Maytin Paige

Maytin Paige Jan 2014

Numb

I need to feel
something other than
nothing.
Liquor
seeps from
my pores.
I'm numb.
I need to feel something.
but if I feel,
I want to become numb again.
There is no
in-between.
To feel
or
to be numb?
Maybe I should stay numb
that way
I can forget everything.
You will be no one,
someone that is just there.
I will be no one,
someone that is just here.
I think
I want to stay numb
that way I don't have to feel the bad.

Maytin Paige Jan 2014

Old Beat Up Truck

It's just an old beat up truck.
Nothing more.
It's nothing
but it means so much.
There's too many memories.
I watch in silence
as she tries to switch gears
with a frustrated attitude.
She yanks the gear shift back
trying to shift into second.
I set my hand on her arm
Hey,
She looks up and stops.
Clutch in and ease into second.
She takes a deep breath and starts back in first.
She shifts into second easily now.
I smile
and stay in silence.
She cruises down through the field
and I set my hand on her arm again.
She looks up as the truck slows.
I tell her it'll all be okay
and that she's doing great.
Which is true.
I tell her I love her.
Because this is just another memory to add with this
old beat truck.
The same one I've been told that I should trade in.
But it means so much more than getting a new truck.

Maytin Paige Jan 2014

A Drawing

I watch as his pen flicks up and out
many times.
He's sketching.
He never sketches.
He doesn't draw.
Something's up.
The scene comes to be
a landscape.
Tall grass,
thick trunks
from green trees,
a blue pond
with ripples
that spread
and dissipate.
A worn down
building
is hidden
in the background.
I imagine it to be red
with peeling paint.
This is the second day in a row.
Have you picked up a new hobby?
Or are you bothered by something more
than you can express?
The paper comes to life before my eyes
as the drawing is so realistic
so detailed
so well drawn.

Maytin Paige Jan 2014

I Can't Forget It

I wanted to be in the room with you,
while you were with her.
I felt your heart beat faster
than it ever did
when I was with you.
I still don't understand why you left me behind
and went with her.
It's not something I can erase
because it replays
all of the time.
I can't help to imagine
words you spoke
or ways you made your
skin look like porcelain-
because I'd cause myself to bleed.
I hope it made you feel good,
knowing how much I adored you.
I don't want you to turn the lights off
and find her skin.
Although I've tried,
I can't forget it.
I've told myself
that you regret it
so many times.
Because you're the only one that I have ever loved.

Maytin Paige Jan 2014

Ty

If I were to see
his icy blue eyes,
I'd know to run the other way.
He made me trust him.
He made me believe him.
I flew high-
way above cloud nine.
If I felt
warm, sweaty hands over my eyes,
I'd know it was him.
To scream ****** ******
would be an understatement.
He used to scratch my head
as if I were his sister.
If I heard
his voice,
I'd whip around
ready to bolt.
I'd know to stay away,
as far as possible
like a fish to a shark.
I'd hope you'd have enough
common sense to
dive underground before anything got physical
because you really hurt me.

Maytin Paige Jan 2014

Showing Interest

I'm done fighting with you today.*
He clears his throat and looks to the ground,
Whatever, go hang out with your boy toy.
I huff out a breath.
Excuse me?
He looks up.
Luke! Go hang out with him, since you guys are so intrigued with each other!
I scoff.
Well, I'm not going to show any interest for a guy that is rude and acts as if he doesn't care! Whether he does or not!
I don't show it because you already know!
I grow angrier.
*I don't know it, I infer it! I won't know unless you say something!

Not necessarily a poem, just some possible situations.

Maytin Paige Jan 2014

This is How it Ends

Your stare is empty
as you look through me.
I remember when I said
"And I don't wanna go home right now because I don't wanna miss you tonight."
But now,
I think
Don't speak as I try to leave or I'll fall right back to you.
I want to tell you,
"Please know this isn't your fault."
We both know this isn't good for us.
And we both know what we'll choose.
I see you fading away as each day continues.
We walk along and refuse to make amends.
Because you pull and I push my way back to you.
I see my dreams divided and broken that I wish on over and over, sparkling in the night sky.
Only because you don't want me to see you break.
I tell you
"Don't speak as I try to leave,"
as I turn away
Cause we both know how this ends,
but it was worth it every time.