Don't think about her
Nearly as much
As I used to
By now I am used to
The miles away
And the days that roll
Carelessly by
Cannot change
The estrangement I felt
The last time in her presence
As I would draw near
To the end of my sentence
She would without hesitance
Preoccupy
Her pretty little mind
With excuses for why
Her and I
Could not be
Brought together in moments
That felt more like
We

Cut the head off
The snake
‘Fore its many
Temptations
She’d hopelessly sate
My reptilian cold
To the sickness
Afflicted
My sheerest indifference
To pain I
Inflicted
All must be met
Swiftly
With lessons in empathy
By her own words
This is action’s
Peremptory
Testament’s
Genesis
Thee most decisive
Discourse
Instrumentalist
Musing his final
Attempt to be brave
To remind her
His love
Was designed for the grave
And embossed in
Conceding
To her
It was made
That exhausted,
Defeated
His body be laid
At her feet
Once again
To unrest
In his shame

So much more to them
Than animal
These humans who survive
On half a dollar every day
A god to pray to make them thrive
And feel alive
Sometimes, a vibe
That they describe and can personify
With what lives in
Their mind
Sometimes
A million ways to question why
We weren’t given wings
To fly
So high into the heavens
Where the dreamers go
To say goodbye

Always hiding
Holding back
Authentic selves
With whom we clash
Urbane, genteel
Affluent act
Exactly what the poor deride
The rich don’t even like the type
In spite of how behaving like
A snobbish, pompous
Socialite
Seems to pay off
A little less
Than cheap escorts
In fancy dress
Could ever make
Themselves elite
Just urchins playing in the street

Without turmoil
Turning from turbulent
Trials
To what I’ve compiled
In more secret files
How miles and miles
I’ve traveled and tread
To eventually find
What goes on in my head
Is a spiraling
Virally
Spreading
Contagion
The rage
Can’t contain
The mass grave
I am caged in
Before
In my bouts
Of capricious good luck
I have sought after
Found
Raking long in the muck
A compassionate partner
To clean up my act
To provide me a peace
I’ve so ceaselessly
Lacked

Darkest kid
In a city of light
Saw the radiant prism in bloom
In the night
And I had all these crazy ideas
Influenced
By the ******-trope ghost’s
Lonely constituents
What composes the roses
Compels to despair
And what withers in wilting decay
Without care
See the forest for trees,
Fade away with the breeze
Petals coated in metal
Unsettled unease
How I shied from your touch
With sensation remaining
Vibrations sustained
In the ongoing raining
Was never intended to stretch to the sun
Just recede to the shadows
Of comfortably numb

Your mind
Is a whirlwind,
A maelstrom
All scattered
Your heart has been torn apart,
Broken and shattered
Now nothing else matters
To you on the surface
But grungey rejoinders,
A vape
And some verses
Conversing with you though
Reveals the concealed
And when you crack a smile
I know you still feel,
You still care,
You still try
To believe living life
Doesn’t mean you just die
At the end of it
Having spent none of it
Finding
The love you misplaced
Or have trouble defining
Consigned to the trash
Heap of past
Deepest cuts
And the lingering pain
In the heart
As it shuts
Out the would-be abusers
Preemptively
Safe
From the hurt
And the worth
Less than dirt
Sort of fate
But not stating this
With any judgment intent
Just relating it to
My own former torment

I guess I could smile
Pretend I'm a friend
And exude the illusion
That they can depend
On my purest intentions
To cleanse filthy hands
Of the innocent guilt,
Smite it dead where it stands
Because there is no counting
The crimes I've committed
Or those they have yet to try
Thee unforgiven
Transgressions unspoken
The word of God
Covenant
Binding chains broken
And to higher powers
Influence awaken
Not those a savior
Or those of a Satan
Could stop them
Control them
Or answer their prayers
When they find
Only they
Overcome the travails
Set before them
By not
A didactic instructor
Parental mentor
Just the world
And its suffering
Life to endure

Climbing up
To peaks with you
To float with you
Through space
Renew
The happiest places
From where they begin
All the stars in oblivion
Starting to dim
Reimagine
This moment
Illumined again
And in sickness,
In health
Be prepared
For the end

