Hey you guise
What is really your name
What primordial phantoms
Still dance in the rain
What enchants you
Romances your
Dark necromancy
And grants its surrender
Without sycophancy
Reveals inner-workings
Of secrets entombed
What it feels
Like a gentle,
Identical wound
And it sees through
To where
You must shed
The veneer
And it shows you the way
That you truly appear

Just wanted to go
Through the time flow with you
When it was more convenient
To let it resume
At a later date
Procrastinating
What fate
Might have preordained  
Only in movies
Afraid
It so seldom transpires
Or seems to unfold
Quite the same
Way, astray
Is with whom I grow old

I rhymed it once
I rhymed it before
Long before
The first quill and ink
Wept of Lenore
Not comparing
Just sharing
My prowess apart
From the influence
All predecessors
Impart
It was dark when I found it
Was gifted its light
And by night I unbound it
In what I must write
Not for pay,
Recognition,
Nor artistry
Rendered
In ways
I’ve conditioned
Myself
To remember
It’s some more inherent,
Innate primal urge
To from my peace of mind
The disturbances purge

Inimitable
All comparison pales
Evoke the grandeur
Of my hubris
In your cautionary tales
For if it fails
To tell your story
Better than
Yourself
It loses
Right to choose its
Fallen angels
To your detri-
Mental muses
And the few
Who take control
And can command
Their true potential
Seldom further still
Master the skill
Of making instrumental
What no artist
In my presence
Would pretentiously proclaim,
This is talent,
This is gifted,
This is critical acclaim
Without first
Due credit given
Driven by
A motivation
Inclination to creation
From some source of inspiration

I still pen the end
In elusive conclusions
Await to be mated
To lovely illusions
Entombed in her absence
Submerged in the flows
But exhumed from sepulchers
Too grim to expose
So diverged from the path
She prefers it to go
And when she doesn’t answer
No more I need know
Just proceed to my ritual
Silence forlorn
Like she’s already dead
And I can
Never mourn
Just lament the unsaid
Full of dread
She cares not
All these songs in my head
But to play them
Forgot

You don’t seem like
The small talk
Kind
So tell me
What is
On your mind
And in your heart
What claims
Your soul
What urges
Can you not
Control
Withhold
What you’d prefer to share
What most in public
Wouldn’t dare
Divulge
If it indulges sleep
You can’t be sure
Your secrets keep
Or that I’d seek
To understand
Reciprocate
Your candor
And
Expect
My intellect
To match
Gratuities
Preferred
In cash

I am the dungeon-est
Crab
Random bag
That you grab
When indifference
To existence
Is a hit,
A pull,
A drag
We can’t be all
Devoid of meaning
Surely reason
In believing
Am I wrong?
But what is right?
Who is to say?
I merely write

Farther down
Than ever
I have ventured in
Uncertain
Unaware I was becoming
But an agent
Of subversion
So averse
To any orders
But abide by natural law
And only broken on
The impact
Of my fatal
Tragic flaw

Turn back shadow
Now go
Be away with you
No more coercing
My gaze
I’m afraid of you
Beckon me over
No longer
You siren,
For I am
Tonight’s
Disengage from this
Tyrant
And I will still staunchly oppose
The compliers
And tally the taking of tongues
Of the liars  
So hold yours
And head for
The way you came in
Anything you could say
Unoriginal sin
And much to my
Still grinning
Chagrin
****** bin
I know I
Cannot finish
What you can’t begin

I live with the stains
Past mistakes
On my conscience
And even now bleed
With the greed
Of my prophets
Not lost yet
Though searching
Sustaining
Pursuit
Of the purses
Of suits
And laborious
Fruits
For recursive
Reversion
Reflective
Reboots
Institutions
Mishandled
Dismantled
Since youth
But from root
To rerouting
My satellite orbited
All the exorbitant kingdoms
Deforested
Vastly too much
Of the natural
Progression
Made their own
Built their home
Price this possession
On value
Inherently
Lacking the man
To put into effect
An economy plan
Should the whole
Hulking edifice
Green in its gills
Let the market consume him
And claim what he kills

