Act one

Im being haunted
By my brother Mike
He was an *******
But weirdly well liked.
A character and
a bad dude
Quite intelligent
Really lewd.
Typically funny
Given a chance
He’d steal your money
He was well liked
My brother Mike.

Act two

My brother Mike
Saw the light
Somehow the
God squad
Thought he
was alright.
I tried to tell them
They were wrong
That
Robbing them blind
Wouldn’t take long.

Act three

Having a heart
Bitter and cold
The god squad
Fell into his
Charming fold.
I think god finally
Got his way
Likeable ****
Never lasted the day,
Heart attack banged
His head
Hospital calling
In act four
Finally dead.

Act five

He was a my brother
A nasty shrike,
Gullible people
They would like.
They would give
him
All there
money
Im still being
haunted and
Still finding it funny.

DRIP

On the bus
Coming home
I speak to
Brother
On the phone
Growing up far
To tense
One thing
We had was
A sixth
Sense.
I was ill took
A bucket full
Of pills
To end my
****** life.
How my brother
New of this
Is quite beyond me
He phoned the police
I was nearly at peace
They dragged me out of
My ****** room
Down the stairs
Doom and gloom.
Of I went to A and E
Then they phoned my family
For days and days they
were by my side
Why did I try to commit
Suicide.
Really don’t know what
It meant
All I know my brothers bond
He had a sixth sense.

Walking down
the road
Carrier bags
in hand
Dreaming of
a golden beach
So my feet can
feel the sand.
Backpack carries
My waterproof tent
Walking to that
Golden beach
I don’t have to
Pay no rent.
Im not one for
Four walls
Open spaces I hear
them call,
The views I see
With my bags in hand
Life is wonderful
Oh so grand.

My home city
Is going into decay
Councillors are useless
With nothing to say.
Bungs from builders
Corruption rife
City falling
down a rat hole
It’s losing its life.
Venues for entertainment
Closing there doors
Brothels are opening
Full of ******.
Bus shelters
smelling of ****
People in authority
It’s the poor they bleed,
My home city will
Always be blue
Run by incompetence
And haven’t a clue,

When I was a child
I had many a thought
Never listen to my father
He was wrongly taught.
His values were wrong
Was society to blame
He hated me because I
Played a different game.
Rules are rules an inflexible being
Couldn't see passed his nose
To grasp what I was seeing.
The gate was shut
he had been through hell
His mental health effected me as well
He took his shallowness to the grave
I never got to know my father
His name was Dave .

Brain is mash
Cannot cope
Not happy
Lost all hope.
Despair creeps in
Well being crashed
Deep in ****
Body thrashed
Cancer hit
Life’s been dashed.
Im running scared
Death unprepared
Im losing the game
Crying shame
Had a good time
From my birth
No more time
On Mother Earth
Oh well

Twisted inside
Brambled rose
Inside my brain
Cancer grows

Temple of doom
Forget me not
Mind so dark
Three dashes
Six dots

My demise accepted
Flowers will sway
Sweet peace at last
I died today.

They said they
Would come for
Me
They never did
My family
Lost in time
I’m insane
That’s why my
Family
Never came.
I’m in a home
The windows
Have bars
If I escaped
I couldn’t
Get far
They said they
Would come for
Me when
Will I be free
From my family

Cyanide and happiness
Husband and wife
Champagne and hemlock
Looking
forward
to
Family
life..
This was a the
Start of a family
Dynasty
Started with my sister
then happiness had me.
Cyanide my father
Happiness my mum
Started a dynasty
A family of fun.
Cyanide died
I never cried.
Happiness died
The family cried.
Up to date 66years on
All 70 grandchildren
Have composed a  
little song
Cyanide wasn’t happy
Weirdly of his nut
This family dynasty
Wouldn’t have
happened
If happiness
had kept
Her legs shut.

