The fragrance
of the meadow
Walking the
bridal path
Me my
partner we’re having
A laugh,
She looked at me
With a smile
On her face,
Then all of a sudden
Everything went black
My beautiful woman
Died of a heart attack.

Sometimes I fly
Like a hawk
On the wing
I like to hear
The bluebells sing
Sometimes
I laugh
Sometimes
I cry but
Most of all
I want to die.

I’m a raspberry ripple
My sky is never blue
A twisted  bitter *******
What am I to do.

Sometimes I dream
Of a better place
So I can get out
Of the human race
Find me some bluebells
In which I can lie
And pass away and finally
Die.

Rubber ducky
Is having a laugh,
****** led his
People down
The wrong path.
History has a habit
Of repeating itself
No more wealth
No more health.
When the the
Rubber duck
Can’t have his day
We all know what
Happened down
capitol way.
Best of luck to the people
Who voted in the duck.
Always be careful
History books lie
Open the wrong pages
People die
God bless America.

Sunshine’s on open fields
Combine harvester
Reaping  its yearly yield,
Murmuration of starlings
On the wing
Blackening the sky
While the morning sings.
Clouds making shapes
In the sky so blue
Morning ramblers
Taking in the views
Every morning is like
A Shakespeare play
Every year month and day.

Blackbird chirping
For his mate
What he didn’t know
It’s what the foxy ate.
Nature is a blissful place
When other creatures
Can eat your face.

I brought  a car
Without
Any wheels
I got it cheap
A ******
Good deal.
I got inside
To drive it away
Why do they
Let me out
On Saturdays .
I brought a hippo
And named it Fred
It went to sleep
And broke the bed
My mate Doc,
Thinks I am sick
In the head
I just thought
I was easily led.

Japanese kamikaze pilot
Thought he was hard.
Crashed his plane
In his family’s scrap yard.


Went to hospital
Freddie was low
For a blood test
Result didn’t show
Freddie feeling miffed
I said to him b positive.

I had obsession with
My  football team
Happy wife so
It seemed.
My lover left me
She gave no reasons
I was with her
For seven seasons.

We had a kidnapping
At are school
Police and the teacher
We’re ****** fools,
Panicking eyes wide shut
I gave him a nudge
And my mate woke up.

What do’s the future
Hold for me
So I made an appointment
With a psychic
Named Lee,
I thought this psychic
Was totally ****
He cancelled my
appointment saying
No way I was going
To be able to make it.

My mate
Harry Rag
He liked to talk
He liked to brag.
He said he made 6 figures
Last year,
Bragging this to me
I found out
he was the
Worst employer
at the
Toy factory.

The cabin in the woods
Where I the crooked man lives
Where Every thing is taken
And no mercy will i give.
Happiness don’t belong
Behind the cabin door.
Just I the crooked man
A bloodstained floor,
So if you like horror
This is the place is  for you
Bring four
friends
if
you need too,
Bring your son
Bring your daughter
More you bring
More I the crooked man
Can slaughter,
No need to knock
Walk straight in
Horror starts when
Your all within.

Dreaming dreams
Of you and me
Cuddling up
Under the apple tree.
Lips upon lips we
Have created a smile
I think we might
Stay here
for a long while.
Tender touches
Finding our way
Is this love
Is this our day.
Bodies entwine
In a loving play.

Walking down
the road
Carrier bags
in hand
Dreaming of
a golden beach
So my feet can
feel the sand.
Backpack carries
My waterproof tent
Walking to that
Golden beach
I don’t have to
Pay no rent.
Im not one for
Four walls
Open spaces I hear
them call,
The views I see
With my bags in hand
Life is wonderful
Oh so grand.

You have no appeal
You’re a stupid ****
Okay Thats enough
I’ve gathered that.
Ease upon this
realism bit
It’s wearing me down
It don’t quite sit.
You despise me
Grotesquely wharped
Everything I do
I come up short.
I know it’s all a silly game
But when I look in
The mirror we are
The same.

Are you
running from
the pain
The crows
will never
leave your
Brain.

Your to low
To out run
The crow
The continual pecking
Inside your mind
Will in the end
Turn you blind.

The continuous
Crowing inside
Your head
Makes you lose
Your glow
Time after time
Blow after blow
You can’t out run
That crow.