Older now
Commonplace pain
Doesn’t go away
See no way out
Of reality
Colored gray
Every day
Just a redo
Of the last
Except now
It just costs more
Repeating the past
While insisting
I work
For a future
Precarious
Wary this rigmarole
More multifarious
Than its vicariously
Living god
Has implanted
More various paths
Than the time we’ve been granted
Could possibly tread
In its dread disposition
Just hopes
The one chosen
Leads not to
Remission

I deem the divine
Out of time, as I court them
Impregnate the fates
Till I choose to abort them
The muses my brood
I imbue with the spark
And by my hand the arrows
Of Eros to mark
Have inspired the vehement
Seed of creation
To gush from the brush’s
Unbridled temptation
In lust germination
Bore lush dripping red
Misconceptions of my
Hellenistic skin shed
And in discordant dreams
I’ve enchanted naive
Lonely Edens and watched
As they died to believe
That beyond me exists
An escape from the end
That conception itself
Does not to my will bend

Trapped in this
Continuum
The time it takes
To come undone
To disassemble
Incremental
Steps
To make it all connect
Trajectory
Made linear
More easily
To redirect
The wayward
Stream of conscious
Wanders
From
What it
So blithely squanders

Now the collapse
Of malicious intent
Evident
Since
Investment
In overpriced rent
For the tenement
Slumlord
Evicting
Dismissing
The neediest
Dreamer ingredient
Tents
Much prefers  
The exclusive
Live interview
Strips
Real estate
In conversion
To e-stated
Whips

They need you to want
They want you to need
Everything you don’t need
For to feed
And to breed
And relinquish your greed
Now to sleep go with you
And allow me to seed
What you dream with my schemes
What you need to be freed
Is control of the means
So that you may awaken
From gardens of greens
And see that success is not happiness, no
And nor is it found in the places you’ll go
You are under a spell of a wicked design
So I offer instead
From my sick, twisted mind
A love potion I’ve brewed
In the land before time
Come and swing from the mood
Of my suicide crime
For my primeval plot
Is to **** you with rhyme
It’s already too late
You are already mine

Where do they come from
Up out of the drain
In the trash can they swarm
Can not hope to contain
Them in seemingly ceaseless
Invasions each day
If I leave but a speck
Of a crumb
They will stay
Inexplicable ways
They can bite me all over
And scratching
And clawing
Ensues
On my shoulder
I just want them gone
Many thousands I’ve killed
But unyielding formations
Are soon to rebuild
And their armies outnumber
My patience in seconds
As pest control’s number
More audibly beckons
But last thing I need
A homeowner’s expense
When the rent’s too **** high
Write it off
As incensed

Another step closer
To hitting the road
On my own again
I intend
To bring it home
And I’m trying
Ambitious as ever
To make it
To seek the best fit
And then someday forsake it
For now I must break with
The dream
Temporarily
Maybe forever
From childhood fantasies
Fading to never

What downtrodden trails
Have I failed
To get paved
What uplifting travails
Upon my heart engraved
Have all made out
Like bandits,
Like hopeless romantics
Like kings and queens gambits
And Goldilocks planets
Beholden
To therein
The sunset is glimpsed
In ephemeral remnants
Of vacated bliss

Not looking
To hit it big
Get rich quick scheme
Or to chase
Unattainable,
Puerile dreams
I’m not prospecting gold
Or a silicon monger
I just want my own
Little slice
Of less hunger
Plucked from paradise
An adventure or two
If it’s not too much trouble
Determine my place
And embrace what the struggle
Assuredly takes
Me off in the direction
That leads me to former lives
Formal defection

Footprints
In the once
Frozen tundra
Where hunts
Of mammalian
Mega-fauna
Fed for months
The forerunners
Who tread
Never lightly
Though impacted slightly
The snow-packing,
Packs of tracks
Fleeing them nightly
Yet still none escaped
Extirpation events
Imminent in the state
Human nature’s
Expense
A propensity
Intensively cultivating
Immense cities
And firmaments
We’ve invented
Still plentifully drenched
In its carbon-based
Thinking
With senses entrenched
In an ubermensch quenching
His thirst for extinction
Another coaled-age,
Icy gaze
In the blinking
Of time’s
Neutral eyes
Rising tides
We are sinking
Like links in the chain
To oblivion’s depths
Anchored to
What remains
Whence prehistory slept
Undisturbed for millennia
Secrets in keeping
Contained
A methane
Climate change’s
Deceasing
A species from breeding
And breathing the air
And with no heir apparent
Forever unleashing
Destruction inherent
Inheritance-reaping
Peace-speaking
Tongue lizards,
Heart blizzards
Heat-seeking
A homeostasis
Of polar sun-tans
In a verdant oasis
Of frigid wastelands

