Not very lucky
Feels like life’s a fake
Everybody is
against me,
It’s like
sliding down
A razor blade
Using my testicles
As brakes.

Any day
When mothers
die
Our worlds
Stop turning
We begin to cry.

Mothers do
not fade
and die
They live
with you
With
love
inside.

Mothers whom
We hold dear
They do live
In every tear.

When we cry
She’s still there
Thoughts
of her
We must share.

My mum still lives
Inside my prose,
She’s in
the wind
When the
cold winds blow,
She can never ever part
Our mothers are,
Our beating hearts

I brought a gnu without a paddle
I wish l knew I brought a gnu
I would have purchased a saddle.
Tickle be mum with a soft white feather
While all dressed up in all black weather.
the canoe and I decided to dream
Of milkshake and Bombay duck,
That's why in the scheme of things
I think I'm all out of luck.

School school
Gene pool of fools
Sinking in the
Education boat
Knowledge was
Not keeping me afloat
Had a good memory
All seemed a sham
It was all about
Exam exam
I had all the tools
So I joined the fools
School was a circus
I was a clown
I fell out of the
Education boat
And I nearly drowned
All the fools I had to fob
Changed tactics
And got a teachers job.

I met a blue budgie
High on a perch
Where are you going
What is your research
The budgie had flown
Out of the window
And now I am totally free
So I ate the little ****
I ate  it for my tea
Freedom is  so dangerous
You must learn all the rules
I met a blue budgie
Or was it just a fool.

You come around
Just once a week
And I love it,
It’s the company
I seek
and the
Smile on your face,
Every time you
Visit my place.
You are a treasure
I pay for the pleasure
Im in pain it’s
Pleasure I seek
At least I feel human
Once a week.

Cinderella had
Two ugly sisters
And a wicked mum
Cinderella a buxom
Lass she knew
How to have fun.
She brought a magnum
Not the ice cream type
To **** them all
when the time
Was right.
Cinderella never
Went to the ball
She wasn’t interested
In the  ****** shoe
With premeditation
She knew what to do.
Wearing a gown so
Silky red
She popped the trio
In their heads.
This wonderful
pantomime was
All the rage
Three dead people
And a ****** stage.

We are going to
To the sun in
A paper plane
People at the
Air station
Thought we were
Insane
My mate Fred said
When the time is right
The sun is cooler
We will fly at night,
Will pack some water
It might get hot we
Will wear just underpants
Sandals and socks,
Time for take off
Sunward bound
You guessed it
We didn’t even
get of the
Ground.
Next excursion of
to mars
In a biscuit tin
But first we
Must eat all the
Contents within.

The promise land is calling
But I can’t help falling
The land of beauty
The land of hope
Im high on sunshine
So why am I swinging
From the end of this rope.
A spinning world
I need to depart
The promise land is calling
Is death really a new start.
Is there life after death
Im not sure
I don’t care
Paradise is freedom
from to much despair.

Don’t say this
Don’t say that
Don’t touch this
Don’t touch that,
Is this a parent thing
Or just a terrible trap,
Sit up straight
Don’t slurp your tea
What ever they say
I shall not agree.
Smoking is bad
Alcohol is a sin
All this parenting
Thing is growing thin.
Mum and dad making
My life a
living hell
Im thinking of getting out
Explode and rebel
Got a slight problem
My sister agrees brother
She said your only three.

Basil,
Rosemary
And good
Girl
Thyme,
Good *******
Partners in crime
Supermarket
Products
They would steal,
Anything they
could get their
Hands on to
Make a  hot meal.
Lasagne is their
Favourite
They liked it
Nice and hot
Then having a chuckle
All three of
Them laid on top.

Went to a party
On a cruise,
Lovely
Ladies
And a mountain
Of *****.
All inclusive
Nothing to lose
******* dressed
Ladies
Bathing in *****.
Tickets on sale
For next year
Not taking
my woman
Nor me
own
Beer
Can’t wait
For next years
***** Cruise
Already getting
Withdrawal blues.

