~ following “A Simple Poem”~ (1)

But of course, we reference revelations,
for our brief self-description are guises,
meant to hide, meant to impress, reveal
little, enhance our mystery, preserve our
secrecy. expose and hide simultaneously
within our mid-of-night aura mystiques

Safe behind the curtain, we wizards speak
in voices and tongues, giving up our innermost everything in verse, write of our blessings and our curses, holding  little back while we give ourselves away, hint by hinting, writ by writing, a series of
+++++++’s

I choose, I chose, to dress my chess pieces
in a clear varnish, **** the consequences,
sail towards the torpedoes, heading direct
to meet your eyes, giving up my forest
tree by tree, poem by poem, a leaf and
a branch, only tinkering and fussing like a new parent over each new virtual birthing,

and then once tidied,
once spent,
my secrets unconcealed,
we wonder quick if each
puzzle when connected
to its predecessor is 
understood
as a tiny pointilisme dot,
a speck
and that you are wise enough to
comprehend how each speck,  
lives only unique in its
conjunction,
only tandem-with both the one
nearest and the ones dabbed a decade
long ago, and when you connect  
my dots, I stand before you completely
a full and a naked folio,
one book of a single reveal,
the sum of my totality,
an addition of many integers,  
summing up to 1

So,

should we pass by each other,
our eyes will pierce, each wrinkle,
solving the equation of who we are…
a single human, readily identifiable,
total recognition, via the reconnaissance
of our letterered footsteps

Two painful events led to a hospital
and a team of cardiologists, lots
of tests ensued, a plugged artery
in my heart they informed, a stent
procedure in a few days will hopefully
solve the problem and I can get back to
normal living, normalcy you see is a very
good thing. Not to be taken for granted.

Today is jade,
cloudy,
with a chance of tears

When I was young 14
I lay upon my bed
Outside was Florida
Inside a thought unsaid

I began to meditate
Within my teenage brain
The world continues on
But I do not remain

A terror soon arose
My insignificance
Inevitability
Complete impermanence

Then a tighter breathing
Zero at the Bone
Screaming, screaming, screaming
Absolutely all alone

Into my little room
My mother frightened came
What's wrong?! What's wrong?! What's wrong?!
Calling out my name

I do not want to die!
I cried into the Night
But you're just 14 years old
Death is not in sight

She wiped away each tear
And smiled: you're ok, Todd
Profoundly comforting
Like the tenderness of God

Now I'm 55
The years did swiftly run
My mother died of cancer
In 2001

My fantasies are many
But none is more intense
That my mother and my sons
Might leap across the Fence

That somehow they could meet
My mom and these growing boys
My departed comforter
And my pride and joy

That which we imagine
According to William Blake
Exists in eternity
So if this is not a mistake

My mother and my sons
On Earth never sharing years
In the timelessness
Somehow still appear

Together in photographs
Of quantum artistry
Separated yet United
To be and not to be.

The door is slowly opening
I can hear the hinges creaking
As it is forced to move.
What pagan wind invades
The solace of this silent chamber
To move what has grown stationary
In the effort to hold back
The machinations that are
Fluttering like brazen banners
On the brightly gilded lances
Of the mavens of decay
           ljm

September rain  
falling grey on Monday faces
washes out the dusty traces
of August in the air,
coffee mug memories
warm and serene,
muse on the summer it might have been