Climb the highest
Mountain
Swam seven seas,
Surfed volcanic lava
Endured deep freeze.
Cycled million miles
To see you smile
Trawled outer space
To set eyes on your face.
I would do anything
For love so stop your
Complaining
I can’t come over
It’s ******* raining.

I got a little problem doc
Every morning  I have
A regular **** at 8 o’clock
That’s alright said the doc
I said no it isn’t
I don’t wake up to 9 o’clock.
Doc.

Consuming the beans
Don’t hate the can
That’s what they want
Divide then profit
The label will not
Write a dirge
There’s not much we can do.

No more heartache
No more pain
No more cuddles
I’ve gone insane.

Light is on
But no one
Home
All locked
Up
All alone.

I’m a dog
Without a
Bone
Give me
A call
I have a phone.

Poetry people
In the
community
Set  up
a petition
To get
Me free

Who am I
To ask this
Of you
Are you my mummy
Nurse nurse
Where are you?

My class mates at school
We’re a gene pool of fools,
The family brain cell
Was shared around
Intelligence went missing
In a deep wall of sound.
Teachers were
government puppets
Enlightening us
on useless information
Most of them should have
Got a job in sanitation.
School days were fun
School days were bad
School days were happy
School days were sad.
Days at school I didn’t
Stay afloat
I’d jumped out of the
Education boat.

Fragile Earth
With paper wings
Fragile cities
Where no one sings.
Fragile world
Lands are burning
Planet crying slowly
Turning,
Angels and unicorns
Are abandoning ship
On a toss of a coin
The sun will dip.
Fragile humans
In a boot with no lace
Letting creation
Fall from grace.

I am your Bonny
You are my Clyde
Together forever
Side by side .
Take to the highways
Travel through towns
Run with the ups
Push away the downs.
We will sleep under
The stars look up
At the moon
Greet every sunrise
As if the light in the room.
We will dance the meadows
Sing to the hills
Everyday we will blossom
With the people we ****.

I took what I needed
Then threw her aside
That was my mistake
In that moment I cried.
I was left broken
Crestfallen and dark.
She was wonderful
My name is mark.

Aunty Mary
Had a canary
Half way down
Her draws
It was there
For 25 years
And won the
Victoria cross

Kings and queens
Live in castles
Out of the orphanage
Came a ***** rascal.
This orphan he
Had no dreams
It was all about
Murdering this
King and queen,
See the queen was
his mother
She had an affair
The boy was told
Mother and father
We’re dead and
They did not care.
He hatched a plan
They must atone
This orphan rascal
Was heir to the throne.
The plan was a scandal
A fall from grace
The story in the tutorials
Took pride of place.
This orphan boy who
was Destined to be king
Now another chapter begins.

First animal
In space
Her name
Was June
She was the
Cow who
Jumped
Over the
Moon.

First person
To visit the
North Pole
Was my mate
Old king Cole,
He got there
In a Ferrari
Or was it a rolls.

First transatlantic
Flight
Was made by
Someone I
Hold dear
Flying from
Newfoundland
To Ireland
Was my
Best friend Mr
Buzz Lightyear.

First person
To top Everest
Was In 1953,
Blonde hair
Iconic dress
Getting to top
Without a rest
Wow that cold
Wind would blow
For my girlfriend
Marilyn Munro.

I am what I am
Gender *****
Who am I
Don’t give a -uck
Gender is like
Flying a flag
Causes problems
Put it in a body bag.
You are what you are
It Is what it is
Gender wokes
Still *******.
You are what you are
Gender *****.
Who are you,
Never understood
Why you give a -uck.
LGB  QPR
Please don’t give a ****
What gender you are.

Im drowning in
The tears you shed
You say you hate me
Then take me to bed.
Im confused it’s all inane
Completely mental
****** insane.
You don’t
Then you do
Please forgive me
I haven’t a clue.
Your a two sided coin
loyal and true,
Im stuck in the middle
Between happy and blue.

Jesus in goal
He does save.

Full backs
Are
Reggie and Ronnie
A couple of Krays.

Centre half
Giant of a man
He’s the comic
Desperate Dan.

Midfielders
Pol *** and Mao Tse Tung
Nasty leaders
Stopping the ball
from going long

Wing backs Dolly Parton
And Sandra Dee
Running up and down
The Wings
that suits me.

