My head hurts,
Lifes a teaspoon of get the hell out,
Makes me sick to my stomach,
I surround myself with materialistic objects,
I cannot mend wounds,
In places I can't reach,
I can't ask a God who loves me,
Because he knows I'm already rotting underneath,
My fish died when I got home,
**** it.

Go to bed, you're making my heart hurt Bryce.

What made you call a ***** a *****? I mean you asked for it? Dressed for it? Wanted it? Are you the ***** or she a *****? Is me a ***** or he a *****? Did you get lost in the infinity of self acted human nature? Where we move together and we're all ****** on same levels screaming out names of Devils that sleep in your bed.

She said, I don't know you from Adam. And that's when I knew he was cheating.

I'm not a poet, Im an adapter. Walking in a holy consistence, surviving off the exsistence of soulmates in the streets, strangers basically. I see words, inside pores.

They say jealousy turned her green,
Ugly and unusable,
She snubs her nose at the world,
Like the wicked witch she is,
I say jealousy only added fuel to the fire,
Of a young broken heart,
She caught her lover of four years cheating,
In bed with another dart,
Those sheets contaminated with the sins of her beloved, that room only echoes his desire for another,
Not she,
The house reflecting loneliness,
She wasn't good enough,
Jealousy didn't turn her green,
The world did,
The tiny world she called her own,
Thought her own,
Two green eyes,
Warm arms,
And a steadfast laugh,
He turned her green,
When she use to be red,
He died shortly after,
No one quite knows why ;)

Remove the shackles from your wrists,
The chains around your ankles,
The weight off your back,
All of this because ,
I lack,
Intelligence,
Capability,
Motherly instincts,
Cleanliness,
Skinny,
I LACK THE THE DESIRE TO KNEEL DOWN AT YOUR FEET AS YOU WHIP ME WITH ALL YOUR WORDS CRAWLING AWAY HELPLESS AND MORE BROKEN THAN THE LAST TIME. PLEASE JUST TELL ME HOW MUCH MORE WORTHLESS I AM THAN YESTERDAY. WRITE IT IN FINE INK ACROSS MY SOUL. ITS BECAUSE I LACK. I LACK. I LACK. I WAS JUST AN ACCIDENT. AN UNCALLED FOR MISTAKE. IM NO JESUS BUT PLEASE HANG ME ON YOUR CROSS FOR ALL YOUR SINS. TELL ME HOW ITS FOR THE BEST. THE SCARS ON MY FEET & CHEST WERE ALL ACCIDENTS LIKE MYSELF. ITS SELFISH TO CRY BECAUSE NO ONE WILL HELP. JUST STARE AT YOUR REFLECTION YOU UNCANNY GIRL. YOU ARE NOTHING OF ME AND ALL OF HIM ALL OF HIS DEMONS.

I was conceived in a drug induced hellish rage, because life ******. Not out of love or passion. I'll believe this until the end of my time.


PLEASE LOOK AT ME, LOOK ME IN MY EYES AND TELL ME ALL MY PAINS GONE WITH YOUR WORDS TELL ME. YOU CANT CAUSE YOULL BE LYING. GOD WHERE ARE YOU IS THIS LIFE THE THORN IN MY SIDE KEEP ME SO HUMBLE I CANT EVEN SPEAK. WHERE ARE YOU GOD I HEAR YOU TALKING WHY CANT YOU JUST SPEAK.

I'll be a catipillar my whole life, I'm not strong enough to climb that huge tree, or go out on the limb. You are what you are & I am what I am.
I'll sit in the grass, & chew on a leaf. Admire your wings, longing to be as beautiful. As the butterflys in the spring...

and I changed the locks this past May,
always new beginnings,
but I grieve spring,
so much,
to sweep,
Out,
My,
Lungs.

Gasp; Repeat

Called me doll as an endearment,
I hear it as a fear meant,
To drag me back to you

He whispered, “ those are your organs”
I’m transparent  
    


As the tree

Frog


     We


Cut open


In   Bio

All those years back

A rip in the door, a tip in the drawr,
Philosophy or trigonometry,
Epic failure,
Filled with pens & paper clips,
Minds to the matter,
Key opening frogs,
Toads totaling mirrors,  
Mane of Moroccan Curls,
Sashaying  across broad shoulders,
And smooth hips,
Laying on clouds,
Because you can't afford to breath,
On the ground,
Tree topped eye lined,
Eye lids,
Shut.