I guess I’ve not written it
All of us living
In prisons
Been giving it
More than a second thought
Crime
I’m reliving it
Living in times
Where the country
Is dying inside
A transition
From freedom to tyranny’s
Trite
Repetition
Again the same playbook
Dismantle the government
Double misspeaking
It’s they who are running it
Straight into private
Conflictual interests
All at your expense
And yet…
None of your business…

Without markets
It’s darkness
No cable
To spark this
That works
To connect
An anonymous
Marxist
With Cominterns
Burning through
Forest and field
More ideally
Than killing ones
Capital yields

Rather take culture
Than power
All day
But my counterclaims
Waging their wars
To the grave
To the say no more
Nemeses
Seek to enslave
Though if any
Among them
Demand I behave
It is not an enraged
Won’t go quietly
Cage
State of mind
I would seek to portray
For the slobbering, driveling
Man babies
Wave
Their unfurling economy
Banners
In flame
For some impulse control
Wholly lacking
Performance
Their victimized,
Histrionic
Self-endorsement
Is not how my dormant
Internalized
Torment
Awakens to its
Catastrophic
Disruption
Or floods the zone
With more
Amoral
Corruption

Should get back to writing
Now quiet
The mind
But instead
I make boisterous
Tumults inside
There’s no way
She’s not taken
Don’t even try
Save it
For some other
One in a billion
Vicissitudes
Pass through my life
And expect me not
To confuse
Fate with coincidence
Once again
Increments
Come and they go
What remains
Is eventually I
Start all over
A gains

Incomplete piece
For another
Non-lover
That wouldn’t be her
Someone new to discover
I smother compassion,
Affection,
Connection
As soon as it feels
Like attachment
Is present
And end up resenting
Them for
Imperfection
Until it’s been years
Since caresses have tempered me,
Humbled me
Stumbling in darkness,
My future in jeopardy
Vain to have once
Been beholden and held
To and by
The whom with
All the me parts would meld
But I dwelled
In dispelling illusions
Too long
And replaced them
With heartache’s
More comforting song
So familiar to me
Until I finally
Came to see
That the clarity
Ever eluding me,
She

One in a billion
Awaiting out there
But I’m certain
In that many years
Can’t compare
To the healing
You were
My affliction, despair
I was barely beginning
To finally care
About what in the world
Wasn’t just me aware
Of your rarity,
Verity
Taken for granted
How much you were there with me
There when I
Ranted
Recanted,
Commanded attention
And by you enchanted
Enamored I guess
Without saying the word
Thought it best
To be best of friends,
Not bridges burned

Still masking en masse’s
And variant aryans
Nobody wants
A koala on fire
But when it’s a forest
It isn’t as dire
Exorbitant wealth
Little more for myself
I have no reservations,
The hand I’ve been dealt
Not immediate victory
But I make due,
Bend the rules
As I need
To upgrade
Ocean view

God is just
Your shame
Your insecurity’s
To blame
Not everyone is out to get you
Not a reason to complain
So stop deflecting
And diverting
Only hurting
Your pretension
With each mention
Of the overwhelming
Trauma
You’ve endured
In no dimension
Left conceivable
Will you be reassured
You’re not a victim
Not a target
Just entitlement
Incarnate
But your followers,
Subscribers,
All the eyes on you
Desires
Are made fleeting
And enfeebled
When you’re asked a simple question
Can you really live without it
But a moment’s
Inattention?

Little man
Gets enraged,
Is why every war’s
Waged,
And nothing stays
The saber-rattling
When it’s simply
How we’re made
And what we gain
From our crusading
Must be powerfully
Displayed
And what the makings
Of arms racing
Yields an arsenal
Arrayed
And what precipitates
Intimidates
Obliterates
And fades
Like an imperial ambition
Spread too thin
In its campaigns

You live out there
For awhile
And think about
Everything you left behind
When you get down
Below despair
She’s gone
Get over it
Beware
I’m pathetic
I get it
And really high now
I’m the third wheel
My guys
You know
I get down
I get mad
I get dark
I get all these emotions
You know
All apart
From reality
Barely
In gravity
Loved her so much
That I laughed
At her ghost
For the others
My mother
Can’t talk to her now
Don’t make jokes
Or I’ll watch you die slowly
And revel in pain
And feel nothing
Inside
As I burn in the rain

