mariana

mariana Jun 2018

how does something last?
do you take tons of pictures?
post like online
and keep them there?
do you print them?
and frame them
for the top shelf of the fireplace?
or do you take everything in?
second by second
holding onto them likes its the end of the world?
do you make things last?
do you consider important moments
memorable?

everything is on a train
a never ending train
going around in circles
making stops for people to get on and off
but there will be no cargo
no material things
the only valuable
shall remain inside your thoughts and memories

like your seventh birthday
or eighth
whichever you consider your most favorite
or like the time you first fell down
and saw the blood seeping out from the wound
the first time you actually felt real
pain
pain will remain in your memories
pain is one of the things that will last
but not a moment longer than this
will you tolerate it
because another thing that lasts
is departing

you'll see him or her go in an instant
you try to reach out but you miss
it will last
the thought of touching them
will last
and its something you'd think of
last

#11

mariana Jun 2018

i can play the guitar now

and also the violin
all the lessons i took
i can still remember them
the special way i had to hold the bow
the way my posture had to be
the posture of a princess
the way i slowly learned the chords

i can play the guitar now
i learned pretty fast
it all started because of one song
that pulled to me like
a magnet

i can also sing
im a soprano
ive been told i have a nice voice
but i just find it
normal

i wish i could play the harp
i could play my most favorite songs
the heavenly sound of a harp
could echo through the walls of my home

but at least i can play the guitar
im happy with that

#10

mariana Jun 2018

somewhere only we know

we've been apart from each other for so long
usually it'd be a normal day
where you'd walk me home
we'd pass by the tree i love so much
but don't know the name of
we'd see my favorite fish
tancho
we'd go down the roads
we hold hands on
sneak a kiss or two
when no one is around
this is what i need
you by my side, holding my hand, sneaking kisses
time away from you kills me
promise me when we're together again
we'll go see the tree
the fish
the roads
somewhere only we know
i only want to be there with you
and only you

#9

mariana May 2018

given up

i've given up on finishing
the book i was going to dedicate to you
i've given up on writing
letters for you everyday
i've given up on making
multiple poems for you
i've given up
because you clearly have
what happened to taking stuff
leading to her
down off the walls
it kills me seeing
you have no intention
of taking them down
every word for her
"I will always love you. Always."
it
kills
me
k i l l s m e

mariana Apr 2018

thoughts

and hopelessness
wraps itself around
my not so small frame
and when it does
it is like a boa constrictor
squeezing hard enough
to rupture my blood pressure
hopelessness is merciless when it comes to me

but sometimes
I am hopelessness
upon myself do I become a boa constrictor
upon myself do I become merciless
this is when I think that no one
not a single soul
can come and save me
except for one

#8

mariana Apr 2018

batch 17-18

we have the freedom to set foot on the scene
we are competent to stand firm on our feet
dynamistic in the battle are we
no loss to claim
for these one hundred and three

my have you guys brought these past four years
up and down our high school life
a kick start roller coaster
only to prepare us for whats up ahead

i thought high school was going to be
a complete pain in the ***
something that would change me
it was

you guys taught me
to not trust everyone i knew
to not open up to specific people
and to stand up for myself at the worst of times

you guys also taught me
that being myself is great
having a cute and annoying sneeze
or being sick

its all apart of who we are
thats what you 102 taught me
all in all
we are 103 people
who know what to do now

thank you all
for everything
i know
i don't completely know
every single one of you

but we fought this battle
together
and we can sure do it
as the strong individuals we are
and will always be

#7
// for the green falcons, blue panthers, and red aces //

mariana Apr 2018

things that go on in my head

I’m a person with a wide taste in music
you know that
but there are songs that get on my nerves
and some that I can listen to
over and over again
and not get sick of them
you’re the reason behind those songs
you are what runs through my head
all the time
and I never get tired of you
I want you in my head
I want you running through my head
because I love you
those songs
every one reminds me of you
no matter what you do to me
what keeps me away from you
you’ll always be running through my head

#6