The one and only
Eye beholden
To a work of art’s
Emotion
Is induced,
Mass reproduced
This day in age
How disengaged
We have become
How inauthentic
Pixels dumb
Us down and numb us
To the sun
Last time I saw it through a lens
Of not on Instagram depends
To deem its gleam
Value aesthetic
More synthetic
Than cosmetic

How sleep takes a hold
Of me now
Is astounding
Where formerly
Insomnia
The clock rounding
Unbound
By my childish fears
There is only
Exhaustion by day
And still go to bed lonely
Though not for a lack
Of a special companion
Just prep
For eventually
She might abandon
Me standing there
Fooling myself
To the last
I learn more from then now
Than I do from the past

Do I still have to say it
It’s mass exploitation
An ******
Free of charge
Pain mitigation
Salvation for all
Gullible
To be told
Just forget
The real suffering world
And behold
The eternal one,
Die to believe
Lies we tell ourselves
Honestly
Offer reprieve
From atrocity’s cost
And the loss
We bereave
But deceive you no longer
The lordly class can
When you take up the hammer and sickle
In hand

Dismal despair
And decrepit decay
I could wander on
Thinking about you
All day
And reviewing each syllable
Letter intended
To make me
Agreeable
Never offended
And neither you
Tried to do
Anything doomed
I just wanted to see you
And me
On the shrooms

Can’t be changed
Without action
‘Till then it’s just words
Movement gains
Create traction
By practicing verbs
But perhaps paradoxically
Both coincide
If you think about doing
In all forms of rhyme
For the pen, like a sword
Is a weapon you wield
And to foes of the former
The latter revealed
Inspiration to wage
The just causes belie
That you don’t need to ****
To still powers defy

Brain begins to die  
Thinking only
You will die  
And the moment
That you know it
You implode in
Can’t deny
There is no waking to
Another day
Unmaking
Past mistakes
Too late
No chance to change
The minds of fate
When deemed
Condemned
To suffocate

The power of our words
More than ever
Consequential
Merely publicly  
Expelling them
Can earn yourself
A medal
Or a cancellation
Fee
Discontinued,
Disavowed,
Disowned,
Disposed
Dismissively
So how to speak
And what to write
Nothing I say
Is ever right
And everybody is a victim
Of appropriated
Plight
And all their trauma
Melodrama
Just a newsfeed
To recite
A misinformed
Discord
Disorder
Terms
Conditioned
To comply
So keep it scrolling
Keep me posted
Only if
You tell me why

Wretched blood-sucker
You thief in the night
Not a moment of peace
As I’m trying to write
And you land on my skin
To steal my precious life
And of yours is the only form
I would delight
In the taking of
With no remorse
For your plight
You malaria carrying
Pestilent sprite
What in heavens above us
Conceived of your type?
Be it some impish god
Who finds joy in my strife?
As I viciously claw
At the spot of your bite
Tiny irritant buzzing
About me in flight
I would tear off each wing
Out of impassioned spite
Yet am still left to question
What gives me the right?

Senescence in dissonance
Vanishing empathy
Shadow peripheries
Routine
Is sanctity
Memory
Failing me
Try as I might
To prevail
Something ailing me
Veiled
In impermanence
Desperate to last
As if rest of our lives
Before eyes
Hasn’t flashed
Past already
It’s heavy
The burden of knowing
The growing pain
Slows
When you cease
Undergoing
Imperative change
To the honeymoon
Phase
And with one simple phrase
Until death’s
How it stays

But no one wants
Trauma
The triggers
The switches
The wounds
Never heal
Until buried
In ditches
And tearing at seams
Of the poorly sewn stitches
Cannot be resisted
When tragedy strikes
When the moment’s
Resurgence
Resurfaces plights
And when sickness ensues
And envelops the nights
It’s this desperate outcry
Silently
My pen writes

