When I was young 14
I lay upon my bed
Outside was Florida
Inside a thought unsaid

I began to meditate
Within my teenage brain
The world continues on
But I do not remain

A terror soon arose
My insignificance
Inevitability
Complete impermanence

Then a tighter breathing
Zero at the Bone
Screaming, screaming, screaming
Absolutely all alone

Into my little room
My mother frightened came
What's wrong?! What's wrong?! What's wrong?!
Calling out my name

I do not want to die!
I cried into the Night
But you're just 14 years old
Death is not in sight

She wiped away each tear
And smiled: you're ok, Todd
Profoundly comforting
Like the tenderness of God

Now I'm 55
The years did swiftly run
My mother died of cancer
In 2001

My fantasies are many
But none is more intense
That my mother and my sons
Might leap across the Fence

That somehow they could meet
My mom and these growing boys
My departed comforter
And my pride and joy

That which we imagine
According to William Blake
Exists in eternity
So if this is not a mistake

My mother and my sons
On Earth never sharing years
In the timelessness
Somehow still appear

Together in photographs
Of quantum artistry
Separated yet United
To be and not to be.

The door is slowly opening
I can hear the hinges creaking
As it is forced to move.
What pagan wind invades
The solace of this silent chamber
To move what has grown stationary
In the effort to hold back
The machinations that are
Fluttering like brazen banners
On the brightly gilded lances
Of the mavens of decay
           ljm

September rain  
falling grey on Monday faces
washes out the dusty traces
of August in the air,
coffee mug memories
warm and serene,
muse on the summer it might have been

in his dream he saw
his wife kissing his neighbour
morning dreams come true.
4/8/2024

Wipe your tears
I wasn't meant to be here forever.

Did I say I love you
or was it unuttered
too feeble to be heard!

Maybe you knew it in the small moments
our eyes met
you could read my emotions
in the chance glance
I cast into that ocean
and you caught its fleeting shadow.

Do your tears betray that love
of two souls on a voyage
in turbulence and calmness
in light and in darkness
building nests on the way
where you showed the child the sky
to fly away one day.

You too  never made
I love you audible
but I heard them in your lips' quiver
like a prayer.

The same lonely walls
Sterile rooms
And dead eyes

I too will go to you, says the son
to the face of the father.

He broadens his smile
thin and gathering dust for long
as if to acknowledge
he always knew
one day his son would stand before him
resigned and weary
willing to join on his route.

The son sees his father's lips
move in the briefest prayer..

Welcome.

Words are worn out
till we repolish
to repeat anew.