uneven, steps,
Smack against the unpaved road way,
Leaving the screaming house,
On that empty hill behind,
I sit down beside the dead deer,
We have so much incommon,
No family or friends,
We were left for dead,
We'll never open our eyes again and see the world,
As beautiful,
My finger tips carress the roughly fine fur against his jaw,
My lips meet his forehead,
A gentle goodnight kiss,
Dandelions & Black-eyed Susans,
I wrap and tangle evenly,
Madly, through his antlers,
My cheeks still flush with the escape,
My eye still bruised,
Wasn't a quick enough get away,
My emotions vast and empty,
Like this graveyard of a fields,
My hands grab the last flower,
Plucking it from the earth,
From its home,
No one was there to speak up for it,
Just like me,
I fell in love with nature,
I realized how cruel it really can be,
Just like them,
Just like me,
Just like you,

I plaster memories over faces,
Distant places in the present,
I dominate the room with the constant regrets,
Of yesterday 1978,
I pull the liquid thoughts,
Of what I can & cannot do,
Overlap it weighing,
Out the good & the good,
Don't tell me who I am,
You've got no right to be dating,
I'm your mother you'll do as I say,
Paper rain; origami,
Mailing needs to go to the vet today,
Today,
I'll have to dig her up out of her grave,
Today,
Tomorrow,
Yesterday,
Here & now,
I plaster faces over memories,
Room full of strangers could be enemies,
Get out of my house,
Get the hell away from me,
Daughter, brother, uncle,
Who are you,
It's hard being 20 when you're 93...

Sleeping soberly awake, drunkenly aware of the state I’m napping in.

Do I have bad thoughts, or do the bad thoughts have me?

How do you decide, which song will be the last you'll ever hear. Sitting up, lying down, which position is your favorite? 1:09am are you really ready to die? Stomach sick & turning. Not like the raging thoughts in your head. Insert bullet here, now all the memories are dead.

It's not like I want to hold your hand,
Or walk to the park,
Watch you undress in the dark,
Talk sweetly.

Men need to be pushed, from the very beginning they were pushed into this world by women, and they will be pushed around by women until they are pushed out by a woman just another pointless contraction in the universe.

I'm waiting for the messages to be sent back, rejected. My hair unkept, heart wrecked. Smothered in the spilt coffee, because the nerves are bad again. Eating something so gross, you have to throw everything back up. I can't watch tv, or start a new series of books, I tell my brain im not ready for that commitment. So I'll sit, as cars pass by. I met an old lady, who saw the Grand Canyon seven times. My mom screamed," I'm losing my mind" I shut the door & walked away. There's no adventure, left inside. Just a catacomb of lost secerets, I'll die & die each day. But smile with a unearthly sernity. I like listening to people's wacked out theories about the universe. It's like doing **** on acid, while drinking ***** on the highway. Going 78. Even though you're only 19. This is a one way street, and baby im speeding.

Making love is like sky diving for the first time with someone you love.

Metaphorically I'm a *****.

Prongs on a fork,

I’ve tripped over every accessible hallway, trying to stop myself from falling in love with you.

Only a face a mother could:
Hate

I complained I'm hungry,
I'm hungry,
Stomach involunteerly crying out,
I said I'm hungry,
He said, how
He looked me up and down,
It's impossible,
The way you eat pre dinner,
Then dinner,
Then snack, then after snack,
You're not hungry,
The tears didn't have a chance to fall,
I was out of the house,
Lost in this hell we call life.

If I threw up, would you judge me from the contents of my stomach. Or would you lend a helping hand?

Would you tenderly strip the filthy clothes from my back, or judge me for the lack there of?

Had I broken down and scored hate deep into my flesh, would you bandage all the blood, or judge me for the healed ones?

Help me, help you, help me, help you, help me....help you

I'm addicted to your lips. Yet, we've never kissed..

We died as I passed him the cancer stick, he glanced past his seat to my hand where i held it. Carassed between my fingers. He looked death straight on before we even knew we were dying.

What is it
That noise you make
That soft hum so distinct
So full of distain
Disgust

Prayer

Yeah, I'll this cookie, maybe two more. ***** off dude

My pink raincoat,
Reminds me of a shield,
From the world,

doux rire ,
derrière bouche basse,
ayant déjà été dit de se taire ,
depuis trop longtemps ,
le rire est la médecine,
pour les âmes brisées,
theres quelque chose de beau dans la façon dont vous jetez votre tête en arrière,
oubliant la clavicule cassée ,
et le cœur déchiré en trois,
je oublie trop ,
simplement vous regarder ,
me regarder .

The scales, black and silver. Hidden under bathroom sinks, coaxed out by desperation and longing for change. It breathes cold fire and hums beneath my nervous finger tips. Protecting its treasure, my self confidence. I ride on its back, with shakey legs, covering my tear stained face afraid of heights and steep numbers.

I let it drag its deep claws into my wrists, down my thighs. Letting is squeeze the word ugly from my lips.

