Thoughts that make me
May be right or wrong
Who is to judge ?
life to me is one mistake
A rotting egg.
Oh **** a gene pool of fools
An idiot without bucket.
I've won the lottery
One hundred million
who,s going to water the plants.
A ticking time bomb
Need to return to the womb
Life seems ridiculous
On the rope I do dangle.

Cryptic crossword compiler
Suddenly died.
Police
the autopsy people
Never knew why.
The crossword  compiler
Was a clever dude
Left the police lots
Off clues
Autopsy could not
shed no light
Detectives they to
not so bright.
Suicide no no no
Poison just a
step to low.
So do you want to
Know how he met his maker
Answer will be in
tomorrows paper.
If your reading this
And at a loss
Visit the cemetery
He’s buried there
Three down and two across.

Three blind mice
One on dope
So thee other two shot him
Now they can't cope
A problem occurs
The end you cannot see
Two don't work its always
Better with three.
Rivers become seas
Without the banks and trees
I cannot cope when it's me me,
Three hands on a clock while it's telling time
Two little mices now swinging for their crime,
Troublesome

Swam five oceans
Swam seven seas
To say these words
To the tune of three
Climbed Mount Everest
Walked to Kathmandu
To say these words
These words to you
I've been to heaven
I've ran through hell
These three little words
To you I must tell
I searched and searched
I tragically went blind
Year upon year
Going out of my mind
Then I died
I did not know what to do
So on my epitaph I had
Written I hate you

Thrill seeker me
I jumped of a kerb
Me and my tiny
Brain thought
It was superb.
Life don’t exist
If you say
I can’t
Take it from me
This thrill seeker
Ant

Tick tock tick tock
Time is at a low
Tick tock tick tock
Where shall we all go.

Heaven will not except this
It can feel all the angry hate
Heaven is this natural world
Stop before its to late.

We are just passengers
Stuck in a hateful time
this world will eradicate us
Like it has done in the past.

Tick tock tick tock
Time will always decide
tick tock tick tock
When two worlds wish to collide.

Fly the flag of hypocrisy
Dance to the establishment tune
Fly the flag of madness
As the cow jumped over the moon.

Sparkling eyes
Lips so red
Never blue
Loving you

Tender touch
Skin of silk
Never blue
Loving you

Diamond smile
Welcoming prose
Loving you
Never blue

Your are alive
I am just dead
I’m just flawed
In my sweet head
Never blue
Loving you.

Tip top

Poet surfer
After reviews
Thousands
A day
That will do.
Problem is
Do you
Have to be
Good
Most poetry
Is there
And
misunderstood.

Watching the
cactus grow
Not very exciting
And very slow,
Time for me
Is an exercise
The numbers
Are different
Which is no surprise.
Boredom is an awful pain
Loneliness makes you fragile
Everything’s the same.
Thoughts are like
A bowl of vegetable soup
Jumping back and forwards
Through a very small loop.
Hope I don’t live to see
Another day
So Im waiting for god
To take my breath away.

Lyrics are drowning
While the
Music plays on.
Splashes are getting
Bigger
from this
dying song.
Staves are crumbling
The music
plays on,
waves are
Devouring
Notes
of this
Grand
old song,
Clef is going down
With a sinking stave
Notes are not in order
Starting to misbehave .
Crotchets and minims
They don’t agree
All of this rhyme
Was lost deep in
Middle C.

Im a ******
Fruity cake
Narcissistic
I’m a fake.
Im bombastic
Un fantastic
Non aspire
A very good liar.
Im offensive
Very defensive
Self harmer
Non charmer.
Sick in the head
Not easily led
Sharp as a spoon
A capable loon.
Im a teaser
Not an appeaser
Im not well
Reading this
you can tell.
To all those trackers
I have to say,
My profile is
Im just crackers.

When people die
Their shadows still play
In the playground of the sun
This playground accepts
All shadows
It has since time begun

I am your Bonny
You are my Clyde
Together forever
Side by side .
Take to the highways
Travel through towns
Run with the ups
Push away the downs.
We will sleep under
The stars look up
At the moon
Greet every sunrise
As if the light in the room.
We will dance the meadows
Sing to the hills
Everyday we will blossom
With the people we ****.