Syringe of tuneless cyanide
Pecking of the heartless crow
Whirlwind of volcanic bananas
As icicles strikes the flame
Syringe of tuneful happiness
Touch of kingfisher blue
Cool breeze of  fruitless joy
As the flame freezes sweet
Atomic grape on twisted vine
As darkness swallows the sun

I'm an organism
In a big pile of ****
There's no golden ticket
So I get on with it
Institutions rotten
All To the core
Black or white
Oh it's such a bore
We eat
We ****
We breathe
We die
Under the sun
We shall all cry
Hey mr black man
Hey Mr white
We're all just germs
in a big pile of *****
Hey **

Just picked up
A pigeon
It didn’t have
A head
A car had hit
It now it’s
Awfully dead.
People looked
At it
Saying Im not
Touching that
I’ll eat it said the
Magpie and
The hungry cat.
Just spotted a car
It had no speedy wheels
Someone had nicked them
Now he knows how
The pigeon feels
People looked at the car
The car it’s not fit
For scrap
Fred and Jim
Down the cafe  said
We!ll have some of  that.

Hi you mateys
I am pirate Jack
I like to steal
Then put
things back,
My shipmates
Whom I hold
Dear thought
It was a great idea.
Nick an old television
Replace it with new
Helping people
Who are not
Well to do.
With all the old
Old televisions
Me and me crew
Would replace old
And nick the new.
Especially from
the well to do.
Hi you mateys
From my prison cell
As you know things
Didn’t go well
See I’m still pirate Jack
Give me two years
And I’ll be back.

There’s a place
On top of the hill
Where they prescribe me
My happy pill,
Through revolving doors
And up the stairs
All those drugs
They like to share,
I need my dose
I need my pill
In that place
On top of the hill.
Men in white coats
Are keeping me afloat
All I am is a sinking boat.
Waters aren’t calm
A wall short of a brick
That place on the hill
We give me my fix.
I know I have
my scarred flaws
Everything goes away
Through those revolving doors.

Two little birdies
Simon and lurch
Can you smell fish
As we sit upon this perch
Two little gold fish in a
Rather large tank
One named Bert
One named Hank
Bert said to Hank I'll
Give this one amiss
How the hell our we
Driving this.
A pair of fine young cannibals
Cher and sonny
While eating clowns
Asked dos your taste funny

Poison flowing
Through one’s veins
Life has become
A crying shame.
This affliction
Caused by addiction
Stuck in morphine rain.
Once I was joyful
Now riddled in woe
Travelling life’s highway
With nowhere to go.

Politicians,political Billies
vote for blobby and mr silly,
Filibusters ****** speeches
Grab your money,******* leeches
If you don't no whom to vote
Put your cross on Mcgintys goat.
Immigration,100 billion pounds
We are Europe as daft as it sounds,
Little America to be ruled by trump
UKIP has made us a national chump
I'm not voting I'm going to abstain
Not upping sticks or moving to Spain.
National insurance number that's who we our
So vote for noddy in his little red car.
Political nonsense democratic farce
Carry on voting we'll cross my ****.

Give me the pills
To fight my ills
Poor psychotic me.
Never free from a violent mind
Who am l ? Never to be kind
Poor psychotic me.
North and south
Fight to become my mouth
My brain on a runaway train
who am I? Psychotic me
With a well befuddled brain.
i wish I wish I didn,t have to repeat
My mind has suddenly gone blank
Who am I ? Who am I ?
I!m a goldfish in a disappearing tank

Poor poor Lilly
Tattered and torn
Been this way
From the day
She was born,
Had a family
Of  Jackals  and
Nasty Crows
No one took interest
In poor Lillies woes.
Life was hard there
Was no relief
The abuse got bad
Went beyond belief.
Lilly had a white dress
It was her party
Her 21st
She invited all her family
To quench their thirst.
Everybody was there
Abusers and all
Then to her,
she made
The right call
She stood on the table
And with aplomb
Pressed the button on
Her phone and off
Went the bomb.
The house of the Jackals
The house of the Crows
There now a piece of land
Where nothing grows.

