As cold as the air might have seemed.
No matter how many nights you have screamed.
Nothing comes and nothing goes.
In your world nothing heals nothing grows.
A field of mass frustration in your mind.
What exactly are you trying to find?
The angels whimper and the devil laughs.
Watching your mind fall apart and crash.
You seem to me that you want something great.
But in your mind it is I you sedate.
You wanted the world and you could of had it.
Laying in your own ***** and spit.
You seem to be going insane.
Was it me that made you lose your brain?
As hot as this blood may feel.
It is cold as ice sitting on steel.
You ran and cannot be found.
So quiet not even a sound.
You torment your self today.
As we watch you fade away.

Too much stress i feel depressed
my lifes so fast its blurring past
Hells an eternity so big and bold,
my world possessions i wish i'd sold
I dont need them here or anywhere
its not like anyones gonna care
To Hell with you I'll pull myself through
I've been here before, at deaths door
Dont cry for me when i'm gone, just sell my house and burn my lawn
She said the flowers didnt die... they sat there idle and made her cry
Dont say goodbye, its too late
so shut the door and lock the gate
leave me here in my room today
hello to hell is all i'll say

Strangers stay away.
Anxiety stirs another day.
I don't know you.
What are you going to do?
Hurt me, **** me?
Take away my family?
Strangers stay away.
Allow me to live another day.

I sit alone, forcing myself in solitude
Fearing my anger and demolition of an attitude
Struggling with suicide and homicide thoughts alike
Living this nightmare, never knowing when I may strike

I pray for life, I pray for death
Mental shutdowns leaving one big mess
A struggle, A nightmare, no relief in sight
Closing the shades to the moon, it s to bright

The crazy thoughts come and go
Suicide watchman loses his way on patrol
Writing, striking, knocking on deaths door
Instead of me it s the few that I love and adore

Clenching teeth until they break
I m still paying for those fckd up mistakes
Still horrified at self actions and emotional pain
Knowing my loved ones ignore the signs of me being insane

But than again maybe I hide it all to well
A rotting empty self hiding in a happy little shell
Sometimes my true colors bleed through and show
Spreading my pain and emptiness for all to know

Sometimes it pushes some even farther away
And really truly, to me that s ok
I never needed the company of them or you
I will puzzle the pieces of my mental illness through and through

Once this nightmare is over and done
Another will arrive with the setting of the sun

Foundation of the family blood ties.
Have lost it all in the house of lies.
The demon holds the hellish crest.
As, daddy feels the daughters breast.
Kiss of warmth soon turns cold.
As daddy begins to take the hold.
Muffled with silence, shattered by fears.
The daughter reveals her crystal clear tears.
As daddy stares into her eyes.
He feels her pain as the daughter sleeps in.
As daddy wears the sinister grin.

Cursing and swearing just got me in trouble.
Sitting there on the toilet blowing bubbles.
Yeah I never really learned from soap.
Until one day I lost all my glee and hope.
My mother was being rude to my sis.
I swear I'll never forget this.
She was trying to force feed her *** roast.
But Lacey dislikes meat at the very most.
So I yelled at my mom calling her a bad name.
After that things just weren't the same.
All I remember of that tragic day.
Was being pinned to the floor to pay.
A bar of Ivory was shoved in and out.
I could here my sister cry and shout.
Mom told me to start chewing it all up.
Well that's what happened sure enough.
I was gagging I felt so dead.
What was going through my moms head?
Abuse!

Its a beautiful day and Im with you.
Shamless regrets are forgotten to.
I see you smile and laugh.
I put behind me the misserble past.
You make me feel so wonderful tonight,
I know being held in your arms Im alright.
The nights may be slighty colder.
And the seasons might get older.
But when we sit it seems time stands still.
The love the passion the care the thrill.
Im falling in love this season.
And for all the right reasons.
A true beauty and a beautiful day.
Nothing will ever get in our way.
Friends for now lovers next fall.
Theres nothing more to write thats all