Touch of velvet
Orchid blue
Heart of innocence
Scented true

To say these three words
It’s just the truth
They come deep
inside my heart
Honestly I’ll walk
The earth
Swim the seas
Crawl the artic
Endure deep freeze.
To say these three
words to you I’ll fly them
from a flag
Die you hag

My spirit is dancing
Among the stars
My body has been cremated
So I wrote an e mail to God
To see if I could be reinstated
Life I wanted another go
I wanted to sing and dance
Experience a bit of danger
And Take a little chance,
Maybe find a sweet lover
Kiss my father and my mother,
First chance of life never favoured me
see I'm Lilly I died when I was three,
God must have read my e mail
I've just been reinstated
I don't no how one did it
Seen I had been cremated ,
What a surprise to see my brother
Kissed my sister, cuddled my mother
Father smiled and held my hand
and said nice to see your back with the band
Family life was good for me
Did a bit of fishing in the sea
Danced to music read lots of books
A happy life even learnt how to cook
Walked the woods with mum and me sister
Grazed me knees and accepted me blisters
Even grew up and had many children to hold
I'm living in this story it needs to be told
Thank you God for reinstating me
My five children send their love
Now it's time for me to go
And join the stars above .

Got a cat
That thinks
It’s a dog
Got a dog
That thinks
It’s a cat
Lovely
Pets
Salt of
The earth I
Think there
Was a mix up
At there
Birth.
The dog meowed
The cat did bark they
Followed each other
Never far apart,
Then one day
Dog had died
The hearse
turned up the
Cat she cried
Cat felt lonely
They were
never apart
Poor old cat
Had
Developed
A broken
Heart.

Sweet Marie a lover of mine
oh well she died
I didn't,I never cried.
Sweet Marie,oh was so sweet
I wished,why did we meet.
Sleeping alone has its desire
sweet Marie died,then she caught fire.
I got her ashes in a urn
Love is for idiots when do we learn.

There is a lady who
Lives in our street
Im hoping one day
That we shall meet,
Elegant in her style
With A fantastic smile
Then I asked her out
A night on the tiles.
We walked hand in hand
Down the strand
Then somebody shouted
She’s a man,
What this beauty long
In leg packing meat
With two sweet veg,
Carried on walking
Didn’t give a ****
A good looking man with
A pair of ****
Im not sure if that’s alright with me
But hey ** still it’s not every bodies
Cup of tea.

Mona Lisa
Eyeball pleaser
My lady of the lake
Kissing your lips
Touching  your ****
I'll even bake you a cake.
Squeeze of lemon
Some orange peel
eyeball ingredience
To make me feel real.
sweet mona sweet mona
A frozen file
open up and blossom
Please Stay awhile,
Still dreaming of my Mona Lisa
Elegant chic one eyeball pleaser,
Walk down the high street
All heads would turn
But stuck in that frame
I shall always yearn

Sweetness comes
In a candy bar
Im not sweet
You won’t get far,
Im
Chasing a silk purse
In a razor blade suit
She killed my family
Stole all my loot,
I Am after revenge
I have a plan
It will take place
Im going to put
A bullet right
in her face,
Revenge is mine
Don’t you see
Im on my own
No family
She is cunning
Like the ***** fox
When I'm  finished
It’s the wooden box.

White and pure
Like a flake of snow
Im liking you
So I’ll give
It a go
Will play some games
Walk the paths
Have ups and downs
Create some laughs.
Drink some drinks
Go out and dine
Getting to know you
Im feeling fine.
Weeks and months
They flew by
We made each other
Laugh
And sometimes cry
Then one day
Under the stars above
Holding hands
We fell in love.

Im a three
Legged chicken
Living on a farm
Hoping this year
I won’t come
To any harm.
I like my extra leg,
Keeping my
Feathers intact,
Im not fit
for the table
Me and the
Farmer
we had
A little chat.
I said to the farmer
I’ll take
the job
Of  Molly
the cat
With this extra
Leg
I could catch all
Those rats.
We Three
legged chickens
Your on to a winner
Let me tell
you Mr farmer
We’re not made
For Sunday dinner.

Sweet little potato
Bobbing in a ***
Looking delicious
Looking so hot,
Meat and two veg
Is diving in
Culinary delights
Can now begin.
Tasty hot
Cheese to grate
Total infusion
On my plate.

Gingerbread man
Gingerbread man
Running hundred
Metres as fast as
You can
Up to the winning line
He tripped
He gave a cough
And his head fell off.
Tragedy for the
Gingerbread man
His head falling of
Wasn’t in his plan,
Crossed the line
Ginger had finished
The race
Not before the dog
Ran on and ate
His tasty face.

