She sits in a room
All alone
All day sobbing
Her brain overheats
In anxiety throbbing
And lobbing grenades
Upon rainy parades
Is the only way she
Can ensure the pain fades
Crossing over again
To succumb and suppress
She still seems
In control
But is a
Complete mess
But her kind
Of frenetic
Magnetic
To me
She stills pulls me
As if
The full moon
To my sea

Once you let go
It has taken its hold
So set out in the world
Let your story unfold
All of life is a journey
A tale to be told
The ones we remember
Are written in bold

Just wanted to orbit you
Like you do
Moving through
Infinite space ways
Between where I drift
Non-exist
As I sift
Through a stream of diversions
A flood of submersions
My blood
On your drug
As I shrug off
Incursions
And versions of me
Cease to be
Unfamiliar
When one
Gravitates
To his need
To fulfill her

The Macedon mastodon
Tramplin’ on
Your Babylon
The upper echelon
Undone
Beneath my
Grandeur pantheon
But all the worlds
I conquer
Gone
Before I’ve even
Red the dawn

But I do
Still grind stones
Write each other uploads
And still know
In her silence
My mountain erodes
And a normal man
Reincarnated
Could mine
Could return to the dirt
To recover his spine
But the engineers still run the world
Labor force
Executioners these days
Are kids in divorce
From material ******,
Buy their image in stores
And don’t answer for all
The imperial wars
They ignite in the streets
Like the ** Chi Minh sheeeeets
And they bend the reality
Back to beats

Back in this educate
State of mind
Earning
The title of writer
Inciter of learning
More mutually
Concomitantly
Guessing
The answers
The questions
The overall lessons
I plan so haphazardly
Somehow still getting it
Through to them casually
Just keep it simple
Be honest
Be there
And adroitly instill
This weird skill that I share

She wants to be with all
The other boys
Then there is me
I make her laugh,
Her wrath,
Her hourglass
My whole chronology
Then turn her tantalizing madness
To the sickest poetry
And she was honest from the start
She doesn’t break
She takes the heart
And when apart
She doesn’t helplessly
Await me in the dark
For things to change
It’s all the same,
We all just feign we’re not in pain
So wash away
The day
In haze malaise
And flush it down the drain
Then feel her drain
The power planted
In your all too human brain
For she will never
Ever
Ever
Be some prince’s crown to claim

Go ‘head and point it at my head
You’re emptier
Than Gods you dread
The ones who show you *******
Who make you watch
The entrails spill
Until the anger
Of such crimes
Against the peace
Within the mind’s
All knowing
All beholden eyes
Before you now
Their body lies
The hero at the end
Is dead
Go ‘head and point it at my head

Undeserved
Underserved
They still need us
To turn
To keep catering
To
The downtrodden
To earn
What a dignified living
No longer affords
And what destitute
Institutes
Leave uninsured

Insist I must join
Then cajole me to coin
The new terms
Of my sanctity
Yours to purloin
To purportedly
Read
What goes on in my mind
Is for me to decide
Not derided by others
For even among
Trusted friends
I discover
The silence is tension
Is failure to mention
My unwelcome thoughts
Of complete apprehension

Three harpies moved into the mountain
And soon
The excluded among them
When into its room
Glooming in the pale moonlight
And wondered why sense’s
Sincerity setting
Intuits the looming shadow’s
Seven heaven’s
Outlaw renegading
Fade serenade
Blade
The miraculous suicide
Watch it replay
Then another one to tell me how
To simply think about it
Worries flowing,
Undertowing
Show you how
To drink about it
Can’t forget her
Even on my death
Bedraggled
Linen shame
She murdered me
Now makes me **** myself
And sell what’s left of sane
To any tangential
Dimensional
Divulging
In discursive
And immersing my rehearsals
In eternal hearse
Immersive

Thus rests the former
God king
Mortal man
Had it all figured out
Had the world in his hand
Had a plan
To take over
Destroy
And rebuild
As he willed
Into being
A tiny orb
Filled
With the felling
Of forests
The shelling
Of reigns
And the death knell
Dispelling
All doubt
To his claims
But his influence waned
In the advent
Of tech
And his subjects
Instead
Preferred fools
To elect
And rejected,
Disposed of,
Forgotten
Was he
And the core of him rotten
Could not
Legacy

Do as they say
Walk and talk just like them
In their images think yourselves
Gods amongst men
They have money and cars
Fancy clothes and success
All the power
They keep making more
And we,
Less

Hire me,
Fire me
Couldn’t inspire me
Just give me something to do
Besides piracy
Get me back out in the world
Be a part
Of some start up
To fill up
My grocery cart
For I’ve taken to heart
Far too many
Investments
Of time
I laid waste
To my rotten intestines