Afraid of you
Yes I am
Your like a grenade
In a bake bean can.
Volatile excited loon
Your the lead weight
Inside a big fat balloon,
Your the fire from
The lighted candle
Very lovely to hard
To handle.
Electric wire
In a bucket of water
I think I’d be hung up and
Lovingly tortured.
For me you sweetheart
To many ifs and buts,
So Im going to decline
And you can keep
Your legs shut.

Walking among tombstones
Being at home with the dead
Living with footsteps that leave no tread
Smell of the corpse,the odour of hell
Come and join me,have no story to tell.
we can drink some wine entwine as one
Walking among tombstones can be so much fun
Read my name, read thee epitaph
On the road to hell it could be a laugh
Living with footsteps that make no sound
To walk with me ,you must enter the ground

Playing bowls
On a green rink
Harder than golf
I do think.
Got to roll a wood
To a ball
called Jack
Then turn around
And then
play back.
Playing this game
Will shatter
my heart
Will hurt
my soul
Because I’m crap
At golf
And now
******* bowls.

All my disciples
Are eating
L S D trifles
Fred
Harry
Bill
And
Ben
Spaced out,
Thought they were
The Diddy men.
They followed me
Down the garden path
Those L S D trifles
We’re such a laugh.

He’s living the
Capitalist dream
So much money
It’s awfully obscene
All that money
All that wealth
It can’t be good
For any bodies
Health.
He’s living the
Poverty scream
Just enough money
Stay warm and clean
Not much money
Not much wealth
This seems better
For your health
I am old
Sometimes cold
Am I happy
Too right Im not.

Three blind rats
The violent type
Ran the sewers
Day and night.
Every sewer was
Their domain
To any outsider
They would
Inflict pain.
Billy,Bolly,Bango,
Had a friend called Dave
If you misbehave
I’ll give you the plaque.
Im a ***** rat
Top of the world

Riding
along
Im a
Nuclear
Bomb
Top of the
The world
Singing
A song
I was
Up there
Where
I belong
Yippee.
I had
To much
Charm
To do any
Harm,
Maybe I
Could work
On a sweet
Little farm
Maybe
Go swimming
In a nice
Cool tarn.
I wish I was
Something
Else
A readable
Book upon
A shelf.
But I got
A job to do
Apparently
To protect all
Of You.

Walking through
happiness
With a frog
on my head
Wearing a tutu
Thats slightly
bright red.
Our home was
A transit
Shaped like a *****
We were great
You should have
Seen us.
Stongingly proud
Stiff upper lip
The frog
In a bikini
And a Elvis quiff.
Then one day froggy
Ran of with a
Beautiful blonde
Got married and lives
In a romantic pond.
Me and my transit
Travelling all alone
Sitting talking to a traffic cone.

You have no sight
But beautiful eyes
Your sunshine mind
Your elegant poise
Counteracts that
You can’t hear noise
I love you
So very much so
When we make love
Everything’s fruitful
With tender touch.

Spielberg had his scary jaws
Hitchcock filmed his crows
Lucas serialised Star Wars
As rocky balboa came to blows
Tarrentino pulped his fiction
Oscar Schindler built his ark
hammer house scared us shitlees
pet cemetry had left its mark
Di caprio sailed with his lover
Gone with the wind,was just a sham
Titanic would never  ever recover
633 squadron aimed to break a dam.
Eastwood never been unforgiven
et never did return back home
The long short and  tall of it
Private Ryan was never alone.
exorcist the omen, scary movies two
hills have eyes,spit on your grave
Elvis Presley's film Hawaii blue
Aliens predators,King Kong on a tower
Papillon catching  Hoffmans butterfly
As the triffids begin to flower,
****** and the ****** shower scene
the beauty and the beast
Snow White and Hannibal lector
Joining us for the annual feast
Having breakfast with Tiffany
Dancing on the African queen
Spartacus oh Spartacus with
Tom hanks brilliant mile green
John Wayne died at the Alamo
The film an all round total flop
Eddie Murphy made millions
as Beverly Hills finest cop.
Little shop of horrors
blues brothers darken pair of shades
My personal view is
Toy story was the best film ever made

Time of year
Santa suit
Funny looking
Hat
Big red boots
Knock at the door
Carol singers sing
Children getting excited
What will Santa bring
Star shines bright
On Christmas tree,
Presents for you
Presents for me.

