today I will put
it in a haiku

7:49 PM
23/2/20

Would you have done the
same if you had known how it
was going to end?

9:06 PM
1/2/23

My heart calls to you,
it needs you more than blood.
It longs for your smile,
for your stories and
all of your being.
You are my sun,
and from this Earth I long for you.
So hear this heart calling,
and come back into my arms.

You said forever
but you did not mention just
how short it would be

1:12 AM
28/8/22

Your laugh
still echoes in
my mind,
my dreams,
and that's the
saddest part of all.

Sometimes I wake and
remember you like a sunflower
remembers the sun on a stormy night.
Indeed, your sunlight blessed
the garden of my soul and
left life and joy in its wake.
The warmth of your touch,
the illumination of your smile
blooms a thousand sunflowers
that make up this soul.

There are still stars
in the sky where you sed to twinkle.
Sometimes I am lucky to witness
a shooting star when we talk
but that is fleeting in an
otherwise dead sky.

Do you not know
that you are mine, and I am yours?
That your dreams are mine,
and that our hearts beat as one?
We may be separated but never apart
for we are one in blood, one in soul.
Everywhere you go, I go too,
We breathe the same air.

Your love
makes me feel like I'm
falling like a petal in
your presence.
Carried by your breath,
I drift into your heart
and make my home.

It is impossible to separate you
like the sun from the moon.
It still hurts to remember you,
but the memories still
brighten my days.

Dear diary;
I do not feel-
no, I do not feel anymore.
Sometimes I can feel my heartbeat,
or a lonely butterfly in this stomach
but that pales in comparison to
when I used to feel alive,
to feel any hope at all.

Her flesh may be scar-less,
but don't be fooled,
her broken bones and
broken heart are
all part of the
journey.

I miss you
like a dolphin
misses that breath
of fresh air to sustain itself
in the unforgiving depths
of the ocean,
and tonight,
my bed lies at the
bottom of the ocean.

To dig up the past,
is to raise the dead.
Let it rest,
for you will find
nothing but rot and death.
Do not relive the horrors
of a life now deceased.

This world
is under no obligation
to be less weird
than fiction.

I do not wait for you,
but I am all you have and
all you will ever know.
I can distance you from people,
but I can also bring you together.
I can heal wounds and I
can open up old scars.
I am time.

It may not seem like it,
but no one,
not one person,
has their life 100% together.
Everyone has their struggles
and everyone shows it in different ways.

Dear Diary;
I have concluded that
there is no soul left in me-
maybe I never had one.
All I know is that there are
no dreams and no love
to be desired.

We have nobody to blame
for these feelings but ourselves.
How we react depends on how
we interpret the situation.
Just remember that you are
your own source of emotion-
the keys to this ride
we call life
is yours.

I seem to know how
to chase the stars-
but never how to
catch them.