There was a man
From Bosham
Who took of
His ***** to
Wash them
His wife said
Jack if you don’t
Put them back
I’ll stand on the
******* and
Squash them

i want to be good
But that's not me
I'm terribly bad
And I do so agree.
Internal ramblings
In my twisted brain
Abyss of darkness
Where I met Jane.
Dear dear Jane
My manipulative friend
You tangled me in your web
Dear dear Jane
My psychopath friend
We shall dance till we are dead.

The end

Had a dear friend
Tiger was his name
Loved his golf
He could play
The beautiful game.
Then one day
He had a stroke
Bit of bad luck
Very nice bloke
On his last hole
He shot a seven
I asked to let me
Know if they play
Golf in heaven
He passed a way
Year to the day
Then I heard
Him softly say.
Got good news
and some bad
Good News yes they
Do play
Playing golf in heaven
But now I have some
News of Sorrow.
You are such a wonderful
Chap
You’re  in the team tomorrow.

Living in a *** hole
Middle of the road
Me and my mate
Jeremy  
the
A D H T toad.
Man it was hectic
Stupidly inane
The Heavens
opened one day
Toady was
Never to be
seen again.
Poor old
Jeremy
washed
down
The  ******
drain.
Life in that
Pothole
Was so
Fantastically
Insane.

My woman
Put a spell on me
The clutches
Are tight I
Can’t get free.
She has this lure
There is no cure,
Her heart ain’t golden
Nor innocent or pure.
Her heart is a star
She’s a strange brew
She’s very  cryptic
Never blue,
Who am I to
Enjoy this treasure
Full of life and
****** pleasure.

My mate Vincent
Diamond geezer
Loved poppy juice
And his Mona Lisa
Upon a darken starry night
He would show her
His guiding light,
With all his sunflowers
And a wooden chair
Mona Lisa wanted to share
My mate Vincent
Diamond geezer
Did everything for mona
But could not please her.
This left Vincent very sad
Down and out feeling bad
Of to the asylum
With a smile there he
Would paint and stay awhile
He always missed his Mona Lisa
He still died a earless geezer

There was a man called Dave
A man of not many words
One of his witty sayings was
You can’t polish a ****.
He Liked the smell of money
Told jokes dark and
humorously funny,
In his company
You would dare not to blink
You might have missed him
Trying to Buy you a drink.
He Liked a little flutter
Would gamble on a horse
More than usual lost
it was
Just A matter of course.
Worked as a lineman
They called him BT
Used to mend the phone lines
Yes For you and me,
A man for all seasons
A man for the girls
He will now be sorely missed
Now not in this world.

Riding the plains
With two legged horse,
A sidekick
Brilliant
Fast of course.
Indians to the left
Indians to the right
We fought those
Reds way into the night.
With two legged horse
We had some fun
Horse went crazy
With his loaded gun.
Popped them Indians
He was so adept
By the end
Of the fight
There were
no Indians
Left.
Horse was irate
Created a farce
In that commotion
He got an arrow
In his ****.
Two legged horse
My sidekick
I made him jump
As I pulled it out quick
Poor old horse
Life got bleak
Couldn’t sit down
For about twenty weeks.

Noah built
A big ark
For animals
Two by two
Forty days
Forty nights
It did stink
Full of *****.
Was it a
Storm without
A name
Or was it down
To climate
Change.
Weather changed
Conspiracies rife
We have to change
Our way of life
There be no food
Inside ones dish
If the weather
Don’t change
We will evolve
To fish.

My doggerel
I will
Still write
Hey
Some are good
Some are *****.
BPD tares me apart
Never happy
Always  sad
Sometimes angry
Never glad.
Always inept
I don’t concept
You can depend
I will offend,
Hey hey
It’s still me
Writing a form
Of **** poetry.
My mental health,
getting
Better
bit by bit
Even John Lennon
Couldn’t write
This ****

There’s a breezy wind
Down bridal path
Morning birds
Tweeting
Having a laugh.
Mr fox ambled by
With distain let
Out a sigh
On her branch
Mother hawk sat
Eyes her prey
A nice brown rat.
Rabbits and hares
Unregimented in
The field skittering
Around Without a care.
Roe deers appear
So aloof
Walk this bridal path
It happens that’s
the truth.