Time of year
Santa suit
Little elves
He did recruit.
Reindeers ,
big Huge sleigh,
All the young dudes
Are Looking forward
To Christmas Day.

Tradition of Christmas
A nice big roast
For all the departed we
Raise a glass to toast.

Pigs in blankets
Turkey basted
Lovely dinner
Nothing wasted.
Santa moaning
About his gout
Thing I don’t do
At Christmas is
A Brussel sprout

Christmas Day
Is Ebbing away
Cake has been
Eaten  while
children play
Christmas Day
Coming to a close
Im getting my head
Down
for a good
doze.

Me and my cat
Have fallen out.
I am old she is
Frail I seemed
To have stood
Upon her tail.

No cuddles for me
Just a look of
Distain
I’m out on my ear
I hope it don’t rain

She will come round
In a day or two
I’ll give her treats
What can you do

Seventeen this
Dotty old cat
Will she forgive me
For doing that.

It must be love
Happiness high
No more dark
Clouds in my sky.
Warmth is flowing
Through my veins
Heart feeling good
No more pain.
We talk we hold hands
We start making
Wonderful plans,
But we all know
It’s all total crap
In the happiness trap.
Sweet.

You’ve cast your line
Put up your sails
The sorceress of doom
With six inch nails.
Will I ever be free
From your flesh eating chains
Trapped in Your
idealism
Thats
Transfixed
my brain.
The only way out
Is sending you back to hell,
Alas I’ll be coming
with you
oh clucking well.

Tree of dreams
Tree of love
Tree of life
Tree of drugs
Tree of anguish
Tree of desire
Tree of anxiety
Tree of aspire
Tree of emotion
Tree of hurt
Tree of devotion
Tree called Bert.

Too many troubles
Seeing no way out
Spinning spinning
No more rules to flout.
All the traffic lights
Are stuck on red
The only option
Is to wind up dead.
Too many troubles
Dead ends are rife
Stuck on a merry go round
All darkness in life.
Your breath is shallow
Your eyes so red
The only way out
Is a bullet to the head.
Look my friend
If it’s life you dread
Yes it’s a good call to
Shoot yourself in the head.
Too many troubles
No food for the feast
All but sad so rest in peace.

Troubled mind
Troubled soul
Troubled with anger
Troubled with cold
Troubled emotions
Troubled with love
We are mucked up
By all  of the above.
Trouble with me
Trouble with you
Two mucked up
Lovers without a clue.
Trouble with trouble
It sticks like glue
To erratic people
Like me and you.

Afraid of Clare she
Drove me insane
Lost all my hair
Now Im in pain.
Said to Louise
Never to part
Carnivorous *****
Went and
Ate my heart.
Tried dating Marie
She broke my back
She was wonderful
No charm no tack.
Never was one
To hold on to
a sinking raft,
I just think it’s me
I am to flipped
Stupidly daft.

**** off the tower of Pisa
Peed in the Norte dam,
Graffitied walls of the Vatican
I'm doing the best I can

whitewashed the wall in China
Painted the Kremlin blue
Melted down the Eiffel Tower
What was this ****** to do

Stole Big Ben from the tower
Kidnapped the good old queen
Run naked alround Westminster
Then painted Churchill yellow(sorry green).

Dyed the Thames so brightly red
Dyed the siene so yellow
bombed the statue of the Russian ******
he was one peculiar fellow

We planted onions seeds on hallowed turf
Because English football is tripe
Then mixed up a bit of tribal tension
Oh it felt so right

Stole a plane from Heathrow
Reshaped it into a  *****
flew it through Donald trumps mouth
It's on you tube have you seen us.