Wandering
Squandering
When have I not
Failed to reach my potential
And mentally rot
In a caustic
Corrosive
Self-loathing
Moroseness
That worsens
The more
I’ve expended
Resources
Exhausted recourses
And letting her down again
Just reinforces
Alone
I can’t hurt
I can’t harm
I can’t hate
I can’t blame
I can’t claim
I am not the mistake

Compassion is the weakness
Yet also the reward
Sweet surrender to the nectar
Of the gods
Or by the sword

Carnivorous culture
Still courting the asp
In control
Just to watch it all
Slip from our grasp
Never pass on the chance
To see carnage
And slaughter
Still waging our wars
For more oil and water
Insatiable lust
To see death and despair
To declare ourselves
Empire gods
Without care
Don’t you dare
Read away
Yet another grim warning
I urge you
Embrace it
Don’t wake up
In mourning
A scorned
Hath no fury Earth
In it adorned

Beckoned,
Allured
By her tempting enchantments
The goddess of love
So enraptures me
Granting
Her sirens
Commanded
To pleasure,
Untether me
Take me away
To a world
Of forever free
To be immersed
In this curse
Divine feminine
Elegant in
Its resplendent  
Serenity
Though so detached
I soon longed to return
To one in which man
Had hence from me
Once spurned

Declines in additional
Income
A ******
But calling this work
Is like he’s in the summer
Just feels like reflections
Of compromised quality
Quantity mirrors
To me
The frivolity
Of expectations,
Complaints,
And constraints
On the time it takes
Me
To fill in
All the blanks

Come weep
Like a willow
Come mourn
As a widow
Come wallow
In hollowed
Out parts of my whole
Come expose
Why I sold
All that’s left
Of my soul
Come beseech
Me to linger
A shadow,
A stain
Come release
Me to bring her
Back home
From the grave

There in your chair
And I can’t help but stare
Any words I could say
Couldn’t possibly bare
What the weight
And heartache
And what’s taken
Equates
What my shame
In its bottomless
Void
Could reframe
What was picturesque,
Beautiful,
Solemn
And sacred
To something so ugly
And tarnished,
Degraded
But still then you turn
And sincere is your smile
You still exude peace
When you could be
Hostile
And all I can do
In my infinite
Guilt
My unworthiness,
Watch
As they wither
And wilt

Am I just bitterness
Unfulfilled
Discontentedness
Restless
And anxious
Just want to escape this
Perpetual do-over day
None to blame
But myself
For this dismal, morose,
Woe is me
Soul decay
Which I know to say sounds
Like a lousy clichè
Not the writer’s expressive
Quintessence
Expected
From one such as I
Am by others rejected
Insect among tachyons
God among atom bombs
Nothing else left
Except left-leaning martyrdom
And whom I long
To behold at least once
More before
I return
To this ongoing war with
What keeps me from her

Illogic illusion
Construct it with me
Needn’t be
Any less
All too real
Fantasy
Than two people who care
He is here,
She is there
And no distance could sever
The bond that they share
Never dull
Or diminish
The moment
They hold it
Refuse to let go
Without gripping too tightly
And fall for each other
In writing it
Nightly

No one knows
No one sees
My true form
Elegies
Anonymity is
My eternity
Breeze
Still the chill
That pervades
The warm veins
And intuits
Remains
She so spectrally fades
Until afterlives beckon
And banshees bemuse
As I lose once again
To the mood slayer’s blues
For the soothsayer
Pays me to play
With these words
But it’s to my dismay
They are broken records

And I will never ******* matter
To a soul upon this dying world
Seems like it’s always ending
And into the setting sun I’m hurled
From once again
At pinnacles
Of hubris
I am circling
To unearthing
Tragic flaws
A cause
For which
The struggles worth it
Though a better off position
From what happens
For a reason
Must reveal itself in time
Or I’m
Deprived of my completion

Am I forcing it into
The pieces this way
When away from you
Carry myself so astray
And dismay takes a hold
Of my loneliest soul
As I rope-a-dope
Sleep paralytics
Ice coal
Becomes ashen and smitten
With progress unmade
Like the lovers of Aerth
Are just free-traded
Slaves
And their ego waves
Must satiate the mass graves
Not the one
He beside her
So desperately craves

Or don’t let sappy ****
Contain you
Nothing I could do
Can change you
Nor do I
Intend to try
With or without you
Rather die
Avoid such fatalist extremes
A couple nights apart
Just means
We can continue
Ourselves
As gradually
Together melds
Prefer to be alone
Or roam
Into beside each other,
Home

Serendipity meant for me
With her to be
But did not guarantee us
Psychotherapy
Nor provided,
Enabled,
Equipped me to help
Never spelt out
How she could
Salvation
Myself
No prerequisites
Called for
Compatible traits
And the rest of its
Fall for
That look on her face
Only fated
To date,
To confide in,
Console
Lonely wanted
To sooner or later
Control
My emotions’
Devotion
To feel what she feels
But not always
Commitment
To what it reveals