The high society
Hive variety
Narrow
Mindlessly
Anxiety
Actively striving
To overprescribing
To first do no harm
Just alarmingly
Medicate
Future doomsdays
To preemptively
Automate
On our behalf
Now it’s teaching the class
Some in front
Some in back
And the ones in the lead
Still don’t know how to act
Just be taught to succeed
To monopolize need
With a pedigree
Meriting
Ivy League greed
And proceed to convince us  
Its capital gains
From the poisons it pumps
Through our varicose veins
And the garbage it dumps
In our wishy wash brains
All the same
In the ways it uplifts
And enriches
The rest of us
Broke in
Its system-wide glitches

Ate too much
Drank too much
But it’s been days
Since I even absorbed
More than morbid malaise
Oh I know
I went there
All alone
Without fear
But I dread
Megan dread
We would ever be here
And her name is still fresh
On my lips
All the same
And my friends are still
Numero
Uno
Unchanged
But it’s different these days
We get weird
But estranged
To the simplest things we
Ever said
Disengage
At the first sign of trouble
We try and explain
How it happened
Elapsed in
Some time we perceive
Although few can still answer
What do you believe?
I’d say us
As it was
But so much is gone
Can not recover
The dawn
Looks enticing
Inviting me on
But I’d rather it end
Before then,
Curtains drawn

So this is how dying feels
Rotting inside
In decay,
Decomposing
You’d think I’m alive,
That I’m perfectly fine
At first glance
Who could think
This goes on in my mind?
Like a bottle of ink

So carnivorous sheep,
Telling me what to eat
Check your life-
Taking knife
Before swallowing meat
Or just leave me alone,
You know?
Why even go?
Down that road
When the river,
Though withering
Flows
Not unto the dead end
Of development goals
But to refuse-seas rising
To diamonds from coals

They teach you to ****
That the only tomorrow
Is waking up sorrow
And working for bills and a bottle of pills
And in products they sell you
Steel bends to their wills
Oh, but you’ll never make it
Continue to break it
Their system just teaches you
How you must take it

What claimants
In vain
Challenge my
Right to reign
Over pages’
Precipitous,
Outpouring pain
You’re in my domain now
So sit back
And shut up
And just simply stop reading
When you’ve had enough

Immersed in new roles
Disappearing in me
If I get any closer to death
I am free
But I might just keep playing
This game every day
I can meet
And delete you
The same
Unafraid
To be severed
From ties
Tirelessly I knotted
And weathered the storm
Like a pumpkin patch
Rotted
Forgotten again
Is the ink in my pen
And despite how it pains me
I still write its end

These are the words
Of one who has broken
With hope
Long ago
I can socialize
Well enough
Leave me alone
But enjoy it sometimes
What the others might say
Every now and then one
Or two
Welcome to stay
If they manage to deftly
Display their intriguing
Intelligence,
Intellect
Make me believing
Keep speaking
You have my permission,
I’ll listen
But bore me,
I’ll make myself scarce
Of opinion
You won’t get a peep out of me
After that
I don’t mean to be rude
Just exclude the chitchat

As ever the wandering radical writes
Of the fight
He so gently delights in
The plight
Of the people
He sees all around
Superficially equal
But far more profound
Underneath
Individual
Layers abound
Inner rebels he knows
At the roots
The seed grows  
From the blood-sodden earth
Of his dripping red prose

Leave it to me
Let me write what you need
I could feed you on barely enough
Left to eat
Or on dollars a day
Make it one way
Or other
Provide for you
Luxury’s
Status wealth lover
But little else I
Could imagine
We’d want
But I bet at least some
Impish trinket
Would taunt
Us to selling out vision
For dead inside living
Be happy,
Be housed
Have a feast on Thanksgiving

No ghosts of Christmas
Long deceased
Could bring this
Bitter recluse
Peace
Can’t make me feel
Appeals to reason
Nor good tiding’s
Seasons greetings
Leading to
My guilt admission
No persistent
Apparition
Yields my penitent
Submission
Crippled-Cratchet-crutch
Contrition
Errant in my unapparent
Heir
I bare
The lion’s share
Of wealth, it’s mine
I do not care
Of other’s health
Or ill-repine
No petty pity
Robs me blind
Nor filthy pauper’s paws
A dime
Shall ever from mine own
Divest
So spooks
I beg you
Let me rest
And leave me to
My undisturbed
Lamenting torments
I deserved
Accursed by misfortunes
Earned
Still haunted by
The lovers spurned
Hellfire hath
My bridges burned
So turn from me,
Depart,
Be gone
Fell spectral fiends
Before the dawn’s
Unbearable
Arising heralds
More unwelcome
Christmas carols

