Like mood swings
on a pendulum,

My desire to give a ****
has gone again.

Only glass shatters
stop your plastic tears,

You're too **** precious to know a paper cut
I'll scream at you real world fears.

Though there is a beginning and end to every story
The human end is very different to normal
Now, now,
I'm not saying we're immortal
or you'll be a zombie until the world explodes
I'm saying there is an end, we will die
but our spirits live on through others
and supernatural explanations which are unexplanatory
(for my own vocabulary anyway)
I'm saying that one day,
we'll rot, be eaten by insects and be entirely consumed by dirt,
time will eventually allow our names to fade from paper
and dust in the wind will become our bones
but we all have that one footprint
that stains this earth forever
and we do stay here together,
We don't die, we just change shapes.
We leave our bodies and become something else,
we enter the empty space called death
to watch everyone else still breathing
with pink hearts beating.

Go on, take everything, you want to
so do it, take the money from the drawer,
the pearls from the little red box,
the watches - useless with immeasurable time,
cigars from Cuba, take those too,
Picasso rares, Da Vinci secrets,
take them all, go on.

Take the whole world into your palm
with your last inch of weakness,
just squeeze, bare your white knuckles
drain us of the materialistic monsters
and with your weakness bring us back to us,
bring us back to this earth, with nothing but a clean heart.

In 15 years time,
I'll walk the streets of the place we promised to escape to
and I'll look up at the stars wondering if you see them now like i do,
I'll stumble over cobble stone roads, in the last stages of our memories,
I'll bump into foreign strangers, I'll be in a daze,
I'll smile politely as an apology and they'll do the same,
Time will have almost done its job of healing and erasing,
but in 15 years time, when I turn a street corner,
I'll see your face, ask if we know each other
and you'll reply with, "We promised to meet here,
just 15 years ago, dear."
In 15 years time, I'll fall hopelessly in love with you all over again.

We only sing the sad songs
and become too tongue tied to speak
our names so the thoughts fall from greater heights
as we fly too close to the sun,
absolutely in love,
with our feet firmly on the ground.

A town like this, with two of us stuck,
has nothing to offer in the ways of you and i,
I swear we'll be leaving soon
and the candles inside us will reignite
and shine
we'll be the brightest one day,
we'll be the brightest you'll see.

Take every memory,
and lock it under stolen breaths
so they won't know, so they won't know a thing
about the deaths
of our souls,
together we won't hurt anymore
but the memories must be forgotten
before they see and know
that there is nothing they can do
nothing they can do to save us.

We will love until forever
or until or heads stop spinning,
our heads are like the earth
they spin for eternity,
we will be infinite
though, we are already dead
in each others arms.

Words that tumble inside my mouth
Stab my tongue like daggers;
I bleed so much pain.
And I really do
I really want to scream these words
From the top of my lungs
But they burst.
This is tragic, this love.
Happier than blue birds that sing
But it hurts too much to even move a limb.
Crippling love, oh woe.
Crippling love, you will save me.
Because as much as it hurts,
You'll still be my rehab, dear,
A love infested detox
Ridding my body of the demons,
The demons that cut me from the inside.
Say it. Say it. Say it.
I can't!
Two words too powerful
They inject a paralysis poison in my veins.
Say it. Say it.
I would love to, but,
I can't breathe again.
I swear,
I swear I'll learn to say it one day,
With my last gasping breath.

It rains underneath the umbrella now, what have you done? What spells have you spun? No more, dear, I cannot take anymore. Eternal darkness traded for pain. I want the beauty of light again. And with my hand stitched to yours, I led you to the train, and on those tracks we died, under our umbrella of blood red rain.

You shake like a ******* crack addict coming down,
Yet, you've never smoked it in your life,
I don't mean to be obnoxious,
But, jesus christ!
Are you alright?
"Get out of here."
Pardon? I'm here to help you.
"They want me, and with you here,
You're in their way, Go."
Who is they, lady?
Who are they?!
"No! Please! GOD NO!
No. No. No.
Ple-" cough splutter urrrrrk
Speechless, I watched you choke
Twist and break your bones,
I've never, seen something so violent,
I watched you give in and die
To the voices inside your head,
And it was all their doing,
Whoever the **** they are...

Continuing on like this,
would be wrong and
you would never understand
what its like to fall asleep at strange hours
and wake up violently
with the acid taste
of your name in my screams,
and memories drying cool on my pillow,
to claw at my skin
hoping your name will appear
in a permanent red on my leg,
swing from the ropes
that held you to me
at some stage before the present,
I can no longer hold onto the nights
you held me so tight
that I hoped I'd melt into your skin
becoming you so that you'd never leave
and your hands,
oh your hands, your hands, your hands,
I swore they would never go fragile
and your hands, your hands would hold me forever.

