Bay
there is a light
streak in you
is it a scar?
Does it hurt?
It looks as though
something moved through you
or under you
leaving
such a stark reminder
that refuses to move with your currents
or maybe there's just
something missing?

Bay
I've always liked that
furry trim of yours
the one made of wood
it seems to be
leaning in expectantly
watching your movements
with a loving wonder
I hear it traps bad things init
and holds you on course
A retainer of twisted old spires

I see you there
through a fold in the treelike
I learned today
that you are stationary
yet I see you there
slowly creeping
here

The door has shut
but I have only realized
the solid wood in my face
not that I'm looking
through the cold glass
(how can it be so cold
when you were so warm
to the touch?)
at your light on the
inside

Cut off
everything I had learned
my new enjoyments
and being
held at arm's length
uncertain in distance's grasp


Cut off
everyone I had met
my new friends
and being
held at arm's length
uncertain in distance's grasp


Cut off
Everything that I had become
my new identity
and being
held at arm's length
uncertain in distance's grasp


Cut off
I am unsure
if I will get myself back
upon my return
or if I will even return at all
I am so separate
I question what was even real

My cries for attention
so loud
and tear filled
Ring in the ears
of only the willfully deaf

Graffiti is a beautiful thing
A splash of the soul
in an unlikely place
character and development
hardship and victory
every detail recorded
in ink
where mother big brother father of all
says should be bare
In the cover of my own
independence
I shadow in and shade
my very ****** skin
until I am a ****** no more
and I can see myself inside out
memorialized in permanence
that bespeaks adulthood
a grown up
graffiti

Poor you
all alone in a corner
Crowded in
by the dull furniture
say hello to me
I want to get to know
your lines and colors
even if they're all straight and gray
your movements and
personalities
no matter how still
Don't leave me without saying anything
you're so alone
just like me
and I'm sorry
If I ever gave up on you

The bird's company
is getting
lonelier
as the flock grows
All I hear around me
ever
a cacophony of
chirps
whistles
squawks
an endless song
of open inclusivity
I open my lion's maw
and release a sad bellow
the birds stop
and scream a unified friend
then it's back to the beginning
verse and verse again
and I'm all on my own
with a lonely view

All these pages between us
how will I possibly
express my love
that is not the love
You have?

That's not
foundation
under my nails
it's
failure
I have
failure
on my hands
But even worse
I have it
deliberately spread
all
over
my
face

Take my cold hands
in yours
one more time
I need your
effortless opposite warmth

Here's another
whiny poem
where I lyrically
complain
about
how he doesn't pay
any attention to me
even though I know full well
that he isn't
obligated to

A plane
A pane
so much and so little
separate the two
he and she
they and them
it's all a mirror
of many facets
each sees the other
and themselves
together yet apart
if they could but reach forward
touch skin to skin
glass on nails
so they'd see
their bent reality
unfold
in one whole

Nothing shatters
more easily
or
more painfully
than the
tender white hopes
of an unloved girl

Hey
you're new
and I like your face
and your humor
Let's be friends
How do I politely
invite myself to one of your parties?

I want to break
the glass
but I'm afraid
the shards will cut you
and then my
hind hands will mean
Nothing to you
I couldn't stop that
bleeding
no matter how
soft my touches
Probably because
my hands would be bleeding
too

His presence
begs me to look over
while
the awareness of his presence
Commands I close my eyes

Give it to me straight
a shot of reality
Don't bother with a chaser
I'm used to the burn
afterwards I'll be numb
anyway

I'm starting to see shadows
in the peripherals of my
memory
the noises are a muffled
echo
this illness filters
I'm scared
I'm alone
stumbling over what was
always there

The turn of the corner
is where the rainbows
hide
learn to cut corners
(glass and walk)
you'll find transfixing
color

I know I should have stopped
five texts ago
I understood your silence
I knew I wasn't wanted
but
sometimes talking to a brick wall
is better than talking to
nobody at all

