We're still friends,
     Well, not really,
But we talk,
     Well, not exactly,

I text "Hi",
And you ask how I am,
But you don't care,
So I lie,

Or maybe,
     Maybe you do care,
But I can't see-
     Why anyone would,

So I say "Hi",
And lie,
And we don't talk,
When we talk.

I hate that I care so much
I hate how much you affect my day
How when you text me I feel alive
but when you are ignoring me the next day I die a little bit inside

Why would you paint such a beautiful  picture in my head
When you know you can't love me back
Your thoughts are still going to a different girl but mine keep holding onto you
How do I do this? We are both hurting but for different lovers

I wish we could work
I wish you would realize that I would give you my world but no you don't care as much as I do I am just a rebound for all you knew
And you know what I hate the most?
I hate that after all you put me through I am still in love with you

can i be close to You again
or have i ruined myself so much
that You don't even recognize me
sometimes i don't even recognize
myself when i look into the mirror
my dearest friend
i want to come back home
but i'm not sure i'm welcomed
there anymore
if i could just hold on to
the hem of your coat
maybe i'd go back to who i used to be
maybe the familiar feeling would awaken that faith inside of me
i used to have a sense of freedom
within Your arms
i wanted to stay there
i didn't want to leave
i know these past few years
i've adopted a lot of self destructive tendencies
as if they were my family
they all live with me and
god, how they run me into the ground
it's the voice singing me to sleep
when no one else is around

Your naked body
Pressed on mine
We kissed

I thought that
I should feel
Something

Thrill, euphoria
Lust, love
Or bliss

But no
I felt
Nothing

She was the noose that
       I'd hang myself from,
I would put the snare of
        her heart around my throat.

Her words would caress my
       windpipe strangling
me with loves whispers,
              suffocating me gently.

But words were hard to speak
        when she was collecting tightly
around my breath.
I couldn't be with her as I was suffocating,
                                 my actions she hung me from.

(read forward, then backward, line by line)

I ran.
Not knowing what else to do
There was so much blood on my hands
It was mine
The kitchen knife
Caught in my chest
Guilt
Consumed by
Fear
I was heightened by
Adrenaline
But running on
Wasn’t enough
While trying to stay calm,
Losing control
It was me that would end up
Dead. Because
He was
In front of me
The whole time
It was too late
Trapped
I found myself
Locked in chains
My fate was
Death.