All the years
I kicked a ball
All the years
I won **** all.
Always a loser
Every week
We got
Thrashed
we
Got well
beat.
The crowd would
Shout  chants
From their seats
With disapproval
Stamp their feet.
We didn’t
want fortune
Notoriety or fame
We just liked to play
The beautiful game.
We weren’t losers
Not with our crowd
Maybe if we had
A good striker
We could have
Made
Them proud.

Devil woman
You are my sin,
Devil woman
You hurt me within,
Devil woman
Devour my chains,
Devil woman
Life isn’t plain,
Devil woman
What a pleasure,
Devil woman
Such a treasure,
Devil woman
Loving with ease,
Devil woman is
Such a tease,
Devil woman
Can I be free
So l can
start this
Game of monopoly.

Teenage dreams
Emotions awry
Angst in abundance,
Tears we cry.
Am I a woman
Or still a girl my
Teenage dreams
Are like a clammed
Up pearl.
Can’t sought out
This from that
Can’t decide
What side to bat.
Avenues no safety net
Open the door see
what you get
Teenage dreams
A minefield of good
Always fearful
And misunderstood.

Tell me a story
Of truths and lies,
Lots of intrigue
With a web of spies.
Street corners and
Shady dives
Crooks and gangsters
Trying to stay alive.
Information being
Brought and sold
Gangland killings
Leaving victims cold.
Every black suit
Trying to make a buck
Headless chickens
Not giving a cluck.
As night follows day
And all said is done,
Nothing like a cup of tea
And a lovely currant bun.

Enticing label on the tin
My little peach she lays within
Her clothes are just a mask
I need the wine not the cask
Tempted by lust and warm desire
I opened her up
Pure nectar and fire

Hello all you poetry people
Shout your words from
The highest steeple
Keep it coming
For us to read
It’s a pleasure
Yes indeed
Hello poetry
A platform
For words
The good
The bad
The ridiculously
Absurd.
Why do we do it
Yes indeed
It gives us
People something
To read.
Thanks.

Thank you Adrianna
For all of your sweet
Reviews
I like writing all this
Doggerel  
It’s just what I do.

The author who wrote
His readers would die
His words were parasites
His sentences bled
Nobody had survived
What they had read.
Still his readers did
Like the thrill,
Opened the covers with
There free will.
The parasites would
Bleed them dry,
Infect there minds
And surely die.
Stories are told
You must take a look
Thousands of people
Have died in books.

Me and my mates
We formed a band
Wrote some songs
And toured the land.
Songs were so so
The music was loud
Night by night
We got bigger crowds.
Went to far out places
Blew our  audiences away
We got tighter day by day.
Song after song
it did not stop
Even said no to
Top of the pops.
On TV having to mime
Always had been a
Musical crime.
Old grey whistle test
Wanted us on the show
So me and my mates
Gave it a go.
On that Saturday
We did arrive
To play our songs
On stage live
Bob Harris remembers
That day
when we
Blew the
BBC away.
Ups and downs
We took on the chin
Because we were - - -   - - - - - - -.

The bench of forgetfulness
Resides in the park
People sit reminiscing
In the light and the dark.
Thirty five years it
Needs a lick of new paint
This bench has heard
the stories some are so quaint .
Proposals of marriage
Heartache and pain
Stories of bravery
And some that  are inane.
A name appeared one day
Someone had died
The bench of forgetfulness
Looked like it could cry.
People would sit and
Forget all there woes,
This bench would listen
As the warm wind blows.

I need care
From the cold
Night air,
They are
In there
Freezing
Out here
It’s not fair
Their not playing
By the rules
This to me
is ******
Cruel.
Mummy’s Lovely
We had a spat
I got angry and
Pooed on the mat
What could I do
Being me the cat.
I don’t hold grudges
Don’t you see
Staying in the cold
Night air ain’t
For me,
I got mrs owl
She lives in a boat
I can’t get in to get
My hat and coat
Door opens up mums
Got some food
Feeling better
Changed my mood
I’ll lie down have a Kip
When there out I’ll
Have another ****.

Played by cheaters
Kicking a round ball
War of attrition
Divers open to fall.
Sportsmanship rarely
Revealing  its sporting head
It's tribalism in a skin you cannot shed
Field of dreams
Beautiful game
Why do the players put the game to shame
The game is the game, it is what it is
The games played by people taking the p-ss

All year been
Rather sad
Not been good
Feeling bad.
Been couped up
All year long
This year  I feel there's
Something wrong.
Moths have been
Picking at  my brains.
Been all year
Going insane
This year doing
something
Different
Whoops Im under a train.