They had a big heart
Know they did
Why they died
They were living
For eating
And dying inside
Unreservedly love
They imparted to others
But bound to their
Cravings
The decadence
Smothers
And deeper
In deeper-dish
Dissonance
Lingers
The blood sugar
Insulin
Plantation’s cane
Now the Neo-Monopoly’s
Game of weight gain

Trusted
Can you be
Not some day
Disgusted
By who me
Is currently
Trying to
**** with
How long before you
Growing old
Place the blame
On the gray
Eats your face away,
Love me the same?
Could you still
Find a pill
That would will it to power,
Coax me from the shell
When I’m tepid and dour
As I become
Who I can’t hide anymore
The two facets,
A *******’s
Pacifist
Casket
Denotes composition
Of journalist dissidence
Thought that was your job
Then how did it get to this?
Lack of communicative
Former kids
In idyllic
Umbilical cords
Severed from
What the last plane attached them to
Back to you come

Still insignificant
Couldn’t have mattered
Could never have felt
What I felt for her shattered
Before me
It all falls apart
On a screen
She believes only evil
Intentions could scheme
To misuse and abuse her
But only I lose
Precious time,
Peace of mind,
And her radical muse
When it changes its tune
With extremes in polarity
Doubts it could work
Due to income disparity
Verity all I have tried
To impart
But to her
There is simply
No love in the heart
Is it just an abyss
Fatalist
All alone
As she wanders and squanders
All place to call home

There was Africa me
No one wanted to be around
Couldn’t so much
As set foot on the ground
Make a sound
That was welcome
Contentious abounded
Whatever I said
Or I did
Or I didn’t do
Already
Dead
Now there’s back at home me
Land of liberty
Bound
Unemployed
But enjoying
A stroll into town
And a run in the park
Past a people who know me
Don’t throw stones
Or shade
And don’t try to control me
Just let me go
On my way
‘Bout my day
Only slowing to smile
And wave
No delay
But still something is missing
Some sense
Of community
Lost in a country
This virus
Is ruining

Ahead of myself
Guess she gets
What I’m thinking
Can’t stare at her too long
Without even blinking
Not veering
Nor shying away
From her gaze
Wondering
If she sees me
In all the same ways
But it could be
She happened to speak to me
Kindly
That makes me so hopeless
Romantically
Blinded

Distance makes
The heart grow fonder
Of without her
Love to ponder
All the ways
She makes me somber
Inadvertently
Of course
Correct, directs me
To the source
Of what enabled
Transformation
Now deprived
Of its sensation
Placed her in
Recessive corners
Confines of
Mental disorders
Where at least
She lives in thought
But dies in what
Was better sought

Hard to commit
When no one gives a ****
When it’s literally
You vs. the world
Call it quits
On convictions
Why give them
A second thought’s
Mindful devotion
When most people
Can’t even fathom
The notion
Surprisingly, as it could be
When religions
Of most
Contain similar
Selfless traditions
At least in description
But seldom in practice
Hypocrisy
Still spins the world
On its axis

Take away King Leo’s pride
Then hit ‘em with that good Versailles
Go high, go low
Go left, go right
But always ask them why
They fight
What do they think unites
Us all
This urban sprawl?
This shopping mall?
This image of a better world
That’s not so small
It’s pitiful
That few have more
And most have less
And some don’t even have access
To food and water
Education
All the power
Man’s created
Channeled through a common language

