I thought it would be
different by the time I
got home and held you

6:17 PM
9/7/19

Someday I will find
a way to cut every part
of you out of me

I let myself go like water
flowing through the Earth.
I want to fill every corner
of this world.

Feelings on repeat
why does everyone
always retreat
when all's said and done?
Every heartbeat
I have felt
so bittersweet
they make me melt
only to find
that I'm alone again.
We're so blind
to love and its friends.

Roses and dinner,
a bottle of wine and cheese
for my Valentine.

2:31 PM
14/2/20

I wish her well in
an awful year and I hope
to make her forget

6:10 PM
14/9/19

You’re in the colours
I see everyday and you’re
in the rainbows I see
on special days.
Even though I don't see you anymore,
you still make up the spectrum
that gives my life beauty.
I don't see how I could forget you
when you're still painting
the colours in my life.

I walked through
that park last night.
Your perfume lingers
and the twilight glistens
upon the lower lake.
I stared at my reflection
and saw us staring back
at a heartbroken man
standing there alone.

I wrote a story
somewhat less than swell but you
read it to the end.

21/5/19
7:09 PM

I thought I was over you
until I saw your smile,
a sad smile-
oh, how I wish I could
fix that smile.
I try to justify the flutter
of my heart at the
mere sight of you.
That smile on your face-
oh, how I wish it was
still for me.

Perhaps I am not
alone as I thought I was-
perhaps they do care

4:15 PM
29/12/21

Seldom in life do I come across
people I can be myself around.
Most of the time I feel like
I have to put on a show
to get through the day,
to get through life.
But sometimes you find
someone who can read your soul
as if it were their favorite poem.
It's with people like this you can be honest,
without the judgement and the fear
that they'll think less of you.
Oh, how rare they are-
so rare that you can
mistake it for love.

I too am human
and I too feel emotions-
do you understand?

7:04 PM
30/10/19

We love in silence-
our love is evident in our actions.
We are the silent lovers-
we are one in the same.

There was I time,
long ago,
when I could sleep
in peace-
in love.
I didn't need to dream
when you were in my arms-
my dreams could not compare to
the way I could close my eyes
and wake up to the scent of you.
But gone are those days,
and I am left with the memory.
Now, I find my thoughts
running in circles,
always back
to you.

Lust is a star
exploding in my chest.
See it burn in the night,
a beacon only for your
pretty little eyes.
Come and tame this star
that burns for the galaxy
within your heart.

I wasn't prepared to be right-
but I knew you would find
someone else
and I knew you would be happier
with them-
even happier than you were with me.
I knew you wouldn't miss me anymore
and I knew you would move on.

We eat our shadows
so that nothing else can hurt
us ever again

12:17 PM
19/9/20

Dear diary;
There are some days-
days like today-
where I have no place for this world.
Other days,
I feel like perhaps this world
has no place
for me.

Social media has a
way of warping reality
for good or for worse.
Do not let it make you feel left behind-
the only person you should be
comparing yourself with
is yourself.

Dear Diary;
Does not drinking
half a bottle of gin
make me more or
less fun at parties?
On second thoughts,
don't answer that.

Only in poetry
do we still exist.
Only within each verse
can I still adore you and
only within each word
can I still find bliss.

Now,
each step
is the farthest
I’ve ever gone without you
and when I look back and
see the moon above the city where you sleep,
the more I realize that I left my heart
underneath your pillow.

So here I go as
I put my pen to paper
and see where I go

6:29 PM
9/7/19

I'm a sorry little soul
and you’re the only thing
that keeps me going.
I’m a fraying mass-
I'm falling apart at the seams
and you're the last stitch
keeping me together.
I've been left out in the rain,
the cold and the darkness,
and I'm waiting on your light
to bask in my direction.

Never abandon
yourself in order to keep
the affinity

11:24 PM
27/11/20

you move like rain,
you move like the storm.
Sometimes soft,
sometimes heavy.
You end my droughts,
leaving a rainbow,
to clear my doubts,
in sun or in snow.

I think forgetting
will always be easier
than remembering

9:50 AM
31/7/22

If only I was
physically tired
rather than
mentally tired
at the end of
each day.

One of the best things
you can do for yourself is
to become comfortable
with the loneliness.
Learn to accept it-
you might even learn
to embrace the solitude
and all the shadows
as your company.
To learn to be okay with being alone
in a world so loud, so full of
crowds and temptations is
not just self care,
it is a form of art.

It is true,
each day brings us
closer to death.
But you,
you make each day
worth living.

You are
someone's cup of tea.
Don't stop looking for
that perfect brew.

I have written you,
and I will write you again,
for the words can not stop flowing.
They have long since forgotten
the way back to you,
now they are just trying to
fill up the void that exists
in my heart.

my dream has been a
curse in one too many ways-
I found and I lost you.

Loneliness is a
prison and I am serving
a life time sentence

9:22 PM
27/10/20

I couldn't see it,
love had blurred my vision
but the warning signs were
as clear as day.
Then you let me go,
and suddenly,
I could see again but
it was too late.

If I close my eyes,
maybe imagination
will bring me to you

4:58 PM
4/12/20

Happy?
No, not quite.
These days,
I'd say I'm more content.
Yeah,
content,
I like the sound of that.

Another day goes
by where I am reminded of
a life spent with you

6:24 PM
17/6/19

Time seems to only fly
when you
don't want it to,
right?
Sometimes our days drag on
and on like passing clouds-
other days, like shooting stars-
blink and you'll miss it.

I'll never forget that day
you caught me off-guard like that.
The way you so effortlessly
drew my breath away
upon first sight
as if to make room
for what could have been.

You have moved on while
I am still paralyzed and
I can't move at all

11:34 PM
1/6/22

My heart is wearing out
after feeling everything
so passionately, so intensely
and now I think I need a new heart.

In all honesty,
I didn't like how it ended.
I tried convincing myself
that is was okay,
but it was never okay,
and it never will be.
But that doesn't mean
I wish it never happened.
I'm glad it did-
I needed it to,
and as much as I
wish to rewrite the ending,
I know I wouldn't be the person
I am today if it had
happened differently.

what actually were we
other than two broken hearts,
and two lost souls?
A sense of passion, yet only for an instant,
leading to an everlasting
feeling of torment.
Our distant dreams of romance
never quite turned into a reality
without even a daydream of hope.

I myself in
the blissful radiance of
the sunflower field
contained within your soul.
It warms me like the eternal bond
between the sun
and the flower.

Those were not my tears,
they were memories streaming
that I can't get back

1:09 AM
2/6/19

Oh, how she
longs for sweet, little
death
while I long for
her sweet, little
heart

It's been a while
since the last time
I dreamed of
you and I.

We all wander,
sometimes too much,
about those who truly care
for us.
We believe that no one
would care if we weren’t here-
but think about all the ones that
you have ever cared about and
how they have no idea about it.
I had a college teacher I
haven’t seen in too long
yet I still tell people how much
of an impact he had even though
he doesn't have a clue.
I have old coworkers,
people I met through travels,
and friends turned acquaintances
and haven’t seen in years
who I would be devastated about
if something happened to them.
We secretly care about so many people
but act like it’s impossible that
anyone cares about us.
Impossible - people do.
more than you think,
even if you can’t see it.