I like this side of my door, I like the lock on it.
How there's no key. Solid wood, pretty. I like the boxes I can stack against it full of the things I promised myself I'd never open again. The diseased words of people I thought I meant something to. They stick nicely with tape.
He said tonight's the night like any night, to lose it. I leaned my head against the concrete, staring at the castle I built infront of a door that should've been a window. Cause there's on one to play with. I make myself sick to my stomach thinking. I'd rather be puking from drinking. Where's your friends Madison, where's your friends. What were you thinking...

My family is chairs, they squeak an groan,
They splinter with the passing of each day,
Each one of them empty, man made particles from a factory, blind to the fact that your daughter hates you, & the sound of slamming doors & unresolved arguments put her to sleep at night, menu closed. What's the special today, a platter of immature insults with a side of fake kindness. Is this check together or seperate. I'll tip the waiter cause everyone else has left....

Tonight,
I saw a black creature,
Move through the fields,
It's long black hair,
Like strands of fire whipping in the air,
No eyes, no mouth to be seen,
Oh it's just you old friend,
Lucifer beamed,
He sat on the edge of the old burnt tree,
Dead but no one had the heart to cut it down,
His voice tumbled out without a shout but it echoed," today's your day, are you gonna see the pearly gates"
I sniffled a laugh, "you use to call that place home"
He slyly replied, "see we are the same",
As his blackened slender finger stabbed in the direction of my house,
"Choose my darling angel" he belowed his glee noticeable,
The weight in my heart dropped to my hand,
Taurus Judge Revolver looked back at me,
I looked up but he was gone,
The wind picked up,
Singing a sad song,
"**** yourself, **** Yourself, be free"
I lifted the gun to my gaze,
I could feel the cold barrel against my cold ear,
I screamed," Make it stop"
Boom,
All was still,
She was finally as they say,
Free spirited

Laying under the Big Dipper, Cold may air caressing my forehead,  hoodie for a pillow,
This ***** ground a perfect bed, it all started with the stars, Idiots inspired by glowing gas,
A million miles away, like something that beautiful could last, what God drinks of the universe, left me behind.

You were just something I needed to get off my chest...

You **** 99.9% of Bacteria in 15 seconds, im the 0.1% that still gives you nightmares.

Glass rectangle
Burning cave
Core it
Cut it
Cinnamon catastrophe across the counter
Seeds slipping between the seams
You forgot to caulk
The kitchen pregnant with your mistake
Home baked

Id write about rocks trembling, but I can't get past your face..

the earth wrapped me in her green grape leafs, gave me nectarines for eyes, and a lightning bolt for lips,
Implanted smooth river rocks for hips,
Drift wood for thighs, and every seed known to man kind for a smile,
We are made of nature.

Make something of yourself son,
Cause you know daddy ain't gonna.
I know you aren't bitter boy
Wipe them tears from your cheeks
Be the man your poppa shoulda been
Sonny don't cry yourself to sleep
But mom, walk in my shoes

His art it so pretty,
But he touched young Brittany,
He said she wanted it,
I just played his music louder,
I still wear his hoodies,
And I still sing his songs,
I wonder if young Brittany would sing along?
Am I horrible

He remembers me,
And the passion I speak with & bad punctuation and exclamation I write with,
He remembers me,
And the bad times I've had, he tells me goodmorning, no matter the night we had.
He remembers me,
The fine details, of the way his fingers lace with mine.
He remembers me,
Like the tide remembers the sand below,
He Knows me,
When we make love, you wouldn't know there was anyone else in the universe but us.

God, I know you're there.
I feel so alone, Father.

I started writing but I stopped eating

I wanna marry Robin Hood

Solis
Songs for Judah
Takes me to my knees
Spiritually
Instrumentals
Tell a tale
Not soon to be forgotten

he said, “why you always playing”
as he slid his pawn down my chest piece
as he played shoots and ladders up my thigh
as every loaded die came to rest at my lower back
Snake eyes
as he royally flushed my self worth
as he cross the finished line with, “why don’t you ever let me score?”

I believe, God put his view on the world in new borns eyes, and when you stare down into the kaleidoscope wonders, you see the natural beauty of what this all use to be. And when I look down at you Cooper, know I'm standing in the Garden of Eden, with tears rolling down my cheeks, splashing against a phone screen, preventing me from watching you blink. Aunty loves  you Cooper.

I write when I'm asleep, not about counting sheep. But sheets & tangles, & screams. Long live the choked up words in my throat. You mean the world to me...

I want to drive away, leave my heart behind. Buckle my thoughts up in the back seat. And shove all regards of my well being into the trunk. Gas pedal

You draped this mantle round my shivering shoulders, tied it tightly to my neck. Kept the cold out and the anxiety in. You birthed a bouquet of depression, and you fill my vase every chance you get. Kept the cold out and the anxiety in. Bestowed upon me this token of toting your baggage around.

Like father, like son, good thing I'm a girl.

I've got a dozen words in my head,
They sound like poetry,
But a little dead,
Like ghost of words,
I would've said,
But Ive changed.
It's sounds like poetry,
Cause it's both a blessing,
And a curse,
He screamed,
To feel everything so,
Deeply,
It wasn't he,
Was me,
I said that,
Ghost words,
Ghost words,
But baby,
They're beautifuly,
Arranged,
Like the flowers at a new grave,
Cause no body comes back,
No body visits,
These ghost words,
Yeah poetry,
Dead poets society,

You grin with satan, & sleep on the breast of God. For that, I shall never understand.

You eat to forget, & throw up to get rid of the regret. Toss & turn unable to medicate this disease in your brain. Ãłøñë, & in the dark.