Some sort of monster from the deep,
or the haunted darkness,
has taken its needle to me,
tying me to this surgeons table,
burnig in cold, cold metal,
stitching my filthy lips together,
digging its claws in to my lungs,
shattering my ribs and stealing oxygen,
Hands tensed, skin tearing on my knuckles,
I can't scream with my head in a vice,
constricting and getting smaller,
brain fluid will drip on your feet monster,
Thrashing about on the table,
like a fish out of water,
the cable ties around my hands and feet
finally pop and I'm free,
my tongue it taunts me though,
it wants to, but it can't speak,
Bones now burn to dust,
I crumble and it takes me,
stolen by the darkness
but i'm still scratching at the walls of insanity.

Right now, though nothing is wrong,
I feel as though everything is broken
and continues to break.

There is a constant war,
Between my heart, mind and soul,
Three usual allies,
That have now turned their backs.

At the current point in time,
Words, poetry and I,
No longer have that connection, or love,
We used to share.

It tears me apart,
To even think what I am about to write,
But I truely feel as though,
I am no longer able to write,
Or create art.

I will never abandon this site,
Nor will I ever discard poetry,
It will always have my heart.

Poetry is not a game,
It's an art, a love of words,
But I can no longer compete.

There aren't enough hours in the day,
For every bird to sing it's sad, sad song,
And there isn't enough human ears,
Willing to listen to such *******,
The little wren's chirp,
Is only a siren song,
To warn you of the little things in life,
That people are yet to notice,
It's so wrong how feather's litter the sky,
But we don't fall down to devastation,
We simply catch feather's, adding them to our hair,
Birds are like the invisble beauty of the earth,
No one actually gives a **** about their existence.

"Pink-haired parasite."
I think that sums me up quite nicely,
Thank you,
But you must understand, sir,
That I do not wish to be clingy,
Though, I cannot help it,
But I am broken and destroyed,
From my past and beyond it,
Too many people have walked out of my life,
For me to fully understand that everyone leaves,
My head too rotten by hate,
To ever fully accept myself,
And this heart too shattered and young,
To ever know not to fall in love,
Well, atleast not so quickly,
I am this horrible mess,
And I will not blame anyone but me,
So I apologize, sir,
That you couldn't handle this "pink-haired parasite",
Usually known as me.

Dellusional and scared,
I'm running from shadows that aren't there,
I can't scream in this haunted house anymore,
Walls are collapsing in on my lungs,
Ghosts have sewn my mouth shut,
Cobwebs have come alive and they're taking my arms,
Pulling, pulling, Tearing me apart,
Insomnia begins to sing as it tries to claim victory,
It has not won yet, I have not lost,
My limbs begin to bleed out as the clock tears at my skin,
I'm sinking into the floorboards, I'm sinking in,
Chuckling ghouls emerge from antique cupboards,
They dance, and the webs make me spin,
I think I'm gonna be sick.

.                                                      I don't wish
                                          
                                                                ­          to read "Meaning of Life",
                      
                                                                ­     though,
                                                                ­                      tempting.

A vile taste, they spat words at you,
They thought nothing but a joke of you,
But I saw it, I saw you for you,
I loved you for they way you'd smile,
The way your hair tangled, and your past,
If only everyone had the eyes of mine,
So they'd see beauty in people's flaws,
If only everyone had the eyes of mine,
They wouldn't have spat at you so violently.

And I swear, I shouldn't have been
The first to see you swing,
I shouldn't have rushed to bring you the chair,
Your spirit wasn't there anymore,
And when I cut you down,
I couldn't inflate your ******* lungs,
Why did I have to be the one?
It's all their fault, they needed to see you like this,
They needed to see the red beauty dripping from your lips.

From that day, May the 5th,
Not once, did your family ever speak ill of you,
Always cried and said they missed your heart,
On that day, May the 5th,
So many lies erupted, that they didn't need dirt to bury you,
In the first place, you shouldn't have been the one to die,
And they should have never told you to take your own life,
Too many times, you'd run away to me,
And I'd see the damage of the words they'd speak.

There is no escape from the metal that fills the rooms
and taunts you in your sleep, whispering your name, waiting,
such a silly game it plays, a winning prize not much of a reward,
it is blood and close encounters with death
that keeps you dealing cards, just to see what one's next,
a yearning that drills your brain like a thunderous migrain
and yet, you still manage to sleep all day,
Ghosts are tired of bashing down your bathroom door,
you know painkillers won't stop it anymore,
they're real and only you can see them now,
I heard they're trying to put your body underground.