We gravelled the Stonehenge stones
Now no more Wiltshire road
Move Buckingham palace straight to Berlin
And Make Scotland a home for a toad

Constable did some countryside art
I painted the South Downs pink
I got arrested by local constables
Funny hat bloke with a stink

They gave me a job as a Lord
Where I met a queen ,
called quintetn crisp
He was the head of parliament
And spoke with a salt and vinegar lisp

We searched for human activity
On Both sides of the moon
found absolutely ****** all
Accept a live dog dating a raccoon

My last plan on my bucket list
Is to find this heaven or hell
I've had a disruptive life
troubled I know you can tell.

Your reaction
Last night a
Little to rough
All I was doing
Was calling
Your bluff.
I wondered if
Violence
becomes you
Clearly now my
Bluff was true.
I know the cover
Don’t make the book
So this little matter
I shall overlook.
please forgive me
For testing you
Like this
Can I come closer
And give you a kiss.

No religion
No flags
Just humans
In body bags
Nakedness
Give it a shout
Can’t fight a war
With your tackle
Hanging out.
Russian Ukrainian
Arab or Jew
Give it a try
What more
Can you do.
The Germans had
There Stalingrad
The French there
Waterloo
No religion
No flags
It’s all to glaringly
True.
Religion away of life
A flag means you belong
Uniforms are for
The followers
That’s where it all go’s
Wrong.

Thee elusive
Butterfly
You
Catch it
You
die

Bomb with a conscience
Bomb wanted more time
Bomb with a loving heart
It just didn't want to do crime.
The clock was ticking
Time was ebbing away
Explosive thoughts
Of another grey day.
This bomb had a heart
Couldn't **** or make fires
Suicide was the only option
so it sliced its own wires.
Tick tock,tick tock,tick tock.
Bomb now deceased
Bomb now released
To wander on through time
this bomb did have a conscience
Now lives in a twelve o'clock chime.

Twenty four hour news
It's a continual ****
***** me up
I'm wallowing in it
Killings, disasters
Everything's a con
It's making me feel good
I'm mentally wrong
I like ***** washing
I have thee ability to clean,
No horrible news
Then that would be obscene.
The world is square
spinning around on a smear
I adhere to propaganda
It's so  exciting to fear
I turn on television to get my thrill
Anticipating nervously for another ****
A sunken ship a raging fire
Give me,give me I thrive on a liar.
I am still having a twenty four hour ****
It doesn't matter I'm wallowing in it

I helped you up
From a nasty fall
Lucky for me
It was a good call.
It’s not daft
as it seems
I had met the
Woman of my dreams.
Three boys two girls
We had created
Our perfect world
The children would play
Under the sun our
Lives abound with
So much fun.
Then came this twist
Of fate
Christmas Day that was
That terrible date
Presents were being opened
Seeing who they were from,
Ten seconds later all killed
From a bomb.
Didn’t see that coming
On our headstones said why
I never told my family
I was living a lie,

Fishing on the bank
Of the river side
With my line and bait
An incident happened
A cruel twist of fate
I began to flounder
And promptly fell asleep
This is the quirky bit
I had hooked two sheep
It was quite unusual
This peculiar weird dream
See spookily I had died
And been swept down stream
Fishing by the riverside
With my line and bait
My life was taken,cut short
In a cruel twist of fate.

Thatcher  Nixon
Came round for tea
With Ghengis khan
That made three.
Stalin gatecrashed
Now we were four
Who was next to visit
My door.
****** and Gobbels
They came round
Just to see me
To say hello
And drink coffee.
Alexander the great
Who is my best mate
Now that made the
Party up to eight.
Churchill napoleon
Came and rang my bell
Let’s get this party
Started now we were
Ten.
Tea party of all tea parties
I had a story to tell
I blew up my house and
Sent these warmongers
Straight to hell.

Forever together
We will love
Through life
Together forever
We will be
Husband and wife.
We shall make love
Make young together
Forge a wonderful
Family bond forever.
Ups and downs
Have bumps and scrapes
Watch our offspring
Taking shape
Forever together
Our family as one
Making memories
Under golden sun
All of this is just a lie
As I blew my brains out
Sweet I die.