Best to get something out
Jot it down
Make it sound
Pleasantly
Melody
Kept in sequential
With rhymes
Undefined
Undiscovered potential
Is all I intend with this
Penmanship ******
The trend-setting ends
And I never remember
How far from her gone
I became
Me unmade
And in hindsight
Proceed
Onward in
Retrograde

Nowhere you could go
That I won’t
Come and find you
Nowhere you could be
That I wouldn’t
Remind you
The time could go by
Without me there beside you
And I will still strive
To uncover
What hides you
Reside in your deepest
Recesses
And reach
Out to lift you up,
Strengthen you
When you feel
Weak
But we keep speaking over
Each other again
After vowing to not so
Discordantly end
The next argument,
Or the relationship
Sinking
In dreading,
Regretting
The what were we thinking

Imagine her gone
Then from there
Make it work
Until therein
The revenant
Residents lurk
And its resonance
Echo this
Desperate
Directive
Return to me
All we once were
Irrespective
Of countless transgressions
Committed
As innocents
Victimless crimes
Become indolent mimes
In the incidents
Making themselves
All the time
Before ever there was
Such a thing
As a promise
To keep us instilled
In a pocket watch
Locket
So locked in
The notion
Emotions must profit
From some innate use
Of what one can provide
And if not
Well…
What good am I!?
Sweep me aside
If we cannot confide
Anymore
Then it’s clear
That the vision
Envisaged
Was further
Than near

Once again having
Its day
Is the youth
If they lie to themselves
They won’t tell us
The truth
But they will
Obfuscate
And conceal
And withhold
Information
And earnings
And rights to your soul
Lest you let it grow old
At their rate
Turning gray
In their comfort
Conformity’s
Naïveté

It’s the fact
That I still even laugh
I’m assured
At the end of my rope
I have not yet endured
Unobscured by false hope
And allured by despair
Grown inured to rock bottom’s
Idyllic nowhere
Seen it clear
As I know you still know
That I care
That the soul consciousness
Of the universe
Pales
In comparison to
What the two of us had
For I still read it gladly
As you see me sad
Think me mad do you,
Well,
Maybe unwell at best,
And at worst
Still alive
As the day that she left

Come back to me
Yearning
What troubles,
What ails you?
Read on as my gallant knight sword
Never fails you
Prevailing against
Every dawn I’m without you
I vanquish your foes
With a flow all about you
For sharp is the thorn of your prose
When I doubt you

There must be the end
Of the darkest tranquility
Silently,
Virally,
Into senility
Spiraling into
A bottomless
Pit
From the tempest tirades
I created the glitch
And a twitch into selfishly normalcy’s
Itch
In relinquished resistance
To actively
Passively
Still in existence
Oppose it,
Expose it,
Reveal its facades
And bring structures
To crumble
Like Titans
To gods

And in my
Fetid corpse
I find you
Pondering
The Betty Whiteness
Privilege
Riches
We all die
Who cares if it
Belongs to I
Or I,
A most ferocious
Leftist
Lurk the woods
And train the deftest
Cattle herders
Intellect’s
More written worder
Intro specs
To sharpen
Harps
To pullin’ strings
The arts
To tables
Bounty brings
And should my spirit
Fail to guide me
She is shelter
There beside me
Tried to speak
She'd override me
Pegs the spider webs
Inside me
Knows when I
Am not as lively
Itchin' for
Her poison ivy
Long goodbye'd
She'd still remind me
Sway away
Atreyu boy
The Nothing
You can yet
Destroy

And I still adhere to nothing
But a payment
Mental state
A bunch of number
Cookie crumbles
To the wealth
I can’t equate
There is no fairness  
In indulgence
Someone always
Wanting more
You taught us borrow,
Spend and spend
Until we’re wallowing
In war
Through which beleaguered
Makes us free
A labor force
Supremacy
A gross consumption,
Mass production,
Killing spree
Serenity

Not so
With the passing
Of seasons
Unchanged
Here they all seem the same
What I feel for you stays,
Still remains
Just misplaced
As I lose myself
Wasting
Away
On my honor
Disgracing
A duty I have
To serve people
Mistaking
My presence
Intentions
With peasants’
Dissensions
Privations
My privacy
Seems to belie
To their prying eyes’
Envious,
Penniless
Pride