The smoke from all the bridges we burnt, 
Pollute and burn our lungs, 
We'll run on empty hearts,
And rotting legs, 
This isn't the worst it could have come to, 
Ashes gather in our hair, 
Heavy winds picked it up, 
It travels with us now, 
Our past, has become us, 
Destruction, our past is destruction
it has become us, 
And now we fall, down rabbit holes, 
Onto rotting corpses, 
Into the arms of forgotten evil, 
Blinded by the smoke of the comforting drugs, 
And we breathe blood. 
This is us. 
We are destruction.

Stealing innocence from a thousand children,
we watch them bleed *****,
we know this is the end of the beautiful era,
where the only monsters that existed,
were in our closets,
imagination flowed through every vein,
kids could play on streets without a fear,
and they were all friends,
this is the beginning of something horrible, unimaginable,
this is the age of paedophiles,
eating disorder increases,
gun wars, ***, technology, drugs and knife fights,
too many of today's kids are being ****** into,
these blood splattered, ***** streets,
and we can't fight this movement.

"I'll never let any evil mother ******* take you from me."*
Your arms like chains, I don't know if they're choking me
or if I'm just scared again, your eyes smother me,
but you taste so sweet, you can't love what is dangerous
and that is me, I break things and make people bleed
for all the wrong reasons, selfish reasons I don't understand,
but hey, take my hand and lead me to the watering hole
I'm nothing but a fragile ticking time bomb
waiting to explode in your arms,
I can't make another man die.
The rope you've been swinging from all your life
has held out brilliantly, 'til this little ***** walked in
and you can't see it yet, but there's an evil glimmer in my eye
and I suppose I am the evil thing trying to take me from you.
baby, I'll just **** you in more ways than you ever thought.

Twisted, dizzy and drunk as ****,  
lust took her hand, throwing her at you,
she's sorry for all the things she said,
she never meant a word,
she never meant anything,
she just needed to be wanted,
cheap wine and stolen beer,
feeding the beast,
and the vile bubbly taste,
knew she was gonna break your heart,  
A strangers lounge and a boy way too old,
a perfect mix for the best horrific memories,
if she drank anymore, I'm sure she would have,
taken your heart and ate it,
because she's a alcoholic beast,
tormenting male hearts.

We always knew I'd be the one to drown,
How I was surrounded by confident people
Never really made sense to me, when I was so
vunerable and selfconcious.

I never quite understood how I always knew
that the water would be the only one to take me
and the only thing I ever learnt to respect.

They always said drowning was peaceful,
But it always seemed a myth
Until the seabed caught me, and ****** away my fears,
fears of the future, the past, the truth and life.

And all the burning suddenly stopped,
like the water knew how to put out the fire in my lungs,
The voices in my head, floated away
and the scars seemed to vanish in the salt.

"Death is just another adventure..."
They were right.

Smoke that twists and constricts my lungs
is the same smoke that will blind you
And the ropes won't stop you falling
they'll just take you somewhere else,
the sadness in your eyes will never leave
and like chains it tightens around your head
Lungs won't rise and fall as mechanically as they should
and I love how your weaknesses are killing me
Because I never stood for anything
I've fallen for another life
I'm ashamed, these walls won't forget.
I hear our footsteps and I think,
How did we fade so easily,
How did we dissolve into the carpet.

We left the front light on last night,
Hoping you'll find your way home,
Through the fog and the beasts,
We didn't sleep last night,
We couldn't bare the thought,
We couldn't think,
Where did you go?
You didn't come home,
And we still don't know,
Like insomnia infested zombies,
We paced into the early hours,
All these worried tears,
Never, never scared us so much,
Then the phone rang...

Only to be a false alarm,
A telemarketer,
Who couldn't quite speak our language,

Once a bright home,
Now so dark and soulless,

A Tap.     Tap.      Tap.
In the early hours,

"Hello Officer..."

I've never collapsed before,
I've never screamed so much I've choked,
And I've never thrown up swallowed tears,
But they found you,
The police man said they found you,
Mutilated in a ditch,
By the park.

I'm sick of dancing around in your pretty words,
Waiting for the truth; your point,
Say it as it ******* is,
Don't polish your words you negative ******* creep,
My heart doesn't bleed,
because your words, they don't hurt,
Your cheesy sorry songs never made sense,
Put down your diamond mask,
And give me your putrid words,
Try your hardest to hang me with them,
I swear, I swear I'll wriggle out of that ******* noose,
Don't ever think I'll crush and cave,
From your useless opinions,
You mean nothing to this brick incased heart and soul,
Don't be silly,
Your stares were never more than spotlights,
I love the ******* spotlight,
You're trying to destroy me?
Yeah... You and what army?