Walking cobbled streets
In thee old part of town
A beautiful lady passed
Wearing red flowing gown
Street lights did flicker
They seemed to be in awe
Looking a million dollars
She was top box office draw
She second glanced me
Sent my heart a good rate
Then she suddenly stopped
And asked me for a date
Confused and bemused
I was not going to say no
From that moment onward
Two winds would blow.

Ducking for apples
In a deep fat fryer
There's no one uglier
Than I .
Tears are made of acid
Head of a coconut shy
Body all mangled up
Nobody uglier than I.
Brain as dense as a cabbage
It's size is as small as a pea
Still never found a looker
As terrible as me.
Elephant man
Quasimodo
Beautiful compared to me.
I just don't give a ****
never really have.

As I stroll
These city roads
Watching people
With heavy loads.
They don’t
say hello
Seem never
to smile,
Just a pedestrian
In another mile.
Red light
Green light
Unaware
These city
Streets
They seem
So bare.

Happy i am
Dancing in flowers.
Happy I am
Feelings are great
Happy I am
Going on a date.
Happy I am
A dinner for two.
Happy I am
I must not rant,
Happy I am
Not to
get excited
And piddle
My pants.
Happy I am
I just got paid
Happy I am
I’ve never
Been laid
Happy I am
Like champagne
In a coffee cup
Im staying
Undateable
Because
He never turned up.
Sat at the table
Put on a smile
Felt undateable
Still un-relatable
Not happy I am
I feel deeply cut
Looks like
Another night in
With me legs shut.

I had no shoes
Just Hand me down pants
Not a pair of trainers in sight,
Food was scarce
Boredom was rife
It was freezing cold at night.
Don't insult me by saying
I was under privileged .
Tv was a pleasant dream
Not a dazzling 60inch screen
Not much contact, oh we did moan
we did not idle on ones  mobile phones
Please mr bbc do not say we were poor
We were not rotten to the privileged core.
Everybody's so sorry for the ******* past
Everybody,s trying to be right
Take your head from up your ****
I'm not interested in your plight.

I’ve got a terrible story
Of violence and butchery
The butchers ****** apron
Filled up many a cemetery.
Admiral Nelson flew
His flag many didn’t even
Make the body bag.
Captain cook
Natives mis took
At there terrible demise
In the Caribbean
You can still hear
There blooded cries.
The butcher apron flies
On every warship
Building an empire
For  good old queen Vic
We built our cities
On sugar cane
Through suffering
Lots of pain.
Mothers
Fathers
Sons and
Daughters
The butchers apron
Had no heart
It was all about
The slaughter.

In the redness of time
Words will be drawn
Messages get mixed
Hatred lines are born.
Unite all the rivers
Bridges must not burn
Problem with momentum
It's difficult to return.

In my uniform
Proud as punch
Serving the
Well to do
To an exquisite
lunch.
Second course
I got ready to serve
Then disaster hit
We collided with
A berg.
Feeling unlucky
Rather sick
Serving customers
On the titanic.

My life was not full
I was about to start
My shift at a
Nuclear plant
They call Chernobyl.

Unlucky me
From a job
I wouldn’t cower,
Just got a cleaning job
At one of the twin towers
My shift was about to
Begin
Thats when those
Planes came in.

Im unemployed
It’s going to stay
That way.
Im taking up
Golf so I
can live
Another day.

Walked up the gangway
Aboard I went
Read all my letters
My lover had sent.
Unpacked my bags
Tried out the bed
A nice
Four poster to
rest my head.
Tuxedo on
Bow tie straight
Of for dinner
Going to
Staying up late.
Asked the steward
For some ice
in me drink
How was I
to know
The
Titanic would sink.

Boarded a plane
Of on holiday
We
Took of
We’re on
our way.
I had a drink
And some grub
I asked the steward
If I could join
The mile high club
She was fantastic
Making love to me
Then the bomb
Went of over
Lockerbie.

Went to America
To take in a show
Into the night
The lights
would glow,
Went with a beauty
Whom I admired
Then the shots
Rang out
a gun had
Been fired
Music still played
The pavement
Went red
Bullets flying
ironically
To the sounds of
The
grateful dead.

If I have offended
In this rhyme
Im a unlucky
Traveller going
Through time.