i’m.
waiting.
for the one.
who will hug.
my broken pieces.
back together again.

i've never believed in god
until this morning i felt like i was on a brink
but there was something there assuring me
i would find a way not to sink.

It took me seven years
to realise
the words in my mind
were too deep for
my mouth to dig up
I thought it was easier
to open my skin
and let the truth
pour down my arms

It took me seven years
to realise
nobody should be allowed
to touch parts
of your home
or hold pieces  
of your heart
that you don't yet understand

It took me seven years
to realise
I will wear these scars
forever
I'll carry them
through every smile
every kiss
every concerned gaze
I'll carry them
to my grave

It took me seven years
to realise
the pain carved
into the walls
of my castle
etchings of
attempting to disappear
are not a story of weakness
but a tale of
how I survived

I still have your jeans on my bedroom floor
I haven’t touched those gowns you never wore
And I’m stuck missing what we had before

I never understood why I can’t see you again
I still don’t comprehend why we’re back to “just friends”
And all I know is I’ve never felt so broken

I know you like everything fresh and shiny and new
But since when am I just some leftover to you
After all the raging storms we have been through

I must admit I got a bit scared earlier
But the sky was so blue it made your eyes look paler
And nice skies always make the world a bit prettier

When the storm of the day didn’t come
My mind flashed back, where’s this coming from?
I guess it’s still hard to say we’re done.

you wish to buy my meat.
the butcher's cut is ripe and cheap;
a fresh-faced lamb of london streets
and everybody craves a piece.

*******. ribs. thighs.
money is no issue and they'll all see you gloat:
"my spread-eagled angel will be gnawed down to bone."
(god knows there's no heart in the matter.)

you wish to play the maggot.
you want your prey half-dead.
my flesh rots and decays on your tongue,
bloodied on the slab of your mattress.