What friends, am I suppose to tag in, pictures that don't exist.

You’ve been gone so long I can’t remember the sound of your voice when you called me rosebud, I can’t remember why I needed to remember. When I could or could not.

Please
Rip this symphony of strategic words,
Curses that Echo and billow,
Like a cloud of smoke from your mouth,
As you inhale over and over again,
Your cigarette dictionary,
Yet am I the one who feels the burn,
Please rip them from your throat,
I can't,
I can't do this much longer,

What instigates us to get naked for strangers, losing our dignity and clothes in between the couch cushions.

I judge you for your idols and superstitions,
But here I am, praying for you to love me. Hoping beyond hope if I zip my lips and sit on my fists you will

4:09 am and I'm not sleeping. Wide awake, wrists open but not quite bleeding. Mind ****** by man vs nature. A young child battles against wits & wagers. I fall in between, because neither of us are sleeping.

I'll keep you waiting...waiting...waiting...WAITING...WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO CARE!! ITS HARD TO LIVE UP TO ALL THE STRIFE YOU PUT ME THROUGH. I wish...wish...wish....WISH...WISH...MY MOTHER WOUDLNT HAVE HAD *** WITH A NONCOMMITING ******* WHO DOESNT GIVE A **** ABOUT ANYONE BUT HIMSELF....and I'll keep waiting...waiting...waiting...for someone to give a **** about me.

Fine lace bonnets, im not who loves me.
I'm not ruled or ridiculed, I'll never be tamed or caged. you don't know you don't know
I am cold empty beds, on humid nights.
Relieved through poetry.

Sugar tone the after thought,
Get rid what is yours,
Drink the poison,
Guess again.

I dig you out of the cracks and patches of my life, like long hallways in the dark,

Wash the backyard off your face,
And the two am swing sets,
Cheers to the forever long gone sandbox toys,
The treehouse we burned down in 03,
Blue fruit snacks,
When being first in line was a win,
Scraped shins & knees,
Bandsids they could fix anything,
There's no such things as love,
Just lightning bugs & undreamed of,
Worlds....

I keep my money pursed, and my lips locked.

Unfroze hearts are bait on the sharpest hooks. It never thawed anyways.

Soft imprints of carpet on knees,
16 years old only trying to please,
Catastrophic catastrophe,
Blue hues in the soul,
So sad, down trodden youth,
5 hours of painting alone,
In a furnitureless room,
In an empty home,

Sweat across my brow,
Paint down my cheeks,
Like permanent tears,
Rocking back on my feet,
Limbs stretching cramping,

Looking at what I had created,
A blue cube,
Took tuck my emotions into,
Keep it sealed air tight,

A burning rage built up inside of me,
I looked to the cealing and screamed,"God I wish I had a dad to help me!"

I lost my head that day,
My spirit threw the roof,
I gathered gallons of paint cans,
Displayed them in a row,
Blue hues,
For a blue soul,

Elbow deep I dipped my dry hands,
Into the cold wet colored liquid,

Smearing and spreading,
Punching and slapping,
Blue hues,
For a blue soul,
In a blue room,
With no one to hold,

I screamed and wept as each color bled,
From my heart to the wall,
A tidal wave of madness,

It keeps my secret safe and sound,
The murderous crys,
My heart defeated,
The tears that mixed with the buckets of paint,
Decorating the room,
It dominates my life,
My tidal wave of sadness

He said I’m good at giving head & headaches. I’m sorry for complaining about my jaw pains. I’m sorry for the earthquake, that you started in my stomach. The the heart pangs that rattle my rib cage. I am sorry that I’ve accepted this fate. I’m sorry I’m a fat **** that no one will date.

You nod along to all the quotes about depression even though the titles are misleading, like you and me.

She packed the grief neatly, stowed away in a suitcase. Every now and then she’d pick it up with just one hand. Look how strong she is.

I traded in my bad habit for another.
Ciggerates between my lips, instead of forks & food. Either way, it still burns.