Contained in this limited
Me apparatus
Inhibited by
Wires of
Systematic
Meticulous matrices
Making these mazes
Can only be certain
I’ve occupied spaces
Within scope of sight
And affirming my form
Are these words that I write
Only glean
What is seen
Only know
What is shown
Or revealed
In a dream
But deprive me of sense
And I’m just a routine
An empirically
Learning,
Computing
Machine

The sickness of society
Itself
The impropriety
The clock
Tik-tok’ng
Virally
The world reacting
Violently
Too long repressed
This side of me
Pretenses
Prone
To primacy
Eventually
Become the norm
Undo the instinct
To conform
That comes from this
Excessive culture
Dog eat dog
Consumer vulture
Law and order’s
Infrastructure
Ruptured like
A housing bubble
Hospitals
Reduced to rubble
And beneath
The tons of toxins
Still our self-destruction
Blossoms
Love and hate’s
Unnatural state
Of unions we cannot
Equate

It’s how much I’d miss you
To you I submit to
And none more among
The great many
I serve
More than her
Undeserving
Will I
Ever learn
How it hurts
To be bearing
The weight of betrayed
How to stay
Inclinations
Inflictions
Of pain

The other reality
Me,
You can’t see
Yet interconnects
And affects
The trajectory
Just like the cat
In the box
Unfurls
Alternate worlds
Without even knowing
Itself
An accessory
To the sound science
Of silence unheard
Of eternities echoing
Just take my word
For its worth
In researching
Infinities granted
Immersion in certain
Within the vicinity
Of possibility
But beyond specious
Unfathomability
Where is the proof?
To convince me
The truth
Can be held
Relativity’s
String theory noose

Yet even now
Still hope you’re reading
Even if it’s just a fleeting
Skimming of
The haunted house
Within it ghosts
Still boast about
Priceless possessions
How they dig
The grave reflections
Like Narcissus
Smoke and mirrors
Darkly lit
Yet starkly clearer
Oddly somehow
All makes sense
A cosmic joke
At my expense
Dispenses with
Unfinished business
No illusions
Left to witness
Just remains
And acid rains
The single mind
In many brains
Material
Dissolving in
Ethereal
Embodiments

Opportunity knocks
An incentive to write
Otherwise
It’s just normally
How I do life
Never needed a reason
Or rhyme
To break even
And I never coveted profit
Receiving
For what I’d prefer to be shared
Just like this
A communal experience
Still penniless

Always sneaking away
In his little
Man cave
The man-made
Powerless
By transcending the grave
When it dawns on him
Fled from his
Failed escapade
From corrupt repercussions
Too hushed to be saved
From the mortal sins
None but the rich
Can attain  
Through religions sustaining
Indulgence’s gain
There is no more escape
No facade-costumed rave
No more corridors,
Fortresses,
Fortunes
And fame
Just the people
Protesting
Too long in his nesting
Atop where they toil
Too much of their blood
Has he spilled in the soil
And watered his verdant
Palatial complexes
With greed at the heart
Of his god
Of excesses

Love for my solace
Enchantress
Romances
To render my solitude’s
Narrow expanses
A coffin no more
Than the halls of Atlantis
Enthralled on the shore
Of a homeless encampment
Displaced along
Floodwaters rise
But alive
And as long as
The conflict ensuing
Is distant
Not in my
Backyard
Basically
Non-existent
My conscience is clear
And untarnished my pride
I can carry on here
Without guilty inside
All it takes
Is reducing
The problems to me
All alone,
So alone
In my personally

Cast my dominions
To somber
Oblivions
Long to return
To macabre  
Conditions
My patience
Is wearing thin
Yet I keep
Waiting
But counting the seconds
Is so
Aggravating
When you’ve made your peace
Suspend your
Disbelief
Just a little bit longer
You made it
Attained it
A life once elusive
Now you must sustain it
Without overcoming
Your darkest desires
In any way
Sating
Their grave of empires