Vengeance or justice
A thinning blue line
They mete it out
Dole it out
Punish the crime
Keep us safe
Keep us facing
The wall
In disgrace
Like we’re already guilty
But make no mistake
They are just the slave-catchers
The shackles and chains
Their immunity
Qualified
By the bloodstains
On the pavement,
The backpacks,
The halls of our homes
And their failure
To serve
And protect us
Arose
From systemically racist
Agendas
And schemes
To be for-profit prison’s
Enforcement machines

This is weird no?
I take it,
You don’t want to fake it
But have better things
To be doing
Than making
Me try to feel less
So alone
For so many
Days home
I was solely
Without you already
And though we’ve been further apart
In the past
There was just let you go
Or we’ll grow up too fast
At least once before
Can’t lead you on anymore,
Can’t eventually bore you,
We’re born to explore
And I knew one of your
Adventure
Caliber
Couldn’t wait idly by
And be my
Passenger
Like ambassadors
We represented conventions
Too grand in their narrative scale
Comprehensions
To ever let ours
So submissively sit,
Ponder it,
Then commit
To the lack of Movement

Seeking replacements
In case she erases
Me from the equation
Of all the time wasted
Amounted to nothing
But somebody else
I can’t get your attention
Just go **** myself
And expelled from your sight
For a screen
Only means
There is no you and I
Just a couple
Just fiends

Don’t take it personal
Illness is terminal
Turned us
Into
Something else
Indiscernible
From the non-verbalize
Gerbils
Still running
Around the unyielding wheel’s
Torturous fortune
Inside a vivarium
Social distortion
Where trickle down
Sustenance
Keeps us appeased
And whatever they feed us
Much sooner diseased
Ever farther from freed
We are just pets in hands
Of the gods of greed
Squeezed

Waiting game
Changing
And entering overtime
Interviews better
Unfolding
Inside my mind
Where I don’t have to be
Dressed to impress
To be nervous-calm
Nullified’s
Stuttering mess
But the pressure
Is lifted
By others of vision
Who understand
Novice’s provenance
Mission
Begins with intentions
And ends with the skills
Understands I am here
Not to merely pay bills

In here
You’re with me
At my mercy,
Behest
At my beck and call
Call me
By what I do best
What I claim
Domain name
Is eternal unrest

For in here
I decide
What to give to the night
What to offer
The coffers
Of can’t see the light
Ever seeking in vain
Domain name
What to write

When in here
We’re at home
But a whirlwind
Alone  
Overthrown
Though unconquered
Dominions I roam
For I came
Domain name
As I etched it
In stone

Weekend away
Weakened in this new state
I feel aging
Contagion
My veins permeate
Permanent
Mental illness
Sequestered aside
For it goes undefined
But still no where to hide
The whole time
I’ve exhausted
My options
Are toxins
For fun
Has become
An impossible topic
Discussion
Just leave me alone
I’m not talking
Except to
The me’s that I’m prone
To prepare
To pretend
To prevent hitting send
Doesn’t get any sadder
Just happily end

Though haunting
To sleep beside
Restless anxiety
Knowingly some of it
My
Impropriety
Life
Seems a far more  
Heartbreaking affair
If you are not
Somehow
In my everywhere
For when barely a prayer
Anymore
Can sustain us
Your faith in me
Loyalty
Truly explains us
And you are the sing
To my song
Only one
Who has sung me a serenade
Back
To show love
Even when
Not of words
But expression
Reform it
Your warm embrace
Tireless grace
So adorns it
In some more transcendent
More sacred
Devotion
My dearest,
My Evi,
The moon to my ocean

Trepidation invades
From the furthest recesses
Have only my doubt
And my clout
To express it
Out there on my own
With a people unknown
Despite growing familiar
With what they call home
Mana koo is still far
Hiriyoota apart
From each other and I
Am an alien sort
Of explorer, not brave
Not of fearless, just restless
And careless as thought
I put into my lessons
Concerned only with
How to scrounge my next meal
Only truth ascertained
I don’t know how I feel