Tinker tailor
Soldier spy
Opened
A laundrette
To wash and dry.
Contact this
Foursome
If you need
Something
Washed out
Of your life,
Maybe a mother in law
Maybe your wife.
Contract washing
Cleansing out
Phone the laundry
We’re out and about

Everything is blue today
Sun is out and shines
Clouds have departed
And left the rain  behind.
Everything is bright tonight
The fullness of the moon
Stars seem to look bouncy
With their big red balloons.
The moon
The sun
and stars are
Having a cocktail party,
Drinks were served and
Cup cakes were ate
On through till morning
Just before the  day breaks.
The sun has a hangover
Not feeling very bright
Drank too much spirit
Not a pretty sight
Everything is dull today
The sun doesn’t want to play
Moon and stars have
Disappeared down the
Milky Way

Lifespan
Of my
Pet fly
I went
And zapped
It
I don’t know
Why.
I wrote
an eulogy
And told
It later
In the obituaries
Inside the fly paper.

The story of thee old empty barn
A scary story a ****** good yarn
It was a story,a story not to be told
I kept my mouth shut that's why I grew old.
Now I've reached an age, decriped in time
I will open my tongue,hear the bad bells chime
See I had committed a ****** ,I really did ****
Psychopathic me, chased by thee old bill,
See psychopaths can't keep there deeds closed
I will not tell you my name ,I'm so in disposed
See the barn and me go back such along time,
I ask you the jury did I really commit the crime.

A voice came in from
The deep blue sea
From a ghostly old
Sea dog lost at sea
I was to carry his voice
I was to be thee host
To find his lady who
Lived once on the rugged coast
Many cliffs I willingly climbed
With a wide smile on my face
Till I came to graveyard
A sweet quaint old quiet place
There was once  his widow
His wonderful beautiful bride
I relayed his voice to her
Now alongside her,he now lies
When I visit the seaside
And look pleasingly out to sea
The voice of thee old sea dog
Says thank you to me.

Cold steel cuts
Through my veins
Blood flows out
Relieves the pain.
My eyes roll up
Inside my head
Not long now
I shall be dead.
Was I murdered
Or was it suicide.
This doggerel rhyme
Had committed the crime,
The evil quill
Was top of the bill
My veins were cut
It left a chill.

The poetry writer
With an evil quill
Disguised as poems
These writings did ****
Readers were tempted
Into there impending demise
Into the reading you hear the cries
The pages of this book
We’re bound by dread
The horror would come
The more you read,
By the end the writings
you died with a smile
Reading this ******* was it worthwhile?
The poetry writer
With an evil quill
Took to writing like
Flour in the mills
The more people read
The more it would ****
So don’t be tempted
Go on give it a go
Open the book let the evil flow

Mental health versus the suicide bomb
It's not one for the faint of heart
Come on all you fu-ked up morons
Let's get this game to the start
When you hear the refs whistle blow
Which showers us in harmonic sound
Then everything turns a shade of red
As atoms hit the ground
Mental healthers you must take life upon the chin
Because that little suicide bomb will always ****** win
There can never be a return match
There will be no glorious return
Just a Little sporting chant
Of burn you ******* burn
Most games played in life are supposed to be a bit of fun
But in this stupid game the score is always 0-1
Warring factions please leave them inside your ugly head
It's always your surroundings that end up turning red

The devil and I
Are saying goodbye
We’re calling it a day,
Life’s gone colourless
Life’s gone grey
Me and the devil
Have nothing to say.
The world spins
Around my ego
No halo on my head
Our relationship
Is so
pleasingly dead.
I’m of to pastures knew
Holding my hand didn’t
Know what to do
Guess what inside
another
Devil grew,
This Devil inside
Ruined all my fun
With catastrophic
Outcome
Blew my
head of
With his
own gun.
The devil and I
have
said our
Last goodbyes.

Green Green
grass of home
Out in the garden
Lived a thousand
Gnomes
Everyone I
gave a name
Now let’s play
The naming game,
Million pound jackpot
If you can name them all
Send a text or give
My mate a call.
3 pounds a text
10 pounds a call
See me in
London Town market
I have a stall.
Green Green
Grass of home
Named one
David Bowie
The laughing gnome.

Nature screams at me
Wild as the wolf
Trees having
Panic attacks
Nature screams at me

Earth wind and fire
Nature screams at me
Streams and rivers boil
Blood flows through
purple meadows
Nature screams at me.

The sun takes a swim
In the ocean
The wolf howls
At the moon
Nature screams at me
Death will come
To me soon.