You shouldn't think about death,
There's so much ahead of you,
Lips you haven't kissed,
Eyes you haven't met,
Hands you haven't shook,
Lives you haven't touched,
Towns and cities that wait
To feel your feet.
There's so much more.
You don't want to die,
You don't need to.
Your pretty smile needs to stay,
Others depend on it for their own existance.
People need you,
The world needs you.
Please stay.

Lay our heads upon the track,
Hold my hands, We'll be just fine.
Patience, my dear, patience is key.
Together We'll leave this world, so happily.

I promise you that tomorrow this place will be empty
And the creatures will form here again
Creating a new darkness and they'll wait
They'll bide their time and wait to eat your soul
like fog, their shadows will creep up
and ****** you away from behind
feast, feast they will on our souls
Dizzy breathing and broken clocks
the creatures time is coming
they're coming for us,
be prepared, like fog they'll take us
Oh god! they'll take us
Skies will fall and we'll be drenched in mud
Build a temple of souls, our souls
and it'll be tragically beautiful painted the colours of our pain.

Broken bones and fractured skulls
How much longer can we take the heat?
They expect us to be okay
Under depression and the weight of the world
But have they ever measured it?
Our knee caps are exploding
We're falling apart
No ones ever done it quite so tragic
Hearts have never been so full of plastic
And so scarred with paper cuts
Swords in our eyes and we breathe
Through rotten lungs and sewed up mouths
Happiness and death have never been so similar
We have no idea why we're here
Or who we are, our heads are high
And bleeding from our ears
Filthy words and filthy judgements
We turn to the only acceptable places left
And they still don't apporove
Much of the drugs we take
And many of the liquids consumed
Are just for the relief of them
Those horrible humans
Who think they're better than us; the outcasts
Too bad they made us who we are.

I swear I've never seen a more beautiful body than yours
as it was swinging from the roof.
You were almost hypnotic.
your whole life was always something of a dark show.
And i memorized your peaceful expression
seeing you happy, atleast, for the last time
It gets me dizzy and jealous, i think.
I think i'm just dilerious and beyond the point
of sane,

Stab your hand, right into my chest
and pull out my heart,
it's for you, but i'm too much of a coward
to extract it myself.
When you're done ******* this whole city
I'll let you know i love you
Becasuse I don't think its true,
not just yet.
In this desert I'm suffereing
and tomorrow it will rain,
Tomorrow never comes.
My feet never follwed the wrong crowd.
Sit and bow our silly heads
forgive ourselves for never living
But I really want you to know I love you.

Run away.
Come save me and run away.
Run away, *******!

We could leave this world for a better place
I swear one day, we'll find it.
We'll cut the dying smile from the earth's face
and eat that ******, on our journey.

Look into my eyes,
Run away.
Take my hand and run away with me.
RUN THE **** AWAY!

We're better off dead,
I can't live here without you,
The earth, there's nothing of it left,
Not for us anyway, people here will melt.

We don't need the shackles of their doubt
Their chemical words burn
But I swear we'll make it out
alive, alive and kicking. Tonight we'll run.
Tonight we'll run.
Tonight we'll run away.

I speak alot of the burn of breathing
and I dream of the day my lungs collapse.

Rot, rot, rot,
worms would have a field day with my decomposing body.
but even their digested parts of me
couldn't make a garden grow.

"Gather 'round!
Gather 'round!
It's time to open this cage up!"**

In a circle we sat, mumbling of things
that never made sense to me,
smiling at the black sky in the middle of the day,
like it was normal.
Black skies aren't normal.
Slowly, slowly something inside me
begun morphing, changing
I lose control and these hands,
these fingers claw at my rib cage,
my chest, struggling for grip
They found it, and tore this ******* cage open.
Suddenly the spotlight turned to me
and everyones eyes are black
and they're dripping,
dripping blood, but whose?
Propped up against the brick wall
with my bones broken
and hanging open
All of you, coming in closer,
All of you ate me.
All of you ate me.

No,
The last dim glimmer of self respect
Will not die out right now.
I'm sorry, Boo,
But I will not show my ***** to you.
You filthy excuse for a human.
I'll staple your eyes shut one day
Trust me, I will and I can.
Such a horrible, horrible minded piece of flesh,
Does it occur to you that you're rotting?
Claim to be Christian, but um...
Are you still a ******?
Haha, Don't say yes, you're a lie
And you had your fun between her thighs,
I'm so glad you never met mine.