Could be verge of all collapsing
On the brink of giving in
But when I get there
Weight is lifted
And the blissful can begin
And when I see it
Stand beside it
In bewildered
Awe-inspired
Is the restlessness
Of past transgressions
Finally retired
What transpired
Be it sordid
Or unfortunate
Or scary
Is diminished
To the minuscule
Minutiae  
That I bury
In the sand between my toes
The ebb and flows
The drift away
From all the gloom
Marooned again
Upon the solace shores I lay

Could call it karma
Whatever that is
Could’ve easily lost it
With nothing to give
Left to show
For myself
Just keep playing the game
With the hand I’ve been dealt
But I’m tired of drawing
Unusable cards
And then building my house
Of collapsing glass shards
And graveyards
Are unearthing
The rest of this piece
In my rest in peace
World hunger
Selfishness feast
But I have to come first
On my list of priorities
Tamed and coerced
By the proper authorities
Warring
And *******
And snoring
Like boars
As the gunman just walks through
The school’s open doors

So seldom invoke
The decider
Of time
When the shears come to sever
The consciousness mind
From the body
Divine
Is a comedy
Crime
When committed
Is smitten
And often is written
By what she
Determines
Of gods
Is unbidden

How proud I have been
Have my head in the wind
And have silenced the sirens
With whom I have sinned
And though kindling
These days
Fell, deforested jungles
She has my whole soul
And the hubris it humbles
The thunder upon
The awaiting oasis
Keeps secrets
In seeking
My moribund waste pits
Embraces me
Equally
Scared or supreme
And then beckons my wanderlust
Back to redeem
What remains of my
Virtuous,
Purposeless
Quest
And my failure
To care
If I pass the attest
To some legacy
Memory
Somehow its haunting me
Long before I
Hyper-sleep in the pod  
Having never found
Such a more flawed
Human god

It’s in fearing I would lose you
So ironically
I did
Although presuming that I “had” you
Was a claim
We’d both forbid
And so refraining
From what makes you
Say you’re happy
And me not
The never certainty
Perversity
Poked holes into the plot  
And the conclusion
Was the usual
Disaster tragedy
But you remain
The most endearing,
Most enduring
Casualty

Once you let go
It has taken its hold
So set out in the world
Let your story unfold
All of life is a journey
A tale to be told
The ones we remember
Are written in bold

She sits in a room
All alone
All day sobbing
Her brain overheats
In anxiety throbbing
And lobbing grenades
Upon rainy parades
Is the only way she
Can ensure the pain fades
Crossing over again
To succumb and suppress
She still seems
In control
But is a
Complete mess
But her kind
Of frenetic
Magnetic
To me
She stills pulls me
As if
The full moon
To my sea

Free peoples
Inherently equals
In status
Yet countless “illegals”
Made sheep in the paddock
Like bouts of the measles
Proliferate panic
Dehumanized by
A contrived apparatus
To those who resist
Cognitive dissonance
Dissidents
Do we want peace
And security
Caged?
Or do we want a war
So unlawfully waged?
On the ways
We identify
Seek affirmation
The species
Is specious
Compared to
The nation

Yet to be gainful
If anything painful
The way that it made me
Too smart for my good
Now I can’t seem to do
Anything
Others would
For potential
Ambition
Or just the objective
Rent check
And utilities
Maybe a pension
I’m just apprehensive
Another failed test
I excelled in the class
But forgot all the rest
When the glass sky impressed
Upon me
Other visions
And making a living
Was suddenly
Prisons
Sooner the grave
Than careers in decay
Student debt
And degrees
Dust collecting
Display

I don’t deserve to reproduce
To be alive
To even breathe
But don’t feel obligated to
Start holding yours
Until I leave

Raising awareness
Of critical issues
As helpful as therapy’s
Box full of tissues
And raising funding
Fundamentally flawed
When elected officials
Just sit and applaud
No, you really want change?
Then it must be sought after
The fact, only act
Out the selfish disaster
Pertaining to me
Rising seas
At my door
Or else don’t be the one
Knocking on it for more