Two wingers
Ginger Roger’s
And Fred Astaire
Lovely feet
Catching the opposition
Unaware.

Up front
Number nine
Scoring all the goals
Dandy and fine
All the crowd
came to see
Is the greatest legend
You got it
Yep it’s me.


Our manager
We couldn’t get
Enough
He was number1
Mr Brian Clough.

We tell each other stories
About our past glories
Some are heroic
Some stupidly inane
Some are about love
suffering and pain.
We tell each other
Lots of truths
and plenty of lies
Some make us laugh
Some make us cry,
Some hit a nerve
And then you ask why.
Stories make us smile
Some stories make you weep
If there not interesting
You can always fall to sleep.

My mate ted
Had his head
blown of,
He’s dead.
My mate Stan
Stood on a mine
His legs flew of
Life’s so unkind.
Freddie Drew
Got blown up
in his tank,
His mum got
A letter, his burnt
Body stank.
Many innocent people
Turned into killers
Turning flesh into
Body bag fillers.
Mothers fathers sons and daughters
Succumbed to there deaths
Just all been slaughtered.
All good memories have been wiped clean
No good memories war is just obscene.

Surfing the world
On a nuclear bomb,
With elegant style
Panache and aplomb.
Around and around
Undecided where to stop
Like the grand master
In a circus big top.
Entertaining the masses
With laughter and fear,
Hip hip hooray
Who let out a big cheer.
Every so often when losing
One’s grip please
don’t get your ****
Stuck in your zip.

Cinderella had
Two ugly sisters
And a wicked mum
Cinderella a buxom
Lass she knew
How to have fun.
She brought a magnum
Not the ice cream type
To **** them all
when the time
Was right.
Cinderella never
Went to the ball
She wasn’t interested
In the  ****** shoe
With premeditation
She knew what to do.
Wearing a gown so
Silky red
She popped the trio
In their heads.
This wonderful
pantomime was
All the rage
Three dead people
And a ****** stage.

Deaf
Dumb
And
Blind
All I
Have is
Touch
Please please
Cuddle me
I don’t need
Much.
I have
A heart
It lies
Within
So please
Caress
My tender
Skin.
I have
A nose
And I can
Smell so
You can kiss
My lips
As well .
I cannot see
The stars above
Given time
We shall
Make love.

I met  a lady
Seemed so sweet
She oozed class
From her
head to her feet.
She opened her gate
I took the bait,
Then all of a sudden
I was covered in fear,
I had become another
One of her souvenir’s
Being lured by her
Gate of hell.
Meeting sweet ladies
Sometimes you just
Can’t  tell.

Smiling mountain
Glistening tarn
Whistling wind
Wooden barn.
****** of crows
On muddy fields
Pecking heads as
The day builds.
Enigma of stone
Nature is born
Sun drenched days
On golden corn.
Watching skywards
For Birds of prey
Bluebells dancing
While animals play.
Tuneful starlings
Thousands in flight
Raucous  of noise
Beauty in sight.
Dogs walking
Ramblers talking
Pastures smile
Crooked stiles
Lovely thoughts
So
Stay awhile.
Day is folding
Into night
Wildlife slumber
Into fading light.
Morning breaks
On another day
Tarn still glistening
As nature plays
Happy mountain
Soaking up the sun
Countryside dreaming
So much fun.

Im going to wear
yellow shoes
to heaven ,
Put all my thoughts
On lucky number seven,
Weather sunshine
Or wether rain
My cat Molly is driving
Me insane.
I once kissed the queen
Upon her ****
Won mastermind
Did not use a pass
I write this ****
Because I’m not
Mentally well
My grammar is ****
And i cannot smell.
I just wish we can all
Live in peace and
My humble abode
As a twenty year lease.
Sometimes I want to
Write good poetry
But that talent
Is not in me.

1+2=4
This is why I
Showed maths
The door
Algebra and binary
Are they confusing
Or is it just me.
Angles and
Denominators
Maths teachers all
Base dictators.
Obtuse and
Isosceles
All they gave me
Was
Brain freeze.
Times, dividing adding up
Its not my cup of tea
Numbers **** there
Not  my thing
I ask you this can Einstein sing
Most probably.