poppy day
Is every day
If your going
To remember the fallen

I have no flag
I have no religion
The past is the past
We did not learn

Oppressed by thee oppressor
Will you die for the poppy
I can't remember the dead
Let's have a poppy for the future

Candy apple rain
Sweetness in those lips,
Picture of you did
Launch a thousand ships.
My sweet little, Lady Luck
The woman of my dream.
You could never end up
In Edvard munches scream.
They you were inside a frame
Decorating my papered wall,
Im still dreaming that one sunny day,
That you might give me a call.
Candy apple rain
Blossoming everyday
Pleasure from your poster
Pleased me in just that perfect way.

All wrapped up
Inside a song
The power of
Love never wrong.

After the loving
Two become one
Loving you is
Wholesome fun.

Come up and see me
And cry me a river
I Keep on loving you
I’m all a dither

In my love shack
We lust for life
Oh pretty woman
Became my wife.

Had a life of Riley
With my wild one
My Sharona
My wholesome one

Waking up were we belong
My life wrapped up in a song.
At the end of a beautiful day
Me and sharona will fade away.

Chimes of the bell
Never to return
You went to your death
My heart will burn
Lost without you
I will have to pray
That we will rejoin
On a sweet summer day

Had a little think
Let’s turn the
World a shade
Of pink.
Start of simple
Dogs and cats
Paint the elephants
Then the rats.
Political
Parties
To wear
Pink suits.
Policemen
Would look
Nice in
Pretty
Pink boots.
Houses of Parliament
Pretty in pink
Can we get going
What do you think?
Pink up your house
Pink up the street
Pink up the prime minister
Who pinched your heat.
Pink up the world
There’s lots to do
If we run out of pink
We start painting blue.

There was a
young girl
In my life
We grew up
And fell in love
Wow it was heaven
Wow it was tough.
Everyday was a tussle
But this love ran through
Our disabled muscles,
We grimaced we smiled
We were in for the ride
We handled our disabilities
With grace and pride.

I **** you
You **** me
Let's hold hands together
You **** me
I **** you
It doesn't solve whatever

Me being dead
You being dead
Let's be dead together
You being dead
Me being dead
Hasn't solved whatever

Hindsight in what's been done
It wasn't all that clever
Better to have held hands
And tried to solve whatever

Solved a problem
With employment
Uneducated me
Im raising the school
Leaving age
To just sixty three

Solved the problem
With guns and the poppers,
Give mothers free Durex
They do make good
crime stoppers

Solved the problem
Of being overweight a
Diet that has no doubt
Don’t let anything
Through your opening
You’re  Big  north and south.

Solved the problem
Of  a noisy neighbour
So I did my friends
A kindly favour
With my money
I brought a gun
You can guess
What happened
I had some fun.

Solved the problem
Of the driver who
Drove carelessly
With speed.
Semtex I put
under the dash
When it went of
He died and crashed
No more accidents
Caused by speed
Because this *******
Driver is pushing up
Weeds.

Solved the problem
Of society’s crooks
Cut of their hair
Charge up the chair

Solve the problem
Of media trolls
There arseholes
Slush and slurry
When they order
A takeaway
Put lots of arsenic
In there curry

Sea spray
Wrinkled faces
Promenade walkers
Doing morning paces.
Coffin Dodgers
Passing time
Waltzing the promenade
In Warm sunshine,
Sea breeze
Fresh air
Promenade walkers
Seem not to care,
Hand in hand they all ebb away
They'll be back another day

I wish I could write
Proper poetry
Me and me cat
Just smile
She’s just woken up
And me pet mouse
Has run a mile.
Im reading  poetry by
Wordsworth
A bit of Byron to
When it comes to
To writing poetry
I haven’t got a clue.
Wandered lonely as a cloud
Been doing that everyday
Stuck with ******
Romeo and Juliet
Inside a Shakespeare play.
Poetry poetry
I have not a clue
Me and my stylus
We go a bit askew.