My dearest enchantress
My last second
Chances
Romance is revitalized
There by your side
Most profound
When I’m down
In the ground
Where I died
Or a part of me did
And there’s no resurrection
Not sure if a god
Would undo my transgression
No furthermore lessons
Nor tutoring sessions
No gainful employment
Of actual skill
Just robotic hack protocols
Running the mill
With their judgment,
Indifference,
All empathy lacking
Forgive and forget
Would be humans reacting
But no, cast me out
Revoke my
Humble claim
Make the smallest mistake
The worst I ever made

To me you’re all crazy
And I’m just the lazy one
Languish alone
Often talk to myself
Like a friend on the phone
As I watch you all
Frantically
Manically
Panicking
Planning
And scamming
Your lives
Micromanaging
Hyper-aware
You are barely
Apparent
And desperately try
To be not so
Aberrant
To fit in
And blend
And comply
Without end
In pursuit of delusions
Just playing pretend
The solution
The problem
Is how much you spend
But I know the price paid
We can’t hide from the grave
And I’ll take it to mine
As the one who’s depraved

******
In my loneliest sorrow
Foreboding
Yet for
Her I do
Know I have to keep going

Atoned
For my failing
My feeling
Like ****
By unmaking myself
More becomingly numb

Then disowned
But immersed
In material worlds
In my alienation
Recounting the girls

I bemoaned
Of my heartache
Uniquely
Distinct
As if no other lovers
Expressively inked

Their enthroned
In eternal
Forevers unfolding
Just finally found mine
In her close to me
Holding

Dispossession
My enduring lesson
Failing only banks
Who fail to serve me
Up
A Great Depression
Ever there
To pull us out
With more rearmament
Equations
And a place
To place to the blame
On those subversive  
Of persuasion
For the fist of righteous order
Must come firmly first
Then swiftly
How the furies of
Its mighty fallen
Favored fortunes
Gift me
Overzealousness
Tempestuous
Recalcitrance
Averse
To what discursive
Rhetoricians
Still can’t openly
Converse
But I am not the same old
Liberals
In their biblical
New cities
I am not
The pretty power puffing
Chests
Arresting Diddies  
I am merely
Observations
From the outside
Looking in,
As foreign in
My disposition
As I am
American

I’m confounded by what it all means
To be me
To be endlessly circling
Back into thee
And back out
To be free
But still socially standardized
Meaningless me
An acceptable version
For your eyes to see
An organic complexion
Machines couldn’t be
A titanic reflection
The depths and the skies
Couldn’t possibly fathom
The I’s become we
All returning to me
In the moment of everything
Nothingnessly

Heedless of warning signs
Beckoning risk
Building up
Expectations
Apart
Not adrift
Taking heart
In her dubious
Drawn to conclusions
Lugubrious
Gloom
Should the tomb
Come to ruins
A room growing old,
Fading out,
Fall away
If I go with you,
Run,
Or just ask you to stay
You would have to say no
For your future is brighter
Tonight though
It’s mine
That begins with a lighter

Beach party
Me
Is the center of gravity
All the unfolding
Revolving
Depravity
Slightly on edge
As I’m calm
In your presence
The ledge
To your bottle
Of anti-depressants
So kick off your shoes
Take the plunge
And unwind
Let the waves
Set the pace
Of the wake
Peace of mind

Lucid
And sooner
Or later
Asleep
Even seated
Don’t need
Anymore to count sheep
And in keeping persistent
With daily routines
Only break from the norm
In my wildest dreams
Meaning reckless abandon,
Spontaneous whim
Don’t decide where I go
Just define who I’ve been
Should a day in the life
Include new and exciting
It seldom finds time
To explain it in writing
So as a professional
Aspirant
Strive
Not to make it a living
But why I’m alive

To not smile,
Pariah
An aberrant
Miscreant
Misfit
Just trying
To speak with
This nitwit
But split with
What intellect
Left
I can find
In the weather conditions
Of my cloudy mind
My profession
Is obvious, no?
For why else
Would I dare go
Where others
Don’t care
To lend help
Unsolicited by
An archaic tradition,
A nationalistic
Hellbent
On submission
Like juxtaposed
Visions
Of master and slave
But reversing the roles
They so woefully
Play
Not the same
As one generates
What the will
Subjugates
To apposition  
The other
Can’t contemplate
Waiting and waiting
For fate
To come save him
And prostrate
Surrenders
His praises
Betray him
Allay trepidations
Of tepid impatience
For graves to at last
Come to make
His acquaintance