Big C is
Not the fun guy
To be
around
At all
Once he gets hold
Of you
Your gonna make
A call
He took my mate
Jim away
Riddled him with
Pain
Off to the hospice
Never to be seen
Again.
Big C
Not the fun guy
To be
around
Sometimes just a
Whiff of him
will put you
Underground
Big C took my mum away
And millions like her to
Hidden in plain sight
Don’t let big C take you too.

Got myself in a bit of a mess
Insult William the conqueror
I do confess
He wasn’t pleased
He felt a bit sick
I started the war in 1066.

Spanish armada
Francis drake
I sunk all the ships
It’s just  deep fake.

Great Britain is my home
It has a mighty roar
I got up to a bit of
Mischief
And caused a civil war.

Boer war
I had to settle a score
We had a fight
We called a truce
With my mate Bruce
It was a honourable  draw.

I was on HMS Victory
Cruising up the Nile
I caused a bit of raucous
It made old  Nelson smile.

I caused the First World War
Bucket and ***** in hand
I was on holiday
Accidentally
killing my best mate
Archduke Ferdinand .

Sitting at home in 39
Bored with nothing
To do
That’s where I had the
Idea
To start World War Two

Troubled I was
I needed to play
Crossed the ocean
Went to the USA
There I concocted
My next mischievous
Plan
I got the Americans to
Invade Vietnam.

Hope I haven’t offended
With this  bravado rhyme
I just me despicable me
You got it  Im
Planning world war three.

My name is Van Gogh
I painted the clouds
It’s a bit of work which
I am quite proud.
My name is Marcel Deauchamp
I painted pictures of toiletry crap
It’s my painting style  Im very
Proud of that.
My name is Edvard munch
I painted the scream
Nothing about this painting
Is about what it seems.
My name is mark bell
I do painting as well
It’s like my writing
Crap.

Let in the loons
To listen to the tunes
Let in the upper class
With there silvery spoons
Let in the buffoons
Always a game for a laugh
Let in the plebs
Let in the tarty
Now we are getting there
Ready to party
Let in the reds
Let in the blues
Let in the winners
Even those who lose.
Let in the judges
Let in the police
Let’s get this party
Started
And wish for peace.
Let in the Muslim
Let in the Jew
Let in all religions
It’s the best we can do
Let in the skinny
Let in the obese
No hidden agendas
Let’s live in peace
If we can’t party
And listen to sound
The big top will fall
And so will the clown
Party in full flow
The noise will increase
Let’s all party and be at peace.

It’s me and
My pen
My pen is my
Friend
It kicks up
A stink when
It loses its ink
Other than that
She’s fine.
Time to time
She writes
A good rhyme
Sometimes good
Sometimes bad
Might be happy
Maybe sad.
My pen
My friend
Will not review
For all you writers
Out there i

Thank you

My halo woman
Full of charm
Protects me safely
From all the
Worlds harm.
Elegant stylish
Immense respect,
My halo woman
She will protect.
I love this woman
Whom I adore
She rides my train
I know,
Thats for sure.
Her heart is golden
Pure as snow
My halo woman
Is my life’s flow.

I wandered lonely
With my raccoons
With a back pack on
And their
Bassoons
We were heard
Before we were seen
In the mountains
In the cities
Blowing out tunes
And reciting ditties,
Townsfolk would
Take there pills
Following us blindly
Into the hills.
These crazy tunes
Would make
them hyper
My raccoons
Had
Became the
Modern day
Pied piper.
We cleansed streets of
The human race
We took the homeless
To better place,
These raccoons
And their bassoons
Are coming to a town
Near you soon.
You will hear us
Before you see
You don’t need
A ticket the
Music’s free.