But you wouldn’t **** me
For I am you too
And I know how you think,
All the things that you do
You would seek first to reason
With me,
Make amends
But I am not interested in
Being friends
A reflection
A reckoning with
The self schism,
The guilt in the shadows
Of our dualism
Division
Illusion
Distinction
Discerned
In divergent
Confusion
Conditioned and learned
But the image is spitting
Identical soul
And you can not escape
I’m a part of your
Whole
Other world you keep hidden,
Pretend not to notice
Uncanny resemblance’s
Symbiosis

Still find myself passively
Waiting to die
But still tryna’ live life
With a reason to try
To do something productive
I’m always so useless
Can’t even make food for myself
It is fruitless

When reaching the brink
Take a step back and stare
At the rest of the world
To remind me to care
A bit less
About frivolous nonsense at work
One more email detail
That I miss
Isn’t worth
The discouraged,
Demoralized,
Downright
Defeatist
Default to disdain
For these office elitists
When it
Isn’t perfectly preened,
Polished etiquette
Judgment and drudgery
Dress-rehearsed rhetoric
Better yet
Let me explain
My mistakes
At a pace
All too hasty
And cutting the brakes
On the full speed ahead
Destination soon dead
And the tire treads’
Only distraction
Is dread
That I’m digging my grave
Where I’m building my home,
That I’m going in circles
Where I used to roam

Just when it seems hopeless
You find it really is
When caving in upon you comes
The crumbling edifice
And in the midst of utter ruin
All around you lie the pieces
Of foundations and formations
You believed in
But were specious
At their best
Like drawing out your final breath
As if you could inhale
The rest of time
Before you failed
Its test

But you must see the signs,
Kindly just take a look
All semantics aside
Lines inside of this book
That you don’t necessarily
Read in between
To define nonetheless
What it actually means

A wrathful
Shameful
Sordid soul
My sole objective
Lose control
No goal I haven’t yet
Achieved
Except forget her face
Aggrieved
When my temptation
Can’t resist
Alluring me into the midst
Of dissolution’s
Weather vane
I wither in
The acid rain
And can’t contain
The desert thirsting
Don’t come closer
Bubble bursting
Worst of all
My uses few
Eschew from trying
Something new
If all it costs
Is gainful time
Another daily
Nickel
Dime

They say
We make better
The world
With each level
We add
To the sky-scraping
Business or pleasure
Purchased
Edifice
Houses us
In its midst
Of a million plus
Hastily
Working bees buzzing
To underground tunnels
Of loveless
Night-clubbing
With parks to roam free
And breathe easy
From smog,
From the dust
In our lungs
Of the rusting
Of cogs
In industrial districts
Resistant to changes
Of carbon foot-prince’s
Monopoly games
Played in technocrat hubs
As rat races in slums
Go unpaid
And still trade
On the stock market’s
Crumbs
But such bums
Are unsightly,
Unseemly,
Untidy
And so
Garbage trucks
Come dispose of them
Nightly
And rightly so
As we go
Higher and higher
To enter a state of mind’s
Timeless empire
Regardless how dire
The subjects below
Are presented on screens
And the terrors
They show
As some
Sanctuary
Reveries
Of perfection
To sympathy’s
Pitifully
Praying pretension
As if it were really
Our kids in detention
Suspended like bridges
Still spanning attentions
Of six-second sexting
Emoticons pressing
More hot-button issues
Than functions
Need stressing
Out more
Than elitists dread eating
And salad un-dressing
Progressing though always
An ever-ascension
These marvelous feats
Of our greatest invention

It is man who has fallen enamored with suffering
Heartbreakingly aching yet hoping the pain won’t end
Then would it mean that his lover is gone again
Leaving him in a perpetual neutralness
Indifference in the face of his last abyss

Assume I was
Already gone
Or more clearly
Appeared to you
Never again
As I nearly
Perfected the image
Envisioned
Sincerely
But seldom signed off
As beloved
As dearly

Been days since I last
Read it out loud
And past
By the time
I had put on
And took off the mask
I was lying in sand
To appear at my best
To relax, be at ease
In the peace
I attest
To have witnessed,
Experienced,
Felt moving through
But I lost it,
Misplaced it,
Forgot its face too
I erased her,
Defaced her
Still frame in my mind
Then I tried to replace it
With some other kind
Though it proved to be
Soon
Unappealingly basic
And couldn’t quite infiltrate
My secret bases
Just brace for in fact
This is not gunna’ last
Until I read it out again
To you at last

