If you really knew me,
You'd know I crave to go home,
The Dead Sea calls my name everynight,
My toes sunk into it's heaing waters,
You'd know I drink a Mocha Coconut frappe every other day, with one Reese cup,
So I don't lose my soul,
I've read Iron Fey for a record of 40 times not counting the first time,
Tom Petty is my spirit animal
I'm never in one place,
And I'll never stay,
You can't have me

You keep his last name, a trophy.
Like he'll notice the five letters behind your first name. It doesn't make a difference, he was born without a conscience.  I wish I could seperate the 24 genes that make up half my body, keep them. Keep your last name. Keep your life, I was always too much of a responsibility. Your excuses like a water fall.

the acoustics in this shower mmmm,
It echoes.
The reflection of your body behind mine,
In this tile cracked..

I craved leaving like the sea begged the shore to come to bed.
I craved not moving a muscle like exhaustion rattled my bones.
For once in my life I was content in the standstill.

Wish me away, if you'd please.
Id fall and crumble,
Like the leafs under your feet,

You say wow, like its goodbye
Something about harps,
You whisper,
I can't get you out of my mind,

Inner locking our fingers,
The words,
It's easy if you tried,
Dance across my lips

It's like dating a ghost.

Bowls

As you jump back from me disgustedly,
My words can only bring empty soliloquy,
Stapled jaw lines, & open mouths,
Mumbling I'm sorry, through cracked lips,
You wonder why I sleep with my bedroom door locked,
Don't cry over split blood on tile floors,
The clean up is easy.

Sand between my toes, won the lotto.
Became empty between the ***** & the lies,
Not technically a fault of mine,
Sublime on the radio,
Nationaly not included,
Broad cast the athem of lost kids on crack,
Addicts don't do addition too much thinking,
I eneded up at a farm,
Walking with you,
2am,
Told my mom I was home hours ago,
I wanted go break the breaks,
Drive into the lake,
I feel no mutual attraction,
It's lacking on my end,
If eternity turned her light out...I might just sleep.

I truly wish you the best,
Aka
Goodbye

I like the beat, the shoe makes on the steps,
Skipping three,
Flying down flights,
Down down down,
Who is a man, that lays his hand on his lover,
& calls it tough love.
Up up up,
I like the beat, shoeless feet make on concrete,
Cold or hot,
Naturally hurts, but it feels good,
I hate beatings,

God has shaken into me, a new foundation,
Negativity, you may weep at my side,
But you can no longer touch me,
Tear me to pieces,
But my soul is clean,
I haven't known this love

I remember the first
Time, I had ever heard the word,
Loath.
6th grade Literture class.
A future started inside me,
One of adventures, & poetry.

Hospital haze,
sick previously for a couple days,
6am bed ridden,
Ma'am you're dying,
Apostrophe re,
The pain in your chest,
Sinking feeling in your stomach,
It's not in your head, not in your head.

There's another she, waiting for me, to ***** up, another poet with all the "knowets" I'll never have, it'll callborate in my mind, rewind, rewind. To when I thought I was perfect, worth it. Playing games with a fairy tale life.

The girl with volcano eyes,
And a lions mane,
Never quite fit in,
I guess she's to blame,
Because she's got freckles on her nose,
A few broken toes,
On her left foot of course,
And she doesn't sit straight enough,
She's smiling a lot,
But never feels it,
So they say she's insincere,
But she carries twice her weight in responsibility,
For you,
A stranger,
She's got short legs,
A long curvy torso,
That bleeds into wide hips,
She has larger calves,
And tiny ankles,
Fat fingers,
And small hands,
Perfect ears,
But too large a nose,
They say her cheek bones are so high,
Her bottom lip too plump,
But her personality,
Extrodinary

I'm waiting for you to come back, I can't picture anything but your face drowning. As I walk along the waves that took your last breath. I cry, by the side of the river banked lapping liquid. Crystal clear clarity, you're dead & my bestfriend will be burried. Bloodless, gutless. Used for research. Perhaps. Megan hasn't stopped crying, but she didn't love you like I do. Did. I hate canoes.