The type of whiskey kisser,
You wish you could keep

He asked me what I'm doing,
I told him I was changing.

He said," I'll watch."

But that’s the beauty in loving someone, all those limbs to jump from.

Perhaps, if I gather all the missing up, I could get one great big longing. Maybe that would be better. I've gotten use to this empty bed, your beautiful words packed up. They left my head.

I heard you have a crush on Luna,
That beautiful girl up in the sky,
It makes me jealous that she caught your eyes,
Before I, it sounds childish and transparent.
But I know she has you wrapped around her finger, her unearthly glow. You've fallen into the craters of her Creator & that's okay. I know we look at the same piece of Art, but we don't see the same. She'll always be your lover & I'll never be tame. She's there for you every night. Consistently consistent on proving the point about how truly perfect she is...it's not in my nature, I run & I'll live how i please.

I want to be baptized in the ocean,
And adopt a kid from another world,
I want my house to be home,
I want a gentle hand to hold,
I'll survive.

Jesus is love in His love.
God is love in His discipline.
Holy Spirit is love in His power.

And I will, read your works. Knowing which one was for me, when theres dots between the words & phrases begin to hyperventilate. About kisses & vortexes. Piano keys, and bad impressions. And all I will think about, is all the love we left. Between those paw print sheets...

He swept her life up, and turned off the lights

Your death was like a blemish to the doctors, nothing an expensive cream and five business days couldn’t fix. But to me, your death was a wart that I’ve had since senior year, from the worry and the stress. I rub my thumb over it, to remember, to soothe, to hurt, to heal, to do it all over again. And again and again. You are my cycle, my scheduled grief. I rub my thumb over you and today I don’t feel a thing.

Tattoo back the words of your mouth,
Into your vibrant eyes,
It's true,
Distance does make the heart grow fonder...
Or forgetful,
But I can't forget you,
You carved our destinys into an oak tree,
That's not yet to be knocked down,
Maybe A storm will come,
Tear it's branches away,
Leave it bare & naked,
Out in the open,
Like my love for you,
Me,
I stay quiet,
Though perhaps the violent storm is inside,
That'll come and sweep everyrhing away,
Like the breath of Gods nostrils,
Although I am no God,
The gospel retrieved all the good in me,
Stored it up,
For all to see,
How much you inspire.

Your ukulele,& me
Bestest of friends,
Years full of summers,
Months full of just us,
It lasted too long,
It got too serious,
We found intimacy,
In more than the sheets,
Of music between us,
The beach wasn't spent swimming in the ocean,
But drownding,
In our syrupy essence,
We got into s fight,
Over man ******,
You lost,
I left,
The tears stains,
Your true color bleed,
A bridge between us,
I get simple nods,
A cute compliment here and there,
I miss you,
I miss you,
I miss you,
I'm sorry about your bestfriend and me,
We went a little too far,

I avoid you so superbly,
My thoughts fly by before I get a chance to try,
And write them down,
Scribble notes on back of receipts,
With four dollars left for a bottle of pop,
The air conditioner turns on,
And my soul jumps,
Maybe flys,
So far out,
I lost it,
I don't know what I love,
I thought it was you,
Sweet sweet words,
That were my own,
Created a Cacoon,
But now I run,
I don't stop to pace,
Back and forth,
Hello Poetry.

I pick things up, to hurt myself. Like knifes & alcoholic genes. Today, it was a red bell, with your little name. Scribbled across the front. I killed myself. Myself. Myself. Myself. Myself

The biggest vortex of twisted emotions, lie between an oxymoron and bad news. Good grief

I can never find peace.

I scrubbed and scrubbed until my pores became smooth, until my flesh burned with regret. Until I felt my pores become shallow. And the oil ran off like an anointing, a closed flask. Waiting for grace to keep my heart at bay. Yet I'm still dying three days later. Wrapped in the same linen I was buried in. Like an anointing, you pressed your hand to my head. Whispered fire. Now I'm gone.

Iced coffee & five hour drive in the rain,
To an empty beach,
Is where I want to be,
Lord help me now

Aware enough to cheer the game on,
As they strike out,
Your son sits behind you,
Keys clicking,
To fill the void of a good foot ball throw,
Hallow hello hell,
Fatherless fathers fell.
To sleep because the drugs,
Are easier than the kids,
He made.

You rub salt on my mosquito bites
Pepper in my paper cuts
Thank you for the love.

Never confuse being friendly with flirting, words often mean nothing. Other then a simple phrase to end the conversation. Do not get wound up in emotions. Periods, commas and exclamation points exaggerated. Baby, you're just another empty paragraph to keep him busy...

Rag doll skeletons, empty broom closet
Gray shaded face, pie chart masterpiece

The chemo's got her this time,
Blood tests and radiation.

Taking my bestfriend

You can render me speechless,
But never wordless,
There was always lust behind your tongue,
I've never been kissed be a true lover,
I guess I'm not stable, I guess I'm not stable,

Fade out scene two
Enter beautiful boy

He said, do you know girl you'd be gorgeous,if.
You'd stop and look in the mirror, you've gained ten pounds since the last time I've seen you, your smile is so loud it hurts, baby girl please shut up, all you do is talk but your words are dust,  those shoes you wear, so many holes, when it rains your feet are like the sea, is that the necklace we found on the beach around your neck? Tackey aren't you,

Zoom out scene three,
Bird eye view of boy,

He screamed are you crazy girl why did you have to know me? If you wouldn't have, you be alive right now hopefully. He laughed through his tears, the mockery and the jeers, nothing would bring his girl back. He whispered I'll use your head stone as a pillow, this grave, a bed for two.

I hope we don't end up lustful, & not content...

A king size bed is like a pillow to you,
My favorite beast,
My bestfriend,