Today I am offered another chance.
Drifting far away from the devils dance.
I take a silent sudle glance.
I see the flowers grow with delight.
The days and nights are always bright.
I have no more reasons to fight.
Looking into the crystals eve.
Yes I certainly do indeed believe.
The blood has left my white sleeve.
Today I have found the new inner me.
Something has found me and set me free.
Today I am no longer blind I can see.
Thank you to the one who has saved me today.
There were so many darker days.
But now it is so easy to say.
That I do truly love you.
Everything I want to do I can do.
Finally I have found the right fitting shoe.

I am a little bit strange.
I may even be a bit insane.
But somethings keeps me going inside.
Something makes me wish I wouldn't of died.
I am a little bit far from reality.
Really look at me and you can see.
Now it's cold, dark almost all the time.
I wish I knew how to unwind.
I may fall short of a winner everytime.
And living was a punishment for all my crime.
I didn't think it would be sin to be born.
I didn't ask, now my life's torn.
Im crashing into waves of darkness.
It's the only thing I can possibly harness.
I know now of all my wrongs and it's to late.
I wish there was someone out there to relate.
It's ok though, I'll just sit here and fade.
Please realize I never had it made.
And no matter how much I constantly tried.
I was left alone sad and lost only to cry.

There is something that I solely created.
Wishing now I would have sedated.
A self amusement of a lying truth.
The razor blades inflict self abuse.
Trying to hold onto whatever life means.
Still awake in this nightmarish dream.
\There is something that I solely created.
Wishing now I would have debated.
Confused and dragging myself into depression.
Creating a self hated person of aggression.

Quick to anger harder to please, something lurks silently beneath.
Rusted skin like some kind of mechanical animal dying in the rain.
Only one thing to show and tell today and that is his pain.
Quiet, a mute perhaps? The final bow takes place the audience claps.
Back at home the rust is carved away with memories of displeasure.
The severity of this mans illness can not be measured.
Like in all the other poems he tattered and wrote.
So ***** nothing helps not even the harshest of soaps.
The rust falls to the floor, quick to cover his ****** scars.
Inhaling to a faint exhale gazing up into the infinite abyss of stars.
Walking back into his house with boarded windows and paper covered mirrors.
It s the only thing that silences and hides his fears.
Backstage again getting ready for his painful mechanic show.
Apply the make up just a couple of rusting wounds to sew.
Drugs to keep him going just for this one last time.
The sickness is set aside a voice in his head says all will be fine.
The entrance caused an uproar. The audience wants to see more.
The machine like puppet stripped of his clothes showing all the rust.
A self mistake of the same self hatred hate threw away all trust.
As he looks up and sees he is only the reflection in the mirror.
The changing inside became so unclear.
He finally realized he has never left his house in years.
Attacking himself in the mirror hoping to **** what he sees.
The screams of agony run, jump and flee.
A suicidal disaster nothing could save him this time.
A true inspiration, the next suicide shall be mine

I am three years old and it s ***** training time
I m so excited this whole day is going to be mine
On the toilet I try an try
I can t do it, I let out a cry
Babysitter is not mad though, she just smiles
Looking at me she says it s ok we will try in awhile
Mom comes home from a bad day at work again
As I say good-bye to my babysitting friend
Mommy sees the messy underwear in the bathroom
She picks them up, I feel a certain doom
She yells at me what is this
The poopy, pss infested ****** are clenched in her fist
Sit on the toilet now, it s time you learn
Rubbing the ****** on my face until it burned
*** now dmn it, she rubs and yells
My eyes fill with tears and my eye lids swell
I really want to learn mommy I really do
Did you go? She shouts, I m not done with you
Putting the ****** over my face and made to lay on the floor
Forced into a diaper, humiliated to the core
Left in the corner of discipline all through  the night
I hope tomorrow babysitter will help me get it right

I'm a man of love, I am a man of hate.
Bi-polar consequences with no means of escape.
Never knowing what my mentally instability my bring.
One day a common peasant, the other day an angry king.
No hope for me, I struggle just to get through the day.
Often letting go, watching myself slip further away.
Madness to happiness, happiness to tormenting pain.
I often question myself, am I really sane?
The stress of my ever changing moods leaves me blind.
And I will regret leaving my loved ones behind.
Suicide tempts me as God turns away.
Another emotional disaster is under way.
The life I live is not the choice I made.
To far gone for any medication to save.
Dreams are nightmares and nightmares are my life.
Struggling once again to make things right.
But how many of my wrongs will be forgiven?
Staying quiet, keeping my emotional fears hidden.
A laugh is never a burden, my happiness has just gone away.
Self tormented and I can only make others pay.
I know deep down inside there's a happiness to be set free.
But how much more can I drive with my tank on empty?
A compliment or positive gesture is often discarded.
As my sadness and emptiness remain unguarded.
This is the end as the shadows of my mind draw near.
Everything in my life still remains murky and unclear.
Bleeding myself to death I never thought it would go this far.
Fading away only to say good-bye with one final scar.
I really loved you all and I am sorry I failed to repent.
From hell my love letters shall be sent.

As the summer turns cold.
The life in me is getting old.
And another story shall be told.
Fallen like angels with disease.
Soon the the summer will freeze.
Hold on summer, just one more day please.
I feel death brush over us like a sad decay.
And it's sad knowing this is my final day.
So get the hell out of my way.
Because I wont let this cold summer get me down.
This suicidal smile is my killing frown.
I am king of this where's my crown?
Summer of death, summer of deceased.
My anger and sadness slowly increase.
Come and rid of this horrible disease.