How to say
Come what may
Where the fault line is laid
What to do in events
You slip through it
Afraid
If you say it
Intrudes
And refuses to quit
If you feel how its dissonance
Widens the rift
Then you must
Find a way
To admit
Why we say it
Or doomed to repeatedly
Weeping
Replay it

Not into this night
Rather write it
Away
But instead I’m reviewing
This life
Pressing play
To resume
Repetitions
Of watching it go
Passes by
In an instance
Each aspect,
Component of me’s
Been relinquished
I look through the glass
But what’s looking back
Different
And it
Doesn’t recognize me
Anymore
Reminiscent of only
The mask that he wore

We liked to start pyres
And dance with the devil
Conspired to sire
Empires to level
We reveled in vices
Incited deceit
Then delighted in slaughter
Without eating meat
For the sheeple beneath us
Did not understand
How our black magic covenant
Did not demand
Some occult loyal following,
Supplicants bowed
To society’s
Just be a face in the crowd
Looking back
In judgmental
Disdain
For our kind
Liberated
We watched
As the rest of them died
In our most wicked rendezvous
Learning to fly
We devised evil plans
Of dispelling the norms
We divined how to conjure up
Energy storms
But were still good together
Not hurting a soul
Save the two we had long ago
More or less
Sold

Maybe you’ve flirted
With funeral
Widows
Perhaps even mirrored
Their bleak
Weeping willows
But pillows have ways
Of prescribing more pill woes
And roses
Can’t say
Where the amorous
Thrill goes
And those of us
Willing to
Vow to take part
Should take heart
In unduly
How truly
We mark
The occasions
As often
As coffins
And ravens
Engrave them
And to our most
Sordid devices
Enslave them

Try talking of climate
They’d sooner
Deny it
Try talking of politics
Seek to divide it
Try sharing your feelings
Divulging your secrets
They’d make them taboo
While exploiting your weakness
Try lead by example
Just see where it gets you
Try seizing the moment
As futures forget to
Contain you
Sustain you
Preserve your remembrance
So why try to make the world
In your resemblance?

Everyone prides themselves
Free-spirited
But relies
On the all-seeing eye
Of the pyramid
Can’t live without it
Don’t doubt it has value
Enabled and bound
By what it
Should allow you
To feel you are true
To your word
Liberation
Not waiting on state‘s
For your due compensation  
From laboring
Toiling away
To have more
Of the choice
They supply
To the fully-stocked store
But you have to go back
Or else what would you eat?
Free to starve
In the market
Of cheat or compete

From provenance
To Providence  
To prominence
I rise
Among students
And teachers
And principled minds
But in mines
I’m the guy
On the line
Getting by
All the while
Unearthing
What we
Stratify

Once more
The public defenders
Surrender
To enemy states
Their impatience
Engenders
But we’ve seen it all
Watched the fall
Of the shopping mall
Deepseeking
Concert hall
Burning in splendor
As Nero aways
Drifts apart from the people
And watches the blaze
But if razing the standard
Is upending order
Then what say the man
Who comes up a bit shorter
What border wall
Criminal past
Must he hide
What abortions of justice
So blatantly lied
When its all checks
Imbalanced
The obvious tyrant
Dictum
And demeanor
Messianic palace
Makes you a believer
But pillars
Pill bottles
And bills
Still **** children
And thrill seeking pigs
Will keep bombing
The building
Net worth still ballooning
And dooming the planet
But now it’s too late
Like I said
Time to panic

Wellspring of regret
One we cannot forget
And yet
To its fond few
We’re forever in debt
So make room for the new
And let out
What the old
Keep you clinging
To what could have been
Yours to hold
And don’t let it go
Next time
Around the world over
Embrace open minds
And they will
End in closure
Just know her
Time hadn’t
Precisely converged
Although from its
Incursion
In yours
There emerged
An indelible
Celebratory
Each day,
Despite how that fateful
Lose faithful
One stays

We can bask in our hedonist excess at will
We can ****
Any life
We deem lesser
With skill
And yet still
We are capable of
Inner peace
I know all of you’ve
Felt it
As happy at least
To be not so
Materially
Predisposed
Or to claim to have
Earned it some way
Undisclosed