We’ve come to
The end of
Your rainbow,
We gave it a go.
Loving you
Was really true
When
Weirdly
A *****
You grew,
It kept on
growing like
Pinocchio nose
I thought
we were in the
Rocky horror show.
What the duck
I do not know
All I could do
Is watch it grow.
This ***** did
A coloured life
When I married her
I do think she was
My wife.

My shadow is the evil one
It has a sadistic mind
My shadow is deplorable
Not answerable to mankind
My shadow is the enemy
We are always fighting war
Black stain on my character
Rotten to its core
My shadow really scares me
It leaves an ugly mark
I always seem to conquer it
I just now go out when it's dark

All the dead live in my shed
It's heaven
All the dead live in my shed
It's hell.
There is always a light on
But I'm not at home
With all the dead I'm never alone.
They taught me wisdom
But never been wise
They tell me never to hate
As your heart slowly dies
We are all statistics whom
Wind up dead
Then please come to, to live in my shed

Living in a shed
With Robin Hood
Cinderella
and
father ted.
Dracula
Frankenstein
Thatcher
Lenin
All are dead
There’s ghostly
Going on’s
In my shed.
Jack the Ripper
The local stripper
We’re
Not easily led
But somehow now
Residing in my shed.
Dennis the menace
Joan of arc
Got up to mischief
When it got dark,
All these people residing
In my shed
Im evicting myself
And taking the bed.

Colours life
Darkness fear
I’ve passed away
Inside a tear.
My body
has passed
Memories
Will stay,
In a rose garden
My spirit
will play

Yesterday is gone
Etched in my heart
Yesterday was yesterday
It was a beautiful start.
Our eyes met across
A crowded room,
We connected like the
Weaver and the loom.
My heart was pounding
Downstairs went warm
I’d had met my perfect storm.
Five years later my
Storm was no more,
She broke my heart
And all of the doors.
She took the whirlwinds
And blew away.
I just hope she comes back
One stormy day.

My sweet lady of the night
Send me into the morn
You took me to the limit
Took me higher than before
Loving you is easy
It takes the way the pain
Stopping all the bad thoughts
Which are imprinted
On my brain.
My sweet lady of the night
Thoughts of you i smile
Bring me back down from heaven
And close your pearly gate.
I’ve got work tomorrow
And I am going to be
****** late.

Blue river runs softly
Through my mind
Eradicating dark thoughts
That have been unkind
Blue river runs sweetly
Through my eyes
Eradicating images whom
Have been unkind
Blue river runs kindly
Inside my tears
Conquering despair
And all my fears
Blue river has hope
She gave me life
I took her hand and
She became my wife

You are a cryer
A manipulative liar
A wicked witch
A nasty *****
I will not understate
these are
Your good traits.
You leave a trail
Of  disaster
There’s no
stopping
You as you
get faster.
Nitroglycerin runs
Through your veins
If I get to close
I will suffer the pain.
Yippee .

Teddy bear
Sitting there
Teddy bear
Unaware.
Looks at me
Never smiles
Been sitting
There for a while.
Daughter won it
At a fair
This wonderful
Never smiling
Teddy bear
.Her colour of rust
Is Collecting dust
One day
I will move
her
Give her
a cuddle
And a ******
good hoover,
My never smiling
teddy bear.
She has a T shirt
That says number one
Dad
Pity teddies can’t talk
I find that rather sad.

I got a pet hippo
It’s all the rage
I keep in the bath
In a vey small cage.

I got a ten foot ant
It’s six foot wide
I take to the park
It likes the slide

I got a pet giraffe
It has no neck
It goes on cruises
Likes the **** deck

I got a pet hyena
Loves to play guitar
Loves women’s clothing
High heels and a bra.

I got a pet crocodile
It’s never ever happy
Always grumpy
Forever ****** snappy.