Slowly sinking thinking over bearing this heartached contraption masking every detail of pain he said I hope your heart rots I just kept on swinging bringing back memories of me and you long talks and lyrics were the glue between us two were not kids though no not anymore i like the ocean it's beautiful but violent like me he use to say that too but that ship has sailed I think I sunk it floating to the bottom of the sea this house of short phrases and empty promises use to be a home for you and me but you forgot what friendship was in the midst of intimacy being edgy ***** red carpet bleeds honesty so bold it can't hold any other color than its own I stared at it for a while your mom turned and screamed I haven't seen you in a while I thought she was talking about you but I think she meant me although no one knows you anymore she pulled me into her arms like I was leaving God I wish id left Right isn't anything you ever comprehended you tried to mend my broken soul by pulling it a part and patching it up with the bad in you it's funny though I still see your eyes and I still lose my breath my world stops but yours ended im still in love with you you won't fade away I promise at least not from my mind

Quick sand, castle candles hold on to fragile paragraphs I forgot how to write. But I think writing forgot about me. And I burned all my fingers thinking about the pen pressed against my palm. The weird **** youre into. The glamour that rested on my hips. The tattoo under my left ***. You made it all worth it.

In some types of art, your form could be completely  wrong

God did me *****,
When he put you there & me here,
And 13,000 miles between.

I miss your collar bones, and the kisses I gave them as promises.

In the shower lullingly, he's outside the bathroom with a belt. I don't want to get out.
Slugs & spiders tail.

I use to sit ontop the roof, & dare myself to jump, I never jumped, one time I fell.

I didn't understand the feeling, of crumbling bones until I decayed at the sound of your voice calling her name. At the foot of the stairs, all I could bear. Was the quiet reminder, * I've seen you naked*. So many times, I blushed & looked away. No one was there, but the past ghost of what were. Stood still between the ten feet, gaping hole. Of I told you so. 8 years of love, wrapped up tucked to bed. I still remember the feeling of your hands on my łïpš, brushing past my hips. To clip away the wings, I grew. Without you, with you. Suddenly it's okay to cry, caters to

I miss, when you use to read everything I wrote. Even though I was a ****** poet. You traced each lined phrase with those hazel eyes, & told me each was your favorite & took your breath away. Spent my nights on fire, and my days off the hook. Running with you. Into a future I hoped was possible. But I haven't seen you in three months. Summer fun I guess, you left me with a goodnight. So I'll leave you with have a goodmorning. But im not leaving. You're silver dollars & pockets full of lose change. That Id like to gather up & cash it in for a forever with you. I want to wake up with you.

She said, I'm sure he molested his daughter. I slept on the couch, and heard all the laughter. Cried as his hand slipped down my shirt. She said, I'm sure he protected his daughter. Sitting in therapy turning pages, praying for paper cuts. She said, I'm sure he couldn't save his daughter.

I wrote my stupid freaking bio, with you sprawled across my lap. I don't have the heart to change it. Because **** it, I don't know who I am without it. I still have your blue ribbon, & I still cry almost every single night. I never meant to not be enough. The scales are so uneven, I'm losing it again...

It was simple, so it was right.

I can't understand, why should would even want a man. But she don't leave and she won't anytime soon..

It's crazy, how no one understands death,
But the way those white tulips lean up,
Reaching,
To the sun,
Away from the ceider casket,
That contrast is beautiful,
And death makes sense

I formed an amazing spoken word, in my head. In check out today.

I talk to God about you lately, more often then not. He's a jealous father, with overprotective ways.

I could fight you, I could fight you. If I wanted to, if I wanted to.  Yet you have your hand gripping me tight, and we won't fight, fight, fight. The light light light, keeps me tangled in your sight sight sight. Sigh, and focus.

I feel like I can’t be loved with the lights on

Jesus, you haven't sent a messiah through messages in ages.