Take up my perch
And resume
Thoughts of you
Plan ahead
What to say
At our next
Rendezvous
What to play
Listed out
Bits and pieces of songs
All remind me of you
When you can’t come along
And as I gaze upon
The Pacific
I ponder
Just how aimlessly
Without you
Could I wander

You doubt me
Forget
I am foremost
A writer
I struggle to speech
As you reach for the lighter
And right here contained
In this page
Is my rage
Is my pain,
Is my stage,
Is my rat in a cage
And I made this for you
When I can’t see your face
When you run
When you hide
And deny my embrace
Only pulling you closer
Not pulling you down
We both see rising seas
But your preference is drown
Where instead I would float
Though albeit, adrift
Even if
My last breath
Was bereft
Of your kiss

Don't think about her
Nearly as much
As I used to
By now I am used to
The miles away
And the days that roll
Carelessly by
Cannot change
The estrangement I felt
The last time in her presence
As I would draw near
To the end of my sentence
She would without hesitance
Preoccupy
Her pretty little mind
With excuses for why
Her and I
Could not be
Brought together in moments
That felt more like
We

At least now
I get back to this
Mired in meaningless
Never the writer
I thought I would be
Just the one
Who gets by
On emotionally
Unapproachably
Truculent
Daily dose supplement
Of my deficient
Self-worth
Ego shattering
Into a million persona
Brains splattering
All across
Can’t carry on
Not the same
But my noose is indifference
The rope is existence
Resistance again
My futility pen
Proudly pressing its muses
To paper
To savor
Unfortunate cycles
Of bliss turned to anger
Whenever I fail
To maintain
The “my” concept
Own up to the tragic flaw
There from the onset

So much more to them
Than animal
These humans who survive
On half a dollar every day
A god to pray to make them thrive
And feel alive
Sometimes, a vibe
That they describe and can personify
With what lives in
Their mind
Sometimes
A million ways to question why
We weren’t given wings
To fly
So high into the heavens
Where the dreamers go
To say goodbye

Always hiding
Holding back
Authentic selves
With whom we clash
Urbane, genteel
Affluent act
Exactly what the poor deride
The rich don’t even like the type
In spite of how behaving like
A snobbish, pompous
Socialite
Seems to pay off
A little less
Than cheap escorts
In fancy dress
Could ever make
Themselves elite
Just urchins playing in the street

Without turmoil
Turning from turbulent
Trials
To what I’ve compiled
In more secret files
How miles and miles
I’ve traveled and tread
To eventually find
What goes on in my head
Is a spiraling
Virally
Spreading
Contagion
The rage
Can’t contain
The mass grave
I am caged in
Before
In my bouts
Of capricious good luck
I have sought after
Found
Raking long in the muck
A compassionate partner
To clean up my act
To provide me a peace
I’ve so ceaselessly
Lacked

I saw some people
In need
And I helped them
Some way
Shape or form
For a moment
I felt them
But also saw
Opportunistic
Endeavors
Fortuitous chances
To watch how it weathers
In whether or not
I decide
To be tending
Acculturation’s
Cultivations
Ascending
To more hungry lion’s
Shares
First feeding me
And what’s left of the carcass
Society
I would sell to the vultures
At auction
And keep
The pride rock
For my kind
To impregnably sleep
And in promises steeped
In self-serving deceit
Subjugate
Sycophantic
Hyena
Elite
And as long as no
Exiled kings
Should contend
You will never go hungry again…
And again

Tasks and podcasts
What I do for a living
Is can’t help but ask
When I fail,
Be forgiving
Please don’t get frustrated
Irate with me,
Makes me
Go crazy
In shellshocked anxiety
Coming off lazy,
Aloof
Or ungrateful,
Another white privilege kid’s
Pride is disgraceful
But only to eyes
Of untrained
Office spaces,
I see through their looking
Class consciousness
Faces