News news the bbc
its cheap free publicity.
Giving terrorism easy air time
It's stupidity,it's a ****** crime
News news the bbc
Giving terrorist free publicity

Sitting down in puddles
Splashing in the rain
Eating cucumber sarnies
My actions are never plain.
Anything for a little titter
Anything for a little laugh
sitting here writing this ****
In a clown suit ,in my bath.
Comedian,chameleon
300 shades of red and green
Busted my gut trying to be funny
The surgeon removed my spleen.
Sitting down in puddles
With my sandwiches oh so wet
ten days straight in that clown suit
A little I began to fret.
Sweet days .

Ten thousand years
Living on a rock with
Only one shoe and
Only one sock.
The waves have
Battered me taken
It’s toll,
Eaten me time and again
And solidified my soul.
I’ve prayed to the
god, titan of the sea,
I want to die
So please release me
Ten thousand years
Living on a rock
I need new shoes
And another sock.

Eft the newt
Swimming eagerly home
A dik dik on a mountain top
Roaming all alone
A quirky fate of nature
Say these creatures will never meet
Reminds me of the humans in a busy bustling  street
Reginald the Chinese man
Walking slowly home
Bob the wandering,Desert nomad
Wandering all alone
A quirky fate of nature say these humans
Will never meet
Reminds me of the newt and the dik dik
In a busy bustling street.

Where are all thee open doors
Humanity is creating one big flaw
Mixed messages floating on radio waves
Sending next  generations to early graves.
Leukaemia ,cancers  ,Facebook  fungies
governments wool pulling over your eyes,
Phone and drug companies making trillions of pound
While we have blood in our bodies,no cure will be found.

All this rain
I’m going
To buy a gnu.
Shall I buy a
Saddle or maybe
A paddle
I will leave it
Up to you.

Dik dik
And eft
The newt
Don’t like
This ******
Weather
So they brought
A canoe or was it
A gnu

I’m lost
Mummy where
Are you?

My dad made an ark
He made it out of wood
All this rain we’re having
He did the best he could.
Me family were astounded
Creatures came from there
So utterly dumbfounded
The came in ****** pairs.
Dad made a place
For all animals on the ark
We had no lighting so they
Had to **** in the dark.
One animal kingdom
Lost to the sea
All that poo was getting
To me.
40 days  
40 nights the waters started
To recede with a sigh of relief
All the animals were pleased.
When all the animals left
Two by two
That left me family and a couple
Of crew
That night we ate and we did pray
Guess what happened
It rained next day.

I want to be a fish
Learn to drive a tank
I want to be a turnip
And become a tiller in a bank
I want to be a lampost
And work down the sewer
I want to be an e mail
Because elephants are getting fewer
I want to be a chicken
So I can cross the road
I want to be the difference
between a frog and a toad
I wanna be a spice girl
And be able to sing
I want to castrate chuck berry
And strangle his ding a ling
I want to be an allotment
I think I've lost the plot
I need to be taken aside
And just humanely shot

There Was i on the gallows
I had committed a heinous crime.
Robbed a bank,killed a cop
So now its realisation time.
Wooden overcoat,I was about to wear
So I gave the hangman one happy stare,
blew a kiss to the beautiful world,
Then popped out me crooked tongue,
Then everything went deathly silent,
I knew all me songs had been sung

Running into the forest
I was skinny as a rake
The story starts here
It was a stupid mistake.
I had not eaten
Became very weak
I came across this cabin
Thats when I heard
That shriek.
The door opened wide
Appeared a woman in white
Nothing seemed natural
Nothing seemed right.
I slept through the night
The sun rose at dawn
Then what I saw
I wish I had
never been born.
The woman of the cabin
Had no flesh on her bones
All of a sudden felt oh so alone
With her out stretched hand
She took me to her bed
This was when I realised
I to was dead.