Blinded by your
Gorgeous looks
A lovely cover
To a dangerous book..
Every chapter
Twists and turns
Problem is one
Shall not learn
So Im blinded
But I can see
I have an imagination
I carry it around
With me.

Sparkling eyes
Lips so red
Never blue
Loving you

Tender touch
Skin of silk
Never blue
Loving you

Diamond smile
Welcoming prose
Loving you
Never blue

Your are alive
I am just dead
I’m just flawed
In my sweet head
Never blue
Loving you.

Tip top

There’s flames
In your tears
Barbwire in
your heart,
Your words
Are so hurtful
I must find
Away to part.
Your gate is
Always open
It’s there to
Welcome
me in,
But then all
The lies and hurt
It’s growing
rather thin.
Stuck in a trap
A catch 22
There’s flames
In your tears
But what can I do.

I will remember
You in high esteem,
Upright and smart
Always clean.
Never a bad word
Perfect prose
You were the star
In my picture show.
You were the sparkle
Inside my perfect dream,
We went together
Like peaches and cream.
They will cremate your body
Your flesh will burn
Then  they give me your
Ashes in a silvery urn.
Your memories will dance
With the stars that shine
Wonderful person
Loving and kind.

Walking into
wonderland
An awesome
battlefield
Where poppies
and daises grow
Dead bodies
Are it’s yield
Walking into
Wonderland
Soldiers
Panic freeze
Bullets breaking
Lonely flesh,
Doing it with ease.
What is all this madness
Do we get a prize,
In this wonderland it’s
The ground you have
Fertilised .

Every day is
So full of sorrow
I pray to whom ever
I don’t wake up tomorrow
Then in the morning
I do wake
There is no justice
Just cyanide cake.
Why am I writing
Such doom and gloom,
It’s the mood Im in
A slightly odd loon.
Please forgive me
I’ve left a note
It reads goodbye
To my poetic followers
I’ve cut my throat
Whoops.

This proud train had
Fallen of the track,
Of to the scrap yard
No turning back,
Last trip in to town
Past the cathedral
With steeple
Then committed suicide
Buy throwing itself
In front of a cue of people.

You hide your feelings
Inside a web of doom
You must take a hit
If you want to bloom.
A candle can’t burn
If it’s never alight
There’s a sun in you
Somewhere
Waiting to shine bright.
You make everything
Difficult
It’s hard to relate
I want to be your lover
Not just a date.

Who am I ?
a player
In your game
Will I be just an
Encounter
Never knowing
My name
A night of passion
A night of wine
Silky touch
Loving hands
Im I to be
A one night stand.
Hope so
It feels so right
Only problem
I got to tell
The wife

All year been
Rather sad
Not been good
Feeling bad.
Been couped up
All year long
This year  I feel there's
Something wrong.
Moths have been
Picking at  my brains.
Been all year
Going insane
This year doing
something
Different
Whoops Im under a train.

If everyone was all right
There will nobody left
If everyone was happy
There will no one bereft

Look me dear
I don’t give a ****
Our lives together
Has been one big sham.
You started the lies
When you said I do
You slept with me
Then the vicar too.
I knew of your hurtful
Wicked ways
I too slept with her
And I still do today.

Sweet Marie
Girl of my dreams,
Sadistic *****
Classy obscene.
Dream lover
Dressed to ****,
Nymphomaniac
She loves to thrill.
Cyanide lips
Fantastic *******,
*** on the agenda
Was a daily fest.
I am her medicine
Lucky old me,
Im in her clutches
Never wanting to be free.

Ten thousand years
Living on a rock with
Only one shoe and
Only one sock.
The waves have
Battered me taken
It’s toll,
Eaten me time and again
And solidified my soul.
I’ve prayed to the
god, titan of the sea,
I want to die
So please release me
Ten thousand years
Living on a rock
I need new shoes
And another sock.

The poem killer
On the prowl
Doing ***** deeds
****** most fowl,
Grammar wrong
Will erase mistakes
Post on line
As works of fake.
Smelling mistakes
Words not smelt right
Poems will  die
without
A fight.
The poem killer
Poets dread
That their works
Will never be red.
These doggerel rhymes
Not fit to reed
As a righter
Shall I **** seed.