Vampires and ghouls
They seemed so cool
They took me for a
Simple fool,
They made a mistake
To let me in
This is where the
Story begins,
See I was evil my
Blood was not red
I needed to feed
From the walking dead.
Vampires and ghouls
They are lovely prey
They let me in now
Can’t get away
For a simple fool
The dead do now
Cower to me
All this evil makes me
Free

Seeing the world
In a different way
The monster inside
Wants to come
Out and play.
They said I was
Nice
They paid the price
My captives dressed
In white.

I’m a little sweetie pie
Adoring Jekyll
And Hyde
Injections three times
A day
I made those **** holes
Cry.

In my wheelhouse
I had no light
In my heart
No wrong
No right
Those men in
White coats
Didn’t put up a fight.

Morning chill
Ran down their
Spines
I ate their livers
And drunk there
Blood
All my life I’ve
Been misunderstood.

Do you hear
Voices in a scream
My imagination
Is my dream
Nothing is nothing
Life isn’t fair
I only have thoughts
I cannot share.
I really don’t
Know what’s wrong with me
Im like a loser lost at sea.
Who really adheres
When you converse
Everything in madness
Its ******* perverse.

Walking into
wonderland
An awesome
battlefield
Where poppies
and daises grow
Dead bodies
Are it’s yield
Walking into
Wonderland
Soldiers
Panic freeze
Bullets breaking
Lonely flesh,
Doing it with ease.
What is all this madness
Do we get a prize,
In this wonderland it’s
The ground you have
Fertilised .

Aunty Mary
Had a canary
Half way down
Her draws
It was there
For 25 years
And won the
Victoria cross

Battle frighten soldier
Sweet garden rose
Rifle fire everywhere
In soil nothing grows.
Battle frighten soldier
Afternoon with tea
Shrapnel flying everywhere
Horrendous can’t you see.
Battle frighten soldier
Ice cream with blackberries
Shattered bodies everywhere
Let’s drink and all be merry.
Battle frighten soldier
Absurdity of war
Chocolate cake and daffodils
All dead upon the floor
Battle frighten soldier
Wrapped in cotton wool
Minds have been shredded
We’ve been taken all for fools
Battle frighten soldier
Singing songs of glee
There’s only death in war
Im of to hug a tree.

Fruit case rising
The oven burns
I am loopy Lou
Twist and turns
Running naked
In  tall grass
While men in
White suits
Can kiss my ****.
They hit my head
With a lightening
Bolt
The fishing trip
Was not my fault.
My ark has a complex
Communication flaw
Im still letting in
Demons through
The oven door

I can do magic
Disappear this
Disappear That
Can’t do pulling
The rabbit out
The hat.
I’ll tell you what’s
Magic lots of fun
When me pants
Come down
And pull a hair
Out me ***

You are magic
I am magic
Lets disappear
We will build
Our fantasy
Then we
Shall reappear.

Lots of
Trees and
hedges
Made of
Chocolate
Cakes
While
Pretty
flamingo’s
Are
Dancing in
The lakes

We make
more magic
With children
on the way
Living in a fantasy
Loving everyday.

Faraway woman
With faraway eyes
Please come closer
And make me cry,
Faraway woman
With tender touch
Faraway woman
I want to fall in love.
Faraway woman
I sense you are kind
Your scent of a woman
Just blows my mind.

Send in the clowns
They have big red shoes
Highly paid people
It’s a laugh what they do.
Changing the theatre of dreams
To the big top
Send in the clowns
And sack the lot.
If Fergie was dead
He would turn in his grave
His beloved United
Can it be saved.
If these clowns don’t know
What to do
Bring back the class of
Ninety two.

Sitting on a branch
High upon a tree
I am wondering
Upon my own
Sexuality.
Am I going to
Be pigeon holed
Why can’t I
Just be me.
Problem is not me
It’s ******* society.

When my brain
Starts racing
In need to ****
Some Time
I take to my I pad
Start writing
****** rhymes

In the morning
So late at night
I read them to
The cat
I don’t think she
Gives a - -it
Well that’s just that.

I take a pill for my ill
It helps me feel quite
mellow
If I don’t take it
I become a weirdly
Wonky Fellow.

Time to waste
Breakfast to taste
Stylus in hand
Shall I stop writing
I don’t understand.

