I'm not exotic,
Nor well refined,

And I love you, and I'm sorry. Thank you for letting me be.

There's a whale in the lake, you can see him from the interstate. His name is Darby, he likes mid afternoon picnics, and juice boxes. I swam with Darby once, he laughed at my two feet. I haven't seen him since.

I hope he gives you the future he promised me in pink

Barely lifting your sad caliused feet,
Off the polished marble floors,
Leaning into the glass windows,
Like it was your only support,
I watched as you rubbed away your
        R
            E
               F
                  E
                     C
                         T
                            I
                              O
                                  N
Trying to smear away any remains,
Of what use to be,
I wanted to scream the view is almost,
As beautiful as you,
Just look a little harder darling,
I know all you can hear is her constant
SCREAMING
I know that you want to live,
You're a torch in this abyss,
But you're fading,
I can see you ripping band aids off all your problems,
Letting the sorrow come pouring out,
I can see you crying on the bathroom floor,
Dear sad ghost, why'd you put your heart on a shelf.

I’m going to love the hate out of you, it’ll pool at your feet and we will kick it away.

You're not thinking what I think you're thinking are you now?

You know your words,
They woo me,

I laid shirtless on the bed for hours, there was no form of release. I traced the veins on my arms, wondering if they carried a disease.
To my heart, that would drive you away so soon. They say loves a fragile thing, it fades out so quickly. Who's to say what love is & what's not. You were the lamp shade to my nightlight, keeping it out of my eyes. So I could sleep at night. I feel my heart being dragged back into the undertow of this ocean I call home.

I placed the cuts between your fingers,
Intricately,
Your mind like patch work,
Flipping the switch on & off,
Doesn't save a life,
There's not enough oxygen in the world,
But please go on about equality,
Hold the hand of a dying child,
Cause all he wanted in life was to not be,
hungry,
I got the cat out of my tool box,
I wiped window pains with ciggerates,
So we'd all be a happy family.

How do I tell you I want to die, without handing you the gun?

when your screams were loud enough to shake my happiness off the walls,
when your fist raised more than the hairs on my neck,
when your eyes became empty as the walls that you shook, when your hands were so rough I wondered if they had ever held me at all,
when my room was involuted, when my soul shrunk back in on itself, I moved on

he’ll hold my hand like the half dollar in his back pocket, worth something.
he’ll look at me like waking up on the wrong side of the bed isn’t an option, hazel eyes.
he’ll kiss these lips like an executive decision, passionately.
he’ll make love to this body like *** is the only thing between the lines, read them.
he’ll marry this life like I’m the only one in it, I do.

Subtle sipper of love, use the Big Dipper
To ladle it out, into the trash can you drink of,
Toilet paper stacked against the mattress,
In your stomach, they scream he'll get sick,
Without shoes on, but he doesn't have a heart,
To fail, to stop its beating, just a hallow cave,
Where memories go to die, I watched him,
Shrug & grin, satisfied with solitude,
I'm ready for a tire swing lullaby,
No jokes or games, every,
Thing, out in the open,
He clambered down my words,
And sat in the mulch to die.

I wonder if you ever ******* knew what was in that hole, that hole. That great divide in time & space. The ghostly masterpiece of your disappearance. If you've fallen in, did you die? Everybody knows your name, it was our secret place. A forged identity, a solitude of symphony's. All you ever knew though, was ozones. I'm starting to wonder if you became one. I sit outside the looking glass.

THIS.  IS.  LOVE.  

yell it until the vein on the side of your temple pulsates, pulsates in my 21 year old mind

yell it until the bruises are gifts

yell it until the anxiety is your inspiration

And please keep telling me all the things you hate about yourself, so I can learn to hate them about me too.

Loves a fragile thing he said
You're my bestfriend she said
Months go by,
Seasons pass,
I devote my life to you,
All you want is my ***,
You called me after each class,
Telling me how much you loved me,
How you couldn't wait till you got home,
Home,
You said I was your home,
Your only place to go,
The girl of his dreams,
Beyond of beauty queen,
I held onto those words,
Hoping the world has changed,
Praying this man wouldn't play that game,
You started drinking more often than not,
Got high with friends,
Then you forgot,
Forgot about me, myself and I,
That a whole world exsisted out of reach in your intoxicated form,
I forgave & and forgived for months,
We'd fight after you'd leave the party,
Your hands finding my lower back,
Your thumbs pressing into my hips,
The stain of alcohol on your breath,
You'd lean your forehead into mine,
Whispering darling everything's gonna be fine,
I believed,
Your sister said she loved me,
You transferred to a school in New York,
My lover the archeologist,
Spending his days digging up old dead stuff,
But he never found our love on his escapades,
We video chatted everyday,
I didn't have the money to drive that far,
Your parents had your car,
The distance started growing,
More than the miles between us,
The fire we had now I dull roar,
You supriesed me at the movies,
But all you did was bring hell,
All I wanted was a hand to hold,
A chest to lay on,
All you wanted was a breast to *****,
And a hand to feel me up with,
Your hand slithered its serpenty hand,
Down my floral shirt,
Found its way to my ******,
Making it hurt,
I thought I wanted this,
I THOUGHT I WANTED THIS,
My heart began to race,
As your hand found the lace,
Hugging my hips,
I excused myself to the bathroom,
I haven't seen you since,
I thought I wanted this sexually atmosphere,
I thought this was the love all girls wanted,
*** is lovely,
When your not a young naive stupid little girl

Pills in plastic, I wanna do acid.*
       Pancakes with lattes in the morning
                Long legged lighthouse

                I don't have a lighter
              You said dont worry
             Your mouth found mine
             Among the kitchen sink
                 Well thought out
                Like buttered toast
                 Everything on fire
             I just need a dose of you.