I've burnt all ten fingers, trying to get your thoughts out of the toaster. You say you like boys, but you also enjoy girls. I'm so confused with myself. I love you, more than the light that goes off right before you close the fridge. And that half empty patch of grass we use to sit & talk for hours. We're not bestfriends anymore, I can tell by the way you shyly smile. Or the way you remeber me naked but don't say a thing.
I wish I could kiss all the insincere, goodnights off your lips.

I can't stand you,
Like drift wood afloat in the ocean,
Forever drowning,
Never good enough,
Getting beat until I'm "perfect"
You say it's respect,
But you've got none

Double ***** on the rocks,
Double the ***** hold the rocks.

I wish I could **** my sadness in through my eyelids.

Made spring feel like summer, you left before summer started. Hurt some, but I'll be okay. I write my best poetry half awake. No thanks, to you.

Melody, carpEt rug symphony,
Awake under water,
Fall back to sleep.

Honey suckle ***,
Beneath the cherry tree,
They say it's real,
Loves not a fantasy,

Foreplay with tbe clouds,
Between my legs,
The birds flee,
The forest filled with moans,

Hold your breath,
Making love beneath the sea,
Steal your breath,
Before the next wave.

Rapture capture, you don't understand how my body responds to meds. How handfuls have no affect. Please understand I have no regret, for all the empty pill bottles under my bed. Mom

I asked a man for a ciggerate, he pulled the pack out of his back pocket. Handed me one, like it was a loaded gun. Like I was going to laugh and make fun. Turn on him quick & run. I stood there in the dark breeze humming Bob Dylan. He turned to me and said, " kid I see you with a gun to your head, always hiding in bathrooms like that's your heaven instead" he layed out the floor plans on how life worked. Graphs and data of the sorts. No fancy words, no past life inquiry. Not a man but an eagle. He said he still sees me with a gun in my hand as he flew away to some unreachable tree top. The lights faded out, realizing how alone you are, with a gun to your head, on the bathroom floor trying to make it to heaven instead, you dip your toes in the lake of fire. It's warm, I could stay a while.

I got drunk with a kiosk, we made beautiful music. With styrofoam cups & plastic utensils.
We became one, over salt & sugar packs.

Hum drum of hookups, silique symphony. A long line of history, bad timing and misery. One night stands and two night bands traveling along my hip bones. If you play me right you just might get an encore.

***; is just a word mispronounced on foreign tongues. Either way, it's beautiful.

Your łïpš pour chocolate to mine,
And when you're on top,
There's nothing like the world below,
I crane my neck to see the stars in your eyes.

D&K
Would be my writer’s name
Published on the top shelf
Unreachable
Unreadable

Do this & that,
Get here with what,

I don’t often run into my collar bones
My hands are too busy tugging on the too tight knit shirt
Today I didn’t have to fight the stitching off
It hugged my knees loosely
Enough room for you, me and all the hungry ghosts between us
I don’t often run into my collar bones
Today you could drink from them

I want what the Universe wants;

When push comes to shove, I miss you so ******* much...

Gather up the bags under your eyes,
Turn off the lights in your heart,
Lock up your soul,
Keep walking,
Maybe take a taxi away from your thoughts.

I find comfort in the lint on my favorite hoodie,
It's been worn & washed too many times,
The *** hole riding the yellow line,
On the back road by my house,
Reminds me of you,
The way tick tacs,
Taste remind me of your breath,
You hated them, I shoved my brain in the oven,
It got so baked, & we laughed, my pen knows the pages like I know your hips, & face. And God ****** I want to draw words across your body in languages no one will ever speak, with my finger tips. But all you say is Hmm, and why. Starting to sound like my tooth brush after a while. I'll clean my teeth, & try to force a smile. I broke the zipper off my hoodie & they filled in the hole.

You stole the word,"Nuzzle" from my vocabulary. It's a boundary I will not cross,
A lime light loss I cannot deal with. You're a warm cup of coffee beneath my finger tips, a little sweet; a little bitter. A Sunday night, you said goodbye. And never woke up in the morning.

Dearest Darling, I am sorry for my wrong doings. You will make it, after all.

The element of suprise is delved into the path of how tiles are placed. I sink my toes into your love, just one more dip.

Grief doesn’t give us a break,
It slams doors closed on fingers,
Turns lights off on steep staircases,
Leaves us alone with our thoughts,
Brain dead.

My alarm went over at 8:00am
I gave it the ******* & rolled over.
You weren't there.

Cigarette, marionette, put it between my lips and play pretend. Pretend to call me, or to care whether or not I got home safe tonight. Too many words so TIGHT between those lips, wet enough to lubricate every lie that drips like honey onto my ****.


Make me feel real tonight baby.

it’s funny how my appetite is gone, how my side aches, and still I am the main character for every fat joke in the book.

I’m sorry that I couldn’t find happiness, even in the nooks and crannies of life.