Got to go
To A and E
An aeroplane
Fell on me head
Can’t quite work
It out
Why i am not
****** dead.

Got to go
To A and E
Got run over
By a train
Should be all
Chuffed up but
Still alive and sane.

Got to go to
A and E
I just went
And caught
Fire
All The nurses
All The doctors
called me
A ****** liar.

Going home on
The bus last night
Got hit by
A  50 ton meteorite .
Again I went to
A and E
This time
You got it
They did not
believe me.

I got to go to
A and E
I’ve stubbed my
Big Toe
Down I went and
Hit my head
What away to go

Im drowning in
The tears you shed
You say you hate me
Then take me to bed.
Im confused it’s all inane
Completely mental
****** insane.
You don’t
Then you do
Please forgive me
I haven’t a clue.
Your a two sided coin
loyal and true,
Im stuck in the middle
Between happy and blue.

No more treats
No more walks
Fourteen years
Side by side.
Memories I will treasure
Walking with you
been a pleasure,
This Faithful hound
Today she died
Tears this morning
I have cried
Now I must get on
With the rest of my life
The demise of old hound
My faithful wife. (Pug)

Some people
Like to gamble
You will
Generally lose
Some people
Like to love
Some people
Like the *****
When all is done
You will lose.
When angels sing
The door bells ring
You will lose
From the beginning
Of time
Life and death
Should be a crime
The sun don’t shine
Please don’t whine
When you lose.

You hide your feelings
Inside a web of doom
You must take a hit
If you want to bloom.
A candle can’t burn
If it’s never alight
There’s a sun in you
Somewhere
Waiting to shine bright.
You make everything
Difficult
It’s hard to relate
I want to be your lover
Not just a date.

Lost and found
circles and squares
Sadness happiness
Bananas and pears.
Gingerbread candy bars
Marmalade or jam
Never make judgements
Even when you can.

Milk and honey
Food for thought
Long and the tall
Of it ,the
Fat and the short.
Frogs and toads
To perfect lovers
Don’t judge a book
By its ****** cover.

Everything is nothing
Badness  is good
Loneliness is loneliness
Just all misunderstood.

Hallelujah brothers
The salivating army
Is coming through.

There was a story
If it was told
If you read it
You wouldn’t
Get old.

The words were
Horrendous  so
****** sad
If you read them
They would send
You mad.

I read this book
And it was the goat
I took a knife
And cut my throat.

There was a story
If it was told
If you read it
You wouldn’t
Get old.

The sun needs
A holiday
It wants to
Getaway
Needs a
Different
outlook
Somewhere
Nice to play.
A dip in the
Ocean
Smoke a big
Cigar
Cool down
A little
Drive a red
Ferrari car
Hang out
With ladies
Eat olives
From a jar
Drink fancy
Cocktails in
A suave and
swanky bar,
Like to get
Married
Ride a hobby horse
Now that last one
Is stupid of course.

Kings and queens
Live in castles
Out of the orphanage
Came a ***** rascal.
This orphan he
Had no dreams
It was all about
Murdering this
King and queen,
See the queen was
his mother
She had an affair
The boy was told
Mother and father
We’re dead and
They did not care.
He hatched a plan
They must atone
This orphan rascal
Was heir to the throne.
The plan was a scandal
A fall from grace
The story in the tutorials
Took pride of place.
This orphan boy who
was Destined to be king
Now another chapter begins.

Big
piggies
In a pen
You all
will
Be
forsaken.
That is
The farmers
Way
Four trotters
And
Sliced
Bacon.

They come and go
These horrible thoughts,
Not staying long
Never to be caught.
The thought police
Are grabbing and pulling,
There I stand a rusty shilling.
Twisted mind a tortured soul
I swim around my begging bowl.
The Ravens peck at my open eyes
A nightmare in which I live
Sometimes I wish that I could cry
My head is an open sieve.

Thoughts that make me
May be right or wrong
Who is to judge ?
life to me is one mistake
A rotting egg.
Oh **** a gene pool of fools
An idiot without bucket.
I've won the lottery
One hundred million
who,s going to water the plants.
A ticking time bomb
Need to return to the womb
Life seems ridiculous
On the rope I do dangle.

Cryptic crossword compiler
Suddenly died.
Police
the autopsy people
Never knew why.
The crossword  compiler
Was a clever dude
Left the police lots
Off clues
Autopsy could not
shed no light
Detectives they to
not so bright.
Suicide no no no
Poison just a
step to low.
So do you want to
Know how he met his maker
Answer will be in
tomorrows paper.
If your reading this
And at a loss
Visit the cemetery
He’s buried there
Three down and two across.