Stark raving lunatic
Nutty ****** loon
I travelled to the
Bottom of the sea
On a big red ballon

Stark raving lunatic
Nutty ****** loon
Drove my one wheeled
Car and left it on the moon

Stark raving lunatic
Nutty ****** loon
Playing all the wrong notes
To a sweet lovely tune

Im not sure
why I write
These  creative rhymes
Maybe Im just simple
And wasting my time

I used to eat my dinner
With a rubber fork and spoon
And every so often
a day out
With my red ballon.

Love my lady so
Happiness
Even flow,
Smiling face
Black dress
My lover
My lady grace.

My line is cast
Her colours
Imprinted in my
Mind and
Nailed to my mast.

Love my lady so
Bright eyes
Wonderful glow.
With my gun
I am at her loving gate
Can I come in with
My eighty eights .

Love my lady so
With Smiling face
No more black dress
Loving this place
I don’t have to
join the dots
Thats handy
Me dollar bill
Fit the slot.

children playing in the park
Drone of swarming bees
suddenly life went dark
Time stood still,it froze
bursts of high pitch screams
filled the air with fear and dread
all around me,parents and children
We're laying fu--ing dead.
frozen with gut wrenching horror
I could hear people having rants
Stuck for what seems an eternity
I knew I had just **** my pants
Sirens wailing smoked filled thee air
Blood splattered red,dripping everywhere
then I woke,hearing a terrible sound
Holding a a bottle of ketchup,One red one brown

I miss my mother
I miss my dad
I miss the days
Good or bad
I miss my sisters
And my brother
I miss a cuddle
From my mother
I miss the sun
The pouring rain
I miss my childhood
And the runaway train
I miss my lovers
And all my friends
I will miss my helper
On whom I depend
I miss the days by the sea
I miss the rambling
Wandering so free.
You see I'm slowly expiring
I'm aged one hundred and three
Reflecting on my lifetime
It was good,don't you agree.

Going back
to the
Point of
my birth
To ****
the child
So  it will
not have
To endure
the hurt.
I know we can
Choose
our paths
Sadness
and hurt
Prevails,
If I could
**** myself
So not to suffer
These ails.

We are not
Consulted
If we wanted life
I got first prize
This little
*****
Was fertilised.

Nine months in
A darken  room
On me own inside
My Mothers
womb
I popped
out 11th
Of June
Just a baby
a ******* loon.

Got to go back
Don’t you see
To stop the hurt
Thats killing me.

Smiling back up the beaten track
It wasn't courage in which I lack
I never stayed to face my dark fears
This dread I carried for many a year
So as I progressed back to my destination
I had to have a drink at a watering station
I downed at least six pints of refreshing cider
It seemed pretty silly to have ran from a spider

Rubber ducky
Is having a laugh,
****** led his
People down
The wrong path.
History has a habit
Of repeating itself
No more wealth
No more health.
When the the
Rubber duck
Can’t have his day
We all know what
Happened down
capitol way.
Best of luck to the people
Who voted in the duck.
Always be careful
History books lie
Open the wrong pages
People die
God bless America.

Haunted house
Apple hill
Evil lurked
Time stood still.

Spirits play
Spectres ****
In that house
On apple hill.

Foolish or brave
I had to go
So I visited
This horror show.

Pressed the doorbell
Of this haunted house
Screamed like a lion
Roared like a mouse.

Door hinges creaked
Opened wide
Deep breath
I went inside.

Apparitions flew
Inside the room
Showed no fear
Appending doom.

Noise deafening
Screams they thrill
Inside this house
On apple hill

Sitting in dusty chair
Near fire of bones
I did not care.
Demon appeared
Sat down beside
He was the spirit
Of Jekyll and Hyde
Please I said you
Don’t frighten me
Be good fellow
Make us some tea.

Demon roared laughter
Howled as if in pain
Then asked me if I
Was completely insane.

I now reside in this house
On apple hill
Where spirits would play
And time stood still.

Come and visit me
In this lovely place
I’ll try not to scare
And eat your face.

Post code PO3666
Apple hill
Come and get your
Daily thrill.