From whence the wilted wandered
Wondered all
The money laundered
Has it gone
So far beyond
Where they would utter
De guerre ‘Nam
And from those jungles
Fill your lungs
With burning stakes
Of Amazon
But turning rates
Of the disinterested
To actively engage
From highly likely
If it’s nightly,
Daily,
Constantly replayed
To child’s play
Of puppeteers
In their clock working
Apparatus
To addict you
And afflict you
Forceful feed you
Needles madness
Then it’s habits
Gotta have it
You just gotta ******* grab it
Off the shelves
Or off their cellular
Dependencies
Like magic

Try to be
The attentive
Responsive
Be honest
But not this
Duplicitous
Liar
You temptress
Relentlessly
Lifting me higher
But merely
To drop me
From dizzying heights
Hit the ground
Watch me drown
In my loneliest nights
And I thought I was done
Entertaining your kind
In your intricate snares
Bare my soul
Intertwined
With your faithless
Facade
Twist of fate
Ain’t your god
It is simply
Just pleasure
And somebody better
Than me and you
First dating
Under the Weather

Really felt
Her presence lost
Her mark upon my heart
Embossed
No longer
Only cost
A fortune
Fell for some
Ungrateful urchin
Searching for a match
To spark
To compliment
My in the dark
I kept receding
Leaving home again
Withdrawn
One day she’s here
The next she’s gone
Confounding to no end
Despair
It hurts so much
I just don’t care
A page from her
Unwritten book
Not one more piece of me
She took

Just write
The beginning
Envisioning
Sagas
Conceptualize war
Like you’re in
The Bahamas
Obamas
Have come and gone
Kennedies
End
And the Clintons’
Convictions
Don’t go to my head
Any more
Than the opposite side’s
Can attest
I just run the gamut
Of their standardized test

Insecurities
Tear me to shreds
In absentia
Unknown to myself
As I beckon dementia
I’m lost in her afterthoughts
Patiently waiting
Exhaustively studying
How she does dating
So far
From afar
More connection established
Progression is natural
Less force and more habit
Reception is spectral at times
In our minds
And though two different kinds
Do our spirits entwine
But unravel
On what constitutes
The divine
Only long enough to
Coalesce them again
In her messages sent
And his love letters penned

Where to turn
Now
For the piece missing placed
Office spaces
Remotely
Mismanage my case
Could provide sanctuary
Community
Interface
But she’s a coworker still
Nothing more
So I sit at my desk,
Over documents pour
Can’t get closer
Attached
Like a sticky note
Wrote
As a final reminder
To end at the rope

So many fragile pieces
Of complexity
To puzzle
To perplex in
What the depths
Of my unrest
Prefer to muzzle
But uncovering
The smothering
Of all the fragments formed
In a more normalcy
Dysphoric
Inner-portrait
I have worn
Has sooner torn apart
Attempters
Be they temptress
Or dementedness
Of mind, they miss the frame
For the entire picture
Bigger than
My maddest
Scatter-brain

Still licking my accolade gladius
Clean
Of the victories,
Triumphs
And grandiose schemes
Monumental
I thought of them
In adolescence
Seem trifles
Compared
To the slaying senescence
Achieving its
Ego supremacy
Killed
By the millions
Whose blood
By my hand
Isn’t spilled

Take a life
Do it
Just try to construe it
Who knew that it would be so difficult
To
See the mutual mind
Staring right back at you
But it isn’t as grave
Unconditional playing
Of gods and redeemers
If they aren’t praying

Up there immersed
In your ego
Imprisoned
Untethered
Yet bound
By the truth
You envisioned
To be nothing more
Than restorative
Justice
But in your wake
Vengeance
When settled
The dust is
Just envy and wrath
Not benevolent grace
No salvation
You’d sooner
Damnation embrace
Adoration you crave
Affirmation you seek
Exaltation eludes you
The hungry and meek
Do not speak of your feats
Nor retain what you feign
Your domain out of reach
Not a firmament palace
Or kingdom of clouds
Just deluded illusions’
Identity shrouds
So come walk down among them
Again
Now and then
Then return to eternity
Lonely to spend

Promise justice
Into dust
Is this
Fortune foretold
Determined,
Terminated,
Propagated
Stories all
Unfold
From Pravda’s
Driving Mazdas
Writing in
Their power
People
In a language spoken
Woke enough
To scheme a lesser evil

What else could I write you
About me
It’s something
For I can not feel
But expression’s the one thing
A slum
Biddy ***
Going numb
Scribble gunsling
A note
From a stroke
Of the demons I stoke
When awoken
I wrote
A most luminous cloak
To adorn in the never mourn
Forests of lore
I ignored petty squabbles
Of gods waging war
For assured of my deity
Status was I
I was diamond shard dragons
Designing the sky
And the why
Was awhirl
With her final goodbye
Then I wandered
Despondency wastes
In despair
And I spat in the faces
Of people who care
And therein lies the tragic
Downfall of the boy
And the flying machine
That he seeks to destroy