Shedding skin,
I am choking in myself
And drowning in the sea of on-lookers, watchers.
Twisting and bending
Just trying to escape, i'm still trapped
And they're closing in on me
Vunerable and small.
I shrink into a microscopic thing
A bug, dust, a thing.
I shrink in my fear
But they're still closing
So I grow. Enormous
Bigger, bigger
Towering over the crowd
From faux confidence
I stumbled on the spinning world
Fell and crushed them all.

If she studies this shade of white any longer,
She'll probably become it.
And if She refuses any more,
Society will win, She'll become paper thin.
Thinner than her.
Thinner than him.
Thinner than all of us.
It's all that matters.
Breathing doesn't mean a thing
If it's not this painful,
Food seems to clog her mouth
And she struggles,
She struggles to chew, to breathe
Struggles to exist.
She bleeds for beauty that isn't real.
Waiting for that body to disslove in mist.
Paper thin. Paper thin.
Take me away, down the drain
Drip me down this sink like a faulty tap
Let me drink every other girl's selfish thoughts.
I want to change something,
I want to change someone, anything at all.
Paper thin. Paper thin.

Lie, lie, lie, lie straight to my face
And tear out my heart
It pulsates in your hand
But it's black, black and dying
Look at what you've done!

Lie, lie, lie, kiss me and lie with your lips
My love spills out from my mouth
You drink it,
It tastes so foul! Spit it!
Spit it out behind closed doors
Where I can't see
And lie, lie, lie to me.

Say it. Say the putrid words
I long to hear
Say you love me with no meaning
It's all I want,
I swear.
I just wish to dissolve in your lies
Liar, lie, lie, lie to me.

Plastic hearts always melt first in a fire
And darling, I guess that means you're dead.
Ghouls and zombies,
Precious creatures, especially you.
Lie, lie, lie to me liar,
And tell me you're alive.

Give me your heart,
I'll treat it well,
I promise.
I'll stab a ******* knife
Right through it.
That's all you deserve
You precious, precious liar.

You said yourself that the world doesn't spin for us
So, darling, why are you looking at me like that?
You're the reason I don't like eye contact.
Never sure if you're judging or wanting me.
And you're coming across as a child.
Didn't your Ma ever tell you it's rude to stare?
Ah, darling, talk to me to sort this out
Because we left this situation so broken.
Are you scared? I am.
Are you ignorant? I know you are.
And... Is that a bead of sweat on your brow?
I suppose -
The only way I'd know is if I was staring at you too.

Hippie song circles,
Twist and turn your fate
Show me what's beyond the eye
Taste the absinth and watch the illusions.
Mold me to this earth
And soak me in,
I want to be whole,
I want to be whole again.
Close your eyes and we'll place daisies
In your unbrushed, long blonde hair
LSD, LSD, oh, sweet drugs
Drink my soul and breathe me out as smoke
Dellusions, illusions
Take me back in time
I don't feel right.
Keep me in these guitar kissed
Hippie song circles forever.

It gets dark here sometimes,
Like the curtains have fallen on the last act,
seats empty and lights dim.

It gets dark here sometimes,
Like the last of a hundred candles
Has melted away to a mere puddle of wax.

It gets dark here sometimes,
Like the fog too heavy, blinding street lights
And late night walkers.

It gets dangerous here sometimes too,
Like standing in a violent protest march
As a kid from the 60's.

It gets dark and dangerous here,
I guess they call it 'Night'.

Fill this pen with blood from the sink,
Bleed between the lines, let it soak me in,
Let all my pain, happiness, thoughts,
Become one with the paper,
The ****** blotches represent toughest times,
And the world smiles at the fading happy lines,
This is how I create my form of art; my poetry,
Every word is entirely me.

The water washing over your currupt hands
will never, ever run clean, you're too far gone
you're too far gone, your eyes are black
no one can see you now, the cut isn't as deep as it seems
but, oh my, is it painful, unbearable, ineffable
it's time to swim away from this rip you're stuck in
break away, put the bottle down, spit the pills
and come waste away with me.

Pick our death, we'll go whichever way you want
as long as it's just you and me,
a train, a gun, a needle, water, a disease, old age
waste away, come waste away with me,
I know you're afraid to live, it's in your eyes
and, dear, I understand, but I'm scared too
of everything else, and I'm only here so you and I
are not alone, you can't do this on your own
I don't want you to. Come waste away with me.