I bought a lot of fish today, and put them into one tank. All different colors, and all different kinds. Some mean, some nice, some big some small. But it didn't make me happy. I keep finding things to distract myself from the pain. My mom things I'm bored, and just good at spending money. I'm just Tryna replace ya pops

Something was done, now that I'm driving consistently. I don't have the time to write down the thougts, that come across my mind. I wonder if it's worth it to die, my flame wiped out on this very road. Blood mixed with metal, fibers of well written verses.

He folded my pupils into his compute dialectic eyes. This smoke filled haze, I dug through the filing cabinet to find my iris. Only came up with a few paper clips, & leadless pencils. He hole punched our memories & wrote down the dates across the calendar in red lettered pens, fine script. Of a teacher, who taught me how to love. Stapled my heart to the front page of the packet. I forgot to study.

I fell in love with myself,
After I put you on the far back shelf,
Away from my ears,
I was done with the way you bring me to tears,
I see myself through new eyes,
My eyes

I reverted back to self doubt, to a couple steps before the starting line. The jammed coffee maker a synonym for my suicide. The the open face rejection of a boy telling you, "you're not good enough" . Like a drink without a holder, I am prone to spilling over. And here I am, mopping up my insides.

Apostolos
Prophêtês
Euaggelistês
Poimên
Didaskalos

Intheskinofthebonesonmyheartunderearthedmasterpiecedtogethertakea­swigofthis.

Like blinds & shutters, I shutter blindly.
I'll compare thee to a summers mid day dream. Because yout hot as hell, & a bit off the hook. Out there in space. You've got me hooked.

I don't want to be lonely. But I like being alone.

It'll break cause it's just plastic.
Map out a conquest, a Great Dane on my lap,
Welcome home mat, I burned with a match,
Matt died last spring, April first wasnt a joke,
May 9 is the first time I'll drop acid,
It won't go bad, I hope.

FAITH TOUCHES GOD, BELIEF DANCES AROUND HIM

Poems in pill bottles,
Prescribed to your brothers ex,
Laying in the palm of your hand,
Like an injured bird.

It's the people with the most past, shared.
Mean so much, but have no future with. Yet we can't let go. Please just loosen your grasp. Save heartache

Window panes, melting on my tongue

Bean bag wasted dreams,
Legs on your lap,
Making out with a bottle of jack,
My bestfriend is on crack,
Cause life is wack,
I like the awkward faces you make,
& the way you always lick your lips,
After the first sip.
I like the human species,
And how were convinced you can fight with your eyes closed and still win.
Hawks always fly by me, with sad eyes,
They know something about me, that I'll never know. You said, " man I could sleep on you"
Butterfly kisses on bridges of my nose.
Drunk expierences.

Trees are often more solum than humans,
Their roots deep within the earth,
Yet they leave with the sudden breeze,
Nothing can make them stay,
They bend, but not break,
Are not swayed by the human race,
Trees are my elders,
Mother,
Father,
Brother,
They see the world through different eyes,
Look,
I use to dance for them,
Bare feet on solid ground,
The wind the only instrument,
Me and the Tree's only sound,
We'd have great times,
Until you chopped them down,
Mother,
Father,
Brother,
No where to be found,
You gave me this wasteland full of useless things,
When I walk across the concrete,
I feel their hallow screams,
Buried beneath the pavement a couple feet down,
Your wonderland of useless things,
In this pointless town,
The wind still calls for its lovers,
No longer intertwined at night,
He bounces off buildings ,
Frightening little kids,
There's no such thing as love,
Just axes and fire

There's a fire in the second building,
Of my brain,
I got out of the shower naked,
& didn't feel any shame,
Heels hit pavement,
Quickly,
Sirens blaring loudly,
I sat with my head propped up against,
The frame of my heart,
Listening to it beat,
I didn't have a chance,
As the flame locked up my calves,
Silence shook the halls,
Beds filled with sand,
Hotel for the broken,
It hasn't rained in days...

every day is grief, every night is I’m sorry

You're my favorite six foot eight,
Russian,
Chocolate milk,
Breakfast,
Lunch,
Dinner!

Love ya granddad :)

I cursed every tear that dripped from my blue forsaken eyes, rolled down my cheeks, to rest at my lips, the ones that never got to call you dad.