Stark shadows haunt me,
dark lies shudder and sweat blood,
maybe I'm alone.

i have anxiety
undiagnosed.

sometimes it feels like my head is stuffed with crumpled ***** of paper: the things I never said, the things I should have never said, the things that someone never said to me.

all of these things are written on every piece of paper
there are so many right now that no more would be able to fit
yet i can't stop thinking things, i can't stop saying stupid things, i can't stop wishing things.

i sigh I reach up to my forehead and i grasp my bangs
with my shaky hands and pull

i'm hoping one day when i do this
the top of my head will yank open
all of these crumpled pieces of thoughts
will pour out in a pile
on the floor
i will kneel down
and uncrumple each and every piece
i will read each one
until my head fills up again.

Love is not a game
And i'm certainly not winning
I chase your piece around our board
In this game you're not even playing

She touched my lips
With her nostalgic kiss
Then blamed the alcohol
When morning hit

Don't tease me
Don't play me
I'm dying inside

Don't please me
Don't save me
There's not enough time

Whenever you come around
My life turns upside down
I'm tired of loving you
Please let me down

I tried to hide my feelings
By dating another girl

That was dumb and it didn't work
Because you're the only one I see

I can't hide my feelings
So I'll just stop trying

I'll tell you any chance I get
That you look wonderful

I'll tell you anytime I can
That you are wonderful

I'll make it so well known
That you're my one and only

I can't look at anyone else
The same way I look at you

You're one of a kind
And I wish I could give you the world

You are so close
Yet so far

So, I won't hide my feelings
I'll yell them to the world

In a peaceful voice
That only you can hear

You are my best friend
But I wish you were more

I can wait.

I miss the taste of your lips
With every sip of coffee

I miss the fragrance of your body
With every breath, I breathe

I miss the good old days
With every sleepless night, I survive

Oh, my beautiful nightmare!
Oh, my darling,
Let me love you
Till my fingertips memorize you.

i thought i already knew how it felt
to cope with depression when you're in love
but it turns out that what i had before wasn't really love
or at least he didn't know how to love me like you do
because
this time
things are different

the slightest shift in my mood
and you can feel it in the air
and you are reaching for me
making sure that i am okay
and me
so used to being pushed away
and told i'll be okay
i don't know what to do
but fall for you, just a little harder

when i break down and you're there to lift me up
to stick the broken pieces back together
never complaining when you cut yourself on a jagged edge
i find myself at a loss for words
to tell you how much it means to have you patiently reassemble me
and so when words fail i reach into chords
simple progressions and notes
that twine together into something beautiful
all this in the hopes
that somehow i can show you
what you've come to mean to me