My birthday
Is everyday
Im such
a lucky being
Sometimes my
Brain can’t cope
With what my eyes
Are Seeing

In this doggerel rhyme
Im profiling me
Me and my cat are
Inviting you to tea

Yippee people to tea
Have a currant bun
Yippee people to tea
Oh what wonderful fun

Bye now

In My army days
We came across
A castle
Me and my platoon
We’re a bunch
Of arseholes.
Across the drawbridge
Into the keep
We’ve been fighting
Not slept for weeks.
Problem was we
We’re not alone
We had come across
A ghostly home.
Our host
he was
a Friendly
ghost,
Watered and we
We’re duly fed,
None of us realised
We were all
****** dead.
We the platoon
Of skeletons
No skin on our bones
Returning from the war zone
To our ghostly home.

Mr Dali
A painter of note
Painted
Something
That looked
like a goat.
Talented geezer
Obscure painting
He did
Then he would
Sell them
For a million quid.
I painted something
So Obscure they stuck
Me in a institution
While they found a cure.
The Beatles
wrote about
A dream
of all
the world
Living peacefully
in a yellow
Submarine.
I wrote what I
Thought was a
wonderful song
Meaning of the lyrics
Was taken out
of context
I got it
all Wong.
Tried my best at what I did
Beatles and Dali
Were plainly tip top ish.

If I was a woman
And you were a man
The label don’t matter
It’s what’s in the can
Look at you my Walter Mitty
Is the label that makes you pretty
Who really cares what we think or do
In the end it’s just me and you.

Taking everything
Everything that was free
Taking the flowers,
Flowers from the open cemetery
Mean as ebineezer scrooge
A man with a terrible curse
He once pinched fifty pounds
Out of mother Teresa's
Purse
Nothing phased him
He was Mean as he could be
Even took a shilling
Of child who was only three
This mean old bar steward
Destined to expire all alone
Even God wiped all his memories
And left him,well bared to the bone
Didn't deserve an epitaph
For it would have surely read
Hear lies one mean bar steward
Everyone's quite happy now he's
Meanly dead

Hooking every
Diamond geezer
This lovely lady
This  eyeball pleaser.

Always smiling
Always funny
No need for credit
No need for money.

Eyes so blue
Lips so red,
Every diamond geezer
She willing to bed.

Dresses so stylish
Oh so chic
Natures beauty
Natures freak.

Long blonde hair
A smile to cherish
Loving Medusa
You will surely perish.

Walking cobbles,dim lit streets
Warm of heart,****** cold feet
Winters night,stars shine bright
Meeting a lover,my guiding light
We walk awhile,lips meet sweet
Warm of heart,now warm of feet.
A bottle of wine,two lovers drink
High on happiness,two hearts link.

Narcacistic fruit cake
Ingredients one ****** flaw
dancing to the tune of the mirror
While my Life is such a bore.
Mixing me with me me me
A fruit cake of wonderful taste
Dancing to the tune of one
While my  life is such a waste.
Mirror mirror on the wall
Why aren't you looking at I
This recipe for disaster
will make my whole life cry.
my name upon the masons stone
Read, here lays  Adonis me
they buried me with my
Golden mirror,for all of eternity

I love me ,i love me
Let's love me together
Let's waltz  have some ***
inside all clement weather.
Mirror mirror on the wall
thank you for excepting my lips
Sweet little narcacistic me
Unable to love other ships

Memoirs of Brian the snail
A story is attached
Where he left a trail,
Happenings were of the scale
In the life of Brian the snail.
Memoirs were written
Stories did unfold
Of Brian the snail
A killer and cold.
His adversary in his memoirs
He Would plug
Was his nemesis
Freddie the slug,
A trail of destruction
Till Freddie was dead
Brian had done his job
That’s what  his memoirs read..

Watching the green grass grow
Watching the river flow
Rustling leaves upon the ground
Skylark’s shrieking lovely sound
Sun is shining down on me
As I’m wandering feeling free
Trees are chundering in the breeze
My mind is relaxed feeling at ease
Wandering aimless as I do
On these days of mine
I think of you.

R I P my sweet.

My class mates at school
We’re a gene pool of fools,
The family brain cell
Was shared around
Intelligence went missing
In a deep wall of sound.
Teachers were
government puppets
Enlightening us
on useless information
Most of them should have
Got a job in sanitation.
School days were fun
School days were bad
School days were happy
School days were sad.
Days at school I didn’t
Stay afloat
I’d jumped out of the
Education boat.

Got a cat
That wears
A hat
Got a spider
Who sat
Down beside her
Got a horse
That went of course
Got a pet tuna
Who lived
In a can
Had a budgie
Who flew into
A fan
I’ve got a zoo
Don’t no what to do
Help me out with
This stupid rhyme
All the giraffes
Are stuck in time.