Twenty dogs two hundred cats
I don’t know how they
Live in my one bedroom flat.
Lucky lucky I can’t smell
And I don’t really care
I try my best
But there’s **** everywhere.

My Spartan woman
Strong of heart
Very tenacious
Smile so bright
My Spartan woman
My guiding light.
Woman of power
Astute of brain,
She’s my shield
When the arrows rain.
My Spartan woman
The queen of love
Even the stars
Look in awe above,
Lots of respect
Hold high in esteem
My Spartan woman has O C D
And just wants to clean.

Elvis Presley
Janis Joplin
Buddy holly
All dead
Now residing
In my shed

Glen Campbell
Johnny cash
Kenny Roger’s
All dead
Now residing
In my shed

Tina turner
Malcolm young
Ginger baker
All dead
Now residing
In my shed

Not a quiet moment
To be had
With all these people
Never sad
I forgot to tell
I to is dead
That is why
I reside
inside
my shed.

Alice cooper
Neil diamond
Eric Clapton
Not quite dead
That’s why there
Not residing
In my shed.

I am a
Pretty flamingo
Totally weird
And completely
purple,
I Think my mum
Mated with a
Loggerhead Turtle.

Mummy spoilt
All of my fun
She wouldn’t
Let me have
A machine gun.
I said it was my
Constitutional
Right
To shoot anyone
I didn’t like
She said son
Your only three
I said thats fine by me.

Roses on my piano
Play me a song
Tulips on my *****
I'm in heaven

Moments in time
Never to forget
Me and my
girlfriend
When we first met
It never went amiss
Still in the
memory bank
That first kiss.

Moments in time
Walking down
The aisle
Having some fun
Then we got
Married and
became one.

Moments in time
In they flow
Caught in my mind
Never to go.
Smile on our faces
On that morn
The day our little
Boy was born.

Moments in time
Life would unfurl
She got pregnant
Again
Out popped our
Baby girl.

Moments in time
Life  got cold
I committed
A crime
I liked to share
I eloped
with the girl
With big *****,
They call the
Au pair.

Naughty I know.

You look at me
With a naughty smile
Shall I go or
Stay awhile.
This the conundrum
I have to work out
You are an enigma
A twisted mood
Entice me in
with a smile and food.
Do I accept
Or do I exclude,
You look at me
If I was prey
You smile
Like a game
In which
you play
It’s addictive but
Not much to say,
I smile back
And think I’ll decline
And  so live
another day.

Talons crushing
Unstable thoughts,
Synapses and Demons
make love,
Looking into dark abyss
Needing a little shove.
Tight rope walking
Between two lobes
Holding acid pole
waltzing with unstable thoughts
burns thee inner soul

Seeking lyrics
To make a song
Looking for a stave
Where I belong
Looking for notes
For lonely hands
Looking for a friend
To join a band
Seeking someone
Seeking sound
Seeking mornings
Seeking nights
Making music
Seems so right.

No Jane
Your a pain,
Giving to you
Is just insane.
Plain old Jane
Just isn’t you,
See my dear
You haven’t a clue.
I give
you take
I’ve fallen for you
Thats my mistake.
If you receive
And cannot give
Half a life you
Will live.
I will always burn when
You offer nothing
In return.
But Thats my mistake
When one cannot
Eat the cake.

Mist on the lake  slowly forms
Then covers meadow green
Echoing silence,oh so serene
Morning chorus,crack of dawn
Sun coming up a new day is born.

You knock my door
I greet with smile
I get butterflies
Will you stay awhile

Our lips touch
We kiss and cuddle
My mind elated
Im all befuddled.

Would you like
A glass of wine
Please my dear
That will be fine.

Would you like
some nibbles
Something to
Eat
Listen to some music
Watch a film
Something
That’s not to deep

In each others arms
Embracing seems
So right
Softly rolling over
One turns out
the glowing light.