I still remember how
you murmured
empty love words
against my mouth
in that dark room
where our skin touched
and for the briefest of moments
our hearts met

It's the tree of life
get it?
I hope you do because

I'm going in and out
and I need something to
ground me

and you need soil
something to hold

If I sigh louder
will they notice?
At what decibel
will I sound damaged?
Do I have to scream
my hurts in their faces
to make them hear my pain?
To make them care.
My problems must air
in tears
and blood

I smile all
warmth and
summer of best intentions
host of hopes in spring
lukewarm courtesy is all
I receive
so I just put my head down
to hide my frigid burning tears
ineffectually with my
cold steel hacked so short
and shove my numb hands
into the snow
I have packed into my
ample pockets

What's the impression you got?
I got that you were impressed
and now you're gone
so I'm confused and
abandoned

dazed and confused
stuck in a murky stupor
the warmth of spring
and the lure of a free day
they tore down the calendar
and stole my books
so here I lay
unaware

Crooked windows
show more
of their landed view
and they let more snow in
they who built an unsteady house
we need to fix the foundation
raise the structure
and put some books under it
Let's hope that stops the wobbling

Second time
around
here we go
or we may not
so I'll board the merry-go-round
this carousel of disappointment
expectant as always
I shouldn't be

Quiet sincerity
and a deep brown stare
I like sitting here with you
engrossed in our philosophy
where will the conversation lead
that I could foresee wistfully
but a practical short time reality
pervades
so I am content with you before me

Go on
Dig nails into my hands
for frustration
at their creating
nothing

Unlikely on what ends?
How do I dream
When I never ever know
to begin with?

I need to quit this
bittersweet
Candy Man
sweet sugar
burns my eyes
he's rotting my teeth
out of my
***** mind

Parallels running
stagnant
frozen underneath a bridge
we are unsure where the
water leads
So we watch the light
bounce off it
and theorize

I walk alone
strut and tall
I fly
by
all leather boots
and smeared eyeliner
with a poisoned lip
you can't touch
my black lace
or wild hair
I have a ******* tongue
and no ***** for eyes
and a rhythm in my
woman's hips
Don't you see me flying?
smirk

A gargantuan
among flimsy slips
the card
Where the world was dropped

A broken pencil
and some cruel words
a nuisance
an uncomfortable memory of a fantasy
that's all I am
now

There have always been
dead smiles between
my teeth
Dishonestly
I resent them

Awful spirit
reclined in a chair
sleeping in indifferent good humor
Hold your legs up
let us look on sideways
and don't you dare look back

The thought of
seeing him
vis-a-vis
drains my
confidence
that soaked me
mère seconds ago
where there was fire
sickly butterflies
thrash

I traded the view
which was lovely
albeit lonely
for this cramped
poorly-carpeted
hallway

She has blood in her hair
the girl she doesn't know
working both ways
imagining sensations that aren't there
inventing words and ignoring old sounds
Let's give her a hand
this unwitting princess
we all want to save her voice
we all want her to see her own crown

Quivering moon
a reflection of your
old self
penetrating a bus window
or two
so bright aflame
I want to dance to you
as you dance alongside
your compatriot being

Somewhere in the apology
I lost my direction
a nervous outpouring
commingled with red heat
In the most obvious of places
and well
my train derailed
in a flurry of regret

I see you studying
the wall there
picking at the
old yellow paint
with your blunt fingernails
absentmindedly
transfixed
by the dapples in the concrete
What a wonderful seat
I've stolen
so close behind you
that I can see these
little lulls in you

Keeping a corpse
as company
cold hands to match mine
at least this one
stays
At least this one
listens
warmth it seems
corrupts

I don't have scars
I have words
buried into my skin
seeping deep past my flesh
through an innocent pen
wielded by a ruthless
broken poet

You're so
dry
you'll soak
any old
mean word
up

NEVER GO BACK
a finality I hope not
to hear
in my own fate
is it flexible?
I need the option