Self portraits & honesty are my favorite,
I fall in love with them everyday,
To see a person as they see themselves,
Crafted by their own hands,
Then add honesty,
Do they really see themselves with that high a cheekbone,
That crooked a smile?
Always a mystery no matter how much honesty,
I fell in love at an Art Gallerie,
No one told me not to

fibers in the carpet, in between your toes
tickle the soles of your feet all the way to my room

It's that gut wrenching feeling,
Knowing where that blade is,
Three quarter inches from the base,
Of the inside of a closest,
That held so many secrets,
Because my friends cut off their ears,
So they never had to listen,
Listen to the nothingness,
The nothing of my life,
Cause that's where I'm headed,
To the base board three quater inches up,
I'll build a home and live there,
In my scarlet silken sheets,
Make love to bandages and salve,
Share lunch with long sleeve tees,
And cups of disgusting tea with pants,
You did this to yourself,
Your own personal hell,
Addicted to the addict of your own self,
I want to be reborn.

Teeth ache, head ache. Quick silver moon take. Vegan virgins verify your vast minds. Suit & tie lives. On that next level style, knock you down of few bars. Next door, they scream & cuss & kick & yell. We live in the middle of no where, no neighbors in sight. Close my eyes, & take a deep breath...

You're the person, who never refills the toilet paper, on every single floor...

I'm not cut out for this life of production,
A baby calf is taken from his mommy,
Seconds after birth,
Guiding his face,
Teaching him the art of suction,
Nothing's real,
Platex,

You judge the girl,
With fake *****,
But make fun of the ones that have none,
And you wonder why,
There's platex in the brains of the younger generation,
Pleasing people is the prize,
You don't know how to love yourself,
But you so whole heartedly,
Wish you could melt the platex,
That hold together the lies.

If I let you down easy, would it be okay. That I've reserved my love for another, but maybe some other day.

Faith is a misty breeze.
The ship travels like a cold captain.
Why does the reef die?

Waking up weak, too weak to open a box, everybody's screaming, tantalizingly freaking, the world goes black, you end up on your back, in the emergency room, again.

I hope she's the wonder to all your worlds, but not too much like I was.

He says my eyes are hellos,
The way my smile beckons him,
He repeats the word beautiful three times,
As if it wasn't enough the first time,
I smirk softly, hoping he knows I only have,
Good intent,


Compliments don't take me anywhere,
Then to wishing I was in his arms,
Not yours,
Flattery doesn't work on a gal like me,
Poetry does, Poetry Does

the he didn't tell the girl, that he had loved her until chapter seven.* and by that time, the character was far too dead to remember
   They'll blame it on wicked witches, but sometimes it's just boys with bad timing that's the curse.

Don't

We all have thoughts that linger, drift in and out of thoughtfulness. Behind and in front of every atom that pieced together our brain. Incomplete jigsaw, rotating merry go round. Fill in the missing puzzle pieces. You

Left handed, back flipping, cat having, black haired, brown eyed boys

We all have thoughts that linger, drift in and out of thoughtfulness. Behind and in front of every atom that pieced together our brain. Incomplete jigsaw, rotating merry go round. Fill in the missing puzzle pieces. Me

Left handed, double jointed, dog having, blond haired, blue eyed girls

His hands found my waist like a thirsty corset, haven't heard from him since.

20 pounds less than last month, I guess things do work out

Unless you're diabetic

You wanted a butterfly
But only peeped in
On a mere caterpillar
Unsure on the process
  Of using wings
And when she did
You gazed upon her lovingly
Your butterfly lips ******* on her skin like mandarin oranges
Next spring you'll go away
To find another butterfly
In her cocoon is where she will **stay

she said she can't count on her fingers,
Cause she doesn't have none,
My music teacher fed them to the alligator,
The second note was off key,
She looked at me & for once I saw nothing,
Empty reflection, of the reflectation of nothing,

Hypnosis,
I drunkely post this,
You made love to a can of bud lite,
Too cool too cool,
Burnt ash on matts deck,
One hell of a night,
You carried me home.

It's so easy, to remain dead inside, while half the nation fakes a smile.

I puke on pillows, flip them to the good side and get a good nights rest.

I only drink water,
From the good side of the sink,
Reprimand your love,
Fill this empty space,
Fair maiden,
With braided hair,
She sleeps in the forest,
& the valleys bellow,
Walks across your land,
Bare feet in the snow,
She drives you wild...

Frame gaps

Curse words, are just cuss words. With a little more oomf behind them

Gilden, heavy blend, 400. Bleached towls, burnt noses. Bar code, sole shoes. Makes me feel the Blues. ***** mug, cute mutt.

Id imagine death to be as subtle, as stepping onto a stair, that isn't there. A few brief moments of nothing but shaking terror. Calamity coming over my body, as it finds the even flooring. It's still dark but at least I'm not falling.

I keep a drug addict, in the attic, in case I ever get bored. He tells me sweet story's, of all his pending glorys, we connect the dots with the track marks going up his arms. Ive since moved away, I wonder if he stayed. Sits in the dusty boxes, where we use to play.

I fear men in suits, with fresh apples for heads. Black and white profiles, bayside views. Falling in love when life is just one big satire. God's ink pen is running out, just like you...

Hey,  my moms having the baby today

If I die before I wake, all of me is yours to take.