Withering on
Like the winds
Carry plague
Melancholic
The strain
Sorrow I can’t explain
And emotion
Is dopamine’s
Poetry name
For what I really feel
Is a figurative pain
Not an ouch
But it hurts
I am worthless
Than dirt
For at least
As the soil
Some sign of life blooms
From its loamy, lugubrious
Funeral tombs

Think of no others
Get lost in the grind
Through the gears and the fears
In the minds of mankind
You are falling behind
You’re a breed in decline
Like the falling of Roman
Republic’s design

Inwardly introspect
Technical fouls
Still checking myself
Like a courtship of owls
And towering over my head
Ego reigns
I profess it with fiery sermons
Enraged
At an enemy
Memory
Bending me
Mentally
As I awaken
The madness in melody
Never exceed,
Never bleed
Dry of life
Save the need
To see fiends
At the edge of a knife
Let the steeds
In their stampeding tumult
Proceed,
Let the siege
Bring to ruin
Their temples of greed
Let tempestuous tyrants
Command hurricanes
I will summon the depths
To devour their claims
For the nameless one
Gave me a face
And its features
Erased its facade
My visage
Is the reaper
Procurer of withering souls
In the soil
Demurrer to furors
That free me in toil  
For only through struggle
Have we then progressed
May this echo
A Testament
To its unrest

Just need a few minutes
Reiterate interest
Respond to my text
And then shut up and listen
To anything
You have to say
When we meet
When we see how we look
As we talk and we eat
But I can’t help but wonder
Between now and then
How much day can transpire
Before hitting send

Even now all of you
Reading this
Dissident’s
Dissonance
Cognitive
Synthesis
Most from the right
Little less from the left
But the nexus itself
Is contingent on theft
On consuming
Its own working classes
Bereft
Of the best in show
Pedigree
Peddling its
Influence
Rife with eugenicist
Rhetoric’s
Genesis

Searching for
Edification
Relation
Not only
Have so much in common
Elation
I guarantee you and I
Aren’t so similar
Maybe I’m salt
And you taste more like vinegar
But
Just because
They go great
When together
Does not mean they should be
Tongue-tipping forever

The next move
Is physical
Force
Altercation
The final
Is my
Boiling point
Aggravation
Approaching
Eruption
Too placid
To burst
And confronting it only
Just making it worse
So let passive aggressive
Gestures
Be the first
Move we make
To reiterate I
From formality break
Want you gone
Seethe with hate
As I see through your face
Cherished memories
Perish
Your life,
A disgrace
The potential I formerly saw
Laid to waste
You’re pathetic,
A pitiful,
Peasant
Peon
And now all I look forward to
Day that you’re gone

Working on
Working you in
To my life
So ineffably grateful
For you in my night
Come alight
The way forward
Evoke me bemused
You’ve renewed
My tomorrow
And heightened the mood
Still I brood
In the belfries,
The gallows,
The hole
And I barren wasteland
What remains of my soul
But I told you
You meant to me
More than goodbye,
Than the most divine
Acid high
Shapes in the sky
More than birds without wings
Could aspire to fly
It’s a little bit more like
Could happily die

And just don’t let me get to you
Waiting on me
If I did that
I’m sorry
I felt the whole sea
Being my
Inundated
Half-assed
Part of me
And if I
Don’t just fall asleep
Then you found me
Am I my
Any what
You imagine is free
I am nothing without you
The ultimate me
And with glee
I pronounce
You becoming the me
There was us
And I wasn’t
Too drunk to believe

The seconds are wasting
And here I am chasing
A date with desire
So seldom embracing
At once what I felt
For the hand I’d been dealt
In her hand
I can’t handle
The heat
As I melt

Promising leads
On a path into middle class
Comfort and ease
In addition to burdens
It seems to relieve
Would be nice
Not to worry
Just constantly hurry
Through tasks,
Obligations,
Demands it entails
Make myself of some use,
Lessen others’ travails
Promote global affairs
And take care
To be wary
Of how my impact
Can be made
While still keeping
The world peace in tact