IM SICK AND TIRED OF THINKING OF YOU FATHER ITS 1:52 AM ON 2015 ANOTHER YEAR OF SELFHATRED AND LONGING FOR SOMEONE WHO WILL NEVER BE THERE FOR ME I HATE FATHERS DAY AND I HATE FATHERS AND I HATE PEOPLE WHO JUST LET YOU DOWN IM TIRED OF THROWING MYSELF INTO A RAGING FIRE OF MY THOUGHTS EVERYNIGHT KNOWING THAT ILL BE BURNED AND THE SCARRS THEY WONT FADE AWAY BECAUSE FATHER THESE ARE MORE THAN JUST WORDS THIS IS A PROMISE THAT THE DAY I HEAR YOURE DEAD I WONT CRY I WONT FEEL ANYTHING JUST LIKE YOU FATHER I WANT TO DROWND MYSELF IN ***** AND ALCHOL AND FORGET WHAT BREATHING IS BUT I KNOW WHAT DRINKING DOES IT MESSES WITH YOUR MIND AND YOU SLIP UP AND YOU CREATE THIS LIVING FORM OF LIFE THAT WAS JUST AN ACCIDENT JUST AN ACCIDENT I DONT EVER WANT TO BE YOU BUT IF IM NOT WHO AM I...NO ONE BECAUSE WHEN GOD CREATED HUMANS AND HE GAVE THEM THIS WONDERFUL GIFT OF INTIMACY HE FORGOT THAT MEN ARE SO NUMB TO EVERYTHING THAT INTIMACY IS AS IMPORTANT AS THE BEER CAP CLATTERING TO THE FLOOR TO JOIN THE OTHERS AT YOUR FEET AND THATS WHERE YOULL FIND ME FATHER ALONG WITH THE REST YOULL NEVER KNOW YOULL NEVER KNOW

"You're a female dog" he said.
With a smirk, "woof" she said.

I watch my insecurities stack up,
Like the clothes on my chair,
They overflow,
Wrinkle.


And I continue to do nothing about it

I want your lips to learn every inch of me, and your fingertips to follow suit..

I'll marry this piece of land, build a glass house way up in the sky. Let the Rays fly through the roof, straight to you. I'll never hurt you, cut you down to size. Let you wrap around my glass walls, never getting inside. Keep everything on stilts, your leathery weathery fingers will never reach mine. & I'm sorry for that.

When you get the news you may be dying, chocolate doesn’t taste any sweeter.

You're just a pain that I refuse. It hurts real bad, but I wouldn't know I burried it deep, in last winters snow...

I think too much, & tread to quietly on stairs that should be stomped up.

I want friends who answer, hell I want friends. I've go friends, but most of them are too high to read the missed call messages. Or maybe they read it but didn't reply. Cause when I said I needed you I meant it, that my life ca lapsing in on itself was killing me. Silence. But please God forbid I tune out your daily gossip. Words. Sometimes I wish I didn't have anybody, that way no one could let me down.

I focused on the sound of exhaust as he pushed it down my throat, clenched my fist as my eyes watered to the feeling of gravel on my knees. He said he had a goodnight.

The souls rock hard, while heart rots underneath.

Did you become an alcoholic because of a girl or because of the world?
Whatever your answer is, same.

She said, I'll never love a man...
Who ridicules my weight,
I said then don't,
Who bothers me about my posture,
Being straight...scoliosis,
I said then don't,
Who says I can't wear this or that,
I said then don't,
Who questions my morales & beliefs,
I said then don't,
Who makes fun of the things,
That bring me relief,
I said then don't,
Who wants to have *** after the first date,
I said then don't,
She said, I'll never love a man...
I said then don't.

And I hate the way you,
Lick your finger tips,
Before you turn a page,
I hate the way it draws me in,
The way I notice it,
Like that was suppose to help,
Just turn the page,

trampoline youth in revolt, got kicked off cause I'm too old. Tattle tail toddlers thought you were twenty. Forgot you grew up to be a Scrooge. I'll sit under this deck, rewrite old poems to a sutle headache that never goes away. You are my favorite pain.