Fruit cake rising
Oven burns
Loopy Lou
Twist and turns.
Running naked
In tall grass while,
Men in white suits
Can kiss my ****.
Hit my head with
A lightening bolt,
the fishing trip
Was not my fault.
My ark has a complex
communication flaw,
letting in the demons
Through thee oven door.

Anybody out there ?
Ooh,it's still just me
Trying to communicate
while wanting to flee.
chemicals and synapses
forming a disastrous flaw
Internal wrangling
This curtain will not draw.
i express myself to an empty space
i look in the mirror
But I don't see my face
I'm cursed to debate,everything alone
a dog with no friendship
And a meatless bone.
24 hours,another passing day
A playground without children
empty and grey
Swings  and roundabouts
Are  still going to war
if I was a believer would I still
Have this flaw.

This freak of a person
Is beyond compare
It’s like dancing
With an electric chair
Has a personality
Thats rather taboo
****** scary
And well to do.
In a figure of speech
He has two heads
One very sweet
Thee other you’ll dread
Happenings around this
****** freak
Is quite exciting
never bleak.
Has many disguises
Rather vain
Is it me or me
Who is quite insane.

There’s a cat
Wearing trilby hat
Look at that
Fancy  cat
Wearing a
Smart trilby hat.

Look at that,
A well dressed cat
A dapper suit
***** red boots
Fancy that
A well dressed cat.

Look at that cat
A lovely gait
Dark sunglasses
My best mate.

Wow it’s shocking
Made me unstable
1000 volts went
Through this cable
My
Electrician
name is
A mickhead
called Doug,
Me I was
Just
a three pin plug.

Military madness
Rearing it’s ugly
Head
Russia Ukraine
Still Counting
There dead.

Ukrainians
Russians
Must accept
Defeat
There are no
Winners in
War
Just dead
Meat.

Military madness
Comes at a cost
In human live
Which are lost

America and the west
Causing unrest
Fuelling the fire
Doing there best.
Military madness
Wise to invest.

Every avenue
Blocked and dark,
Flowers are not
Blooming in the park.
Future looks bleak
Full of sorrow
Days of darkness
Are starting tomorrow.
Factions are restless
There upsetting the quo
A shroud of not knowing
As the cold wind blows.
Days and nights fold
Into one
This is the day
War has begun,
Now in the mornings
Around the lake
The flowers in the park
Know they’ve made a mistake.

You and me
Padlock and key
We’re be together
For all of eternity.
Couldn’t think
Of anything worse
What have I done
To endure this curse.
You and me
Ball and chain
Stuck together
Driving each
other  insane.
You and me
Peaches and cream
We’re going to ****
Each other
Not as daft as
It seems
We like each other dearly
But on the other hand
Quite not really.

I am a
Total freak
My mum a
Potato
My dad a
Leek
Fame and fortune
I did not seek.
I Had an
accident
Hit a
fast car
When the
ambulance
Turned up
I was
Vichyssoise

I came from a village
Very small
24 houses I do recall
Man and wife
Lived in every house
With every child
There lived a mouse
Every father had a hat
Every family had a cat
We all lived side by side
Like arsenic and cyanide
At the time of writing it
Seemed so apt
It popped into my head
To shoot the cat
I don’t wear a stupid hat
Nor do's molly my lovely cat

The ball started rolling
Many years ago
Picking up momentum
As hatred grows,
Divide divide
Call to arms
why do people
Need to harm,
History dictates
Violence leads to war
Then after the carnage
What was it all for,
Heavens waiting room
Is quickly filling up
Beans must blend together
then sweeter the cup,
I've done violence
But I don't understand hate
Stalingrad is rising
Or can we change fate

Tycoon man of property
In Mayfair they found
Him dead.
It looked like
****** a bullet to
The head
Properties a plenty
Railway stations too
All the amenities
Totted up to a fair few.
His life started on the
Old Kent road
Was
Ended in Mayfair
Community chest
Was set up for all
So challenge me if you dare.
The police investigated
This man of wealth and property
He Left his legacy  a family game
He Called it monopoly
They found his killer
His younger brother bill
He’s gone straight to jail
For a life in Pentonville

Six o’clock
Cannot sleep
Tried the idea
Of counting
Sheep,
Made a lovely
*** of tea
Then I had my
Morning ***.
Molly the cat
Purring for ham
Hold on a minute
While I open
The can.
Breakfast can
Be hit or miss
Being old I need
Another ****.
Seven o’clock
Waiting for
The light
My mind
seems stable
Might be alright.
Eight o’clock
Music going on
Love to here
Good morning
Songs.
Nine o’clock
Shoes on feet
I open the door
And meet the
Street.
Walk along cobbled
Stones of to doctors
To have a moan.
My daily routine
Not full of life
Simply drab and
Cold
By midday
Im just another
Six hours old.

Morning has broken
It’s raining again
I’m dancing in puddles
With a glint in my eye.

Morning has broken
The sun comes out
Dries up the puddles
There’s no fun in that.

Morning has broken
The day moves on
Pavements have all
Gone dry
Love walking with world
Nobody asking why.

Morning has broken
Day fades into night
No more puddles
Till the morning light
Everything linked like
The ball and chain
When I wake up
It I’ll be raining again.

Waves crash on concrete Walls
Promenade walkers
Wearing colourful shawls.
Salt on the breeze
The smell of the sea
The Waves are dancing
For all to see.
Cyclists riding while joggers run,
Promenade walkers
embracing the sun.

Sunshine’s on open fields
Combine harvester
Reaping  its yearly yield,
Murmuration of starlings
On the wing
Blackening the sky
While the morning sings.
Clouds making shapes
In the sky so blue
Morning ramblers
Taking in the views
Every morning is like
A Shakespeare play
Every year month and day.

You are the
Sunshine
In the pouring
Rain.
Coming home
is overdue
Please come back
We all love you.

Tears have
Been cried
Since you’ve
Been away
The children
Miss you
Everyday.


A candle lit
A light stays on
There’s warmth
In there hearts
Do come home
Where you belong.

Coming home is
Well over due
Somehow get
Home
We all love you.

Motherless child
Unopened womb
Reaps no harvest

Kissed me mother
She's about to die
Captured that moment
Tears I cried
Laying together
Grasping of hands
Death of a mother
Never did understand

Don’t look up
Be afraid
Aliens are
Coming
They will
Invade

First port
of call
London
parliament
Aliens fired in
A message
was sent
They all
came out
Through them
Black gates
To find out
They were
Best of mates.

The cabin in the woods
Where I the crooked man lives
Where Every thing is taken
And no mercy will i give.
Happiness don’t belong
Behind the cabin door.
Just I the crooked man
A bloodstained floor,
So if you like horror
This is the place is  for you
Bring four
friends
if
you need too,
Bring your son
Bring your daughter
More you bring
More I the crooked man
Can slaughter,
No need to knock
Walk straight in
Horror starts when
Your all within.

Tell me mummy
Why are you sad,
Always
Arguing
fighting
With dad.
It’s not fair
On little me
Im your daughter
Im only three.
Daddy mummy
Whom I adore
please
Start loving
Each other
It’s better for sure.
Me and daddy and
Mummy makes three,
Stop all this bickering,
It really hurts me.

Elvis the rat
Was caught
In a trap
It passed away
Funny that.

Lennon the dog
Died yesterday
Sgt pepper cried
That was okay.

Sinatra the fish
Slipped quitely away
He had the look
Got caught on a hook
He should have done it
my way.

Bowie the budgie
Died on the wing
Jean jeannies
Voice fell silent
No more to sing

Prince the dove
Died today
His red corvette
Hit purple rain
Music now in the
stars above.

Holly the spider
Died without fuss
All his fans wished
He had caught
The bus
That was the day
The music died

Beatles had
their yesterday
Bowie had his
laughing gnome
Elvis in his ghetto
With his
gramophone.
Frank Sinatra
Flew to the moon
Kirk Kobain
died to soon.
Janis Joplin
Mr cohen
Had there
Chelsea hotel
From the sky
John
Denver
Fell.
oh well.
Johnny cash
Had his ring
Of fire,
Ian Dury
Who had his
Rhythm stick
Whom I
admired.
Buddy Holly
Had his
Peggy sue
When he died
She felt the pain
His music
didn’t
Die
on that plane.
Many artists
Have passed Away
Some were just
having a laugh
Some went drug
crazy
And died in a bath.
Jimmy Hendrix
Alvin Lee
still play the blues
It will be
On your turn table
It’s up to you
To choose.

I wandered lonely as a loon
floating high on many pills
All at once I saw a crowd
Of drunkards and my mate bill.
Outside the bread inside the cheese
*******,fighting on the wheeze.
Continuous drinking,bars that serve wine
Smoking milky ways,
Never bleeding ending
Not enough hours in the days
Home I got, I peed on my couch did I
Was in a terrible paranoid mood
flashes of **** grabbed my eye
I'm glad I was in solitude
Watching **** I had my fill
Me couldn't give a **** about those daffowhats
My head hurts jobsworth.